When it comes to the seasons of the year, I'm not too picky. I like all four of them equally and all four of them are special for a reason. But if I had to choose, summer would be my favorite. Living in California, summer was when I could enjoy the blessing that it is having bright sun all year long without a care in the world.

And I loved a good day out on the beach, under the burning sun and swimming into the ocean whenever I pleased.

Today, though, it was time to say goodbye. Fall season had started a couple of weeks ago but it was only these past few days that the weather was fully changing and the long summer days were long gone.

"I can't believe you don't know how to surf." Noah commented while he removed his surfboard from the back of his jeep, and I grabbed my backpack, tossing it over my shoulder.

"I just don't." I shrugged. "But I kinda wanted to, though."

It was Sunday morning, the waves were fantastic and the sun wasn't too hot. It was the perfect day and the perfect way to say goodbye to summer. Which, in a nutshell, served as an excuse for us all to get together. Which has become somewhat regular these days.

During one of our many hangout sessions after class the other day, Kyle discovered Carter loved to surf as much as he did. Then, Ben and Noah joined in on the topic, saying they surf as well and, before we knew it, it was a plan.

The beach we were at today wasn't anything like the secluded beach where we had our bonfire party a few weeks ago. That was an almost private beach, hidden by the surrounding rocks that had been sculpted by the ocean throughout the time, while this one was a wider beach. Big sand area, a lot of entrances and exits. The kind of beach your parents take you to.

We were all spending the day at the beach today, as a form of waving the summer goodbye. The boys were surfing while me and the girls were just sunbathing.

"I don't know how you deliberately want to move to the East Coast and say goodbye to this weather." I questioned my cousin before throwing my head back, enjoying the sun warming my face.

"You're moving away?" Chloé, laying on her towel that was stretched between mine and Harper's, asked, turning her head to my cousin's direction.

"Yeah. I'm hoping to go to college in New York next fall."

"Oh, really?" Harper nodded in agreement before Chloé added. "My brother goes to college there. He's majoring in Human Rights at Columbia University."

"No way!" At the sound of the college name, Harper grew a dreamy expression on her face that slowly vanished. Knowing Harper like the back of my hand, I could see her brain being filled with self doubt and lack of confidence in herself. "I really wanted to get into Columbia, but I don't know if I will..."

The bond between me, Chloé and Harper - altogether as a trio -, has grown so much stronger. Chloé was so used to hanging out with the guys all the time that me and Harper tagging along was a real perk for her. On the other hand, Harper and I appreciated the new female friendship, as opposed to being just the two of us all the time.

"My brother got in with a scholarship." Choé explained. "He's a real nerd."

"What about you?" Harper asked, sitting up straighter. Her strawberry colored hair glistened underneath the sun.

"Oh, the cold weather isn't for me. I've got other plans."

"Do you already know what you want to major in?" I asked.

"I don't even know if I want to do college..." She took a pause, and Harper and I looked at her, waiting for her to add something else to her statement. "It just feels like it's a decision that's being made for me, you know?"

Yep, I do.

It feels like it's all laid out for us and we don't have a say in it. You're born, you go to preschool, then you go to primary and middle school, and then you go to high school and, as if twelve years of learning stuff you're never gonna use in real life isn't enough, you still got college to attend. It's pretty much textbook, pun intended.

That's the social order of things and if you choose a different path you're always mercilessly judged by society.

It's our future after all... Shouldn't we get to decide?

"So, what do you want to do after high school?"

"I don't know..." Chloé looked everywhere but in our direction. "I think I'm gonna take a gap year and go to Europe."

"Europe?" Harper questioned, while pulling up her sunglasses and laying them on top of her head. As if removing them would make her see Chloé more clearly.

"Yeah, I..." I noticed Chloé acting shy around us for the very first time, and I found it the very least, somewhat strange of her. "I want to be a model."

This time I sat up in a jolt, ignoring the sun that was warming me from the inside out, and pulled up my sunglasses, resting them on top of my blonde hair, mirroring my cousin's previous behavior.

