I stumbled around the streets for days without sleeping. The craving was too intense, and I couldn't say no to it. My head still spun from all the blood and adrenaline of the hunt. 

I have to quit; today is the last day. I wandered aimlessly, and my feet led me to a place where I shouldn't be. I opened the gate and slowly climbed the stairs. I felt so empty, so alone. A few more steps, there. My feet stopped outside the door, but my body protested. Is this really where I wanted to go? I leaned my forehead against the wood, took a deep breath, and tears flowed. 

I have to stop. I knocked, but no one answered. I banged on the door, but no one was there. Fuck. I sank down on the cold floor, knees drawn up to my chin, arms wrapped around my shins. There I sat, rocking on the top step, waiting. 

I saw feet pass by, but I didn't know who they were—no vampires, no humans, something similar to him. My legs no longer obeyed me; I was stuck here. I couldn't move forward; my body had given up. I thudded my back against the wall, my hands shook, and my body screamed. 

Fuck... that young girl who just walked past me; I would easily be able to... No... no... NO! Never again. Never. I hid my face in my hands. More people passed by, and somewhere far away in another reality, I heard a mother telling her child to stay away from people like me. 

I laughed inside; I emptied people like them for breakfast. Or? Maybe not, not people like them. Where the hell was I? Was I dreaming again? 

Everything went black, and I welcomed the quiet darkness. 

"Bel?" His voice sounded so distant. Suddenly, my cheek burned. "Belmont!" Someone shook my shoulder, grasped my arm, and helped me to my feet. "Are you alive?" It was him. 

He sought my gaze, but I avoided looking up at him as he crouched in front of me. We hadn't gotten very far before I collapsed on the hallway floor. "Are you hurt?" I shook my head. "Are you being hunted? Did someone follow you here?" 

I placed my hands over my head and rested my forehead against my knees. "No."

 "Bel," he stroked my hair once, "why are you here?"

 "I couldn't handle being at home," I whispered, glancing at him with my wide eyes. 

"So you ran," he concluded, and I immediately had a flashback to Clocksworth's words. I always left when things got too hard. 

"I needed a walk," I whispered weakly. 

"So you came here." 

I nodded. "Eventually."

I watched as he put two and two together, while his eyes moved over my dirty, bloodstained clothes and landed on my trembling hands. "When's the last time you drank blood?" I bit my lip to avoid answering, immediately tasting the stale, dried blood. Fuck. He took a firm grip on my chin and forced me to look at him. "Today?"

I ran my hands through my hair and nodded, tears welling up in my eyes as I finally met his gaze. "I can't stop," I whispered, dropping my eyes to the floor. 

With a sigh, he stood up and reached out a hand. "Come on," and he led me into the bathroom, turning on the tap for the bathtub. 

The sound of rushing water filled the room and thundered in my ears. I gripped the sink tightly, doing everything I could to avoid the large mirror, but I didn't succeed. I looked terrible, and when he stood behind me, the contrast became even clearer. He was alive, and I was fucking dead. 

"You're going to break if you keep this up," he said seriously, meeting my gaze in the mirror. With a sigh, I closed my eyes and nodded. "Do you hear what I'm saying, Bel?" he pressed, "you have to stop." 

"I've tried," I mumbled quietly. 

"Try harder." 

"It's not that simple..." I whispered with a trembling voice, closing my eyes to escape reality. The world spun around me, the water thundered, and my body screamed for more blood. With a jolt, I opened my eyes again and stared in shock at Gaston's face. I gazed doubtfully into his eyes—I killed you! I killed you! How the hell could you survive again? 

Rage fumed inside me, and I punched him straight in the mouth, screaming in pain as the mirror shattered and my whole hand was cut open. I doubled over and tried to back away, but something was in my way. Someone grabbed my upper body and held me. I struggled to break free, screaming and crying, but the arms around me were determined, and far back in my head, I heard a voice—I heard my name. Then everything went black. 

I woke up with a start from the sudden heat as my body sank into the warm bathwater. "Stay still," he ordered, taking a firm grip on my wrist, and I stared hypnotized as he pulled shards of glass from my skin with tweezers. The warm water flowed over me, and I wiped away the light pink liquid running along the white porcelain. 

"Don't say anything," I whispered, running my fingers through my dirty hair as I waited for him to finish. One look, and I knew the questions were coming. 

"Do you hallucinate often?" 

"I-I think so." 

He bit his lip and shook his head as he grabbed something from a bathroom cabinet and began wrapping bandages around my hand. "Who did you think I was?" 

My eyes teared up again, and I immediately rubbed them off. "Someone who made my life hell since I was younger." 

"Where is he now?"

 "I killed him," I replied coldly. "That's all we do. We kill each other until no one is left." I suddenly sat up straight, water sloshing over the edge, and yanked the plug from the tub. "I wasn't always like this; I felt sick just thinking about blood. I couldn't even hold a fucking gun without shaking," I sniffed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist. 

He raised an eyebrow and looked straight through me. "Unlike now?" 

