Different people invoke different emotions within you. Some can make you feel safe, happy, comfortable while the company of others is irritable, nearly agonizing. But he made me feel things that weren't explainable, things I hadn't deemed possible, emotions far too colourful and striking for my otherwise bland life. Learning to live without that colour was nearly impossible, painful.

The fear of losing a loved one was unpreventable, no matter how much you were reassured they were going to be fine. Something selfish within you made you worry, and a dread filled you if they weren't in perfect visible health.

I felt hollow as if a hole had been carved into my chest, but it ached, I was numb and yet I was in pain. Love was made of ironies, contrasting differences, opposites that attracted so well, not always innocently. Sometimes those attractions were dark, sinful, wrong but that's the way love was. For some it was a strength but for others it was also the greatest weakness. A part of me loathed myself for staying, for sitting compliantly by his side in his peaceful state but he held my heart. It was attached to him, wherever I'd go he could pull me back using the strings he'd tightly drawn through it. There was no better time to leave, it was Xavier that was most persistent the others wouldn't care as much, perhaps Cole would even smile for once.

But it was in his eyes that I saw what I felt, admittedly outside of James and Cole I didn't have much other interaction, but James was happy, completely in love and happily so. His love made him whole while mine was tearing me in two. Cole's eyes displayed the presence of wounds that hadn't been tended to, wounds you couldn't wrap up with gauze. I'd never understood that emotion before, but that too had been apart of the grey storm of Xavier's eyes. The conscience was a great and horrible thing, basis of our morals but it also was the one that argued with our heart. It was selfish, reminding me of his crimes, but not of his love, while my heart sang of his affections all day.

I clenched my hands on the soft material of the sweater I'd worn. The soft grey colour of it only now registering, but there came a time when tears no longer sprung to your eyes, when your eyes ran dry. That was the most horrible stage of misery, being able to not let it out through the means of tears, harsh sobbing. You became achingly empty, and yet so full as if you were bursting with emotion with absolutely no way to let it out. It was so tempting to reach out and touch his soft smooth skin, to feel his heartbeat, allow myself some sense of relief that he was there. But I wasn't deserving of it, I didn't know if I'd be given the right, if I still had it. If Xavier would wish for me to even be near him much less touch him when he woke.

The doctor had told us there were many recounts of patients who were aware of their surroundings when in a coma and others who had no idea. I was nearly positive Xavier could hear, he was always so observant, so perceptive I didn't think a man like that could be unaware, he had the strength to hold on, to listen. Unlike me, I hadn't had that strength, I'd refused to listen. But every night Xavier had tried, never forcing me but never letting me forget he was still there, wanting a chance to explain. I didn't want him to forget somebody was waiting for him too, whether or not he wished for me to be waiting was up to him.

"You might be getting annoyed with my nightly talks, sometimes I feel they're more rambles and I just feel as if, if you were awake you'd look at me with amusement. But you'd never interrupt. You'd just listen quietly, only talking when necessary but your eyes have always said so much." My voice cracked and I paused, trying to clear my throat but the terrible feeling of a limo being at the back of my throat wouldn't go away.

"That might be one of the things I miss most, looking into your eyes and deciphering what it is you don't say. I'll never forget the last time I saw them, that type of devotion, love is seemingly impossible. I never thought anyone would even be interested in me, and yet you look at me as if you're seeing the light for the first time. Well you used to at least, I don't know how you'll feel when you awaken. I can't control that or blame you. Whatever you decide is completely up to you." It broke my heart to think about him waking up and deciding he didn't want me anymore.

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry Xavier, that bullet was meant for me. I wish it were me in your place. I wish I'd given you the chance to explain. I wish I'd listened to my heart, it swore you had a good reason but I believed what I'd seen." Inhaling deeply I look at his still form, large build completely still under the blanket. His broad shoulders and chest exposed, due to his naturally heated temperature the doctor still wouldn't let us put a shirt on him. My fingers twitched to reach out to him and push back the dark silky strands fallen on his forehead but I refrain.

"I want you to know that I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for not listening, and that if you'll still explain I'll listen. I'll listen to anything and everything you have to say but it's understandable if you no longer wish to, you did get shot because of me. That bullet was meant for me and I wish everyday it'd met its true mark." My breath hitched on those words, it was baffling to think I could love someone so much, enough to truly mean that I would rather take a bullet than see them get hit.

