I was lost.

Ambrosia had been my family. My love. And like all the other people in my life who made me happy she'd been taken away. 

I thought of the Hag Dancer and wished more than ever to see her again, so I could speak to Ambrosia one last time.

I blamed myself for not joining Phelan on his grand adventure around the world, for if I had made the right choice Ambrosia would be alive. Everywhere I went death was waiting. It clung to me like a shadow, and I realized no one would ever be safe as long as I was near. I decided to do the world a favor and leave its inhabitants alone.

Out of spite, I refused to change back into a human and took comfort in hearing the wolf's melancholy howls ring through the trees. I hoped there were humans nearby, and the sound made them afraid. I withdrew into myself to wallow in despair, trying to forget the names and memories I held dear, and took little notice of what my beastly other half was doing.

When it had no voice left to cry with the wolf resigned to waste away, and I didn't comfort or try to stop it.

Because of this, some smaller animals grew boldly antagonistic.

"There goes a big, bad wolf," they'd tease, "when he starves we'll feast on him for a change."

They'd climb on its body and nip at its ears. Creatures that used to flee from its sight drew close enough to paw at its snout before scampering away giggling. Eventually they grew bored with the pitiful predator and left it alone.

For days the wolf continued this way, and without food in its belly it began to see visions of things that were not real.

A pair of siblings walked from behind a tree, and while their faces were familiar I could not remember their names. They looked healthy but frightened. Naïve.

"Where is your home?" the wolf asked but the children looked at it with disgust before running.

Not long after, the wolf collapsed. We had forgotten our oath to spread light throughout the world. We had forgotten our quest to find my sister. The emptiness inside was flooded by a river of tears. We barely remembered why there was a pain in our hearts that drove all other emotion away.

The only path left was to die, so the wolf closed its eyes and welcomed eternal sleep.

A squeaky voice shouted from overhead.

"Got another one for ya, Otto!"

The wolf did not open its eyes.

"Ooo-eee! Looks to be a sturdy one, Grapes! Nice and big!"

"She's a beauty, I'm proud to say. Do us a favor and give her a good blow of air!"

"Happy to!"

There was a soft clattering, like someone breaking wood with a dozen tiny hammers.

"I'm on a roll today, Otto! Have another for ya in just a second!"

"Where do you find the time, Grapes?"

"Someone's gotta keep the sky full."

"Saw something below with fur. Looked soft. Think you could snatch a few for the next batch?"

There was no further conversation, just rounds of quiet banging with the occasional tiny grunt.

Something landed on the wolf's back, as gentle as a snowflake, and then tiny feet were scrambling through the fur, leaving shivers as they moved. The feet climbed to the wolf's head and it felt like something was dancing right above its face.

"Oh yes, lots of the good stuff here," a voice muttered next to the wolf's ear. "Don't suppose you'll mind sparing a few. We've all got to look after the sky, haven't we? No big bother."

A prick of pain came from the top of the wolf's skull as whatever was up there pulled a hair out.

The wolf groaned.

"What's that?" the voice asked. "Don't tell me you felt it? Nah, you couldn't."

There was another sharp pain.

"Not too bad, eh? You know what? I'll just grab a bundle while I'm here."

The next tug was more severe as several hairs were pulled at once. The wolf growled a warning, more out of annoyance than pain, then opened an eye and rolled it up to see who was bothering it.

"Are you alive?" the voice said with a gasp.

The wolf shook to drop the creature from its head and the voice released a startled scream.

"You are alive," it exclaimed when the wolf stilled. "Oh. Oops. Goodness, I'm sorry!"

"What are you doing to me?" the wolf grunted as it searched to no avail for the owner of the voice.

"Hang on a second, friend! I'll come down to you."

The feet were dancing again, and out of the corner of its eye the wolf caught a flash of movement. A small body came into view and settled itself on the center of the wolf's snout.

It was a common brown jumper spider with furry legs and black eyes that glimmered with curiosity. Atop its head was the world's smallest green hat, with a ribbon half the width of a thread tied around it. The wolf was keen to open its jaws and snap, but I was curious about the arachnid and urged politeness.

