The Beast Within: Chapter One




Josiah's story ended on a somber note.

"You know what happened next," he said. "John was true to his word and led me here. When we pushed through the trees and I saw you in the distance...I couldn't believe it. You were alive. You were here. It was impossible."

He looked at his sister with eyes full of love. Unable to stop herself, Credence burst into tears. Josiah moved to comfort her but she pushed him away.

"What's wrong, 'Crence? Have I upset you?"

"No," she rasped, "there's...a lot to take in."

Josiah smiled. "I imagine I'll be overwhelmed after you share your story."

Credence shook her head. "You'll be furious."

"Why?"

She didn't answer but continued to cry. Josiah waited patiently for the emotion to pass, but he saw her shiver and understood there was a great fear beneath the tears.

"It's all right, take your time," he soothed.

"I'm an aunt," Credence whispered.

"Yes," Josiah said through a chuckle. "I can't wait for you to meet them. Faye and Ekon and little Credence."

"I don't know if you'll want that after you've heard what I've done."

His smile fell. He studied his sister's face before turning to look outside of the cave they were in. The night had almost passed during his story and the sun was beginning to peek over the horizon.

"I'll catch us some breakfast while you collect yourself."

When Josiah returned with a freshly-caught pheasant, he found his sister leaning with her forehead and palms against the stone wall, muttering to herself. With her mind focused elsewhere, she didn't notice her brother's arrival and nearly jumped from her skin when he touched her arm.

"Sorry! I didn't—"

"I was trying to figure out how to begin my story," Credence lied. 

"Start wherever feels necessary. Tell me about what happened when you left."

He added twigs to the dying fire before sitting down and beginning to pluck the bird he'd caught, which was difficult and messy as he had no water to soak the feathers in.

"Hey, 'Crence. Do you think you could...?"

Josiah pointed to the low flame struggling to catch the wood. Credence nodded and flicked her wrist, sending a flame through the air and onto the twigs.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing you do that," Josiah muttered in soft awe.

"Where is John," Credence asked, suddenly remembering there was a third companion. "I haven't seen him since—"

"He said it was best we found each other alone. I told him that bringing us together spared his life, but it did not make us friends. We would never have parted in the first place if it hadn't been for him."

"True, but without him I may not have survived to be with you in this cave. Where did he go?"

"I don't know and I don't care. I imagine he's run far away by now. The last thing he said was, 'Be kind to Credence, she's been through things you can't understand'."

"The council will want him back, won't they?"

Josiah shrugged. "He's told them everything he needs to. The council will understand I couldn't keep him—not when I had my sister to protect."

"I suppose. But I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Still trying to look after me."

"Ma charged me with keeping you safe, didn't she?"

They exchanged smiles.

"There's something I've been puzzling over," Credence began as she took a seat across from her brother. "You said that your wolf can heal quickly."

"Yes, all of my kind have that gift."

Credence hummed in thought. "It's just...John."

"What about him?"

"I've seen him with wounds that wouldn't heal. He carried a limp from a trap I caught him in, and he had a scar on his lip from when I wounded him as a wolf."

"I guess I never had time to think about that. He didn't have a scar on his lip when I met him, but he claimed you healed his limp."

"I...helped, I suppose. But I didn't heal him."

"What power did?"

Credence winced. "Aj—the Collector."

Josiah considered her answer. "Powerful monster, powerful magic."

"That doesn't explain why John needed to be healed in the first place."

"You said that the wounds he sustained were from you?"

"There was another time when his face was torn. That was healed by the Collector, too."

"I don't pretend to have all the answers, but perhaps there's something about your magic...and when you strike, it strengthens your attack."

"It would make sense why John was troubled by his injuries."

"I can't remember everything from his story. How did you trap him to give him the limp?"

Credence released a long sigh. "I guess it's my turn to share."

She never believed Josiah would learn of her past. She had forced herself to be convinced that time and silence would put distance between her present and the terrible actions of her past. The regret and pain weighed heavy in her body, and the wound inflicted upon her heart by Ajo was fresh. Credence hated that his name still made her want to cry.

More than anything she was afraid of her brother's reaction when he learned the truth.

It was difficult to speak the words that would damn her.

"I've seen and done much during our time apart," she began, "and I have many regrets."

"Tell me," Josiah urged, "and I swear I will listen without judgment."

"You don't know what you're swearing to."

"You're my sister and I love you. Nothing you say will change that."

True to his word, Josiah remained silent as Credence told her story. They paused briefly to eat breakfast, leaving off with Credence's arrival at the school. While they ate, Josiah asked a few questions about the towns and its horrors.

When Credence resumed and explained how John had purchased her the Auction, the air became thick with tension. The moment Credence was dreading came, and she had to explain her time with the Collector, whose real name, she revealed to Josiah, was Ajo.

She talked about their dinners together, and how each one removed a sliver of hate between them. How Ajo released her from the vow Galeia made. How he read beautiful words to her and asked for her hand in marriage.

Josiah's jaw clenched when she mentioned it.

But when she spoke of feeling a stir in her heart for her captor, Josiah shook his head.

"You were enchanted," he interrupted, "as you had been at the cabin."

Credence gave him a helpless look. "My feelings were real. My love...was real. I made a promise to Ajo, that if he allowed me into his vault...I would marry him."

Josiah stood and began to pace, and when Credence tried to speak he held his hand up.

"Give me a moment."

She watched him walk back and forth several times. He was trying to work something out on his own, and Credence lamented that she couldn't help him.

At last, he returned to the fire and sat.

"Continue."

She told him what she had seen in the vault, of Ajo's tragic life and how Galeia had been one of his greatest tormentors.

Still concerned by his sister's actions, Josiah was only half listening. He couldn't see any sense in feeling pity for a monster, much less love.