I fought hard to hold back the tears as I pushed past him. "I never asked for this fucking life. Someone else chose it for me."

 I stood in the doorway to the bedroom, staring dreamily at the bed as he finally came after me. "Would you rather be human again?" 

Without hesitation, I nodded and turned so I could lean my forehead against his collarbone. "My life sucked pretty bad back then, but not like this." I held my breath, waiting for what he would do, and exhaled with relief as he let his hands roam around my trembling body, and finally, I felt the comforting warmth I had longed for all this time. 

"It'll  get better." 

"Promise?" 

He laughed softly. "No." 

With a deep sigh, I pressed my ear against him and listened intently to the strong heartbeat echoing inside his body. "Drink to live, don't live to drink," I murmured quietly, closing my eyes.

I  wake up when Conor dropped my phone beside me on the bed with a thud. "It's fully charged."

"I don't need it."

He was silent for a moment before sitting down on the edge of the bed where I was curled up in his thick blanket. "You should call them."

"Not now."

He sighed and shook his head. "I thought they were your family?"

"That doesn't make it any easier, does it?"

With a sigh, he sank down onto the bed beside me. "True."

I looked up. "So your family is still complicated?"

"Mildly put," he muttered as his hand searched for a strand of hair on my head. "How long have you been gone?" I thought about it for a while; I honestly had no idea. "Days?" he finally asked.

"Yeah."

"Weeks?"

"Maybe." I picked up the phone and glanced at the screen, over twenty voice messages.

"Call him."

"What should I say? He hates shifters and he—"

"And my family is hardly thrilled that I'm hanging out with you," he interjected, "but I still let you in, right?"

"And now you want me to reconcile with Nic so I can go home and leave you alone," I muttered with a hint of a broken heart.

"Yes, so you can hurry up, sweetheart, I have places I need to be," he replied calmly.

"Great." Slowly, I let my thumb glide over the screen for a moment before I searched for his name. 

He answered straight away. "Where the hell are you! Damn it, Bel, if you leave like that, you'd better charge your damn battery!" He almost screamed out his worry and panic when he answered.

"Sorry, Nic, I—"

"What the hell have you done?" He interrupted, and the words spilled out of him without pause. "Did you go looking for him anyway? Are you in Paris? Bel, did you go back to New York? Why didn't you say anything? You know I would have come with you, I don't want you to go alone because you've looked so damn worn out, Bel, I don't know what's eating at you but damn, I'm here." He paused for a moment, and his voice was just a whisper as he continued. "You can't just leave like that..."

I placed my hand on my forehead and closed my eyes to gather all the shattered pieces within me before I could manage to reply. "I just needed to be alone."

"What?"

"I... I—"

"Just say it, Bel..!"

I took a deep breath to collect myself before I continued. "He's everywhere, Nic, I see him."

"Who?" he asked cautiously. "Clocksworth?"

"And Gaston," I mumbled, "and everyone I've killed..."

"Humans?!.. When—.. Bel, do you mean you've..?"

"For months," I whispered. 

It was silent for a long time on the other end of the line, and I took the opportunity to wipe away the tears that had rolled down my cheeks before he finally said something. "Are you coming home?"

"Soon," I whispered.

"Call if you need me to pick you up, okay?" 

I nodded and completely forgot that he couldn't see me. "Bel?"

"I'm coming home tomorrow."

"Okay."

The phone slipped from my hand and fell straight down onto my chest. A pair of arms grabbed me and pulled my trembling body close. "There," I sobbed, "you'll be rid of me tomorrow."

"Good," he murmured with his lips against my hair. "But you can stay as long as you want, sweetheart."

"Thanks," I mumbled and moved closer. "But I don't want you to get beat up by Papa wolf."

His fingers tangled in my hair again, and I felt my entire body relax as his fingertips moved along my neck. "Don't worry about me, sweetheart, I'll be fine."

"Thanks," I mumbled softly, on the brink of drifting into the world of dreams. "Conor," I continued quietly, "I wanted to stay with you."

I felt his body tense, and it took a long moment of anxious waiting before his arm finally held me a bit tighter. "I know, Belmont," he murmured against my hair. "You had no choice."

I nodded slightly and buried my face in his neck, "and now it's too late," I acknowledged, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in my hair.

"Says who?"

Surprised, I lifted my head and looked into his eyes, "Me, you deserve better than this."

"So you're making decisions for me now? Dammit, Belmont, do you think I'm doing this because I hate you?" he sighed.

I lay back down again; his words warmed me, but I knew in my heart that I couldn't stay. I would ruin his life again. "Why?"

"Use a full sentance, sweetheart."

"Why don't you hate me?"

He sighed heavily, "you're fucking annoying, but it's impossible to hate you."

"So, does that mean you want me to stay?" I whispered softly, letting my fingertips trace over his chest.

"What I want isn't relevant, you have things to sort out; if you want my help, you can have it, but I'm tired of the drama."

"Okay," I whispered even quieter, "so if I sort things out, can I come back?"

"You know where to find me," he murmured, holding me a bit tighter.