Part 15

“She has been broken.” Someone announced as I distantly drift back to the surface.

“I don’t know, Verge. It just seems like she’s sleeping –a lot.” A second voice replied, but there was an equally worried tone in that voice.

“She is not physically broken, but mentally. Her body heals, but her mind is shattered.” The first voice replied softly, as if the words hurt him to say it aloud. I distantly understand that they are talking about me, but the rest of me just reels and my world simply spins.

“What exactly happened? I’ve never seen you lose yourself. It must be the first time I see your demon control you. It didn’t even happen when you tried to stop me from getting Sparda’s power.”

There was a long moment of silence. I adamantly keep my eyes closed, because somehow, my mind convinces me that if I open my eyes, my fantasy will disappear, and I will be back in that room again, watching sunlight filter through the window. I will have that false hope again, and I would never break free. My mind convinces me that I’m dreaming up a conversation between Dante and Vergil in my head, and I believe it wholeheartedly.

“She was captured because of me. She means much more to us than we know.” The first voice, belonging to Vergil, admitted.

“What do you mean by that?” Dante’s curious voice replied quickly, as if he had never entertained the thought ever before.

Wow. Even in my fantasy, Dante didn’t think so highly of me. This dream-Dante was totally a mirror reflection of the real one.

“I heard her demon screaming when I went in to get her. The only reason I got to her was because Virgil awakened and cried out for Lily.” Vergil replied, but Dante’s response was almost immediate.

“Whoa, whoa. Back up for a little bit. Who’s ‘Virgil’ and ‘Lily’? And how are they related to Leah?”

Wow. Even in my fantasy, Dante was as daft as the real Dante. Like I said before; a real mirror reflection.

“Virgil is my demonic side. Lily is Leah’s demonic side. Like Etnad is yours.” Vergil stated simply, and it seemed to take a while for things to sink in, both for me and dream-Dante. I wasn’t sure if dream-Dante had thoughts of his own, but I would assume that he had, for the sake of keeping my fantasy as real as possible. I understood this was a way my disillusioned mind was dealing with my long capture and torture, but I probably would have fared better in a fantasy that was less technical and more… fantasy-like.

God-damn it, they were fantasies for a reason.

“You’re kidding. The last time I saw Leah alive and well, she pretty much struck me fully human. Don’t tell me she was changed, because I don’t recall knowing or hearing about anyone who was changed into a demon.” Dream-Dante said in an incredulous tone, and would have agreed with him wholeheartedly… save the fact that Lily had really been talking to me, and tearing my mind apart with her incessant screaming.

“Yes, but you forgot the fact that she has always been stronger and faster than the average human. We couldn’t sense anything demonic from her, perhaps because of the fact that it had always been dormant within her.” Vergil reasoned, and I heard movements.

The dream-bed I was sleeping in sank a little at the added weight, and I felt a warm presence at my side. Was it Dante or Vergil?

“You’re trying to tell me that Leah’s been a half-demon all this while, but kept her demon side away from us?” Dante asked, but his voice sounded where he had been, so it must be Vergil sitting on the bed beside me. But why would he? Vergil usually couldn’t be bothered with me, unless it was about Sasha or Leon.

“Rather, she has been human all this while until the demons woke up her demonic side, Lily. That’s why she’s so broken now. The brief awakening of Lily tore her apart internally.” Vergil said –sounding exactly beside me –and with his words was the feel of a warm hand touching my forehead, stroking my cold cheeks. I hadn’t been aware of how cold I was until the warm fingers brushed past my cheeks, bringing a flare of comforting warmth.

“But this ‘Lily’ isn’t awake now? Trish is also demon too; then why did ‘Lily’ not make Leah lose her mind?” Dante echoed my internal questions, and I marveled at Dante’s ability to think through his devil-may-care brain. Maybe he really cared for me? I held on to a glimmer of hope that my favorite Dmc character cared about me enough to ask questions concerning my well-being.

“Virgil made Lily sleep. I am also trying to understand why Lily didn’t awaken at Trish’s presence. But I know one thing for sure –Lily is related to us somehow.” Vergil reasoned as fingers stroked my cheeks gently.

“Um… Vergil?” Dante suddenly sounded unsure, and the fingers on my skin stilled.

