Wayne’s POV

Tanya, why won’t you leave my mind? I sighed as I layed down on my bed. All I could think about was her, her plump lips and how it tasted against mine. My mouth watered as I remembered how she smelled like lavander and something sweet I couldn’t figure out. She smelled like gentleness and comfort, yet she was the one comfort at that time. It soothed me to my bones. She had this uncertain heavenly warmth that radiated from every pores of her body. The softness of her demeanor. Her beauty was like of a perfectly still water or a cool morning air. She was refreshing to say the least.

I reached for my phone on the bedside table and I found myself dialing her number. I’d be happy just to hear her voice again.

“Hello?” I heard her sweet, soft voice after a few rings.

“Tanya.”

“Wayne.” She sounded surprised.

“How was your day?” Tanong ko.

“Uh… okay naman. Ikaw?”

“It was good.” I answered. Though it would be great if it was spent with you. I glanced at the clock to see that it was already eleven o’clock. “Natutulog ka na ba? Naistorbo ba kita?”

“Hindi naman. Kauuwi ko lang galing sa trabaho. Closing kasi ako ngayon.” Sabi niya.

“What are you doing now?” I asked.

“Katatapos ko lang kumain.” Sagot niya. “Nagdinner ka na ba?”

“Yeah. Ikaw nga ang naisip ko habang kumakain ako dito mag-isa. I was wishing you were here to cook dinner for me.” I let out a sigh.

“Hayaan mo minsan ipagluluto kita ng ulam. Pwede ilagay mo na lang sa fridge at initin mo kung gusto mo nang kainin.” She said.

“You would do that for me?”

“Oo naman.”

“Ano’ng oras ang pasok mo bukas?”

“Seven ng umaga.”

“Ano’ng oras ang tapos ng klase mo?”

“Six ng gabi.”

“Maaga ka pa bukas. You should go to sleep.” I said. “Good night, Tanya.”

“Good night, Wayne.” Sagot niya.

I still didn’t want to hang up the phone and she didn’t hang up either. There were no words needed to be said. Neither one of us spoke because it was almost as if an understood communication had been made. It was a comfortable silence like the silence where you just both can think together. Just to hear her soft breathing and just to know she was still there was enough for me.

“Good night.” Ulit ko pagkalipas ng ilang minuto.

“Good night.” She answered back again.

“Good night.” I chuckled.

“Good night.” I could hear the smile in her voice.

I shook my head, laughing silently. I was just waiting for her to hang up the phone so I could hang up but she kept answering my good nights. Baka hindi kami matapos kaka-good night nito. “Just hang up the phone.”

“Ah, okay. Sorry.” Parang natarantang sabi niya. “Good night, Wayne…”

“Tanya!” I burst into laughter.

“Sorry ulit.” She softly said before hanging up the phone. I shook my head as I looked at my phone with a smile on my face. What the hell was happening to me? What was all that about? She had bewitched me in a way no woman had before. I had never felt such an attraction in my whole life.

Tanya’s POV

Wala sa sariling niyakap ko ang phone ko nang ibaba ko iyon. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin mawala-wala ang ngiti ko. Hindi ako makapaniwalang tinawagan ako ni Wayne para kamustahin at mag good night lang. Ang bilis pa rin ng tibok ng puso ko.

May isang banda sa isip ko na sumisigaw na mali ito. Hindi ko dapat maramdaman ito para kay Wayne. Wala akong karapatan. I was just his paid companion. Ako lang din ang masasaktan sa huli kung magkukunwari akong hindi ako isang bayarang babae lang para sa kanya at normal ang relasyon na meron kami. I shouldn’t feel anything for him. This was just a job. Hindi dapat ako ma-attach sa kanya.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga ng maramdaman kong bumigat ang dibdib ko. Bakit pa kasi niya ako tinatrato ng ganito? Bakit niya ako hinalikan kanina? Bakit tinawagan niya pa ako? Naguguluhan ako sa mga ginagawa niya. Mas mabuti pa nga kung tratuhin niya ako ng gaya sa pagtrato niya sa akin noong una. Kahit paano alam ko kung saan ang lugar ko. Na binabayaran niya lang ako para gawin ang kahit anong gusto niyang ipagawa sa akin.