My heart won't let me leave you, neither will your men but that's besides the point. I don't know when my deep rooted fear for you turned into something so very different but I don't regret it. Being with you was the greatest time of my life. You made me feel inexplicable things, you made me yours, completely and now I don't want to leave. If that's what you want I'll go, but I don't want to leave you Xavier, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose the way you make me feel, what we have, I didn't think was humanly possible. I don't know when and I don't know how but somehow my heart became yours. I love you. I've never loved anyone the way that I love you, I don't think think I ever will. Xavier Night I am completely and unconditionally in love with you." I open my mouth to continue but the deeply familiar voice that resounds in the otherwise silent room has me completely frozen. That deep husky yet somehow smooth manly voice that I'd missed so much these past weeks, that it brought tears to my eyes that fell down my cheeks before I could even try to stop them.

"Raine." Xavier said gently his voice only very slightly hoarse, but still forming this heart wrenching caress around my name that had my heartbeat completely halting in my chest before it picked up with a fervour that nearly frightened me.

He was awake, my Xavier was awake. I was afraid to look, terrified that it was all part of my imagination, that I'd only imagined his voice and instead of his stormy gaze stopping my very breath, I'd be met with disappointment. But how could Xavier ever disappoint.

I looked up slowly, hesitantly my breath catching in my throat as my watery eyes met with bright melting silver ones encased in thick black lashes. A sweet storm brewing within them, so many emotions stirring inside them at once I could barely keep up. Love being the most dominant, but regret, adoration, guilt, admiration, he was made of opposites but that's what made him whole.

"Xavier." I breathed and he hesitantly opened up his arms, his silver eyes silently pleading for me to go to him, and a deep sob escaped my throat as I threw myself out of the chair and onto him.

Wrapping my arms tightly around him, I peppered kisses all over the skin I could reach, mumbling how sorry I was and how much I loved him. His arms wound tightly around my waist hugging me to him tightly, his strength surprising considering his current state. The warmth I'd missed so much, burning into my skin through my sweater. He patted my hair softly, running his hand down the length of it as he gently shushed me.

"It's okay baby, I'm okay, you're okay, we're both fine my love, don't cry." He cooed to me softly but it had the opposite affect. Another loud sob escaped me at his words, even after waking up from a coma he was comforting me, his hands patting me down to make sure I was alright.

"You're comforting me, you get shot because of me, were in a coma for weeks because of me yet you're worried about me. I don't deserve that Xavier, how can somebody even possibly love another so much." I sob out clinging to him and he cups my face gently, raising my head so I'm looking at him.

"I don't know if anyone else can, but I came across an angel and I fell in love with her. If the devil falls in love with angel there's bound to be trouble, I've sinned but I'd gladly do it again and again. Nobody has you, nobody can love the way I do. Every part of you, everything about you calls out to me, it always has, and it always will. I'm so in love with you Raine." He says softly tucking away a strand that had fallen onto my face, his large rough thumbs swiping gently at the tears that run down my cheeks, his hands larger than my whole face. I swallow thickly, looking up at him, my eyes widening as they land on the gauze. Great leave it up to me to jump on the injured man with a bullet hole in his chest.

"I'm so sorry." I say scrambling to try to get off him but Xavier tightens his hold on my waist shaking his head at me, plump red lips jutted out in a soft pout. He tilts his head to the side staring up at me pleadingly and my heart completely dissolves within my chest.

"Let me at least get you some water or something to eat, you have got to be thirsty." I say and he shakes his head.

"I'm not." He says stubbornly and I narrow my eyes at him.

"Please I only want you." He says gently.

"Xavier I love you but-" I start and his eyes widen as he suddenly turns us over on his bed so that I'm laying under him.

"Y-you love me?" He asks softly and I nod biting into my lower lip as I peer up at him from under my lashes. His eyes turn the softest I've ever seen them, looking like liquid silver, reddening slightly making me frown. A tear drops from his eye trailing slowly down his cheek and my eyes widen as I open my mouth to speak but he interrupts.

"Say it again." He whispers, staring at me so intensely my mind was giving me no other choice but to obey, no other thought even striking my mind. It wouldn't be completely shocking if that sensor in ones brain that keeps you breathing stopped working too for a moment.

"I love you, I'm completely in love with you Xavier. You own every part of me and especially my heart, it was yours from before I even realized it was. I've fallen so irrevocably in love with you that there's no hope for redemption. I love you so much." I say to him breathlessly and his eyes fill with tears and he hangs his face into the crook of my neck, still keeping the rest of his weight off me.

