Soren rose an eyebrow, "Are you sure? You and your team just arrived in my fort, so I'm not entirely certain you'd want to do this."

I chuckled, "Hey, I need to get used to this realm, so going with your group is the best way to do exactly that. This trip will also show me what I should expect to run into while traversing Mareth."

Soren contemplated what I said before shrugging. "Very well. If you wish to come with, then so be it. Do you want anyone else from your team coming along with us?"

I looked at Luna, "Wanna tag along?"

"Sure, why not," She replied with a slight grin.

I then looked at Stanford, "What about you Pinesworth?"

His expression told me his answer before he opened his mouth to respond. "You know it Hel. I'm coming along whether you like it or not."

Catching his message, I nodded.

I turned my attention to the rest of my team and smiled, "Stay in the fortress, don't do anything stupid, and don't die."

Dorrian sighed, "I really appreciate your words of wisdom, asshole."

Simon observed this exchange silently. He then laughed and asked: "Is that how you usually address your friends and comrades? By calling them obscene slurs and insults?"

Dorrian laughed, "You know it rust bucket."

"That's not very kind of you, asshole," Simon retorted, looking at Soren, "I used that word correctly, yes?"

Soren groaned, "Yes, you did. I now have the feeling you'll be learning a few colorful words over the course of this mission..."

"And that's a bad thing?" Simon inquired, head tilted to the side curiously.

Soren rubbed his temples, "A part of me says yes, but perhaps I'll never know..."

Simon chuckled, looking at Tanis. "Hello Tanis. How are you?"

She chuckled, "Hello Simon. I'm feeling quite well."

He nodded, "That's good to hear."

Nova grinned, "Don't lose your mind while you're gone, Helix. That'd be a crying shame if that happened."

Ana snorted, "I think he's already lost his mind. Hell, he keeps hanging out with us, which is insane, borderline-suicidal behavior."

Dorrian rolled his eyes, "Hanging around you? Yeah, without a doubt. You have enough knives to take a dragon down without even batting an eyelash."

Ana's grin chilled me to the bone: "Oh, you know it."

I looked at Soren, "Can we please go?"

Soren groaned once again as he saw his wife talking excitedly with Analise while Dorrian stood off to the side with a mortified expression on his face, "Yeah, let's go before I have any second thoughts. Hey Sasha! You're in charge while I'm gone!"

"Got it, love!" She replied, "You can count on me!"

Soren looked sick to his stomach, "Okay..."

He motioned for me, Luna, and Stanford to follow him.

"Remember," Soren began as the gate opened up before us, "Have your weapons at the ready. You can never know when a demon is going to pop up and attack you, so it helps to be prepared."

I nodded and drew my sword, "Got it. Lead the way, and we'll follow."

We left the fortress and walked along a dirt path through the strange forest. Among the varying shades of green, I caught sight of other colors amongst the forest: purples, oranges, blues yellows, and pinks. I was mesmerized by this forest of colors, but the look of warning of Soren's face told me enough.

"Don't be distracted by the colors," He cautioned me, "Pretty as they may be, those colors belong to extremely poisonous plants that'll kill you almost instantly. Whether it be by inhaling its pollen or by eating its fruit, the further you can stay away from the brightly-colored plants, the better."

Bile stung my throat as I nodded: "Well, I'm not hungry anymore, so don't worry about me."

"Or me," Stanford and Luna mumbled in unison.

Tanis chuckled, "That's how I reacted when my father first took me outside of his fort. I thought this forest was so beautiful, but even the most beautiful of things can hold a deadly secret."

Simon snorted, "That's why my armor is black. People only pay attention to the pretty colors, so hardly anyone would perceive me as a threat."

Soren rolled his eyes, "Yeah, a seven foot tall, claymore wielding suit of possessed armor. When I have that vision in my head, I can hardly think of you as anything but a threat."

Luna looked at me in confusion, and I returned her look with a grin.

"Don't ask," I began, "You'd get a headache thinking about it."

"Tell me about it," She murmured.

Well, I was able to see why Soren told us to keep our weapons at the ready. We were reaching the outskirts of the forest when we were ambushed by a group of demons. Thankfully, we were ready. I torched a few imps while Luna swiftly dematerialized a small group of intermediate-class demons.

She looked at me in surprise, "Did-Did I do that?"

I nodded, grinning from ear to ear, "Yeah, you just did that."

"Most impressive," Soren commented, "Let's continue onward: we don't want to attract any more attention."

