Chapter 11

NEVEN

Sweat rolled down his back as the sun rolled over the high point in the sky. He and Kemal took the lead of the pack behind them, who quickened to overtake him. The collected breathing of the unit remained stagnant and mismatched. Each one, fighting for a place outside the rest, a thirst to prove themselves. It was the one thing unchanged from Naveera. Hot wind brushed over his face and slowed him into a melted puddle as the others scrambled ahead at his moment of weakness, with Kemal keeping his own steady, consistent pace. His strength. Endurance.

The path twisted and curled into fanged stone until they reached several bridges back to the main mountain, the path to the south beach marked on a small bush on the other side. Kemal rushed across the swinging bridges without hesitation, and it rattled in the jaws of the wyverns clamping them in place on each end, strengthened by runestone teeth. Each bridge led to a rocky butte along the sides before another bridge replaced the last. Railings surrounded the edges, keeping anyone who tread the path safe from whatever rested below.

He reached the first bridge with the others long ahead of him, and Kemal climbed up the final wall with ease and the help of the fiber mesh ladder. Neven placed his foot on the wooden platform, then froze when the hot wind turned cruel and trembled the ropes. One more step, and he dragged his feet forward, unable to send out his ice to keep him in place. His fingers dug into the ropes as he dragged himself into the middle, and ahead, the pack took turns up the ladder.

He looked down.

Mistake.

Dizzying crags led into a hungry, azure beast. Foam teeth crashed against the thick pebbles between the eroded parts of the volcanic mountain. His heart jumped into his throat, and pressed into his lungs as his knees buckled. What? He expected a white nothingness beneath him, not the Infernal Hells themselves. Air constricted his chest as he crawled to the butte, another cruel overhang waiting for him as his knees hit the rock, and it dragged across his palms and made him bleed when he pressed deeper into it. As he choked on life, he raised his head to the others. Some glanced back at him, but continued their climb without hesitation, with Kemal long out of sight, so close to his goal.

Nails scraped against the small pebbles when the wind shoved him, a slow, agonizing beckon over the edge.

Alone in isolation when the last of the pack disappeared through the thick growth above. Fog flitted through the peaks as he dragged his frozen body closer to the bridge, the final obstacle. It brought him close to another peek at the hungry jaws of the azure monster, roaring for blood and bones. A whistle rang throughout his ears as he found himself dragged back by his own legs. Lungs full of bile, he sat in the middle of the rock and gasped for life. No! I'm falling behind! No! Don't think about falling at all! Just. He pushed himself onto the last bridge, and it swung with the slightest motion. Just get across. Just get across. In the middle, a different set of jaws clamped onto his body when he found himself entranced by the swirling below.

His fingers wound through the fibermesh cradling the entire bridge. Chills spiked his downy feathers against his ears and sent pulses of pain through his temples as he clung on tighter. It howled, hungered, relentless. Ice pierced out in horrific false spines. Teeth slathered against snow and marble.

Everything refused to move, and if he grew any heavier, he'd plummet and shatter. Into a million pieces. His name, nothing but a memory. Bile grew in his lungs, and the wind gave him no succor or reprieve from the taste as he rested his brow against the mesh. Ropes creaked. Stone sang. Lost in the cruel clarity, it swung him into a fatal lullaby.

Awoken by the sound, the note, of his name.

"Oi, Neven!"

Kemal stood at the edge, but climbed down the mesh ladder while the rope bridge swung closer to the beast. Neven glanced upwards for a savior, for the dreams of his ancestors. The sun continued on, and time truly waited for no one. Kemal, so close to victory, threw it all away when his feet touched the bottom of the mesh and he came closer to the rope bridge.

"What are you doing?" Neven screeched through the birdsong. "You're going to waste time!"

"Waste time?" Kemal questioned over the wind. "What do you mean?"

"The south beach! The whole reason we're doing this!" Neven squeaked and drove his fangs through his tongue for his childish vocalization. "I'm fine! Just go!" He sunk deeper into the rope. Wind slammed into his eyes and made them water. More weakness. Further shame. If I let go, I'll fall. I'll fall and shatter. I'll fall. I can't fly. He whimpered and flattened himself closer to the bridge. Wood creaked, and he glanced to the side. Horror and surprise swallowed him when Kemal gave up the prize to make a slow approach to him. "No! I said go! You're going to lose the test!"

Kemal ignored him.

"You're going to lose!" Neven said louder, just in case the roaring wind and hungry beast below silenced his song.

"You're hyperventilating." Kemal stopped a few planks ahead, then reached his hand out. "Here. I can get you across. Just look ahead. Don't look down. Look up if you have to. Isn't this the first time you've ever really experienced a day?"

Questions. Questions. Always questions. Neven threw his head side to side to chase away the wind. "No! I have to do this myself!" His fingers dug and scraped against the rope as he snarled at the beasts below. "I can do this myself!" Claws raked down his lungs and chest. "I will!"

"You're frozen scared, Neven," Kemal argued. "It's okay."

I must. I will. I will not hold anyone down. I will...

"Neven," Kemal repeated his name, the song through another person's mouth. "You don't need to choke on your pride, just take my damned hand and choke on it on solid ground." Wood groaned underneath his boot when he took one last step closer, stretching his hand out further.