"I-I thought I'd imagined you saying that, while I was in a coma, I didn't think you could ever say that, ever love me. It's not possible for you to love me Raine. I'm a monster, and you, you're so beautiful and innocent and pure. I didn't think anyone could love me, let alone you Raine." He says shakily, his whole body trembling and tears spring to my own eyes, wrapping my arms around his torso I pull him down onto me, and he collapses onto me. My breath gets knocked out of my body only momentarily before he turns us around so that he's under me, stuttering out an apology. But I pay no heed to it.

"I love you Xavier, and I want you to tell me everything you've kept from me, I want to know all of you. But only after the doctor has gotten a look at you, and you've eaten and well showered I guess." I say softly, only now realizing as the words leave my mouth he needed to see the doctor. He'd just woken up from a coma and here I was cuddling him.

"No." he growls out tightening his hold on me, burying his face into my hair and inhaling deeply.

"Xavier, those are important you just woke up from a coma." I say my tone reprimanding, but only half hearted.

"We could eat and shower together." He mumbles into my hair and I nod absentmindedly.

"Yeah, yeah I'll stay with y-" I start until my eyes widen as I register the second thing he'd said. My cheeks turn a bright red and I hide my face mumbling a soft no and a husky chuckle rakes through him.

"I missed you so much baby girl, I'm so sorry for what you saw but I'll tell you everything I promise. I'll do anything and everything you want me to, if seeing that stupid doctor is important to you I'll see him." He says and I smile at him.

"Okay now let go so I can tell the others you're awake." His brows furrow as he realized that requires letting go, but a stern look from me has him reluctantly unwrapping his arms from around me. Before he can change his mind I'm off the bed after pressing a quick kiss to his forehead, and running out the door.

"James." I call running towards the stairs, seeing him running up them before I can even get down one. His eyes widened, I never called out for them or spoke without first being spoken to.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly, Cole not far behind, his cold eyes trained on me blankly.

"Xavier's awake." I tell them and their eyes widen, even Cole's and then they are both off sprinting towards the door of Xavier's room. Even some of the other men in the house are charging towards the room, but as I make my way back to the room, they are careful to let me slip through without running into me. Xavier probably wasn't going to like that much.

I wait by the door as James and Cole speak to Xavier, until Xavier looks over to me pleading with his eyes for me to come over to him. Ducking past the men I make my way towards him, placing my hand in his outstretched one. His hand immediately clamps around mine and he tugs me down onto him.

"Xavier." I say blushing a bright red as I scramble to get off him, instead choosing to sit by his side on the bed.

"Inappropriate." I whisper to Xavier.

"Mine." He whispers back and I shake my head at him turning my attention to James.

"How did you know he was awake?" James says.

"He said my name." I reply quietly, and James purses his lips to hide his smirk.

"Of course he did." He mumbled and my cooling cheeks go back to their bright red as Xavier wraps his large arm around my waist. Now leaned against the headboard he tugs me into himself. Pressing a soft kiss to the side of my head.

The noise of footsteps on the stairs let us know the doctor was here, and in their haste the guards posted outside had left the door open. Their dread is nearly tangible in the air and they are all out of the room in mere seconds, not wishing to be scolded by James who glares at their backs. Xavier's eyes unmoving from me.

Moments later the middle aged man trudges in, carrying his briefcase with him that although large is nothing compared to the one I know Xavier has.

"Mr.Night, how are you feeling?" He questions setting down his stuff and grabbing a stethoscope, pressing it against Xavier's still bare chest. I get off of the bed making my way around the bed to give the doctor some space ignoring Xavier's accusing stare.

"Fine." Xavier answers gruffly. We all wait patiently as the doctor performs his customary checks, getting a resounding no from Xavier when he says he'll be back later tonight.

"He means that won't be necessary." I say and Xavier only nods, stretching his hand out for me again.

"Mr.Night if you don't mind I think it's necessary you eat something before doing anything else." He says and I nod at Xavier who looks up at me making him sigh.

"You're recovering remarkably well Mr.Night but I'd suggest a lot of rest, try not to exert yourself too much, and drink many fluids, replenish all your vitamins and protein needs. I tried to keep all your levels normal in the duration of your coma but nothing compares to natural consumption." The doctor says and Xavier gives him a curt nod, thanking him and bidding him farewell as Cole offers to walk him out. Xavier looks at James pointedly who's eyes widen in realization and he scurries out calling for Cole.