Everyone nodded, then left the outskirts of the forest. As we continued moving forward, I began to see a gradual change in the landscape around us. Before I knew it, we entered a sprawling, seemingly-endless desert.

I looked around, only seeing sand, sand, and more fucking sand.

"There's supposed to be a city in this wasteland?" I asked incredulously, "How the fuck-?"

I heard Luna yelp, followed the agonized howls of...Some hellish creature. I turned around quickly to find a maroon-skinned being on the ground behind me with a yellowish-green spike in his abdomen. Luna stood beside the fallen attacker with a stunned expression on her face.

"I-I only had enough time to hurl a spike at this...thing before it attacked you."

"Thanks," I breathed, hugging her quickly, "How many times have you covered me?"

"Enough times," She replied, quiet humor apparent in her voice.

Stanford chuckled, "You'll never be able to live this down, Hel."

"Shut the hell up, Stan Pines," I shot back without thinking.

His face went red, "You son of a bitch..."

Simon shook his head, "All of this senseless bickering is irritating me. If you two don't shut up, I will crack your heads together."

"Can it, you rust bucket!" Stanford and I shouted at him, only for the "rust bucket" to remain true to his word and crack our heads together.

"Hey, that's my job," Luna protested, "Besides, when I crack heads together, I make sure I don't cause any significant damage to their brains. They run around getting concussions enough as it is."

"Not helping, Luna," I retorted

Tanis and Soren seemed to be getting a kick out of this scene. I could tell they were trying their best to not laugh, but they lost their shit when Soren began to laugh his ass off.

"Yeah, yeah," Stanford grumbled, "Laugh it up."

Tanis shook her head as she idly wiped a few tears from her eyes, "Do you always argue with each other like this?"

"Yes," Luna replied instantly.

I huffed, "That's just how we roll."

"Aye," Stanford agreed.

"Well, can you blame me?" I continued, looking at Luna as she returned my glance with a raised eyebrow, "Considering the fact that Stanford shoved a fucking spear up my asshole, I have to get my revenge one way or another."

"If you never made fun of Stanford in the first place, you wouldn't have had a spear put up your rear in the first place." Luna retorted, growing more agitated as she continued to speak: "Think before you act, Helix. You have a brain for a reason, so don't waste your intellect on stupid shit like calling Stanford 'Stan Pines'! It's childish and unnecessary!"

I looked at her in surprise, and Simon looked between the two of us, "This is an interesting exchange. Tell me, do you two procreate?"

My face went deathly pale while Luna's face turned the shade of "Helix red."

"Okaaay..." Soren breathed when the silence had dragged on for far too long: "That was extremely inappropriate of you to ask such a question, Simon."

"Why?" He replied, seemingly ignorant to the elephant in the room.

Soren facepalmed, "It isn't right to ask someone such a...sensitive question. Not to mention the fact that Luna and Helix are still getting used to this realm. Just...abstain from asking such rude questions. Please?"

"Oh, sure," Simon replied, "Forgive me Helix. I didn't think before I decided to speak."

I was thinking of one-hundred different ways to destroy a suit of possessed armor when I grumbled: "Don't sweat it Simon."

I looked at Luna and sighed: "Sorry." I mumbled, "I never meant to make you mad."

She smiled, "I understand you screw with Stanford because it's funny, but in a place like this? It's not wise to goof around when we can be ambushed in the blink of an eye."

I nodded while feeling like a complete and total idiot, "Yeah, you're right. Thank the gods you're more right than I am."

She chuckled, "I'm more like the voice of reason in the maelstrom of thoughts that is your brain."

I snorted, "Aye, that's too true."

Tanis laughed, "Ignore Simon. He rarely ever understands human emotions."

"Ha, that much is certain," The hunk of metal replied, swinging his claymore around in lazy arcs. Even though it was a claymore, it looked like a regular sword in his hands. He twirled the blade in his hand while whistling a cheery tune, "Human emotions are so complex. I can hardly begin to understand them."

"Wait," I began, "How the hell are you whistling? You don't even have lips."

Simon shrugged, "Your guess is better than mine. Sure, I'm a suit of armor now, but I was once human. I barely remember that life-All I remember is this life: waking up on a table, staring at a demon as he worked on me, then the day when Soren found me. I'm content with this life: it isn't bland, and it gives me something worthwhile to do."

I nodded. I really wasn't expecting Simon to tell us anything about himself. Eh, the more you know, I guess.