I think it is enough to remind myself of that sorrow. No fit, will never fit. Not understand, will never understand. No sympathy, will never sympathy. Maybe he will always think he was only one who was hurt. And I was a bad girl who trigger bad things to him. So today I sent him an email saying that I am sorry. Coz I feel his hurt, I know his feeling, I can feel other feeling clearly. So I accepted all is my fault. Even they were not all my fault. I had to play a bad role of girl to said that I was a bad girl, so forget me easily and I do not deserve to think about anymore.
That's it.
Actually, I know that I cannot fall into sleep if there is someone, even I do not love, being hurt and miserable coz of me.
So, let it be. Let them think like what they want, let them keep in their mind that I am a bad girl as they're sure. I cannot change their mind. So accept all. Make them get better, I will feel better.

Tomorrow is another day. I just need some people, even just one person understanding me, listening up to me, and knowing how to love and share with me. And there will be one for me. Don't need to explain, don't need to sacrifice, don't need to cry for accepting the bad things not me to make him feel good.