As more weeks passed, Caroline found herself digging deeper into the lives of the Belles.

She could spend more time spying on Jade to find out if the woman was working with someone—if her attack on Caroline was more than just her pure obsession over Trent. But being near Jade also meant seeing Trent. And for now, Caroline had to admit that she could not get used to the sight. Many times, she tried to convince herself that she should be fine with Trent spending time with Jade. She was okay with it in the past, was she not? Ah, no matter, she would deal with her conflicting feelings once she was done with her time in Belcourt, one she could see ending soon.

The new Mistress, Sasha, seemed to be wiser than Lady Mariam. Her reputation preceded her. She was a Belle trusted by Arielle, and the woman seemed too loyal to Belcourt. If she as much as found out Caroline had been lying her way around Belcourt, Caroline would be doomed. So would Trent. And the rest of the Circus. Fatima and the others had warned her about Sasha and Caroline was taking precaution.

She could not tell who the Belcourt rat was. For one, there were too many Belles to look into. Each of them had their own maids who may also work for the Circus. She asked Robert, but the man claimed he did not know. "The Royal Master and Darcy are very careful with the Royal assets. I would be too, if I were in their shoes," was the only answer she got from the man.

He barely spent time with her, for he found no reason to do so as he had claimed. "I will accompany you in places that will prove relevant and useful," he had said, which was fine with Caroline because she had other things to do.

Spying on Ruby was among them which was what she was doing now.

The woman had been walking around downtown, looking into windows, pretending to shop. Pretending because Caroline knew Ruby never window-shopped. The woman always knew what she wanted and would get it as soon as she could. Ruby had looked over her shoulder three times now. It was late afternoon and it would soon get dark. She had no reason to be out unless she was meeting other Belles, which was unlikely because Belles rarely met this late.

Caroline was walking with Carrie, both of them in plain blue and white dresses that matched the crowd. When her carriage driver whispered that they should return home soon, Ruby crossed the street. Caroline ignored Carrie and continued down the path, eyes on Ruby and the direction she was headed to.

Fifteen minutes later, they watched Ruby enter a hotel.

"This is the third time I see her enter that hotel," said Caroline.

"And the third she walked out alone."

"She is meeting someone in secret."

"Who?"

"Are you asking me, Carrie?"

"No, milady. I know you do not know."

"But we will know," Caroline said. The woman could be Belcourt's rat, and if she was, she had to be protected.

"You may discover more in the Dockerly party," Carrie said as they headed back home.

"Yes." She had been invited to a party on the island of Dockerly among other Belles. "But I am afraid this will be another Islefield."

"Whatever do you mean, milady?"

"Jade would be there."

"Ah," Carrie said, face filled with realization. "And your fiancé will also be there."

She did not reply.

"If I am in your position, milady," Carrie continued, smacking her fist into her palm, "I will box the soul out of that wench."

"Oh, I am thinking of something more sadistic than that, Carrie, believe me."

"Well, I would not blame you. She tried to kill you. I have not been in love, of course, to sympathize with how you feel, but I can imagine how it must be like for you. To stomach the sight of the woman who tried to kill you while she displays intimacy with the man you love is indeed an impressive feat."

Caroline blinked. "I am not in love with my fiancé, Carrie."

"You are not?" Carrie asked, blinking in disbelief.

"No," she weakly replied.

"Then that means you are," the woman said with certainty.

"I am not—"

"That you deny it so weakly is enough proof, milady," Carrie interrupted with a laugh. "But do not be shy. I've seen enough women try to do the same."

Caroline's jaw tightened. She moistened her lips, waiting for what Carrie had to say next. When the woman did not, she could not help but ask, "And what happened to them?"

"Well, one of them got pregnant and had to suffer for it," Carrie said with a wink. "The other married a crazy doctor and is now a part of a group working against Belcourt."

Caroline snorted. "I do not think Fatima and Aliya would want to hear that."

"I am afraid so, yes."

