"Go, go, go, go!" Noah shouted against my ear, encouraging me, as I tried to keep my eyes open, looking at the empty road in front me.

He held the wheel from the passenger seat, where he was sitting, and told me to keep hitting the pedal.

The other day when we went to the movies with our friends, Noah had asked me when I was supposed to take my driver's test. I told him the truth, which was that I was not thinking about getting my driver's license because I did not think it was worth it, at least not for me.

To say he was shocked was an understatement and he told me right then and there that he was making it his mission to teach me how to drive and help me get my driver's license by the end of the summer. Of course our friends, Kyle and Harper included, took his side and encouraged me to get it, and while caught up in that wave of encouragement, I simply could not say no.

So, I agreed, and here we are now, at a place Noah calls his place, where he comes to when he wants to be alone, and where the two lane road that leads to a small cove surrounded by rocks, only has about ten cars driving by in an hour. Which, according to Noah, made it the greatest place to learn how to drive.

"Noah, you do realize that this is my first time ever driving a car, right?" I asked, letting the wave of panic hit me.

Noah chuckled. "Yeah, I got that the first three times you told me. Now, focus on the road and on what I told you."

Before we swapped seats he had explained the basics to me. How to start the car, where to put my feet and my hands, what every button did and how to change gears.

And although all those things seem easy in theory, when you're the one driving and you have to think about all those things at the same time plus keeping your eyes on the road that lies in front of you, it can get really hard.

"Oh my God." I whispered as my eyes shut close in a mixed form of trying to keep the fear at bay while also attempting to pull myself together.

"Eyes on the road, Zo!" He said and I opened them quickly, causing a wave of laughter to erupt from him.

He was getting a kick out of this and I couldn't help but look away from the empty road to glare at him angrily, which only made him chuckle.

"Alright, see that junction over there?" He pointed in the direction of a very narrow, empty dirt road. I hummed in agreement. "Take a right there. You're gonna want to put the blinker on and then gently turn the wheel in that direction as you're approaching."

I did as told and made it to the bumpy road. "Are you sure this is the way?"

"I've been coming here forever, I know this itinerary like the back of my hand."

"Fair enough." I said in a soft tone, as if talking low and slowly would help me concentrate on the task at hand.

As I drove more and more, I started to notice the line where the sky meets the sea was getting closer and closer and I saw the cove up close. I followed Noah's instructions and parked the car on a random empty space that was barely a parking spot and more like a cliff. Like those viewpoints to the ocean, except this one was basically abandoned and the road had more bumps than any road ever should have.

"I'm gonna kill you." I said bluntly and he quickly grabbed my hand with his, giving me a questioning look. "Getting me to park here? Did you want me to be responsible for your murder?"

"Come on, you did great!"

"This was beginner's luck. One slip and I-"

"That's why I was here." He said with a soft tone, reassuring me. "I wouldn't allow it."

Noah was a daredevil, so it was no surprise that he was okay with this. I simply scoffed without saying a word and let out a sigh of relief as I looked in front of me and watched the small waves crash against the rocks.

As soon as we both got our seatbelts off, he shifted in his seat to roll down the windows and our silence was greeted by the sound of seagulls flying over us and the ocean going and then pulling itself away from the shore.

"Peaceful, isn't it?" He asked.

I nodded in agreement and he smiled at my gesture.

"Come here." He got out of the car and waited outside for me. I held the car keys in my hand before making my way towards him. "I love this place." Noah wrapped his arm tightly around me, pulling me into his side before pressing a kiss on the side of my forehead, which caused me to feel all types of butterflies inside my stomach.

"It's beautiful." The cool ocean breeze felt good against my skin. The small strands of hair that fell on the sides of my face moved against my skin, while my french braid remained intact as it rested against my back.

He turned to his left, facing me and turning his back towards the ocean. I matched his movements, so that were face to face. He took a small step in my direction and cupped my face with his hands, before his lips crashed into mine in a long and sweet kiss.

"You're beautiful." His cheeky grin made an appearance after he saw me blushing.

"I gotta tell you, Zoey... I am falling in love with you." I remained silent, expecting anything but that confession, but that didn't stop him from keeping going. "I mean it. I feel my heart beating for you more and more, each day that goes by. It feels unreal and I love it. I love falling in love with you."

I felt my breath caught in my throat. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to jump out of my chest. I've always been told that I could be a little hotheaded and unpleasant for being too honest and too real. But it was situations like these - when someone else's feelings were involved -, that made me believe that honesty really was the best policy.

"Noah, no." His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You can't."

"Yes, I do."

"If you fall in love with me, then, that means that you'll be thinking of me as your forever."

"What did you even think this was?" He questioned, angrily, while gesturing between the two of us. "I'm not in it for the makeout sessions or the company or whatever the hell you're in this for. I'm in it because I got to know you and developed feelings for you. I'm not afraid to say it..."

A pause. The silence that Noah allowed to linger between us caused my heart to do backflips because I knew exactly what he was going to say next. I knew this guy standing before me like the back of my hand, now.

To an outsider, Noah could seem like the guy who was just half goofy half douche, with walls so tall around him that no one could see him for what he truly was. But Noah can quickly get vulnerable around who he chooses to be, exposing all of his true emotions and letting it all hang out without a second thought.

The next three words that rolled out of his tongue formed a knot in my throat. "I love you."

Noah Wilson was the guy who, after I gave him a hard time and kept pushing him away, offered me rides and wouldn't let me go home alone at night. He was the type of guy who saw how badly I wanted to improve my swimming, so he went ahead and helped me, pushing me to do better, practice after practice. He was selfless, kind and sweet and he has a heart of gold.

Those three words may apply now, but before he developed feelings for me, his intentions were nothing but good and pure.

Noah wears his heart on his sleeve more than he even knew.

"You don't think I love you too?" I shouted while hot tears rolled down my cheeks. Emotion was catching up to me now, and it was too late to even try to keep those tears at bay. "You don't think I love how you make me feel, how you make me feel more alive than I've ever felt in my entire life?"

Those were rhetorical questions, I knew the answer to those and, most importantly, so did he. Noah didn't budge, didn't even flinch a muscle on his face.

"I do. But I don't want to be in love with you!"

"Why not?"

"Because of my health! Because I won't be around forever... We've had this conversation before, I don't want to break your heart."

"There you are again with that." He scoffed. "You wanna know what I think? I think you choose to let your low immune system stand in between pursuing happiness for yourself because you're too afraid to. You self sabotage yourself, and your condition is merely a good enough excuse that you use left and right, because you're too much of a coward to at least admit that you are the one who's afraid."

Lying to others is very easy, but it's even easier to lie to yourself. The thing about when someone holds you up against the wall and tells you the truth about yourself is that it's a tough pill to swallow.

"You use that to not worry about college, you use that not to own up to your feelings about me. You deprive yourself from living because you're too afraid to live, not because of your health condition."

"Noah, no, you don't understand."

He held up his hand, as if he was done listening to me and my lame excuses.

"It's good to know that at least you love me back. You feel the same way I do, and that's enough to put a smile on my face."

He put his hands in the front pocket of his jeans and shrugged, showing me a hint of a small smile that vanished from his face way too quickly. "Too bad that you're the one stopping us from being something great."

Noah turned around and made his way to the car, looking gutted and I felt a corrosive sense of guilt for being the one to cause him that.

"But you're right about one thing, though." He said, while I stayed in the same position, eager to hear his response. "You're my forever." 

* * *

author's note: excuse me while i grab a pillow to scream into CAUSE THESE TWO!!!!! 

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xoxo, mars