SasuNaru but with friendship au.

Lots of swearing in this one! Don't swear kids, it's filthy.

Enjoy...

***

Hinata squealed and jumped away from her table as a dust cloud approached and stormed into it. Everything that was on the table scattered here and there, some even flew across the cafeteria, but the dust cloud kept on advancing.

"Shannaro!" Sakura cursed as the dust cloud forced herself and Ino to separate from walking side by side to the cafeteria. "Naruto!" She along with Ino yelled angrily.

"Why do you always pick fights with Sasuke-kun?!" Ino squawked but the dust cloud was not listening. By the time her and Sakura's lectures were done, they had walked to the cafeteria to grab a quick bite before moving to their next class only to find out that the place was even rowdier than when there was a food rush.

Both girls didn't need to think too hard to know the cause of the commotion; Naruto and Sasuke. Both were from the mechanical engineering department but they never saw eye to eye, never. They were always insulting each other and fighting for reasons nobody understood.

Of course everyone pegged the trouble making down to Naruto, he was the lousiest guy on campus after all. Sasuke on the other hand was more reserved but the ability to hold back always seemed to be lost whenever Naruto was involved.

"What the hell dudes?!" Kiba cursed as he crashed onto the floor and face planted in his food. He had been trying to avoid the dust cloud which, in case you haven't figured out, was Naruto and Sasuke fighting but there was really nowhere to escape to. Those MFs were everywhere!

Some people were encouraging them to fight while the others were steering clear of the way of the two brawlers. Punches were thrown, faces were smashed, clothes were torn and bruises were formed but the boys never stopped fighting.

That was until the authoritative voice of their course rep reached their ears.

"Enough!"

Sasuke and Naruto stopped immediately but didn't let go of the other's shirt. Blue and onyx eyes met with forest green as the blond woman stalked towards them in big intimidating strides.

"Are you challenging me, Uchiha, Uzumaki?" Temari, the course rep's voice grew cold along with the atmosphere. Sasuke and Naruto let go of each other immediately albeit grudgingly. "On your knees and raise your arms." The titania commanded, earning indignant squawks from the injured young men.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Naruto barked.

"What am I, eight?!" Sasuke scoffed.

Temari stalked closer and the cafeteria was freezing. Temari from the engineering department was not one to be messed with and if she asks you to kneel and raise your hands like a five year old even if you're twenty, you've got to fucking do it! "Did I stutter?"

Both raised their hands and got on their knees in the midst of the crowd which was embarrassing because Hinata, who had caught Naruto's interest, was there to witness everything. Other fuckers could go to hell but he didn't want to ruin his image to Hinata. Unfortunately, Sasuke had to be a cunt and Temari-senpai, the mother of all asses and now his reputation was ruined.

Sasuke on the other hand was floored with humiliation. Unlike Naruto, he cared a lot about what he did in public than he liked to admit so kneeling and raising his hands like a freaking child in the midst of all university students going and coming was a big deal. Worse, Sakura was mad at him.

"I leave you alone for five minutes, five effing minutes! And look what you turned the damn cafe into!" Temari gestured angrily at the thrashed cafeteria.

"It ain't my fucking fault Sausage here was being just that- a dick!" Naruto retorted only to have Temari yanking his golden locks harshly. "Ouch!" He yelped.

"You better shut your mouth Uzumaki or I'd make your dick into stew and feed it through your nose. Trust me, I would." Temari threatened. Naruto gulped because she actually would, and he feared for his genitals.

"Yes ma'am."

"You both are idiots!" Temari released his hair thankfully in favour of pacing around in frustration.

"I had nothing to do with this shit-!" Sasuke began but the harsh glare sent his way froze his words.

"Mah mah Temari, don't be too harsh on them." A lazy voice made its way into their hearing.

"Professor Kakashi!" The girl gasped at the sight of the silver haired man walking towards them. "But these two..." Kakashi placed a hand on her shoulder and Sasuke decided that he didn't like the look on his godfather's face too much. Naruto also didn't because his sun kissed skin was pale already.

"Don't worry Temari, I have the perfect punishment for them." The mischief the professor radiated could be smelled in the air.

-

"Fuck. My. Life."

"Fucking kill me."

Sasuke and Naruto were currently standing in front of a very amused looking Kakashi. That scumbag! Both men were wearing pink t-shirts that had bold 'BEST FRIENDS FOREVER' prints in gold on them.

"Really Kakashi, pink?!" Sasuke asked incredulously.

