The sound of that music was distracting me again. It was a rock band for sure, but I couldn't tell which one. Not that I knew a lot about rock bands or bands in general.

I turned to look at him and found Noah nodding his head to the beat, his shaggy hair falling onto his closed eyelids as he bobbed his head up and down.

I kept thinking about what my cousin said yesterday.

Did he know me? Was that why he didn't bother to greet me?

"Here are my two favorite patients!" Doctor King said as he walked inside the room, all covered in scrubs, masks and gloves. I could tell by the way his cheeks rose and met his eyelashes that he was smiling. For a pediatrician dealing with sick kids all the time, he was awfully too cheerful.

Oh! Maybe I've seen him before at the waiting room of one of Doctor King's appointments then.

Noah slid off his black headphones and sat up with a smile to greet the doctor. I did the same.

"How are you feeling champ?" Doctor King approached Noah first.

Champ? Yep, Harper must be right.

Noah spoke up as he told the doctor how he's been feeling, keeping that wide smile on his face, impossible not to notice the dimples in his cheeks.

"I'm glad. I'll come back for you later, I gotta check on Zoey here first."

Doctor King closed the white plastic curtain that separates the two beds and approached me.

"Hey doctor. Do you come bearing good news?"

His lips cheeks dropped, no longer meeting his eyelashes, as he walked over to where I was sitting, and I knew that meant no good.

"I'm afraid not, Zoey."

Shit.

My heart sank, in a painful and insanely fast drop, like the ones where you fall down to the lowest part of the rollercoaster.

"The lab results weren't as good as I was expecting." The smile I had on my face was completely wiped off, disappointment overwhelming me.

"What?" I said in a low whisper.

"I'm sorry. The results show you're still battling an infection. I prescribed some more antibiotics, Nurse Hopkins is already taking care of it. We'll re-evaluate again in three days."

He kept speaking, he kept saying everything will be okay and that I should be out of here sooner than I expected but the truth is I expected to be out of here today.

And that wasn't going to happen.

"Okay." Was all I said in response, feeling nothing but numb.

"I'm sorry again, Zoey. I wish I had better news."

"That's okay." I said before sucking on my bottom lip in an attempt to content my cries. "It's not your fault."

It wasn't. It wasn't the doctor's fault, the nurse's fault, or unlike what eleven year old me would think, my fault.

With these back to back infections my body had become resistant to a lot of antibiotics, pain killers and other medicine, so it shouldn't even come as a surprise to me that my body wasn't responding to the ones that worked for the past few times.

"Again, I'm sorry. I really wish I could be telling you to go home right now."

"Trust me, I do too."

He opened the curtain that separates me and Noah and left the room, but not without turning back around to make sure I knew he had it all planned out in case this next treatment wouldn't work.

"Get some rest, will you Zoey?"

I nodded in agreement and thanked him. "Thank you Doctor King."

I felt my voice tremble inside my throat as it vibrated against my trachea. Sure, it wasn't my fault but that didn't make it anymore okay.

When the doctor turned in his heels and closed the door behind him, blinking wasn't helping me any more and I felt the hot small tear drops fall down my cheeks, wetting my freckles.

How is this year being the worst ever?

How is this infection not gone by now?

How am I still stuck in this hospital room for another week?

Worse of all, how am I going to tell the coach this news?

He's gonna kick me off the team, or at the very least take me off the winter competition.

Swimming is my thing, it's what I truly love to do and what I hope I can do for as long as I live, no matter how short my stay here will be.

The feeling I get when I dive into the water is indescribable. When the chlorine filled water washes over my cap, shoulders, arms, hips, legs and finally my feet, it is not like anything I ever felt before.

I feel alive.

Which is more than what I feel on a daily basis.

I feel like I'm actually doing something with my time here.

"Zoey?"

At the sound of a thick, low and deep voice, I'm brought back to reality and my mind is forced to walk away from my thoughts.

I start to feel hot on my cheeks, my breath hitches on my throat and that's when I know I've been crying and sobbing for longer than I thought, and I must look like a clown.

I turned my head towards where the sound came from and found Noah, without his headphones, looking at me with concern.

"What?"

"What happened?" He asked me, his brown eyes were soft and filled with worry.

"Why do you care?"

He struggled to find the words to say after my strong and uncalled for remark, but he didn't give up.

"You're crying. You're clearly upset about something." He stated the obvious. "It's okay if you don't wanna talk about it, I get it." After some hesitation, he continued. "But I could not not ask."

I wasn't expecting that much honesty and genuinity to radiate from a guy who up until yesterday didn't even bother to say hi to the person he was sharing a room with.

"If you must know, you're stuck with me for another week. I can't go home today."

"Oh." Was all he said, the wheels in his brain still turning as he heard me explain.

"Yep." I said, enunciating the p more, before sarcasm took over. "What a joy."

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them. He didn't say anything else, but I could feel his eyes glued to me as I focused on studying the plain white bed sheets below my feet.

"Thanks for asking." I said as I wiped away my tears, breaking the silence.

"No problem."

I stretched in my place to pick up my phone from my bedside table and called Kyle. My best friend answered after a couple of rings and during our small conversation where I told him what had happened, I could see from the corner of my eye Noah playing his music again, drifting into his own little world now.

Kyle told me that Harper and himself would be coming over as soon as they could and he advised me to call my dads to let them know the news. Although I was pretty sure that by this time, some nurse had already called them.

He was right.

When my dad answered the call, he already knew about the bad news. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I'll be there as soon as I'm done with this meeting." I heard my father say on the other end of the line.

God, they were all so perfect. I was surrounded by perfect human beings. They say that nobody's perfect but they are. My dads, my friends, my family... they're all so perfect. And I feel so... impotent. Guilty. Mad. They do not deserve me or all of this heartache I cause them.

Gavin is an architect. He works for a large company, responsible for designing the buildings people will buy to live out their dreams. Their real life castles. That was actually how he explained it to me when I asked him what his job was for the first time when I was a little kid.

That required some meetings with the land owners or sometimes the company's directors, but between all that work, he would still find the time, make the time, to check up on me whenever he could tell I needed it.

And this time was no different. In less than an hour, he came rushing in, wearing the very needed scrubs, to check up on me and hold me.

I gladly accepted the hug and held him too, unable to control my tears anymore.

"Sweetie, it's okay. The new meds will work this time." He rubbed my back, trying to comfort me the best he could.

"I need to talk to coach. He's gonna be so upset. I'm never gonna make it to the Winter competition."

"Oh come on ZoZo, don't say that." He leaned back to show me his smile. "You're his best swimmer. He can't afford to bench you."

"You don't know that. I've been missing practise for so long!"

There was nothing my father could have said to make me feel better. I was too depressed, too sad, too overwhelmed. But eventually, the tears stopped and my dad left.

"Talk to you tonight, okay?"

"Okay." I nodded in agreement. "Kyle and Harper will be here soon too."

He left, but not before leaning down to kiss the top of my head.

Gavin went back to work and I went back to scrolling on my phone, wishing nothing but the time to pass by quickly.

"Hey ZoZo." I turned around and faced Noah's cheeky grin. "You'll be fine." 

*  *  *

author's note:  chapter number three! wow! this one was a challenge, i don't know exactly why but i was struggling with this one a little bit, but i hope you liked it 💖

don't forget to vote and comment and add the story to your reading list so you won't miss out on any updates! and follow me on ig (missmarswrites) for more TBOTE related content!

p.s.: new cover AGAIN cause, i truly am the most indecisive person you'll ever meet lol

xoxo, mars