Night after night, I was having trouble falling asleep. Noah hogged my brain. He was all I could literally thinking about.

I had to talk to Noah and own up to my own feelings. If he had the guts to be totally and utterly honest with me regarding his own, I owed him that much.

Enough with him being the one to always take the first step. Kissing me, asking me out on a date, kissing me again.

The very first thing he ever said to me replayed in my head. "It's 2020, girls can take the first step now, Barbie doll."

I thought back about the nickname he used to call me. Which used to make me sour, and now makes me smile.

So, with all of that in my mind, I quickly got my things and asked Harper to drive me to Santa Ana. It was Friday night, which meant that Noah was working.

After my cousin dropped me off, she drove back to her place and I made my way to Slices of Heaven. When I got there, the pizzeria was really busy with a group of teens younger than me hanging in the corner booth, a couple in their twenties sharing a calzone pizza at a table that was only meant for two.

I made my way to the counter and a brunette woman in her late thirties welcomed me, asking me about my order.

"I-I'm looking for Noah Wilson." I said before pointing to the kitchen area that was invisible by the counter, with a large door closed.

The woman eyed me up and down, as if trying to decipher if she knew me. "Who should I announce to him?"

"You can tell him that Barbie doll is here to see him. It's sort of important."

She wanted to laugh, I could tell, but kept it to herself. Not even five minutes later, Noah came up from behind me - unexpectedly -, coming out of the kitchen from a different door.

"I'm confused." He announced himself. "I thought Barbie doll was a no show."

I turned in my heels to face him and at the lack of words, I wordlessly looked at him, standing in front of me, still wearing his black apron that was covered in flour.

"I wanted to talk to you." I blurted out.

"Okay."

"Have you had dinner? I thought maybe you could take your break and we could eat and... talk."

Noah wanted to say yes, but his expression said otherwise. "I'm sorry... it's Friday night, we do our breaks after rush hour. Uh, if you don't mind waiting, I could take my break at ten."

Dinner at ten? I could think of worse things.

"I'll wait." I said. Noah remained silent for a minute before he directed me to a corner booth at the back.

"You should order the lasagna. One's enough for the two of us." He said after handing me the menu he grabbed from the counter and right before showing me his goofy grin. "I make a pretty good one."

* * *

By ten o'clock at night I was absolutely starving, but I couldn't lose my determination now.

Without his apron now, and in his regular clothes, he approached the table with a smile and took a seat across from me.

"Hi."

"Hi." I said, my nerves starting to make their debut.

Too late, you can't back down now.

"I didn't expect to see you here tonight."

"I needed to talk to you. And I didn't wanna wait for tomorrow and I didn't want to talk over the phone either."

"Please." He said before letting out a puff of air. "Drop the act and just admit you wanted to eat my food again."

He chuckled and I did too. "I'm just kidding, by the way."

"I know." I said when, deep down what I really wanted to say was "Thank you for loosening me up a bit before I say one of the most important things I've ever said to anyone, ever." .

"Did you order the lasagna?"

"Yeah, I did." I said as I nodded in confirmation.

"So, what'd you want to talk about?"

By this time, the people eating at the restaurant were slowly starting to fade away, now more than finished with their meals. The only few people who still walked through the door were mostly just looking for a quick dinner at the end of their probably busy week, not choosing to eat in and taking their food home with them instead.

It was really good to have the place almost to ourselves when I wanted to have this conversation with Noah.

"I..." I said, dragging the word before regaining the courage in me to speak up. "I wanted to talk about us."

"Us?" His right eyebrow raised up to his hairline.

"Yes. I mean, not that there's an us per say, I just... wanted to be real with you like you were with me and come clean."

"Come clean? Who'd you murder?"

I laughed - loving how his jokes were making me feel -, and rested my back on the puffy chair before leaning in again. "I just wanted to tell you that I really like you too."

I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest as soon as the words rolled out of my tongue.

Now, there was really no turning back. The cards were all out on the table.

