Chapter 12

"Pasok ka . . ."

Sage and I stood awkwardly on my doorstep. Iginala niya ang kaniyang paningin na para bang pinagmamasdan niya ang aming bahay sa unang pagkakataon. Hinila ko ang kaniyang kamay at iginiya siya sa aming sala.

"I just arrived today so I haven't cleaned up everything." I shrugged and let go of his hands once we're inside.

"Nothing's changed here," komento niya. Bumagsak ang kaniyang paningin sa aking baby grand piano na may nakatakip na puting tela. Sage removed the white sheet, revealing the cracks from the day Uncle Marco tried to destroy my most precious possession.

I stared at my mother's gift. I can now afford to have the piano repaired. Heck, I could even buy dozens of them if I want to. But ever since my mother died, I lost my will to play the piano again. And staring at the baby grand piano in front of me makes my heart ache.

"D-Doon ka nalang maligo." Itinuro ko ang aming panyo. Pagak ang aking boses dahil sa mga luhang pinipigilan ko. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat. "Magtitimpla lang ako ng kape."

Sage nodded and lifted his wet shirt over his head. When he sensed my sudden discomfort earlier, he stopped and asked me what's wrong. Hindi ako nakasagot sa kaniya. Tahimik lang kaming dalawa hanggang sa magsimulang umulan. Doon pa namin napag-desisyunang umuwi galing sa talon.

I focused on preparing myself a cup of coffee instead. Rinig ko ang lagaslas ng tubig mula sa aming banyo. I waited for the water to boil and placed a pail on the floor to catch the water leaking from our roof. I still owed Sage a bottle of wine from our bet earlier but with the gloomy weather, I don't think it's possible for us to go outside when we both don't have our cars.

"Mal . . ."

Napatalon ako sa gulat habang nagtitimpla. I turned around and saw Sage with a towel—my peach towel wrapped around his waist. Tulo nang tulo ang tubig mula sa kaniyang buhok. Pinamulahan kaagad ako ng mukha sa nakita.

"B-Bakit?"

"Is this yours?" he glanced down at the towel. "I'm sorry I used it without your permission. I couldn't find anything else on the bathroom."

"Ayos lang," iniwas ko ang aking tingin at lumunok.

Iniabot ko sa kaniya ang isang mug na may lamang kape. I walked past him and closed the window to stop the harsh wind from seeping inside our house. I silently watched the raindrops rolling down our window. Ang kabayo ni Sage ay tahimik na nakalilim sa maliit na shed sa tapat ng aming bahay.

"You're going to be alone here tonight," aniya.

"It's okay." I shrugged. "I am used to living alone, Sage."

Sumimsim muna si Sage sa kaniyang kape at binalingan ako. "What if someone breaks inside this house? It's dangerous, Mal."

Tiningnan ko lamang siya. Oh, Sage. The gun is my bestfriend. He isn't aware that I have a pistol stashed on the secret pocket of my suitcase in curtesy of Gideon. He was the one who arranged the papers so I could pass the airport without getting caught.

"I'm going to be fine, Sage."

Sage chuckled to himself. Iniling-iling niya ang kaniyang ulo. "What am I supposed to do with you? You always say you're fine but we both know you're not. You always say you can do all of this by yourself, but God, you still need some help from other, Mallory. It's okay to lean to other people's shoulders, you know."

"I want to see my mom." I blurted out all of a sudden. Napatingin si Sage sa akin. Nakatitig lang ako sa kagubatan sa aming harapan. It was the same dark forest where I lost my mother. "I want to see her right now and ask for forgiveness. I wanted her to know that everything she's said is right. I wanted to go back in time and change everything. I would obey here and will never leave her. If only I have a second chance, Sage . . ."

Inilapag niya ang kaniyang kape at hinila ako na nagpagulat sa akin. Sage pulled me into a hug, his strong arms felt so good around me. Tears brimmed my eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Please, Mal . . . Please know that I'm always going to be here for you. Goddamit, I've waited four years for you, baby, and now you're pushing me away? Do you think I would allow you to leave me again?" hinagkan niya ang aking noo.