“Yes?”

“I always had the impression that you didn’t like Leah around… so why are you so concerned about her? And are you doing what I think you are doing?” Dante asked the billion dollar question for me, and even though I was in a dream, I held my breath to listening out to Vergil’s answer. Quite frankly, this was the first time I’ve truly heard Vergil speak about me so gently, and I was curious as hell.

“Dante, Lily is our sister.” Vergil continued as if his twin brother hadn’t asked about his suddenly interest and concern in me. “She means more to us than we initially thought.”

There was a longer moment of silence this time as Dante took the time to process that information through his slow, rarely-used brain.

“I don’t recall a time in our childhood where Eva was relatively pregnant, Verge. And I definitely would know if I had a sister.”

Vergil only chuckled softly, in which I couldn’t decide if there was a mocking tone to it or not.

“If you were there with me, Dante, you wouldn't say such words. Virgil practically screamed ‘sister’ when I went in to get her. Lily was screaming for us to save her, to save Leah, when I awakened Virgil. Had you triggered Etnad within you, you would have heard our sister’s desperate cries.”

In my defense, from where I had been –and probably still was –sitting in the room where sunlight filtered through the window, Lily had been the one who screamed for help, not me.

“But how is it possible? Unless Sparda had another child outside of our family…?” Dante asked weakly, as if he couldn’t believe of his own father’s infidelity. Oh, how Sparda would be rolling in hell if he heard his son doubting him!

The hand that had been stroking my cheek was gone by now, but I felt as the same hands gently took my limp one, as if Vergil needed the physical touch.

“I am murky on the details too, but what I have managed to pick up these few days is that Lily is creation from both Eva and Sparda, but was cursed by Mundus to be fully demon. Mundus wanted Mother to die before she could give birth to Lily… but we managed to see her through life until…” Vergil lost words, and I was reminded by how painful it must be for both sons of Sparda to talk about how their mother died.

That incident of Eva’s death must have been the turning point in their lives. I knew that Dante blamed himself for not being able to save his mother, and even without asking, I knew in kind that Vergil felt the same. If anything, Vergil felt it twice as much, being the elder one of the two –and naturally the one more responsible in keeping the family safe.

“So Lily was never born, but is somehow locked inside Leah, who dropped down on us from another world… How?” Dante asked, seemingly to have followed his brother’s explanation quite well –quite surprisingly, too.

“I don’t know.” Vergil said simply. “But what I want right now is for Leah to be alright.”

“You care for her, don’t you?”

Vergil was silent.

“So your way of telling her you care all along was to push her away?” Dante asked again, regaining his teasing tone.

Vergil remained silent.

“You know; you convinced her fully that you don’t like her at all. How are you going to turn things around?” Dante teased, and still Vergil remained silent. My heartbeat picked up despite myself. Was it true that Vergil cared for me?

Wait, why was I getting excited? This was pointless, just a figment of my imagination. I’d just made everything up, because my mind was trying to escape reality.

Right?

“Leah?” Vergil asked suddenly, and he suddenly seemed to sound very close to me. The hands cradling mine tightened a little. “Leah, are you awake?”

I tried to venture in giving him a reply, but it seemed as if my preparation for action was overtaken by someone else. Something else.

Lily.

Kill. Kill. Revenge. Hate. Anger. Kill. Kill.

She was back at her chanting again, trying to come closer to the surface, and for some reason, it hurt doubly harder in my mind.

I distantly hear myself screaming, distantly feel myself curling up in a ball and trying to force her out. Lily refused to budge, for letting her loose for so long the past week had allowed her to gain a stronghold in my mind.

“I can feel her!” I hear Dante exclaim faraway, but Lily hurts me too much.

I scream, and black out again.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The door opens. I look up and see a familiar figure. I try to remember his name, but I cannot. My eyes drink him in, trying to commit him to memory.

His eyes are blue, a soft blue of the deep ocean. I don't know how I knew that the deep ocean is blue.

I don't know many things.

I find his silver-white hair very mesmerizing, but my eyes focus on his strong features. He has a strong jaw, and it fits his well-toned body. He has the body of a supermodel. I also don’t know how I know that a supermodel has a hot body.

I don’t know many things.