Noah was frozen in his seat, not moving an inch. For the first two minutes I was sure he hadn't blinked. I didn't see his eyelids closing and I was starting to regret coming here in the first place. But then he cleared his throat and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"I'm really happy to hear that." His smile wasn't goofy or playful like usual. It was just honest with a dash of shyness to it, and that only made Noah seem even more human.

"I just want to tell you that I've been feeling that way for a while. You're cool and you just emanate good vibes and I... I didn't even know I was missing that in my life, until I met you."

"Well, if we're coming clean here... I've discovered a lot of things about myself after meeting you, too."

That statement caught my attention and it piqued my curiosity. "Such as?"

"Feeling music is not nearly as good as falling in love." This time, I froze in my seat, my mouth agape. I looked at him, my eyes hooked onto his and not for a second he looked away.

He broke the radio silence between us with some sort of explanation. "See, I used to believe it was the other way around."

"You don't need to spell it out for me." I quickly responded, sounding a little rispid, more than I'd intended to.

The next person to interrupt the silence this time around, was one of Noah's co-workers who brought in the lasagna we were meant to share, and two plates. I picked up the silverware from a large cup that laid at the center of the table and thanked the ginger haired guy, who wasn't older than eighteen. He politely smiled before leaving me and Noah back to our conversation and our late night dinner.

Noah helped me split the lasagna in two and serve it into our plates. He was right, this was so good. So much better than I had expected.

We were halfway into our meal, which we were eating in what grew into a comfortable silence, when Noah chose to break the ice.

"So... What are you thinking we should do about it?"

"About what?"

"About us. I really like you, you really like me... If we really like each other, we should probably think about what we want to do."

I can see clearly where he's going with this. And to be honest, it was kind of careless of me not to think about it when I knew the consequences of my confession.

"Noah, I care about you a lot." I started, putting down my knife and fork, pausing my dinner to talk this through. "And as much as I like you, because I do, I would hate to jump into something that would cause you any type of hurt."

"Who says it'll cause me hurt?"

"Noah." I said his name, in a firm tone this time. "If you really like me, won't you get hurt if I end up dying?"

"Come on, Zoey. Not this again." He let go of his knife and fork too and leaned back against the back of his seat.

"What part of I'm living on borrowed time didn't you understand when I told you the first time?"

"That doesn't mean anything. And it's not like I'm gonna like you any less for it."

"But you'll get hurt!" My voice raised a bit, but I couldn't care less.

"I don't care! I don't care if I get hurt as long as I get to call you mine."

"This is exactly why I never liked to be friends with someone, let alone like someone. Because I knew this would happen." It was too bad I just never considered it could be the other way around.

"Don't you think opting not to like you - which is impossible, by the way - because of the possibility of getting hurt is something I should be the one choosing? Not you?"

He had a point.

"I would love to be your boyfriend. To date you. To call you mine. To pick up the phone in the middle of night just to hear your voice when I'm feeling overwhelmed with something, or just sad or... just because I want to."

Noah was on a roll and who was I to stop him? I just sat back, my mouth agape while I heard him. And my heart beating thunderously against my chest.

"I would love to watch the sunset with you. Not because I like it, but because you like it. And I like you."

A beat.

"The question is, do you want that too?" He picked up his fork to continue eating while waiting for me to reply, but my words came out so fast he didn't even have time to take a bite.

"Fine." He looked at me, his facial expression looking like he couldn't believe it. "Date me at your own risk."

"Good thing I'm a risk taker, then." He winked, his goofy smile and dimples were back on his face.

He dropped the fork and leaned in across the table, stealing a kiss from me and stealing my heart, all at once. 

* * *

author's note: SCREAMING ! CRYING ! SHAKING ! MY BABIES!!!!! 💗

this might be one of my favorite chapters i've ever written and TBOTE is probably the book i have the most number of favorite chapters cause let's face it, i adore this story <3

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xoxo, mars