"I'm going to take a shower love, and then I'll cook something up for us, I don't believe you've eaten." Xavier says.

"Xavier you're supposed to rest, not cook. Don't worry I'll cook for us." I say making Xavier's eyes widen and he gives me a small forced smile.

"Love I've rested for weeks, you though, you seem exhausted why don't you freshen up and take a nap, I'll cook." He says and I shake my head.

"Well the doctor said to get rest, so I'm cooking." I say and Xavier mumbles something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like "that doctor's going to get my home burnt" earning him a sharp "what" from me. Shaking his head innocently Xavier pushes the sheets away from himself, twisting so his legs are off the bed. Gingerly he stands onto his feet seemingly shaky after resting for weeks and I rush forward to stabilize him.

A slight smirk comes onto his face as the dimple pops out and he wraps his hands around my hips tightly as he purposely allows himself to fall backwards onto the bed. Landing right on top of him I let out a loud oomph, despite his gentle grip the sudden fall had knocked the breath right out of me. He looks up at me innocently as I lay on top of him and glare.

"You're going to reopen your wound doing stuff like that." I scold and he leans up pressing a soft kiss to my cheek.

"It doesn't matter." He mumbles against my skin, the feeling of his lips against my cheek causing heat to rise to them and they redden under his touch making his eyes brighten with adoration. He mumbles something under his breath that sounds alarmingly like "I'd like to lick that blush" and I hastily try to push myself off him only to have him pout at me sadly. The crazy lion cub was going to try to lick me.

"Don't go." He mumbles softly, his eyes always grew sad when I pulled away from him, my behaviour before his coma not helping at all.
"I'm right here." I reply softly wrapping my arms tightly around him and squeezing him to me.

"But you should shower, and don't worry I'll ask James to get us something." I say and he smiles nodding, pressing a kiss to my forehead he lets me up. He looks nearly reluctant to let me go, his eyes saddening as my skin leaves his, a fear filling them. Almost as if he were afraid, afraid I'd never let him come so close again, afraid as soon as his hands were off of me I'd cringe away, never to be in his arms again. The feeling of immense satisfaction at having him here was overwhelming, but the underlying fear was undeniable. I too was reluctant to let go of him, but his health was more important than my fears.

Pushing my hair out of my face I let out a deep breath, watching his broad back disappear into the washroom, door closing gently behind him. Silver eyes meeting with mine, a fear in them of me leaving never to return when he lost sight of me. Rushing into my own room, passing some bewildered guards I shut the door behind me. Grabbing a towel I made my way into the washroom, closing it behind me and locking it, before unlocking it. The guards wouldn't dare, and Xavier was too much of a gentleman.

Stripping my clothes off quickly I stepped into the shower, turning the nozzle making the hot water cascade down on my cold skin, relaxing my muscles and flattening my crazy hair to me. Rubbing in some shampoo I rinse it out, adding some conditioner to my washed hair I put some body wash on a loofah rubbing it into my skin. Keeping my hair away from the water, until I was done soaping up, only then allowing the spray to rinse the sweet strawberry smelling conditioner. Rubbing in some of my face wash into my face as well, I stood still under the water for a bit. Letting it cascade over me as I tried not to let my mind wander but it was near impossible.

It was time, time for any misconceptions to be cleared, for me to know him completely and wholeheartedly. See the things he'd hidden from everyone, see the parts of Xavier that I didn't even know existed, to embrace them. Allow them to become as much mine, as they were his. The logical part of me, although not dominant at the moment it was there, and it wondered if I would be able to. My heart refused to believe he was bad, but my mind feared the ruthlessness I had seen in him, wondered if it were possibly explicable. What type of world did that exist in, was that a world I could be a part of. One I'd want to.

Biting into my lip I sighed softly, turning the nozzle shutting off the relaxing spray. Wiping at the steam on the glass of the door with my hand, I pull it open, grabbing the towel and running it over my body. I wrap it around myself firmly before grabbing the second and giving my hair a sound run through, putting it up messily as I walk out of the bathroom and straight into my closet. Putting on my undergarments, I throw on another sweater, opting for jeans this time.

Pulling open my door I walk out of the room, stumbling over my own two feet as I walk towards Xavier's room. I peek in from the doorway to see him sitting on the bed, dressed in a well pressed white dress shirt, and black dress pants. Fiddling with his large fingers, legs hanging off the side of his bed, creases forming around his seated form on the freshly changed sheets.