"The fuck do I have to wear this?! How long have you prepared this shit for?!" Naruto mirrored his enemy's incredulity. "And why the hell am I stuck to him?!" He spat the last word out like a disease.

You see, they were really stuck together literally. With handcuffs. Kakashi swallowed the key much to their horror so stealing it was not an option unless they wanted to force him to shit it out. Then all's left is who'd dig through the turd for the key.

Kakashi ignored them and pulled out some papers instead. They both recognised it as their grade compilation for the semester. "Now I have some rules for you."

"Wait hold on a damn minute...why is my student file here?" Sasuke asked.

"Rule number one, as long as you're not alone I don't want to hear any possessive pronouns from any of you." Kakashi ignored the raven. "Words like I, my and mine are forbidden otherwise I deduct a mark from your grade per word."

"What?! What the fuck?! What am I supposed to say then?!" Naruto yelled.

"I can't believe I'm siding the dobe but what Kakashi?!" Sasuke snarled.

"Number two, as long as you're not alone I don't want any of you swearing. Penalty for that is two marks deducted from your grades." Kakashi ignored them again. "Which means Naruto, three points are gone from your grades and Sasuke, four from yours."

"Aw you can't be fu-" Naruto cut himself off. "-frosting serious, Kakashi sensei!"

"Did I stutter?" The argument on the boys' lips died immediately. "Good. Don't try to break the cuffs. Consider it a straight F if you do." Naruto had half a mind to challenge the professor but he remembered his scary mum and grandma and what they always did whenever he came home with an F that was not well explained.

Yeah no. Not trying to break it.

Sasuke and Naruto left Kakashi's presence. "So what are we going to do now, teme?" Naruto asked.

"Two points, Naruto." Kakashi's voice sounded from the office.

"That counts?!" Naruto yelled incredulously.

"Hn, dobe." Sasuke scoffed.

"Two points, Sasuke."

"Shit." Sasuke whispered but Kakashi heard it.

"Four points."

-

"Let's go." Sasuke sighed after trying to tell Kakashi that 'dobe' wasn't a swear word in vain. Fortunately Naruto didn't argue like a he normally would so they started moving only to be stopped by painful tugs on their wrists. "What?!" Sasuke groaned.

"Ow!" Naruto yelped. The handcuffs dug into the skin of their wrists as they tried to walk different paths. The blond scowled at the raven. "We are going this way!" He pointed to the left where his dorm was.

"No, we are going this way!" Sasuke yanked the cuffs and subsequently Naruto towards the right where his apartment was. The blond hissed with pain but that didn't stop him from yanking Sasuke back.

"This way!"

Sasuke pulled him back. "That way!"

"What are you guys doing?" The raspy voice of their insomniac friend in the art department reached their ears, prompting them to turn around.

"Gaara!" They acknowledged the redhead whose hairless eyebrow was raised in...was that amusement on Gaara's face?! The dude never even got aroused talk less amused! The frick?!

"Best friends forever." Their friend read out loud. "You look good in pink."

"Was that supposed to be an attempt at humour? Because it wasn't funny." Sasuke deadpanned.

"I'm just glad it wasn't Sai that found us." Naruto shook his head.

"One point for Naruto." Gaara suddenly whipped out his phone and started texting somebody, never minding the profound looks on his friend's face.

"Wha- wah- you're in on this shit too?!" Naruto balked.

"Make that three points." Gaara murmured and typed it down. "For every swear word or possessive language I hear you guys speak, I get marks added to my GPA. Sorry guys, I'm going to use you to boost my grades." The traitor explained.

"Don't tell me everyone is in on this?!" Sasuke asked suspiciously.

"Everyone in our friend group and one point for Sasuke, making four points for me." Gaara included that to his memo with an uncharacteristic wolfish grin. Shivers wracked down both Sasuke and Naruto's spines at the unfamiliarity of Gaara's smile.

"Dob-Naruto, let's go." Sasuke shuddered.

"Two more for Sas-"

"That doesn't count, you motherfu-" Sasuke's words trailed off with a fffffff sound as he struggled not to strangle his red haired friend. Said man's fingers hovered on his phone's screen in awaiting for the swear word to drop. "Ffffudge cake!" The raven finished with a growl.

"Come on, let's get out of here before he sucks our GPA dry." Naruto was met with no resistance as he dragged Sasuke away to his dorm.

"You are packing your stuff and moving to my apartment." The announcement stopped Naruto dead in his tracks.

"Why the fuck would I do that?!" He yelled.