Ngayon sa mga ginagawa niya natatakot akong baka makalimot ako. Baka mahulog ang loob ko sa kanya. Kahit na ayaw kong mangyari iyon at kahit pilit kong isinisiksik sa utak ko na hindi pwede, hindi ko pa rin siya matanggal sa isip ko. Hindi ko pa rin makalimutan hanggang ngayon ang pakiramdam ng mga labi niya at ang lasa nito. Kapag ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at pilitin ang sarili kong matulog siya ang nakikita ko. Parang nararamdaman ko pa rin ang yakap niya sa akin kagabi.

You’re safe with me. I promise. Parang naririnig ko pa rin ang boses niya na ibinubulong sa akin iyon. He made me feel safe. He made me feel loved. He made me feel special. Kung patuloy niyang gagawin iyon alam kong mahihirapan akong pigilan ang sarili ko na mahulog ang loob ko sa kanya. I should use my brain and not my emotions. Kailangan kong parating tandaan na ako lang ang inaasahan ni nanay. Masyado na akong maraming problema para problemahin pa ang nararamdaman ko para kay Wayne. Isa lang ang sigurado at dapat kong tandaan… binabayaran niya lang ako.

Hindi naman permanente ito. Hindi siya magtatagal sa buhay ko. Aalis din siya kapag nagsawa na siya.

Wayne’s POV

I stopped my car in front of her school and waited for her. It was already six in the evening.  I was just about to call her to tell her I was already outside of her school when I saw her walking out of the building. She was with a girl and a guy. It was the same guy I saw her with the first time I picked her up. I got out of my car and walked over to where she was.

“Hi, Tanya.” I said in a monotone.

“Wayne!” She looked at me surprised but she quickly blinked away her surprise. “Um, ito nga pala ang kaibigan kong si Edna, at si Luis, hindi ba nagkakilala na kayo noon?”

I quietly nodded at her friend Edna and looked at Luis. That fucker was looking at me like he wanted to kill me. My lips lifted in a sneer as my hand reached for Tanya’s tiny waist, wraping it around the back of it and pulling her to my side. Lalong tumalim ang titig sa akin ng lalaking iyon. It doesn’t take a genius to see that he likes Tanya.

“Let’s go?” I asked with a smile as I turned my head to her.

“Hindi ba sabi mo sasama ka sa amin kumain sa labas?” Luis said, unsmiling.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you already have plans for tonight.” I said, trying to control my annoyance. I saw her biting her bottom lip with an anxious look on her face. I was subtly making her choose between them and me and she got the hint.

“Sorry, Luis, Edna, sa ibang araw na lang. May kailangan kasi kaming puntahan.” Sabi niya.

Edna nodded her head. “Okay lang. Gora na.” She said with a grin.

Lalong nagdilim ang mukha ng Luis na iyon at lalo naman lumaki ang ngiti ko. I saw him clench his jaw. Tanya was mine and I made sure he knew it.

“Halika na.” Aya sa akin ni Tanya. She was obviously uncomfortable having me around with her friends. She said good bye to her friends and we went over to my car.

“May gusto ba yung Luis na iyon sa’yo?” I asked while I was driving.

“Kaibigan ko lang siya.” Halos pabulong na sabi niya.

“May gusto ba siya sa’yo?” I repeated the question when I couldn’t get the answer I wanted from her.

 “N-nanligaw siya sa akin dati…”

“Nagpapaligaw ka?”

“H-hindi… Una pa lang siyang nanligaw sa akin sinabi ko na na hindi pwede. Kaibigan lang ang tingin ko sa kanya.” Her voice was shaking. “Huwag ka naman sanang magalit sa akin, Wayne.”

“Tanya…” I took a deep breath in and let out a long exhale. She was scared of me, I could tell. I couldn’t blame her. Sa ginawa ko sa kanya noon. I was a fucking monster to her. God, I felt an asshole. “Hindi ako galit sa’yo.”