As they walked home, Caroline wondered if she was being difficult on herself. Robert had said the same thing as Carrie.

But it was difficult to be certain. Trent had always been a part of her life. Always.

It was difficult to recognize the true reasons for her jealousy over Jade. Was it because she knew the woman did not deserve Trent? Or was it simply because she was in love with him?

⠒♣◆♣⠒

Belcourt threw the Dockerly party, but it was not an exclusive event for Belles and their flowers.

"They do not do this on the regular," Fatima told her. "The last Dockerly party was three years ago."

"But what is it for?" asked Caroline.

Her maid shrugged. "Aliya said it is a cover for the other transactions Belcourt does."

"Such as?"

"My former mistress never truly revealed anything specific. She may have had things hidden from Belcourt, but she remained loyal for the most part. Her missions were always a secret, even from us. Well, at least most of them were."

The grand villa in Dockerly was owned by Belcourt itself and was managed by older Belles who retired from taking missions and were gifted the villa to oversee. Here, the five of them spent their days free from missions, enjoying the privileges Belcourt showered upon them.

But it was still a prison, Caroline thought to herself. The five older Belles whom she had met may seem to show the other Belles the extravagant and fulfilling future they will have, but it was nothing compared to being free from Belcourt's clutches. Here, they still had servants. But here, they had nothing but themselves. They could not accept lovers now that they were no longer active Belles. They had to content themselves with each other, this villa, and the friends they may have in Dockerly. Or perhaps a trip or two to the mainland.

"Imagine this to be your future," she heard Trent behind her. She stiffened. She had not noticed him since they docked with Jade dragging him everywhere.

"Go to your Belle, Chalbarth," Robert said under his breath, taking Caroline by the elbow. "Come, Carol, you need to change for tonight's ball."

Caroline frowned, but she did not pull away when Robert guided her from Trent. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Trent watching them with a scowl on his face. Soon, Jade appeared beside him, hooking her arm through his.

"Don't call me Carol," she said to Robert.

"But you are Carol here," he murmured back. "Forget about Trent. You have important things to deal with tonight."

"I can handle a ball, Robert."

"Then I hope you can handle some French friends."

She came to a sudden halt, her entire body frozen. "What?" she snapped at him.

Robert's face was unreadable as it always was. "You heard me correctly."

His tone said it all and Caroline felt blood drain from her face. "He is here?"

Robert nodded. "Which is why I am here. I will protect you from him."

"He is your bloody friend!" she gritted out.

"Was," he corrected. "After what he did to you—and we are even barely friends, mind you—I do not think I can be friends with a man who has no honor."

She pulled away from his grasp. "You should have told me—"

"So we can miss this opportunity to discover more about Belcourt?" he asked, looking around. "Do not be too emotional about this, Caroline. You merely have to prepare for tonight. You do not even have to meet the man—"

She pushed away and whirled around to walk away. "Just make sure, Robert, that I do not lay my eyes on him."

⠒♣◆♣⠒

Trent was already in the ballroom with Jade, Ruby, and Aaron, when he saw Caroline enter with Robert. Immediately, he knew something was wrong.

Caroline looked beautiful in her flaming red gown, which was sign enough that something was awry. The stony expression on her face confirmed his suspicion, along with Jade's comment of, "She is looking rather uncomfortable, is she not?"

His jaw tightened, his eyes on Robert. Had the man done something?

No, of course not. Caroline could handle Robert.

He looked at Jade. Had she done something?

No. If she did, he would know. He was with her for most of the day.

Caroline seemed fine earlier in the schooner, and even when Robert dragged her away from him earlier.

Something must have happened between that time and now.

He surreptitiously watched her as she roamed around the room. Her hand was on Robert's arm, perhaps clutching it too tightly. And her eyes wandered, flickering from corner to corner.

He did the same.

Who was she looking for?

It would be an hour later that Trent discovered the reason for Caroline's distress. She was with Ruby, Jade, Summer, and a few other Belles in one corner of the ballroom. The music and dancing had already begun, and the new Mistress of the Court of Flowers had been formally introduced. Sasha was with a few other Belles but soon disappeared, probably to retire to her bedchamber. With no flower to entertain, she was free to do so.