He echoed out the Naveeran songs he had on hand, forcing his Navei out, nails against screaming rock, "I am not afraid. I will fly. I will fly and be free. Apathy is death. Apathy is finality. Apathy is despair. It is the most ancient of fears. All else trembles before its red song."

"Okay, so, I don't understand Navei," Kemal pointed out. "Just take my hand, Nev."

"Why did you come back for me when you were so close to completing this Gauntlet?" Neven rasped, losing strength. "I have not helped you. I have done nothing to deserve this."

"Well, that's just a lie," Kemal said. One step closer, he then leaned down. "And, it's not about deserving."

Neven tore his attention from the drop to Kemal. "Then what is it about?"

"What are we here for?" Kemal extended his hand one last time.

Question answered with another question. It broke the dizzying spiral out of his mind, and cracked the fatal song. Neven let go of the rope and grabbed his hand. He froze when the wind swung the bridge, but Kemal pulled him to his feet. Each step, a shake. Each step, however small, led him to the stability of the ground. Kemal dropped him when they reached the end, and he savored the feel of the solid stone, before launching himself up the mesh rope, all to put distance between himself and the cruelty behind him. Kemal followed behind without another word, or a sense of urgency. Through the underbrush, Neven collapsed against the ground and breathed deep.

"You can go ahead, now." Neven scowled at the wet droplets hitting his foundation.

Kemal sat in front of him instead. "Nah, let's talk."

"What?"

"Let's talk," Kemal said.

"We are on a time limit!"

"I know."

Neven checked the sky. Time waited for no one. His lungs released the constriction around his throat. On his hindquarters, he sat cross legged and sank into his shoulders. "I am sorry," he whispered. "I have slowed you down. You were close to winning."

"Winning?"

"Succeeding at this first test," Neven rasped and brought his hands to his head, pulling out some down. "Here I am, being a nuisance, a problem, a burden. My conduct has been shameful, my actions, moreso. I have failed again and again." He dropped his hands to his lap and let some downy feathers fly free, then brought his hands to his eyes and hid his tears. "Every word that people measure hurts them. I do not know what I say wrongly."

"You've just recently learned the basics of Common from what I can tell," Kemal argued. "You're not going to get the nuances of it on day one, Nev."

In the silence, the apathetic dread hit his stomach and stifled his soul. "All I've ever wanted was to see the sun... but maybe I don't belong here."

"You've never seen the sun?"

"Not until recently."

Kemal stared at him, then frowned. "Neven, can I ask you something?"

"That is you asking already, but yes." He sank deeper into the apathy, the sense of stability and safety of a cold, frozen home.

"If you think you don't belong here, why did you make the choice to come?"

Neven studied the other boy, his expression curious and lacked judgment. "Warden Anaysa said she saw something in me."

"Not what I asked. I asked why you—" Kemal drawled out with a point. "—made the choice to leave your home behind and come here, an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar customs and thoughts, to learn and train to be a Storm Warden."

Neven sat there, chewing on the question. He stood over the Volaris squire, and though people cheered, he was not a performer. Though people cried out a name, it was not his own. Atoran Lotayrin come again. Atoran Lotayrin of the Ice Glaive, of the Knights of the Round, the right hand of the Snow Prince. He looked down upon the squire, and found the fight pointless. Among the cheers, the Derelict hissed and hungered for what little joy his people had. It hunted his friends, and he brought his soul to bear.

"Because... I would've never been happy not knowing. I would not have been happy in frozen ignorance, though many others choose that course. It would've been expected of me to do the same, to follow the name I bear... the family song I carry, only to lose it to apathy. I would've followed it, been married as befit my station, and continued on," Neven put words to the feeling in his chest. "But those things don't matter. It is a performance. A lie. I wanted... to do the right thing. For my people. For the world I had yet to see and meet. The truth in the song we abide by."

Kemal nodded, as if leading him to an obvious conclusion he failed to see. "Think."

Neven glanced at him, then mulled over his own words. "I didn't want to see the sun," he whispered. "Having never looked upon it, I wanted to... protect it. This, I felt in my soul."

And it came to life through my being, in the shape of a wyvern.

His truth.

The song.

"For those that come before, and those that come after."

He jolted at the strange saying, but Kemal shrugged. "Old Hanekan poem. Words of the first pillar, King Pyren."

"Yes... exactly that."

"Then, I think you're right where you're meant to be after all." Kemal hauled himself up, then held his hand out. "Come on, let's go catch up to the others."

"Aren't we too late now?" Neven murmured.

Kemal drew his shoulders up again. "Eh. It's only the first day of training."

Neven breathed out the rest of the pressure, though tears bit at the corners of his world. "Thank you, Kemal."

"We're going to be fellow Storm Wardens," Kemal pointed out. "If you need a boost, I'll give it. If you need me to pull you kicking and screaming through the Echo Obscura, I'll do that too." He smiled. "Just don't forget."

Don't forget... Neven nodded. "Kemal?" he asked as the other boy returned to the path. "Why did you choose this?"

"Hm..." Kemal hummed. "I'll tell you later once we're through this, how about that?"

Neven nodded. "Okay."

On the trail of the sun, he followed Kemal through the rest of the Gauntlet, to their out of reach victory.


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