"A model? That's so cool, Chloé!"

"Yeah, it's cool..." Her smile turned upside down. "But it's not easy."

She ran her hand through her black, wavy hair and remained still, looking at the ocean. I followed her gaze and my eyes found the guys surfing.

Carter was riding a wave that was just about to crash and I watched him falling from his board onto the sea. Right next to him was Noah, who was lying face down, on his board, using only his arms to swim forward, where Ben and Kyle were, just ready to embark on another wave that was slowly starting to form near the horizon.

"You know, my parents don't agree with it." She added, and I realized that she might have been looking at where the guys were, but her mind was elsewhere.

"The modeling or the moving?" Harper asked, in a whisper, realizing just as much as I did that this was a touchy subject for Chloé.

And the strangest part of all of this is that Chloé is the type of girl who doesn't do touchy subjects. She's a force of nature who'd turn her back on anyone and anything that'd get in the way of doing what she wants, and mostly, what she loves.

That led me to remember when she told me about her and Ben. Her parents hated him so much and for no reason in particular. Ben just wasn't a part of the Californian elite. His parents weren't rich, he didn't have a company, or family funds or even properties to inherit.

But she couldn't care less. She loved Ben and she dated him as much as she wanted, even if it was against her parents' wishes.

"Honestly?" Chloé questioned, and Harper and I shot her a nod. "Both!"

After a quick moment of silence, Ben's girlfriend - now, probably feeling a little bit more comfortable to talk about it -, elaborated on her previous statements.

"I've always dreamed of it. Walking the most important fashion runways in the world... Milan, Paris, London!" She took in a breath as she closed her eyes.

"That's what I want." She stated, answering my original question. "What about you, Zoey?"

Now, all the attention was on me and I found the girls looking in my direction. With a sense of discomfort, I scoffed. "What about me?"

"I know you still have senior year ahead of you, but do you have any idea of what you're gonna do after high school?"

I don't. I never thought I'd be alive, or at the very least, healthy enough that college would cross my mind by the end of high school.

I mean, it is pretty much a miracle that I'm alive by sixteen, so, why would I be alive at eighteen? And why would I even bother with SATs and college decisions?

But the truth is, I would be turning seventeen in two months. And college was something I'd consider, I would have to start thinking about it.

"I... I don't know if I want to do college." I answered truthfully. "I think I'll just get a job somewhere and then decide on a major when the time is right." I shrugged to ease the attention on me, but the girls' eyes weren't leaving me alone.

"Yeah... There's nothing wrong with that." Chloé blurted out. "I mean, look at me! I'm the disappointment of the family."

"Come on, Chloé..." Harper said while looking at her, and gave her a nod that indicated for her to stop.

It would be so much easier to just say "That's not true, Chloé." or "Your parents love you no matter what." . But Chloé did not need to hear that, when, unfortunately, it wasn't even true.

"It doesn't matter what your family wants." I said, resting my hand on top of hers in the sand. "It's your life. You want to do modeling? You go and do modeling! And if at forty years old you realize you want to study or... pursue a college degree, you go and do it."

"Yeah." Harper chipped in, wrapping her arm around the brunette, pulling her to a side hug. "And we'd all be here to cheer you on."

I probably won't, I thought. But I didn't say it out loud. I simply nodded and smiled.

"Thank you so much, girls." Chloé smiled before turning to her left to face me. "You're sounding like a true Mrs. Wilson, little Zo."

My face went white at her words, and I pulled my sunglasses down, as if the shades would shield me from the latest comment. If anyone looked at me right now, they'd probably think I'd just seen a ghost.

Harper cheered behind Chloé and they giggled, looking at me, waiting for some response. I found myself dragging my fingers across the sand.

"You're out of your mind." Was all I said in the harshest tone I could muster. "Why'd you even say that?"