Trent was with Robert and the other flowers, discussing the recent voting in the House of Lords. Other people were in attendance, most of which Trent was not familiar with. Some were foreign—American, English, French—and it was only then that he realized something.

French.

He turned to Robert, whose eyes were on Caroline as if watching her closely. What for? From whom?

Then he saw him.

The bastard.

He just entered the room, his blond head towering over most men, his blue eyes sweeping across the entire ballroom.

Robert saw as well, and in a flash, the man excused himself and turned to leave.

"I need to dash," Trent said at the same time R obert left, leaving Aaron and the others. "Tell Jade to meet me in the gardens," he hissed at Robert. "You bloody bastard, you will pay for this."

"I need to be here, Chalbarth," Robert said. "Darcy's orders."

"Then go and guide Jade to the garden. I will take care of Caroline."

"No, I will take care of her. She's my Belle." The man placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "Do not be reckless."

Robert's gaze told him what was at stake, that he was being stupid. His jaw tightened. His eyes flickered to the man who just entered the room.

"There is a chance he will not recognize her, but fret not, I will be beside her if he ever does," Robert added, leaving him alone in the middle of the ballroom. He watched as Robert interrupted the discussion Caroline was engaged with the other Belles and whispered something in her ear.

He saw her face blanch and her head snap around, but Robert held her arm and guided her away from the direction of French aristocrat.

His eyes went to Jade, who was already looking at him. She raised her brows, asking if everything was all right. He just nodded, but she excused herself from her friends and walked toward him.

And all he could do was wait as the woman approached. While Caroline was being escorted out of the room by Robert.

At that moment, he felt helpless. And he wondered if this was all worth it. If what he was doing was even solving anything.

⠒♣◆♣⠒

Alexandre Moulin was not a terrible memory, Caroline thought as she paced around her bedchamber. God, she wanted to believe that. But he was a terrible memory. He was a nightmare.

He left her to suffer alone.

Lose the child.

Those three words spoken with a thick French accent had stuck in her mind, eating away at her thoughts for days when she found out she was carrying his child. And for a while, she did consider those words. And she never forgave herself for it.

She wiped the tears on her face angrily. Robert watched her pace around, leaning against the door.

He cleared his throat. "If you are quite feeling all right, we can return to the ballroom."

She could have smacked him. She wanted to, the insensitive bastard.

But she did not. Because he was not Trent. He did not care how she felt. He only knew she did not want to see Alexandre, only knew what the bastard did to her. He had no responsibility to feel any sympathy if he was even capable of it. He only cared that she would not break down and ruin her cover.

Perhaps she should learn from him and be insensitive. She sniffed and wiped the rest of the tears from her cheeks. "I am quite okay now," she lied.

"I do not think you are all right. I can wait a little longer while you compose yourself."

"I am all right," she snapped. She walked to the door and pushed him aside. "Let us go back—" then she stopped when she saw Trent standing outside, leaning against the opposite wall. "What are you—"

"Jade believes I am in one of the gaming rooms," he said, his tone dark and serious. "Watch the Belles, Dior," he ordered to Robert who opened his mouth to speak but Trent said, "This will only take a while." When the man did not move, Trent pushed himself into the room and stood facing Robert, "I am not like you, Robert, and if my propensity to be overcome by emotion is a sin, then let me burn in hell."

Robert sighed, shaking his head. "The two of you," he said, looking at Caroline and Trent, "will be the death of the Circus if you do not fix whatever this is going on between you. I will have none of your drama about caring for each other be a hindrance to our goals. You are both here in your own accord. You recognized the risks and took them. Stand by it and stop acting like wretched lovers with unresolved issues." His gaze settled on Trent. "This will be the last time."

He slammed the door shut, leaving Caroline inside the room with Trent.