Credence revealed the last memory in the vault, where Ajo took Galeia's life.

The expression that crossed Josiah's face silenced her words.

A look of death and danger.

Josiah stood once more, and his sister almost feared he might strike her, but he went to the wall of the cave and drove his fist into the stone, releasing a terrible sound of anguish, half roar, half cry.

For a moment, the only noise came from his panting breaths.

"Ma is gone," he hissed, "because of the jealousy of that pathetic creature."

He desired nothing more than for the Collector to show itself now, so the wolf could sink its teeth into the villain's throat.

"After you discovered what it did," Josiah said quietly, "surely you didn't intend to honor your promise of marriage?"

A tear fell onto Credence's cheek and it was all the answer he needed. He did not move to comfort her this time but allowed her to weep alone.

A part of Josiah felt like she wasn't his sister anymore, but a stranger whose desires and choices utterly perplexed him.

The look of disgusted betrayal on her brother's face was more than Credence could bear. She realized that no amount of explaining would ever make him understand her choices or the guilt she carried because of them. She looked at the tattered dress hanging from her body, the wedding gown she had chosen to wear, and she hated herself more than Josiah ever could.

The worst of it, though she would never admit to her brother, was that her heart was still broken. A tiny corner of it held some concern and care for Ajo. She was not strong enough to lift the burden of love from her shoulders.

Credence continued with her story but didn't look at Josiah as she spoke. She explained how the marriage ended right as it began, and she left Ajo wounded, vowing to never return to the woods. She feared that by giving all of Ajo's memories back to him, he'd been driven insane.

"That's why I didn't want to come back to the woods," she said. "I wanted to forget about my past. I wanted to never care about anything ever again. I'm not proud of what I did, but I have to live with it all the same." 

"You married the Collector."

"I know you can't understand—"

"No, I can't. He killed our parents!"

"And he had reason to!"

Josiah balked. "Are you hearing yourself?"

"I don't mean to justify what Ajo did. He believed he was right, and he had a lifetime of torment to make him think so. And MaJosiah, Ma gave me up."

Credence laid her face in her hands to hide her shame.

"What about now?" Josiah asked, keeping his distance. "Are you still resigned to not care about anything?"

Credence raised her head. "How can I, when you stand here in front of me?"

The smallest sliver of his anger melted away. He turned to look at the woods beyond the cave, and listened to the sounds of the creatures that moved through it. All those unburdened lives who would never know half of the misery in the world.

Why couldn't his life be the same?

"It was all for nothing, wasn't it?" he whispered. "Pa's death, the well, the aunt in a purple house. Ma sent us into the woods with no purpose but to chase ghosts."

"She sent us in the opposite path of the danger that hunted us."

"Hunted you. And you were found all the same." 

"I escaped—"

"And you will be hunted again by this mad king. Your husband."

"I'm not the only one in danger. You said it yourself, his pursuit is for the entire woods." 

"And who gave him that idea? Who returned his memories and drove him to anger?"

"Josiah!"

"It's your fault. And the woods will suffer." He scoffed. "And you thought you could run to the ocean and leave us to bear the punishment for your mistakes."

"It wasn't that. I didn't want anyone else to get hurt."

"You didn't want to care about anyone else. But my family, Credence, is in peril now. Can't you understand? I have a home, and everyone there is likely to be thrown into a war they shouldn't shoulder the blame for."

"What am I supposed to do? Please, tell me. I need someone to show me how to make it right."

"I don't understand the first thing about battle."

Credence tensed, feeling that her brother meant to leave her.

"But there are people who might," Josiah added.

He held his hand to her and Credence accepted it, pulling herself to her feet.

"Whether you want it or not, this is a war of three," Josiah said with a grim face. "The Collector. The Queen. And you. We need to prepare for the rising threat. First we'll return to the colony and speak to the council. Maybe there's a way to find the Queen of the Wood and join her."

"They'll hate me for causing this mess."

"We don't have another choice."

"This is not your fight, Josiah."

"But it's yours, isn't it? That makes it mine."

"Your family—"

"Will not become slaves in the Collector's kingdom. You can't run from this, Credence, but you will not be alone."

He pulled her into a hug, though it wasn't a warm embrace. Something had come between them that made Josiah hesitant in his affection.

"You have magic," he said, "but you could have another power." He pulled away and stared at his sister. "The bite will only sting a little, and the colony has herbs to ease your first transformations. You'll have the gift I have. Your own wolf." He smiled but it did not reach his eyes. "I can do it right here."

His smile faded when he noticed the sorrow in his sister's eyes. Credence shook her head.

"Why refuse?" he asked. 

"It's a wonderful offer. The thought of joining your pack and having a place to belong—"

"Then accept it."

"It's not my path, Josiah."

They were equally hurt by the admission. Josiah's nose crinkled and Credence realized he was struggling not to cry.

"But I will speak to the council with you," she said. "You're right, this isn't something I can run from. I was wrong to believe I could. Ajo's wrath is my fault and I will answer for it, in one way or another. And if you still wish it...I would very much like to meet your family. They're a better reason than any I can think of to protect the woods." She touched his cheek. "I'm ready to accept my destiny."

Credence and Josiah had been apart for many years and were both changed. Their relationship had changed, too, and while they would never be able to return to their carefree childhood, there was a chance for them to forge a stronger bond.

"I won't leave you again," Josiah said, "I'll be right beside you, always. We'll win this war. For Ma and Pa."

"For your wife and children," Credence added.

"For the woods."

"For home."

Josiah smiled. From under his shirt he lifted a glowing vial tied with a delicate string. He pulled it over Credence's head, bestowing Faye's gift to his sister.

"For home, 'Crence."

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