"Oh come on, telling me to seize my life and do what I want and not care what anyone else thinks? You're giving out a lot of YOLO vibes." I shot Chloé a questioning look before she furthered her thoughts. "The only person who'd tell me exactly what you just did would be Noah."

"What about Ben?"

"Ben would say the same thing to anyone else, but when it comes to me?" She smirked while pointing at herself with her index finger, which was decorated with at least three silver rings. "He wants me to play it safe. Meaning, he thinks a college degree would be a good back up plan for me. You know, just in case I don't make it as a model."

I nodded and stayed silent.

"But come on, Zoe..." Chloé winked at me "If you like Noah you can tell us. Girl code."

"I don't like Noah." I stated, my voice firm and steady.

"Yeah, but you like him more than you used to." Harper said while she stretched herself on the towel, and grabbed her water bottle to take a sip.

"I just... got to know him better, that's all."

The girls were about to say something else, but they shut their mouths when the guys towered over us, splashing water from their bodies onto us. They dug their surfboards into the sand and started taking their places next to us, stretching out their own towels.

"Stop it!" Chloé squealed as Ben picked her up and took her to the ocean. As they walked away I could hear her squeal and Ben chuckling.

"Who wants burgers?" Carter asked, his hands resting lazily on each side of his waist, while he stood by the edge of his towel. "Kyle and I are going over there to grab us some lunch." He nodded in the direction of the burger bar by the beach.

"Me!" I said right away. "I'm desperately craving a cheeseburger with curly fries."

"You already know what I want." Noah said as he handed Carter a few bucks. "Get me mine with extra bacon, alright?"

I got up from the towel and after finding my wallet, I handed Kyle the money for my order as well.

"Regular cheeseburger. No pickles."

"You got it."

Before I could sit back down on the towel, Noah's fingers wrapped around my arm, stopping me from moving forward. I turned back into his direction, looking into his eyes that were begging for my attention.

"I noticed you were looking at us for a second." He shot me another one of his goofy grins, that were so contagious, I found my lips curling upwards into a hint of a smile.

"I was watching Kyle." I said before stating the obvious. "My best friend, you know?"

"Alright... You wanna try surfing after lunch?"

"Oh no. I can't." Noah's thick and black eyebrows furrowed, and I added. "I could fall and get hurt and..."

"Right. Yeah." His frown disappeared and the grin came back. "Forget I asked. Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about something else."

I waited for him to continue, my curiosity now piqued.

"We're going to this concert next weekend. It's a really cool band, one of my favorites." He looked nervous as he spoke. "And I thought maybe you'd like to join us."

"Why would I? I hate music, remember?"

"Yeah, but I also remember I told you that you should experience a concert at least once and that'll totally change your mind about music."

"Is Kyle coming?" I asked, subconsciously switching legs to support my weight, and digging my heels into the sand.

"Um..." He thought about my question. "Yes, for sure. Carter's coming and those two aren't spending a day without the other, so..."

"I'll go if Harper goes as well."

"Oh yeah, she can come." He said with a beaming smile.

"Cool."

"Cool."

I was about to walk away when he stopped me for the second time.

"You wanna know something?" I nodded in silence. "There's this quote my brother taught me. Dave Grohl-" Noah cut himself off as he remembered that I probably had no idea who he was referring to.

"Dave Grohl is the vocalist of Foo Fighters, another great band. Anyway, he once said "You can sing a song to 85 000 people and they'll sing it back for 85 000 different reasons.". I remained silent, not knowing what to say to that, but he continued. "I just love that quote so much. Because it's true, you know?"

"So," He shrugged at the lack of a better gesture. "Go find your reason."

* * *

author's note: our boy noah is really out here getting closer and closer to zoey and our girl isn't even realising it 🥺

i sound like a broken record BUT if you liked this chapter please vote, comment, share this story and add it to your reading list  <3

major news - "plot twist" is coming THIS TUESDAY, on april 5th! it's a very special story for me so i hope to see you there :)

xoxo, mars