She finally relaxed when I said that.  Dinala ko sa parking lot ng condo ang kotse ko at bumaba na kami. She started nervously fidgeting again as we walked to my condo unit. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she turned her head and looked up at me. I gave her a smile that was supposed to be comforting but I must have done something wrong since she looked nervous anyway.

I used my card key to open my door and we went in.

“Hindi ba sabi mo ipagluluto mo ako ng dinner?” Nakangiting sabi ko sa kanya. “Gutom na ‘ko.”

 “Ano bang gusto mong kainin?” Tanong niya sa akin. She was less nervous this time.

“Kahit ano’ng lutuin mo, kakainin ko.” I answered.

“May manok ka ba?”

I nodded my head. “Meron sa freezer.”

“Gusto mo ba ng tinolang manok?”

“Sure.” I smiled.

I brought her to the kitchen and I sat on the island while I watched her cook. She was beautiful to the core. Everything she does was beautiful. There was just something unmistakingly fragile about the way she looks and the way she acts. I had seen her sobbing her heart out, shaking. But the way she carried herself was completely compelling. You could fall for her as easy as breathing. I was very drawn to her.

Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinapit siya sa baywang habang nakatalikod siya at abala sa pagluluto.

“Wayne!” She was startled.

“Luto na ba? Naamoy ko na kasi.” I whispered, my lips on the shell of her ear.

“M-malapit na.” She softly said. “Gusto mo bang tikman kung okay na sa’yo ang timpla?” Natatarantang sabi niya bago umikot paharap sa akin. Inilapit niya sa bibig ko ang sandok.  I took a sip and cussed loudly when I felt it burn my lips and tongue. Nabitawan ni Tanya ang hawak niyang sandok. “Wayne, sorry. Hindi ko sinasadya. Sorry talaga.” She apologized, touching my lips with her shaky hand.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at ngumiti. “Geez, Tanya, you need to calm down.” I chuckled. “Hindi naman kita kakainin kapag nagkamali. Just calm down, okay?”

Dahan-dahan niyang binawi ang kamay niya sa akin at tumango. Tumalikod ulit siya at nagpatuloy sa pagluluto. After a few more minutes, the food was finally cooked. Hinain niya iyon sa mesa at sabay kaming kumain.

“Ang sarap nito, ah.” Sabi ko bago sumubo.

“Paborito yan ni nanay.” She said with an unguarded smile. I loved how her face lits up everytime she talks about her mother. Halatang mahal na mahal niya ang nanay niya. I wanted to see more of her in that light.

“Kaya pala ang sarap. Siguro madalas mo ‘tong niluluto para sa kanya.” I said.

She shook her head.  “Kapag ay natitirang pera lang pero bihira mangyari ‘yun. Madalas kasi kulang ang pera namin dahil marami kaming kailangan bayaran.”

I felt a tug on my heart, a wave of sadness hitting me. I felt sorry for her. Mas lalo kong naiintindihan ngayon kung bakit kailangan niyang pasukin ang ganitong trabaho. Nangangailangan talaga siya. I could never imagine wanting something to eat and not have the money to be able to buy it.

“Dalhan mo ang nanay mo nito.” Sabi ko.

“Huwag na, Wayne.” Nahihiyang sabi niya.

“Tanya, lahat ng sasabihin ko susundin mo.” I said in a calm voice. “Mag-uwi ka ng ulam para sa nanay mo. She needs to taste how good this is.”

She quietly nodded her head. Natapos na kaming kumain at niligpit niya ang pinagkainan namin. I told her to just leave the dishes on the sink dahil pupunta naman ang house keeper para linisin iyon bukas ng umaga. Pinalagyan ko rin siya ng tinola sa plastic container para iuwi niya sa nanay niya.

Inaya ko siyang manood ng movie sa sala pagkatapos namin kumain. I let her pick a movie on netflix and we both watched it. It was a girly chick flick movie, I didn’t even know how I was able to stand it. I yawned and let my head rest on her lap and she mindlessly stroked my hair with her fingers as her eyes were glued on the tv. I didn’t know how she could do it. She quiets my mind just with her presence and she cradles my angst just by her touch. She needed me but I needed her more. She was my quiet comforter. My calm in this insane world.