"This looks rather familiar," she said, clearing her throat. "This situation, I mean. Islefield, remember?"

He did not find it amusing. His jaw clenched, and she moistened her lips. Robert said they should fix whatever this was between them. But what was there to fix?

The only thing she could think of was herself. But how could she fix herself when the damage was her past? When it did not involve Trent?

"Should we share a kiss?" she asked in a teasing tone. She did not want to talk about Alexandre or Jade or Robert.

"I love you."

Caroline blinked. Twice. Three times. Her heart skipped and never returned.

"There, I said it," he said with a shrug, voice so certain, face filled with determination.

She swallowed, her breath hitching. Then she forced out a laugh, which came out as a scoff.

"Do not even attempt to jest about it, Carol," he warned.

She took a step back. Not because she feared him, but because she needed a moment to think.

"Not as a friend," he said, stalking her to the middle of the room, his hands in his pockets. "So do not try to convince yourself that I am saying I love you as a friend."

She was indeed trying to tell herself that.

He pulled one hand from his pocket and she thought he would reach out for her, but he did not. He brushed his fingers through his hair instead, a hint of the frustration he was trying to hide. "And in case you are still too dense to even understand, Carol, let me reiterate that I do not want to be just your bloody friend because I love you as a man loves a woman. I have for years and years."

She blinked, not recognizing the Trent standing before her. But then, it was him. He was familiar. He was Trent. Telling her he loved her. As a woman. And it seemed real.

With a pathetic smile, he said, "You do not know how much I want to inflict pain on Jade for hurting you. Being around her fills me with rage and hatred it is no longer healthy. It makes me want to do the things she did to you, make her suffer the way you did. But I cannot because I am not that kind of man." He stood in front of her, merely a step away. He looked down. "And now that bastard is here, carrying with him all your nightmares. He is here to remind you of what you have lost, and I want to inflict on him more pain than I would Jade. By my thoughts alone, I could already burn in hell." He took a lungful of air and sighed. "Because I love you, Carol. As helpless as I am now, I love you."

She blinked. What was she to say?

"I have finally said it after many years. It is quite a relief, honestly," he said, his tone lighter, his eyes wandering all over her face, searching for any sign of how she felt about this. "I did not plan this, but I believe taking out a bit of confusion will make things easier for the two of us. Robert is right. We might as well have to fix whatever this is between us. Confessing my affections is the first step. From now on, you will never question where my heart lies whenever I am with my Belle, for it will always be with you. I would rather we talk about your situation and the tasks on hand whenever we are together rather than dancing around trying to guess what the other is feeling. I will always wonder if you feel the same, but I always have for years and I am used to it. It is enough that you are aware of my feelings. And that I will always stay." She just stared at him and he did the same. "Now would be the perfect time to say something."

He was not touching her, but she felt his need to do so. And she wanted to be wrapped in his arms. But how could she demand for that when she did not even know what to say but, "Why have you never confessed before?"

Trent lifted his shoulder in a shrug. "I was afraid at first. Then I became a flower and I could no longer do it, not when I am with another woman. And you are not in love with me."

"You were waiting for the perfect time to tell me?"

"Yes."

"And now is the perfect time? Because Robert wants us to fix things?"

"Because I may never have a perfect time to tell you. With you, there is no perfect timing, Carol, I realized."

She blinked away from his gaze. "Trent, I—"

He stepped back and smiled at her. "I know, Carol. I confessed because I want you to know that I am always here for you. I am helpless now because of this bloody situation, but you must know I will do anything for you. Just one word and I will drop everything. Bloody hell, I even feel useless as a Royal. I failed my first mission and I am yet to take another one. I am failing my father more than anyone else. You were right. I am not fit to be a gentleman of Belcourt."

"I never said that."

"But you thought of it."

"I may have, but I thought of it because I believed you will fall for your Belle."

"Nonsense."

"I realized that now."

"I could always serve the Circus some other way, disappointing as it may be for my father."

"I will never ask you for anything that you do not want to do."

