Sunoo stood outside YJ entertainment agency. It was five p.m, and Riki was supposed to be out soon. Riki always left the training center at five and then returned at six. He basically lived at the center, never heading home before it was past midnight.

Sometimes Sunoo regretted not signing the contract to an idol entertainment agency as a high schooler. It would've made him stay out of home for almost twenty hours.

Sunoo waved his hand at the tall, ebony haired Japanese boy.
'Hyung?,' Riki smiled widely at him, looking pleasantly surprised. He ran towards him, hitting his arm playfully. 'Yah hyung I didn't expect you to miss me so much. But I like it anyway,' he winked.
Sunoo winced, holding his arm. His scars had barely healed. His arm still hurt a lot.
Riki held his him by the shoulders. His smile faded. 'Hyung?,' he said in a soft voice.
Sunoo changed his expression in a heartbeat, his crescent smile returning back to his face. 'Yah Riki you're growing up too much these days. You don't realise how strong your punches are,' he pouted.

Riki crossed his arms and looked at him solemnly. 'Yeah right,' he scoffed.
'Show me, hyung. Show me your right arm,' he forcefully pulled Sunoo's sleeves, exposing bandages.
'Yah what's your problem!,' Sunoo screeched. A few people on the street stared at them but Sunoo didn't care. His face was red with anger.
'How many times have I told you not to do this!,' he said in a shaky voice. He was livid.

Why did Riki have to do this? Why did Riki like to know that he was hurting? Why did he like exposing his scars?

Riki was the only living human other than appa to know about Sunoo's dark secret. Sunoo was glad he had a friend to confide in and someone who would never judge him no matter what.
But it doesn't really matter. We as human beings, hate being vulnerable, even when we are. It is our deepest instinct to hide our darkest insecurities and our ugliest scars.

Nobody wants to see a broken version of you, nobody likes real sob stories, they only look good on paper. Everyone likes happy and perfect people. And if you do find someone who accepts you the way you are, it can't help but feel surreal. How can anyone dare to love us? They know we're not perfect and pretty like we pretended to be, so they must be lying when they said they accepted us, with all our flaws and all our hurt.

He pulled his sleeve back up. 'I guess I'll see you later, Riki,' Sunoo narrowed his eyes. He turned away from him, starting to walk to the opposite side of the road.
'Hyung wait,' Riki grabbed his shoulders. His hooded eyes bore into Sunoo's.
'I'm sorry,' he mouthed. Sunoo sighed.
'Let's go to a cafe and talk there, hyung,' he smiled. Sunoo nodded and followed him to Latte on the Rocks.

They sat down. Riki cleared his throat. 'So Riki,' Sunoo said cheerily. 'How's your training going on?'
'It's going well, hyung,' he pressed his lips together.
'But we need to talk about that first,' he pointed at Sunoo's arm. 'Yah Riki I-'
'Did that witch hurt you again, hyung?,' Riki squeezed his hand. His eyes almost looked moist, and Sunoo felt like if he didn't blink for a few more seconds, tears might fall down his cheeks.

Sunoo looked down at his hand, over which lay Riki's. He nodded.
'Your appa and you can come to stay at my place anytime you want, you know that right?,' he touched his shoulder. Sunoo shook his head.
'I know how much you care about me, but I'm afraid that's not possible.'

'It is!,' he insisted. 'I can't watch you like this, hyung! It hurts...I don't like it,' his voice cracked.
'Yah,' he smiled gently and gave his shoulder a squeeze. 'It's fine, I've tolerated her all this years, I'm sure I can survive a couple more,' he chuckled.

Riki rubbed his eyes.
'You're always welcome at my place, hyung. I'm always there for you, no matter what happens,' he stood up and hugged him. Sunoo patted his back.
'It was fine until I was a toddler,' he sighed. 'My parents were in love. My dad was in love with my stepmom,' he shook his head.
Riki had heard this story countless number of times yet he seemed to be listening to him intently.
'But it started getting weird. She got...,' Sunoo gulped.

'Scary,' Riki muttered under his breath.
Sunoo nodded.
'She would beat him up. Hit him. Cuss at him,' Sunoo exhaled deeply.
'She once slashed his back with a knife. She wasn't gentle to me either. My dad would often keep me at my grandma's, but after she died I had no place to go to.' He eyed his fingernails. 'My dad and I would've moved out, but nobody offers work to a man with a disfigured face. She destroyed appa's face so he would stay dependent on her. Never leave her,' he said contemptuously.

'I should be at home right now Riki. I should be looking after appa, taking care of him. But I'm a coward, Riki. I can't face my stepmom. I can't-', Sunoo pressed his lips together tightly and curled his hands into fists. 'I'm a horrible son,' he muttered.
'You're not, hyung,' Riki put an arm around him.
'I just don't know how to get out of this mess,' he sighed.

Riki looked at him in the eye. 'Hit her hyung. Push her down the stairs, crack her skull, stab her. When someone files a case, you can tell them it was purely self defence,' he said in a low voice. 'Hurt her in whatever way you can, show her that she can't keep abusing you anymore. You're much bigger than her, hyung.'

You're much bigger than her, hyung.

The words rang in Sunoo's ears. He had thought about this a lot, but somehow he could never get himself to do it.

Sunoo shook his head.
'I might look like I'll turn nineteen in a couple of months, Riki. But I'm not really that old,' he shrugged and smiled sadly.
Riki scrunched his eyebrows. 'What do you mean?,' he said.

'I might look like I've grown up, but when I face her, I'm still the same naïve and vulnerable five year old boy. No matter how old I am, I'll never be able to break out of that mentality, Riki,' he sighed.
'I really want to break out of it someday though. I really do.'

Author's note
Poor Ddeonu 💔💔

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