"I have to catch up on work during lunch. Sorry, Stac," I said. My nerves felt like they were on fire. I hated lying to people I trusted. At least, I was supposed to trust them. Lying just got easier and easier the more I realize what kind of people they were. I felt like they'd been lying to me for a long time; at least, lying about who they were.

Stacie pouted. "Oh, dear Kiley. Why don't you do your work in class?

I wanted to shout that it was her fault for distracting me during class. She made me cause scenes in the middle of class. Maybe she wanted to destroy my education.

"Oh, it's not as important as you guys," I giggled. Every part of that sentence was forced. It almost stung coming from my lips. I hated putting on an act, but I had to. Ever since the incident, I'd had to wear a mask of indifference.

Nina and Stacie waved their goodbyes. I watched them go, unsure of how to think.

"Hey!" Kalila chirped.

I jumped. "Oh, you scared me."

She laughed, then nudged her cousin. "You better not be grumpy."

He waved a hand. "Me? Never."

She rolled her eyes, then turned back to me. "Come on, let's go!"

"So, where are we going? Fast food?" I questioned, trailing behind them.

Kalila slowed down, matching my pace. "Of course not, silly."

"I don't want you to pay too much for me," I said sheepishly.

"You're paying for her?"August snorted.

"Oh, hush," his cousin laughed.

There was barely anyone left in the hallway. People were walking in the opposite direction, probably towards the cafeteria. A part of me wanted to shrink back and join the crowd. I wanted to go and join Stacie and Nina. Like the few people lingering, clustered in pairs of two or groups of at least three, I wanted to stick with what I knew. I wanted to cling to the only people I had. I needed someone, because I couldn't drift through the hallways of life alone.

Kalila smiled, chin held high. August rolled his eyes at his cousin. He seemed to study me out of the corner of his eye, and my anxiety kicked in. My heart hammered, and I kept my eyes straight in front of me. As we walked out to a cloudy sky, I considered having Kalila and August as friends. I quickly dismissed the thought. They wouldn't stay with a mess like me.

We crossed the street and kept walking straight down a new street. I somehow ended up in the middle of the two. The walk was surprisingly silent so far, and I enjoyed the hum of the city. I enjoyed the fresh breeze on my face, along with the clouds above taunting rain.

"Why did you let her slap you?"

I startled, stopping in my tracks.

"August!" Kalila scolded.

He held up a hand to her, his dark gaze fixed on me. "No. You burned a jersey like you own the world-"

"August!"
"-but you let your supposed friends push you around?"

I blinked at him. Anger rose within me. Maybe it was because I knew he was right. Yet, I didn't need anyone in my business. I didn't need someone trying to point out my problems. My fists clenched by my sides. The thing was, someone else had noticed. It wasn't just me being stupid and rash.

But they were all I had. They were all I'd ever have.

"What are you talking about?"

Kalila placed a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. He's just being stupid."

"No," August said. "Tell her what I saw, or I will."

Tears pricked my eyes, and I shoved away from Kalila. "You don't want to be nice to me."

"Hey-"

August furrowed his eyebrows as tears slipped down my cheeks. My frustration was itching to spill over. My emotions needed to be acknowledged. "Thanks for trying, Kalila, but I think I should just go back."

August pursed his lips. "No, I-I didn't mean to make you cry. Gosh. I-"

I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand. "I hate crying. I'm sorry."

"Hey, but it's healthy to cry," Kalila soothed.

"I just saw the way she struck you. I just- I'm confused to your situation," he offered.

"What do you mean?"

I shook my head at her, and began to walk away.

"Wait! Do you like sushi? Come on, it's sushi!" Kalila begged.

My lips tilted upwards. "I do like sushi."

I slowly turned around to face her, suddenly feeling self conscious. I wrapped my arms around myself protectively, shivering as a drop of rain landed on my nose.

"Come on, hurry! It's going to rain!" She said.

August and I hurried behind her. I kept wiping away my tears, and they finally stopped, drying on my face.

We walked into a shop called Susanna's Sushi. Two cartoon sushi rolls flanked the cursive letters on either side. The inside smelled of fresh ingredients. A hostess greeted us at a wooden podium, a smile on her face. She was a sweet-looking elderly woman.

We sat at the long, glass sushi bar at the back of the store. There was a long line of wooden stools in front of it and quite a few workers behind it.

"Hi, welcome to Susanna's Sushi!" A boy around our age greeted us. He plopped a menu in front of each of us. It was a single, tan page that was laminated.

"I'll have the California Combo," August said automatically, not even bothering to glance at the menu.

"Drink first, idiot," Kalila whispered.

"A Dr. Pepper," he said.

The waiter nodded.

"I'll have a peach iced tea," Kalila ordered.

He nodded again.

I glanced down at the menu. "Um, I'll have a strawberry lemonade."

"Alright, I'll have those out shortly. Do you need more time to look at the menu?"

"No-"

"Yes!" Kalila interjected her cousin, shooting him a glare.

"Alright. I'll give you a few minutes," the waiter said.

I looked down at the menu. It mostly consisted of sushi, and my mouth watered. For a moment, I forgot about my inner turmoil and focused on the delicious food options.

"I think I know what I want," I told Kalila. The thing is, I wasn't just talking about food. I knew what I wanted; I wanted friends that would treat me like the human I was. I just didn't know how to get away from Nina and Stacie.

August pretended to study his menu. Kalila tried to talk his ear off, but he wasn't having it. She jabbed him in the ribs, and he yelped.

"It's rude to ignore people!"
"Yeah, I don't care," he laughed. "Lil, you can talk through the end of the world."

She whacked his arm, but she cracked a smile.

The waiter came back, and we all ordered sushi. I ordered a mix of different kinds. August wanted California rolls, and Kalila wanted some sushi with squid in it. I wasn't sure how that tasted, but I didn't want to find out.

As we waited for our food, August pulled out his phone and scrolled through it.

Kalila turned to me. "You okay, Kiley?"

I wanted everything to be okay, but it wasn't. "I think you know the answer to that."

She placed a hand on my shoulder. "Is what August said true?"

"Yeah. It's- fine. We're friends. We're good," I lied. I wanted to tell her everything. I wasn't sure why. Maybe I was tired of keeping it all buried deep inside.

"If you want us to be friends, you're going to have to trust us," she responded.

I looked away. "I know. I just- it's fine. They're my friends, and they can't go anywhere."

"Can't?" August piped up.

"Yeah, can't," I whispered. The sushi came, and I scarfed it down. It was delicious, and I should've savored it. I just needed to get out of there.

-----

So, thoughts? On Kiley's situation? On Kalila and August?

Do you like sushi? I do. Yum.

Song I listened to while writing this: Lie by NF. It got me in the grove, I don't know.

-Sarah