He tries to smile at me, but it comes out pained. I understand that he is trying to smile for me, but something about me makes him lose that smile. I don’t know why.

I don’t know many things.

He carries a bowl with him and he sits on the bed beside me as I watch him, leaning against the headboard. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. I only know I woke up, and I seemed to have forgotten everything. I remember he keeps asking me if I’m alright, if I remember anything. I didn’t reply…because I don’t know how to reply him.

I don’t know many things.

I look at the contents of the bowl as he offers it to me. It seems like thick… porridge. I don’t know how I know that it is porridge.

I don’t know many things.

“Eat something. You need to eat something.” He urges, and I gingerly take the bowl from his hands on instinct. His words doesn’t process in my mind as I stare at him with wide eyes. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know many things.

“You need to eat something, Leah.” He repeated again, sounding pained this time. He added another word this time, but I don’t know what it means. Is he calling me?

I look down at the bowl again, and ventured taking the handle of the spoon between my fingers. It feels right in my hand. I take a spoonful of porridge and put it in my mouth on instinct. It tastes good.

I smile despite myself. I don’t know why I’m so happy all of a sudden.

I don’t know many things.

He smiles too, finally losing the pained look on his face. Something has made him happy. But what?

I finish the porridge quickly, and he took the bowl away from me, placing it on the table beside the bed.

“How are you feeling?” He asked again, the same concerned light in his blue eyes.

I try to process his words in my mind, but nothing conclusive comes out of it. I don’t understand him. I stare back at him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know ‘how I am feeling’.

I don’t know many things.

By now, he seems expectant of my reaction. He catches my hands softly in his and raise them up. He meets my eyes.

“You need to be strong, Leah. I don’t know what I can do for you. I’ve never been so… helpless since Eva died. Please.” He begs, and I continue to stare at him. Nothing he says makes sense to me, but he looks pained. I blink dumbly a few times.

He sighs heavily, losing eye contact as if he didn’t have the strength to go on anymore. I think he looks very defeated. I don’t know why.

I don’t know many things.

“Please wake up again, Leah. We’re all worried for you. Trish, Dante and Lady. Even the kid Nero called to ask about you. Sasha wanted me to bring her to see you. Leon has been crying to see you.” He continues, and finally something breaks through the murky surface.

I suddenly know what to do. I ventured opening my mouth and letting a breath of air out my mouth. Something weird sounds out, but I think it is me. I try to mimic him, letting more breath out.

“L-Lee-on.”

The image of a young boy fills my mind. I heard distant happy laughter and I smile. I don’t know why I am suddenly so happy, but I like the sound of that laughter. I don’t know why I see a mental image of a boy, but I happy to see his smiling face.

I don’t know many things.

“Leah?” He asks with a surprised look. His blue eyes are wide.

“Lee-on.” I repeat, smiling even brighter. I remember something. I remember someone. Leon. I hear the young laughter, the giggling.

“Do you want to see Leon?” He asked, and I looked at him blankly.

“See…… Lee-on?” I mimicked unsurely, and he nods, a fire suddenly burning in his eyes. He looks like someone has just given him a big present. I don’t know why.

“Yes. Do you want to see him?” He dips his head down once, as if to confirm.

I mimic him again, dipping my head down once. “Lee-on.”

He grins now, and I like it. He is prettier when he grins. His teeth are white and pretty.

“I’ll go get Leon. He will be elated to see you.” He grabs the bowl from the table and jumps to his feet, making for the door.

I open my mouth again, forcing air out. I shape my mouth differently this time as I venture something else.

“V-Ver… Ver-gil.”

He jerks to a stop, spinning around to stare at me with wide eyes. I blink blankly back. I don’t know why he is staring at me.

I don’t know many things.

“Did you just call me?” He asks, but I don’t really understand what he’s saying.

“Ver-gil.” I repeated.

“Yes, yes. You’re getting better now, Leah. Just hold on. I’ll watch over you.” He reassured, and for some reason, I suddenly seem to understand what he means.

I smile widely at him.

“Vergil.”

His name is sweet on my lips.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

The young boy runs into the room, and I smile. I know his name. I know who he is.

“Leon.” I say with a smile, and despite his unfamiliarity of the surrounding, I watch as he heads towards my voice. Back in the doorway, I hear someone warn him to be careful.