"Because my apartment is better than your dorm room and I don't have pesky roommates that would breathe down my neck waiting for me to swear or say something's mine!" Naruto hated to admit it but Sasuke had a ledge over him.

The raven rented an apartment outside campus rather than stay in the dorms because he was loaded and could do so. Fucking show off.

"Fine." Naruto grumbled.

The both of them went to Naruto's dorm where Sasuke was forced to help the blond pack up because of the cuffs. They didn't need to pack that much things so they just stuffed Naruto's clothes into his suitcase along with toiletries and basic stuff like that. Then they were off to Sasuke's sleek car.

Even though Naruto hated Sasuke, he really adored the black beauty that was the raven's car. It was so perfect, it'll even be more perfect if it were orange! "Don't drool on my car, dobe." Sasuke's stupid voice snapped him out of his fanboying daze. Naruto scowled. Stupid teme.

They put the luggage in the trunk and Sasuke dragged them to the drivers seat only for him to realise that Kakashi had cuffed him to the right side, meaning, he could not drive his baby! "You're kidding." He could almost cry. This meant that he could either rent a designated driver's service or leave Naruto to drive. He didn't want to do both!

His whiskered course mate was already tearing his mouth open with a wide grin as he stretched his hand out like a child demanding for something. His fingers wriggled achingly for the keys, the keys! The keys to this beautiful car! "Gimme, gimme, gimmie." He chanted.

"Hell no! There's no way I'm trusting you with her, Uzumaki!" Sasuke his the keys behind his back like that'll do anything.

"I'd take good care of her, I promise!" Naruto begged and whined until Sasuke finally gave in and handed over the keys. "Yes! You're not the man, man!" The blond cheered and opened the car.

Sasuke got in through the driver's seat into the passenger's first before Naruto followed.

"Smooth!" The whiskered boy's hands roamed over the dashboard and leather seats but Sasuke slapped one and yanked the other.

"Don't get your filthy hands over my car, dobe!"

"Sheesh alright!" Naruto grumbled. Sasuke's hand had to hang because of the cuffs that linked his and Naruto's hands together but other than that, the drive to his apartment was a hell ride! The dobe kept surpassing speed limits and didn't take Sasuke's directions to the tee which was why they ended up circling Konoha twice before they finally got to the apartment which wasn't even that far from the campus!

Moving in was done with an argument of course because the horror of having to share one room, one closet, one bathroom and one bed set in.

"Shit." Sasuke cursed his life. "Shit." He cursed the dobe. "Shit." He cursed Kakashi. "Shit!" He got an idea! "Dobe, come here." Without waiting for as much as an answer the raven pulled Naruto into the toilet and stood in front of the sink.

"What the hell, teme?!" Naruto complained, rubbing his pink wrist as he did so.

"I do not want to share a bed with you so let's get this shit off!" Sasuke practically growled and shoved soap into his hands. Naruto quickly got the idea but he was not taking that insult sitting down.

"I don't want to share a bed with you either, jerkface!"

"Hn."

They both watered their cuffed hands and began to lather it furiously in hopes that it would be slippery enough for the cuff to slide off. They tugged and pulled and soaped and grunted and gritted their teeth but the damned thing only seemed to be getting tighter the further it slipped down their wrists!

"Damn you Kakashi!" Sasuke punched the wall next to him in frustration. Their wrists were now red with sores and friction.

"I want to shit." Naruto suddenly announced.

"Ah?!" Sasuke asked profoundly.

"I. Want. To. Shit." Naruto repeated, dragging them over to the toilet bowl and unbuckling his belt at the same time. "You know, take a dump? Number two? The great turd? The-"

"I know what shitting is!" Sasuke snapped. "You can't shit here!"

"Why the hell not?!" Naruto balked.

"What the hell am I supposed to do when you're shitting, sit next to the toilet bowl and inhale toxic gas?!" Sasuke vehemently shook his head. "Keep it in."

"What?! Don't be acting like you've never shitted in your life! I really need to go man!" Naruto dragged them again but Sasuke pulled back. "I'd shit on the floor, so help me I would!"

That was what got Sasuke to be in his current situation; nose stuffed with toilet paper and sitting on the floor as far away as the cuffs allowed. Only, the horrible smell and the even more horrid sounds got past the toilet papers he stuffed himself with, causing the poor guy to gag.

"The fuck did you eat?!"

"Oh shit I think that ramen was expired." Naruto pushed with a grunt while Sasuke was on the borderline of passing out. "Yep. I'm sure that ramen was expired."

***

Part two or not?

Thanks for reading!