"You also never asked me to love you, but I still did." He sighed. "Carol, the only reason why I am here as a gentleman of Belcourt is because of you. Once you are out of here, I am out of here. I am done. The Royal Circus can kick me out and I will only be happy. There, another confession."

She blinked in confusion. "You dislike being a Royal?"

"No, quite the opposite. I just dislike following my father's wishes."

"He wanted you to be a flower." He did not answer. "He also wishes that we marry."

"That is the only wish I rather appreciate."

She bit her lip, speechless for once. Where was her timely wit when she needed it?

"Funny, really, that I do not even feel desperate for you to give me an answer. I should have done this a long time ago, to be honest." He gestured at the door. "Alexandre is out there. Jade is out there. I cannot protect you from him if he approached you out in the open without good reason; I will try to prevent my Belle from killing you, of course, which I think is the only mission I have at the moment. Still, I want you to know I love you..."

His smile widened as he retreated to the door. "Now you know why I am keen on marrying you." He turned but then he stopped, brows furrowed as if he was considering saying something.

Then he must have thought he might as well say it all. He faced her with a gentle smile on his lips. "I am angry that I cannot even make you love me enough to selflessly give me what remains, knowing I will give them back in equal measure. But I know you do not have that confidence yet and I am not a selfish man, Carol." His eyes met hers, their brown depths filled with emotions familiar to her, but were just now revealing their true nature to her now. "Can you imagine it?" he asked, bringing back their old game.

"Imagine what?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"You... me..." he said, "Not friends. Just...us."

Her eyes filled with tears as the picture he painted came to her.

He did not wait for a reply. "This will be the last time I will come to you unannounced. From now on, I will focus on protecting you from a distance. Staying away from you is protecting you. Robert is right. We should avoid each other while we are still in Belcourt. We cannot attract attention."

She wanted to ask questions. Until when would that be? What if she needed him? What if she had things she had to tell him?

"If you want to relay something to the Circus, you may call for Dior. He is your flower, after all."

"But Trent, I—"

He smiled at her, but it did not reach his eyes. "I will be all right, Carol. I have loved you for a long time. I'm quite used to it." She opened her mouth, and he raised his brows. "Unless you have something else to tell me?"

He was challenging her, the bastard.

She swallowed. Then she blinked. What was she to tell him?

He chuckled. "Take your time, Carol. I am certain you will find a way."

He left the room, closing the door gently behind him. His words echoed in her head.

I am angry that I cannot even make you love me enough to selflessly give me what remains...

Something clenched at her heart, twisting it slowly and delicately, squeezing the pain until it trickled down her arms to her fingertips.

Good God.

Her best friend was in love with her.

⠒♣◆♣⠒

Caroline composed herself and headed back to the ballroom, certain that this was not how one should feel after getting a confession from someone...

Someone who? Someone like Trent? Someone whom they had always thought was their friend? Someone they thought would never love them the way a woman should be loved?

She experienced how it was to be confessed to. She had received quite a few confessions in the past, one of them from Alexandre. And it never felt this horrible.

She did not detest it. She just did not know how to feel about it.

Because you think you do not deserve it, the voice in her head whispered.

But she was tired of feeling she deserved nothing. She knew she deserved nothing, after everything she had done to herself and Philippa. She should have fought harder for her and her unborn child. She ought to have been careful. The accident ought to have never happened.

She smiled against the hatred she felt for herself. She knew she was not to blame. It was not her fault her past was tragic, neither was it her fault that her lover abandoned her when she refused to be rid of their unborn child.

But still... still she blamed herself. Pathetic, really, how many times people had told her she should stop doing so, how many times she told herself the same thing.

Turning into the corridor that led to the staircase, she found Robert. And the man was not alone. Caroline stepped back and pressed her back against the wall before he saw her.

She heard Ruby say something but could not make out any word out of it. Robert whispered something back.

And then Robert's footsteps followed Ruby's downstairs. Then there was silence.

Caroline frowned.

Robert with Ruby? But why? How?