"What's it like to have sex?"

Archie sputtered the water he'd been drinking, staring at you incredulously. Jughead had went to the bathroom, leaving you alone with Archie with just enough time to ask the million dollar question.

"Why?" Archie asked, getting red in the face.

You groaned. "Because I think Jughead and I are gonna do it soon and I'm scared."

After admitting to Jughead you were ready to become physically intimate, you began taking part in what Veronica referred to as "heavy petting". Which was simple enough, but the act of sex itself was a whole other ballgame, and coming sooner than you were prepared for. The Internet was a confusing source of information, so you figured you'd search for a firsthand account yourself.

"Why don't you ask Betty or Veronica?" Archie said.

"It could make things weird between them and Jughead if they knew all about our business. You guys are like brothers, and frankly, I trust you more." You smiled hopefully. "Plus, you know what guys like."

Archie groaned, burying his face in a pillow. "This is too weird."

"Please?" You whined, pouting.

He sighed, relenting. "Fine. We need more time, though. And we meet in private. I don't want someone overhearing and telling Veronica what I'm talking to you about."

Jughead returned. "Hey guys. What are you talking about?"

You smiled sweetly, a plan concocting. "Archie just offered to accompany me for my voice solo for the solo-ensemble competition! So we need the room a couple of times a week for a while."

Jughead raised an eyebrow. "Why can't I be here? I live here."

You feigned a frown. "I'm really self conscious about my voice, Jug. I can't focus if I know you can hear my singing. It would make me feel a lot better if you were downstairs while we're rehearsing."

Jughead shrugged, wrapping an arm around you with a smile. "Anything for my girl."

Your eyes met Archie's across the room and you grinned mischievously. Operation: Birds and the Bees was in effect.

Lesson One: "Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!"

You went up to Archie and Jughead's attic bedroom, shooing Jughead away and closing the door. Archie got his guitar out and you played some recordings of your solo you'd done earlier, just in case.

"What first, teacher?" You asked with a grin, sitting criss-cross on Jughead's mattress on the floor.

"Don't call me that," Archie said, half-serious. "And we're going to jump right in, and talk about what's going to happen your first time."

Your felt a blush rise to your cheeks. While you were excited at first, you had to admit you were nervous. "Can't we start with something else?"

"This is the best way," Archie said methodically. "It gets rid of any awkwardness you may have regarding the subject, and you can ask any questions as you go. You'll know what to expect and you won't be as scared."

You nodded, mentally preparing yourself for a long lesson.

Archie was surprisingly, a very mature and considerate teacher when it came to sex education. He explained everything in non-confusing terms and wasn't judgmental when it came to your questions. You were still a bit shy despite yourself, but you learned a lot and felt more comfortable with the topic of sex.

The allotted time for your "rehearsal" reached its end, and you thanked Archie and left the room.

You rounded the corner and bumped into Jughead, who was heading up the stairs.

"Oh! Hi, Jughead!" You felt your face becoming hot and red, and you cursed your healthy blood circulation. Talking with Archie in abstract terms was one thing, but upon seeing Jughead you couldn't help but imagine everything you'd talked about actually happening!

"Hey," Jughead smiled, but it fell upon noticing your flustered appearance. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," you said, putting on a too-big smile. "A-A-Archie and I just practiced a lot! I'm pretty tired so I'm just gonna go straight home, bye!" You pecked his cheek and ran out the door.

Jughead quirked an eyebrow. You only stuttered when you'd first developed a crush on him. He shook jealous thoughts way, reminding himself to trust his two best friends.

Lesson 2: Practical Lessons

You and Archie were practicing putting condoms on bananas to make sure you knew how to properly protect yourself ("I do not need any nieces or nephews yet," Archie said).

"This is boring," You whined. "And not sexy at all. Is there any better way to do this?"

Archie grinned devilishly. He pulled up some videos showing you how to roll a condom onto the banana with your mouth. You were excited for the challenge, eager to look sexy and experienced.

Needless to say, your mouth was as sore as if you'd actually practiced singing.

Later that night, Jughead went to throw away a wrapper to his burger from Pop's when he found an unwrapped condom in the trash. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Dude, what is this?" Jughead asked, holding up the trash can so Archie could see.

"Uh, from me and Veronica," Archie said absentmindedly, tuning his guitar.

"Veronica hasn't been here since you and (Y/N) started rehearsing," Jughead said, suspicion growing.

"I left it in my pocket and just remembered to throw it away," Archie offered weakly.

"Dude. Gross." Jughead said, putting the trash can down.

"You know me," Archie said with a cheesy grin. "When I want it, I gotta have it."

Jughead focused in on that last statement, his trust waning.

Lesson 3: Verbal Exam

This time, Jughead had decided to ignore his agreement with you and sit outside the door. To his relief, all he could hear was your beautiful voice and Archie's guitar.

"Talking dirty is a key aspect to a good sexual experience," Archie lectured, pacing the room. "There's a fine line of what type of phrases are a turn-on and a turn off."

He turned his white board around, presenting a list of delightfully dirty phrases to be used in the bedroom. You blushed just reading them.

"You need to practice saying them so that you aren't embarrassed. Of course you shouldn't feel forced to say them, but it's more of an instinct thing," he explained. He tapped the board. "Read the first one."

Red in the face, you barely mumbled out "Fuck me hard, daddy."

Archie held a hand to his ear, rolling his eyes. "How is that gonna turn Jughead on if he can't even hear you."

You groaned. "Fuck me hard, daddy," You said, a little louder.

"What was that?"

Frustrated, you yelled out, "Fuck me hard, daddy!"

Archie grinned in satisfaction just when Jughead burst into the room, eyes feral. He grabbed his roommate by the shirt.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jughead snarled.

Archie pointed helplessly at the board, and Jughead's eyes widened in confusion. He turned to you, and you were buried in Jughead's bed, hiding in embarrassment.

You were pretty sure you'd just aged ten years.

After Archie and Jughead could coax you out from under the covers, Archie left the room and you were able to explain exactly what was going on.

"So you were getting sex tips... from Archie?" Jughead said, laughing.

"Don't laugh!" You said with a pout, crossing your arms.

"Why did you think you need sex advice?" Jughead asked.

You shrugged, looking away. "I didn't really know what to expect, and I wanted to feel prepared. We just talked about stuff! Nothing bad, I promise!"

Jughead smiled, pulling you into him. "That's really sweet, (Y/N), but you don't need to go through all that trouble. If you have any questions, just ask me. You don't need to be embarrassed. I'm the only teacher you need." He said the last line with an edge, raising his eyebrow suggestively.

You grinned, nodding in understanding.

"Not gonna lie, that 'fuck me daddy' was hot as hell," Jughead whispered, winking.

"Shut up!" You laughed and slapped his arm, getting up to let Archie into the room so that everyone could make amends.