Carla Mason:

I am replaying my past memories with Jenny in my head in an attempt to figure out the exact moment she started drifting away from me.

As far as remember, Jenny and I were perfectly close last summer. We didn't go to the beach or sling arms over each other's shoulders or make sand castles. We didn't smile widely like we did in that picture; our eyes didn't sparkle with happiness and naivety. But Jenny still came to my room. She still made me food. Everything in our lives wasn't perfect, but everything about our relationship was.

Around that time last year, we were well aware of all the fights going on in our house. They had already taken their toll on us.

I can vaguely remember the first time I heard Mama and Dad fight. Dad had come late from work the night before the fight happened. Jenny said he hadn't come at all, but when I asked Mama she said he was only very late. Mama also told me that she was only arguing with him because being late is bad when you are a father, but Jenny said her lies are so transparent you can practically see through them. I don't know whose story to trust, but I've always trusted Jenny more so I believe hers.

And as the days passed by, I could only come to the conclusion that Jenny was right. The fights kept happening, and Mama kept saying it was nothing, nothing to worry about at all. That her only problem was that Dad came late from work and that is not good for a father. But I knew she was lying because this one night, I waited for him to come.

He did not.

The next day, when I rushed to hug him, I caught a whiff of a weird, stingy smell on him. On his left collar was a hot pink smear. I questioned Jenny about it. She said the smell was alcohol and the stain was of a lipstick. She also wished he had drunk poison instead. I hit Jenny really hard for saying that and closed my eyes, waiting for her to retaliate but she did not. Instead, she said I'll be wishing the same thing one day and left my room. I yelled back at her that I would never, ever think such a horrible thing.

Now, I am not so sure.

Beside me, Eric coughs. I know I haven't been exactly nice to him, but he isn't a priority of mine at the moment. I'll apologize for my misbehavior sometime later, but not now.

Plus, we are just a few steps away from school. I can see the beige colored building looming above us in the distance. Eric's bike screeches to a halt and he says he's going to go park it. I hand him his umbrella back and say goodbye.

He smiles.

Then rides away.

****

School is unbearable. Especially Science class, because Eric just won't shut up in them.

Sir, if hot air rises upwards because it is less dense, why does it get colder on high altitudes? Shouldn't all that cold air be displaced downwards by the less dense hot air at sea level?

I wanted to know Sir, why do we get dizzy after spinning around in circles? And how do we get un-dizzy? Is spinning dangerous for us?

Sir, can you explain why we can't open deep freezers immediately after closing them?

Um, Sir, I read somewhere that some butterflies can see more colors than us because they have more photopigements than we do—five to be exact. Is that true? Can there really be colors we can't see?

Mr. Keating is delighted to have him in class. He smiles every single time Eric asks a question, and Eric smiles back. Because what else can Eric do? He's smart, his smile is contagious, and his passion is inspiring. His life is perfect; what can he do but smile about it?

Next to me, my friend Stephanie lets out a frustrated groan. I raise a questioning eyebrow at her.

"I can't help it, Carla," she says. "I seriously can't."

"What's wrong?"

"I think I am in love with Eric. Oh my God, I am so falling for this nerd. I never thought I'd find intelligence this attractive, oh God." She gazes dreamily in his direction, letting out an audible sigh. Her voice is all breathy and airy and that is only from staring at the back of his head. Unbelievable.

I shake my head at her. "Honestly, Steph? I think he is just very annoying."

"He is, a little. But he is also really cute. And I haven't even started talking about his hair."

I don't think there is anything special about his hair, really. They are resplendent under the lights of our class but they appear messy and ruffled. I believe they could use a nice shower. But to argue with someone in love is probably pointless and I don't want to waste my time debating over Eric's hair when I can just draw instead.

I pull out my drawing notebook, set my Prismacolor pencil to the page and start drawing. It feels as if my hand moves instinctively across the paper, off its own accord; like an invisible force is driving my hand to the right side of the page, then down in a straight line, to the right and up again. This is why I love drawing so much. In the pictures I sketch, I see a reflection of my mind, of my soul, of whatever is burdening my shoulders. It feels like picking up rocks from your chest, and setting them out on the paper. My hand glides smoothly across the page, drawing an eye. Then a tear. And in that tear is my dream, my deepest desire—a family where everybody is smiling and nobody is fighting. Two of the members have arms slung over each other's shoulders. In a distance is a sand castle.

I don't hear the bell ring for recess or watch Mr. Keating walk out of class or register Eric shutting up. Stephanie shakes my shoulder and my pencil clutters to the ground. That's when I notice everything—the empty class, the piercing silence.

Quietly, I pick up my books and head out of the classroom with Stephanie beside me. Stephanie hasn't dared to ask me about my drawings or even look at them since I yelled at her once for prying into my drawing notepad. She only asks if I am okay like she does every time I zone out like this and I nod and say yes like every time she asks me this question.

****

Author's note: Hey guys! I have had a loong day today so I am practically typing with my eyes closed. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, comment away to let me know! Also, that Mr. Keating reference is from Dead Poet's Society. Have you guys seen that movie? I absolutely adore it!

Hoping to see you all next Thursday. Have a great day ahead!

-RZ.