Anko's POV~

It took me all of two seconds to realize why he was so nervous, why his friends(and teammates) were so protective over him, and why they didn't trust me as far as they could throw me.

My first thought went like this: I'm going to kill Minato-teme and Kushina-baka.

My second went like this: If the Nara hadn't already adopted you, I would've signed the papers right now.

My third: I am going to be the best damn big sister/sensei this kid will ever have. Ever.

"I honestly couldn't care less that you have a giant over-grown flea-bag in your gut. In fact, we're quite similar in some ways." I said, devouring another stick of dango. "The villagers treat us both like shit for things we had no control over. Of course, I don't have a demon sealed in me and instead, they hate me for my sensei who started experimenting on kids and eventually became a traitor to the village."

"So you don't hate me?" He asked, bright blue eyes looking at me hopefully.

"There's not a chance in hell I could hate you, Kiddo." I smiled(not smirked, smiled). "Plus I've always wanted to have a little brother... If you don't mind, that is."

"I would really like that... Anko-nee."

"You just became my third favorite person," Hinata remarked, addressing me. "But only because you're nice to Naruto-kun."

"Agreed." Shikamaru nodded, his arms crossed and his eyes closed.

"Ah! Right! My name is Uzumaki Naruto. My strengths are elemental Jutsu and Fuinjutsu(Sealing). My weaknesses are Genjutsu and Chakra Control. My favorite Jutsu is the Adamantine Sealing Chains Jutsu." The adorable redhead said, no longer cautious of me.

"Well, I'm glad that we're all on the same page now," I said, grinning widely. "But know that I will not go easy on you. I will run you into the ground, train you till you drop. You will likely come to dread the next time the sun rises. But I will whip you into shape to ensure you don't die on your first C-Rank turned A-Ranked mission."

"We don't expect any less, Anko-sensei." My three minions chorused.

This is going to be the best team in history - they will become the Second Coming of the Densetsu no Sannin(Three Legendary Shinobi) by the time they're Jounin. I swore mentally, leading my new team to Training Grounds 44 - my home-away-from-home, the Shiki no Mori(Forest of Death).

This is going to be so fun.

~

After a test purely for show, I had a heart attack.

The new Sannin by Jounin? Hell, these kids are already the next generation of Sannin! I thought to myself, looking at the new-and-improved Forest of Death. Oh, how I love these kids!

~

I stood in front of Minato-teme, mentally killing him in many different slow and violent ways.

"I recommend my team for a C-Rank, Hokage-sama," I spoke clearly, not letting any amount of malice slip into my voice.

"Are you sure Anko? You don't want them to take any D-Ranks first?" Minato-teme asked worriedly, sending "discreet" looks at my team(mostly Naru-chan).

"I am absolutely positive, Hokage-sama," I replied, no small amount of annoyance in my tone. "My team requires no teamwork exercises or D-Ranks. They are perfectly ready for a C-Rank."

"Well... Alright, if you insist."

Damn right I do, you motherfucking-

"Tazuna-san, please come in!" Minato-teme called out, and a drunk old bastard came through the door.

"This is the elite team of ninja that's supposed to be protecting me?" He slurred, taking another swig of the cheap ass sake in his hand. "The red-head looks like a doormat, the brunette looks too lazy to stay awake, the little girl looks like a weakling, and the woman looks like a slut- "

I threw a kunai at his crotch, missing his balls by a hair, and Hinata had extended her arm - a blade of pure chakra pointed at his face. The man practically pissed himself.

"Y-You better protect me with your lives!" He squealed.

"If you insult my team/my sensei and teammates ever again, you'll have to hire another team of ninja to protect you from me!" Hinata and I snarled at the same time. He fled from the room in tears.

Minato-teme sighed, mumbling a "Why do I even try?" under his breath.

"Alright, my minions! Pack for a month-long trip, bring all of your weapons and meet me at the village gates in twenty. Move out!" I ordered. My team saluted me, Shunshining away in a tornado(Naruto), shadows(Shikamaru), and glowing mist(Hinata). I smiled fondly after them, disappearing in my own fire Shunshin.

Kami, I love these kids so much.

~

I ignored Tazuna's rambling and surveyed our surroundings. We've been on the road for two hours and this guy just doesn't. Stop. Talking!

I spotted a puddle down the road - seriously, it hasn't rained in a week! - and discreetly signaled my minions.

My team discreetly got into a defensive formation. Hinata behind the client, Shikamaru standing next to the client and talking to him and Naruto in front. I walked to the left of them.

Naruto, being the arrowhead of the formation, decided to prank the enemy ninja by stomping in the puddle they were disguised as.

Once our group passed by the puddle, the ninja - Nuke-nin from Kiri - appeared and wrapped me up in chains.

"One little piggy." They said, ripping a log to shreds as I Kawarimi'd to escape. I leaned against the trunk of a tree, letting my insanely strong minions take out the Demon Brothers Gozu and Meizu.

Naruto's POV~

Shika stayed back to protect the client with his shadows while Hinata-hime and I went for the enemy shinobi. My beautiful girlfriend(no one but Shika and Anko knows) assaulted her target with a raiton-enhanced Eight Trigrams 64 Palms that paralyzed and electrocuted him.

I, however, used my silver Adamantine Sealing Chains to restrain my target and remove his arms so he couldn't perform any Jutsu.

"Just tell me why you're after the old man and I won't sell you out to Kiri," I said, hoping he would say no so I could try out a new interrogation technique Anko-nee taught us.

"Never! Even if you don't sell me out, you'll kill me and collect my bounty!" He snarled.

"Hehehehehe..." I laughed evilly. "Wrong answer!"

~

Several minutes later, I came out of the trees with a grin on my face.

"So~ These guys, along with Momochi Zabuza, were hired by a man named Gato to kill the bridge builder," I said, looking at Tazuna. "Care to tell us why?"

*insert Tazuna's sob story here*

"Well, I wanted to try out my Kenjutsu style on a real swordsman, so why not one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist?" Shika said, fingering the hilt of his blade.

Anko-nee shrugged.

"Well, it's not like you guys are the best damn genin team in konoha or anything..." The violet-haired woman drawled sarcastically. We grinned at her.

"Hell yeah!" I crowed, pumping a first in the air. "To Nami no Kuni!"