“Leon.” I repeated again, glad that his name was still etched in my mind. Seeing the young boy and hearing his happy voice calling me ‘Miss Leah’, it filled me with a strange warmth in my heart that I’d totally missed. The young boy climbed up the side of the bed, then felt his way towards me. Small hands reached my arms and took that as a guide as he sat beside me.

“Miss Leah, are you alright? I’ve been so worried about you! I’m so sorry for what you had gone through!” He exclaimed, but it doesn’t sink in through my mind. Ever since Vergil left to get Leon, my mind had been slightly clearer, but still murky. I feel like I’m breathing underwater, and if I come up to the surface, something is waiting there, waiting to torture me.

This murky underwater view of my life was a way I was escaping the torture… and I was fine with it.

“Miss Leah?” Leon asked again, small hands feeling for me as if to make sure that I was still there. I take his hands in mine on instincts, but don’t reply… because I don’t know how to.

Vergil walks into the room again, and I smile brightly at him. I remember his name, finally. He comes in with a woman. Her face is very familiar, but I cannot put a name to that face. I look at her curiously, not knowing what she was doing in the room. Did she want to talk to me? Do I know her? I feel like I do.

“Leon, Miss Leah is… sick. She don’t remember many things.” Vergil said to the young boy, and I tried to make sense of his words, but find none. For some reason, in my murky little world, I just pick out names. I pick out faces and expressions and feelings. But words make no sense to me. I don’t know why.

The woman’s eyes begin to water as she stares at me, an expression of pure pain hanging on her face. I tilt my head a little curiously. What could have possibly made her cry?

She covers her face in her hands and turns quickly from where she came from. She runs off, but I heard sobs as footsteps hurry away from the door. I turn my curious look to Vergil, who looks almost equally pained.

“Ver-gil?” I asked. He somehow seems to understand my question. I don’t know why I ask him, because I know I won’t understand his reply. I only understand by looking at expressions. I don’t understand what anyone is saying.

“Mama? What happened to Mama, Papa?” I hear the young boy ask, but it is like he is speaking an alien language.

“Miss Leah… is broken inside, Leon. Your mama’s heart breaks at seeing her in such a sad state.” Vergil replies, but I ignore the words as he steps into the room with an obvious sigh, leaving the door half-open. He takes his usual seat, and reaches to take my hand. He always does this, talking to me like he has so many things to tell me.

“Papa?” Leon asks, as I smile at the hands holding mine. His fingers are warm –just the same type of warm that fills me when I hear Leon’s cheerful voice.

“Yes, Leon.” I see that Vergil is absently replying the young child as his eyes are steadily on me. I reach my other free hand towards his face, but he captures it quickly and brings both my hands in his.

“Mama told me that you’re going to leave us for a woman. Is it going to be Miss Leah?”

Leon must have said something shocking I don’t understand, because suddenly Vergil’s eyes on me are broken and I find him looking at the young boy at my side with shock in his eyes. Worried, I look at the young boy too, but there seems to be nothing wrong with him.

“Sasha told you that I’m going to leave? When was this?” Vergil’s voice was hard, and it must have frightened the young boy so, for I felt the young child flinch beside me. Even though I didn’t know what was happening, I knew this boy would rather be hurt than hurt anyone.

I withdrew my hands from Vergil’s, and wrapped arms around the young child, hoping that I could bring my point across to him that he would find solidarity with me.

“Mama… told me that you will leave for a woman you love next time. She told me to understand that you don’t love her, but you have too much love in your heart to let us of in the dangerous world. When you find someone you love, Mama and I will have to let you go happily.” Leon sounded afraid as he explained himself back to Vergil, but I tightened arms around the young boy, trying to give Vergil a glare when I watched his expression grew more troubled and perplexed.

“How could Sasha have said those things to you? You’re just three!” Vergil exclaimed, scaring the young boy even more.

I wanted badly to do something, but I didn’t know what to. I didn’t know what to say, what to do to make things between Vergil and Leon better.

“He needs to learn, Vergil.” A new voice came in, and I turned to see the woman from before standing at the door. Her eyes are still tearing, but there is a hard expression on her face.