Tears silently streamed down my face. Ibinaon ko ang aking mukha sa dibdib ni Sage. I didn't even bother asking him what he's doing here in the village right now when he's supposed to govern his company. I was just glad to see him earlier. Nabawasan ang tinik sa aking puso nang malamang may babalikan pa pala ako dito.

We stayed like that for a long time while the heavy rain poured down. I'm in Sage's arm and if it isn't the most comfortable feeling in a long time, I don't know what it is. I let him hug me because I know it's what I needed the most right now.

Nang kumalas ako mula sa pagkakayakap ko kay Sage ay pinunasan niya ang mga luhang tumakas mula sa aking mata. He placed a chaste kiss on my lips and smiled down at me.

"Let's get you something to eat."

I watched him work his way in the kitchen. The muscles on his back strains with every move he makes. Kumirot ang aking puso. I shouldn't be doing this to Leon. He wouldn't be happy once he learns that I'm with Sage right now. I even slept with him for pete's sake.

Ibinagsak ko ang aking paningin sa aking mga kamay at pinisil-pisil ang aking mga daliri.

What mess have you done now, Mallory?

---

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

Iniling ko ang aking ulo. "I'm fine, Sage."

Tinitigan ko ni Sage nang matagal. Nakabihis na siya ngayon kahit medyo basa pa ang kaniyang pantalon. He stayed after dinner and helped me clean the house after.

"Just call me when something happens, okay? Malapit lang akosa inyo. Mapupuntahan kaagad kita."

Tipid ko siyang nginitian. Sage leaned to kiss me but I quickly averted my gaze. Hurt expression bled on his face when he pulled back.

"I . . ." I stammered. "I-I'm not ready for this, Sage." I shut my eyes and bit my lower lips. Ayaw ko nang dagdagan pa ang aking kasalanan kay Leon.

"It's okay. I'm going to wait until you're ready." Mahinahong wika ni Sage. Iniabot niya ang aking kamay at pinisil ito. "I've waited for four years already, Mallory. Kaya ko pang maghintay pa."

I clenched my fists to stop myself from hugging him. Tumungo ako. "Hindi ako sigurado kung may patutunguhan pa tayo, Sage."

"Mallory . . ." he tilted my chin and made me face him. He searched for my eyes. "Take as much time as you want. I'm going to be here . . . no matter what."

"But you left once." Mahina kong wika.

"What—"

"You should go home, Sage."

"Mal . . ."

"I'm tired."

"Okay, then." He took one step backwards while he's still facing me. "I'm going to be back tomorrow."

Kumunot ang aking noo sa kaniyang sinabi. "For what?"

Nginitian ako ni Sage. "Aayusin natin ang bubong ng bahay niyo."

Those words. Those simple words. Sobrang kumirot ang puso ko sa kaniyang sinabi. Tinitigan ko nang matagal si Sage. He waved a little before he approached his horse and swung his leg over it. Nakatingin pa rin sa akin si Sage habang sakay na siya ng kaniyang kabayo.

"Get some sleep, Mal."

And with that, he disappeared into the forest with his horse.

I rushed inside and grabbed my phone. Kaagad kong tinawagan si Leon. He answered on the second ring.

"Mallory—"

"Leon!" I cried.

"Mallory? What's wrong?" I could even hear the sudden concern in his voice.

I sobbed on the other line. "Leon . . ."

"Ayos ka lang ba? May nangyari ba sa iyo? Please tell me . . ."

Mas lalo akong napaiyak sa kaniyang boses. "I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry, Leon . . ." I sobbed harder.

"Sorry? For what?"

"I'm sorry . . ." my lips trembled so bad. Iniangat ko ang aking tingin kung saan nakatayo si Sage kanina at napahagulhol. "Please forgive me, Leon."