Why isn't the vial protecting me from this creature? the wolf thought to me.

I don't know. Maybe because it doesn't mean any real harm?

Sensing an introduction, the spider reached up one of its legs and tipped its hat.

"Sorry for the sting, pup," it squeaked, "but I assumed you were dead as bones! Didn't think you'd notice if I foraged a little. Name's Grapes. Up there in the tree is my colleague, Otto. We're just a couple of hard-working chaps trying to keep the sky stocked."

"Stocked with what?"

Grapes shook with delight.

"Oh, it's marvelous work! Busy and difficult at times, but someone's gotta do it. Look up there now!"

The wolf turned its head so abruptly that Grapes had to cling to its snout to keep from falling off. The spider extended a fuzzy leg and pointed to a tree.

"Otto's got another one ready! He's so good at his work, sometimes I feel like a humble apprentice even though I've been doing it longer! Can you see him? Up there on the branch?"

The wolf had to squint to make out the minuscule form of the other spider. If it wasn't for the massive ball of white the spider held above his head, the wolf might have missed him completely.

"Good on ya, Otto!" Grapes called but it wasn't clear if his friend heard him.

A baffling thing happened, for Otto released the ball of white into the air, and instead of falling it lifted into the sky, traveling away until it disappeared into the blue.

Grapes sighed.

"And that's another one for the heavens." He turned back to the wolf. "We're hoping to get enough up there today to encourage rain. Trees have been asking for it for days. I gather the supplies and Otto wraps them nice and neat and blows them upwards. Once in a while I get to do the wrapping, but Otto's the real artist with it."

"What are they?"

"Clouds, of course! We make 'em from all sorts of things. Lots of nice, fluffy stuff we pick up here and there. Old webs, feathers, the occasional bit of fur. That's why I came to you, pup. I saw your fur and thought to myself, 'That'd make a dandy cloud'. And I was right, you're just as soft as you look."

"Grapes! You gathered that fur yet?" Otto called down.

Grapes raised a leg in salute. "Just about! Got caught up in a little conversation. This one wasn't dead, only napping!"

"It'll eat you, Grapes! Quick, throw a leg at it and get back up here! Should I throw a leg too, just in case?"

Grapes blinked at the wolf. "You won't eat me, right?"

"No."

"Very kind of you. I'll take my leave, and give my biggest thanks for letting me gather supplies from you." Grapes tipped the hat once more. "You'll make a fine cloud, indeed!"

"Wait," the wolf said as Grapes began to leave. "Do you know the twin brides who took over a castle recently?"

The question had been nagging me since I first realized what sort of creature Grapes was. He was not the same type of arachnid I'd seen crawling over the dining hall, but I wondered if gossip spread through the animal world as quickly as it did the court.

"Brides taking over a castle?" The spider considered the question and rubbed a leg on his head. "Don't know anything about that. But I don't know what a 'brides' or a 'castle' is. Good day, pup."

Grapes jumped from the wolf's nose and skittered across the ground, then climbed the tree and joined his companion on a high branch.

"Did you throw a leg, Grapes?"

"No, Otto. The pup was quite obliging, actually. Look what I've brought!"

"That's a lovely bit of fluff!"

The wolf listened as the spiders praised its fur and after a moment of excited tittering Otto began to work. In short time there was an enormous gray mass sitting between the spiders.

You're going to be in the sky forever now, I thought to the wolf.

The mass was blown into the air, where it hovered in a delicate dance for a few seconds before drifting upwards into the sky.

The spiders cheered on the new cloud as it went.

There was something lovely in the notion that a piece of myself would hang overhead. In a way, I would be closer to Ambrosia. Maybe my cloud would cover the woods with a gentle rain or shield someone's back on a hot day.

While there was still a heavy anguish in my heart, a bit of the weight had been lifted, just enough to give the wolf the renewed spirit to move forward. 

To this day, I sometimes raise my face to the sky to see if I can spot myself nestled among the clouds.