“I’m not leaving you or Leon, Sasha. I promised.” Vergil stood up, turning his back on us as I drew Leon closer to me. I understood somehow that the air was heavier now, and not only was I protecting Leon, Leon was protecting me too.

“You promised to watch over me and my son. That was all. No one promised about you staying. No one promised about you having a major part in my or my son’s life.” The woman Sasha replied fiercely as she stepped into the room, her eyes strictly on Vergil. Leon began to tremble, understanding the cause of the fight, but I held on tight to him.

“You didn’t seem to have any problems about it the past three and a half years.” Vergil replied, equally hard in tone now.

“Maybe that was because I needed the support and protection? Maybe because I didn’t want to be discriminated against for being a single mother?” Sasha seemed to challenge, and Leon buried his face at my side, pressing hands over his ears.

“Then let me continue giving you and Leon support. I know I haven’t been a great father, but I’ve watched Leon grow. I care for him. I care for what happens to him and you.”

“Then if you care, you will understand that I care too! I care about you, Vergil. I care about you enough to know that you’re using me and Leon to protect yourself from loving Leah, and I will not allow that! You need to love someone someday, Vergil, and make your own family. We are your family, but not one that you made.” Sasha declared, shouting now. Leon made a soft whimper, shaking his head as if he didn’t want to hear more of his parents arguing.

“I promised your husband and Leon’s father that I would watch over the both of you. I will not fail the dying wish of a man.” Vergil declared, but Sasha shook her head.

“You’re doing a perfect job, Vergil. Now, I need to see that I’m not a burden to you. I need to see that other than your job and us, you have something to live for. That person is Leah! You like her, Vergil. Why don’t you ever tell her? Why use us to hide your feelings?” Sasha threw up her hands, but it seemed like Vergil had suddenly lost as the aura of anger left just like that.

“Because…” He said, tired of the argument. “Because I don’t dare to. You don’t know many things about me, Sasha. I am a son of Sparda. Demons are constantly after my life. I don’t dare to make a family, because they’ll destroy my family before I know it. It is precisely I love Leah that things have come to this. Look at her. Her current state… it is because of demons.”

It happened suddenly. Like a pair of mufflers that had been lifted from my ears, I suddenly heard every word loud and clear, their meaning shooting through me as if I’d been shot a gunshot through my heart. Everything sank in beneath my skin, and I suddenly saw things extremely clearly.

I’d surfaced from the murky surface, and found no monster… except for Lily.

Kill. Kill-

I squashed her down quickly, filling my mind with thoughts of everything I’d just heard. Vergil had just…

“I had us pretending to be a married couple because I want to give her up, Sasha. Leah deserves more than me. My love will kill her. It is simply too dangerous for her to be with me.” Vergil continued, and Sasha seemed to finally calm down too, a sad look in her eyes as she watched the dejected form that stood before me.

“Do you really believe that, Vergil? Look at what you’ve tried, and what’s happened.” Sasha said softly, and if possible, Vergil’s shoulders slumped even more.

“I will find vengeance against the ones behind this. But… I don’t know if I can bear to love Leah, knowing that I could very well be her downfall.”

There was a long moment of silence between the arguing adults as they tried to think of a way out of this situation that they’d gotten themselves into.

“My downfall, Vergil, is that you never told me you love me. I lost hope and Lily broke me because I didn’t have enough hope in Dante and you.” I voiced, my words sounding slightly unfamiliar in my ears.

At the sound of coherent words from me, Vergil’s attention shifted immediately as he spun around, wide eyes of deep ocean blue scanning at me up and down.

“Leah…” He sighed my name like a sigh of immense relief and I smiled at him, at the remembrance of all that he’d done for me.

“Vergil Sparda, you stupid stupid man. You forget that this thing is a two way street. Just because you stop yourself from loving me, it can’t stop me from liking you.”

He shook his head, as if desperate to reject the idea.

“Leah, I-”

“I don’t care what happens from now onwards. I love you.”

He seems defeated at my interruptions. I never knew my words ever had such power of him, but it was obvious to me all of a sudden.

How he’d been giving off the subtle signs that he actually cared about me. How he was trying his best to stay pissed off and angry at me –in a way to ignore the growing feelings. But it must have grown the more he tried to push it all away.

“Leah, I never thought I’ll ever dare to say this, but I love you too.”