Van Gogh was impulsive.

-Joni Mitchell-

SAMANTHA MCKENZIE

My chest rose up and down like a paper bag that was being blown by a hyperventilating kid. I swallowed hard, my lungs were stinging and my muscles felt like they were being rubbed intensely. The rogue’s screams were almost inaudible. The exhaustion, the erupting pain across my torso submerged me and like the dead, I was banished to a dreamless sleep.

I awoke to a serenity. My eyes opened into slits, I fastened them shut as soon as I did, saving myself from the harsh burning, as it felt like I hadn’t opened them in forever. My ears followed suit, recognizing and sending stimulus to brain taken from my surroundings, the sound of the rain on the roof, lulling me to sleep again. Slowly, opening my eyes once more, taking notice of what room I was in.
The walls were painted a cool grey, the lights were off but the room was partially lit up with a lava lamp on the bedside table. I got up slowly remembering the last time I was easily knocked down by a feisty headache and switched the lights on. Exposed wooden shelves, a desk, and chair in one corner in front of a window, a power station 5 (ps5) before the bed along with a 65 inch smart TV.

There were beautiful shades of blue about the room. This room had everything including a mini-fridge, but then the question hit me, where was I? I was feeling a little overwhelmed, a little lost, and that heated tug on my mind and body fired up again. The boys were close and it worried me. Then I realized that there was water running in the shower, I slowly approached the bathroom but when I did, the shower stopped and I did too.

The door handle turned slowly and the door opened and before me, was Jacob, his lower body wrapped in a towel, propped on his head was a towel to dry his dripping wet hair. I just stood there and stared, what else was I supposed to do? I thought for sure he’d make a snippy remark.

“Hey sleeping beauty, you’re awake... again.” No shit sherlock, of course, I’m awake, what’d you expect? For me to sleep forever? I almost did a double-take but only because he sounded sincere.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Uh, yeah, I’m okay.”

“Do you remember anything that happened in the last couple of weeks?”

“Last couple of weeks?”

Three weeks ago...

“Why the fuck was she out wandering the forest wounded and by herself?” Devon yelled, but I could feel the anger seething from his words. “She’s blood regardless of what the fuck you think is going on. You let her go out on her own to be killed by who knows what. Did you think about the logic behind the story, be fucking serious! How could your sister kill your mother?”
 
“Why are you protecting her? You’re letting your feelings as her father cloud your judgment as alpha. If you know her that well, you should have known that she tried to kill mom by puncturing the tire and that’s why they were in a car accident.” Scott crossed his arms over his chest, standing his ground as he spoke to his father in a not so respectful tone.

“Are you an idiot, or what?! Huh?! As much as you think you know her you don’t. You haven’t spent any alone time with her nor have you been a part of her life for the past seventeen years. How can you be so sure she’s not capable of killing our mom?”

Suddenly, Scott’s voice lowered, to the point where you could hear every sorrowful word he spoke and his voice cracked, and so did his heart. “Are you that desperate to have your daughter back that you’re blind to who she is. Do you relax easily knowing you’re risking this family’s integrity for a stranger? Aren’t we enough?”

Even though Devon heard his son, his heart didn’t agree. He felt he knew Sam enough to know she was no killer. What Scott said made sense, he hadn’t meant for it to seem like he wasn’t happy with the family he had before. Sam was just an addition. Devon heaved a heavy sigh, his thoughts somersaulting in his head, “That is not how we deal with things in this family and certainly not this pack. You consult me for every goddamn thing before you do it. There is a reason why I am alpha, you know that things are what they are because you feel it. I don’t expect you to get it. I expected more of you if anything, you should have trusted and stood up for your sister since you’ve spent more time with her than I have. Your impulsiveness is what is clouding your judgment.”

The sounds of their breaths, no words spoken just the atmosphere heavy and thick with a mix of emotions between the two in the room. It had been a while since Scott had been to his father’s office. Scott hadn’t spent that much time at Et Cero and his father and he had drifted because Devon was almost always busy. Devon continued, “This impulsiveness of yours isn’t a trait of a true alpha. Being responsible for an entire pack, having everyone turn to you for answers, their lives in your hands, decided with any word spoken from your lips is a heavy crown to bare. It’s no longer about you. Your bad decisions are a liability for families and families of this pack and at the end of the day, you will be held accountable. Being alpha and weak cannot co-exist. Choose to fail or win or else you’ll get your ass handed to you by your brothers and sister. They are just as capable of leading as you are.” And with that Devon left the room, the conversation had come to a halt.

Scott was ponderous with reason, as he relayed the utterance of his father, he wondered if he was faulty in his thinking. Had he been too hasty in his actions and after hearing what his father had to say about being alpha, was it something he wanted or was it something that was ingrained into him for him to want. Was power his true desire or was it what was expected of him as the alpha’s first alpha-born kin.

To be continued...