He was dressed the same way the night of our first kiss, and coincidentally I was wearing the same beige sweater. Eyebrows creased, plump red lips pursed, narrow structured jaw clenched tightly. Tears spring to my eyes, and as I look at him, and suddenly all that I'd been worrying about seems to fade away, unremembered. I step into the room
and he looks up relief clear on his face as he looks at me. Springing up from his spot on his bed he stalks towards me, a smile growing on his face as his eyes rake over my outfit. He remembered.

His arm wounds around my waist and he gently pulls me in to the room, closing the door softly behind me, he presses me against it. Taking a step closer, he wounds both his arms around me as he leans down, eyes flickering from my eyes to lips. His lips descend softly down onto mine, and although physically impossible, it feels as if it's my first time truly breathing in weeks as his lips move against mine, so softly but an urgency lying beneath, so very close to the surface. It's true what they say, actions speak in volumes that words can't. The way our lips moulded together, bodies connecting, no space left in between as if we were made to be together, make it despite the odds, fated. As if we were made for each other, and only one another, never to be apart.

My lips move against his, matching the gentle tone of his kiss. Without uttering a word his lips tell me how sorry he is, how much he loves me, how much he's missed me. I can only hope mine do the same, for there were no words capable of explaining the way I felt, such words weren't created in any language, they couldn't possibly have been. Nobody else could've possibly felt like this and not told the world, not shouted it out, sung songs, painted paintings, written novels, sculpted sculptures about this feeling. But no art form created got even close to describing this feeling.

His tongue runs gently over my bottom lip, making my entire body tremble slightly and his arms tighten around me, tugging me closer. Our hearts beat frantically in our chests, it was indistinguishable which heartbeat belonged to who, perhaps there was no distinction, perhaps they beat together. Perhaps I was as much him as he was me. A faint feeling begins to creep up, and it takes me a moment to realize what it was, as immortal as this feeling was, we weren't. Unfortunately we both needed to breathe. Pushing off of his chest, Xavier parts our lips slightly, enough for us both to catch a breath, but breathing in the same air.
"I love you." He mumbles, his lips brushing against mine with each word.

"I love you." I respond, and just like our first kiss, a smile pops onto his face, dimple popping up on his cheek. Despite what had gone on between us, how long it had been, I'm left just as breathless.

-------------------------------------------------------
Setting his plate down he turns towards me, my eyes brimming with tears that overflow easily onto my cheeks. How sick would a man have to be to do that to his own wife and child, to treat them like dirt, or perhaps even worse. To subject them to such pain and misery, it made me wonder what kind resided within him.

I sniffle softly and cup my hand onto my mouth trying to muffle the sob, I didn't want him to have to comfort me.

"I'm s-so sorry Xavier." I mumble looking up at him, my body jolting upwards with a sob as I use my open palm to wipe the tears off my cheeks.

"No baby don't cry, don't cry for me baby girl, I'm not worthy of those precious tears. You-you understand that she wasn't weak don't you. She wasn't, she was just in so much pain, and so tired, anybody else would've given up long before. But not her, she was not weak, but strong, so strong. She didn't deserve any of it I-I couldn't save her, she was the first I couldn't save, and then my own sister." My heart clenches as I see his glassy eyes grow frantic, many emotions passing through them as he speaks. Desperation for me to understand, for the world to understand and then regret, the kind that tears a man apart, turns him into nothing. I knew a part of what that felt like, and only through the reassurance of the one you felt you betrayed could that be healed, but Xavier had never gotten that.

"It wasn't your fault, you did all you could, but you can't help the actions of the sick twisted people in this world. Good can't always win against the bad, bad has a lot of strength, as much determination as the good may have, the bad has no morals. Your father had none, he was a despicable man, and your mother was so strong Xavier, just like her son." I say softly, and he looks up at me through his lashes, darkened by the dampening of tears.

Holding my arms out to him, despite how much I want to, I don't throw myself at him, embrace him to me. It was up to him to take the support, to accept the comfort, it was important to let him know all of this was in his control, he'd never be forced. Speaking of his past, brought it back for him, he was once again the fourteen year old boy unable to do anything as his mother died in his arms.

Slowly he shuffled closer, wrapping his arms around me, setting the dishes that sat between us on the floor I wrapped my own arms tightly around him. Letting go of me, he lay back onto the bed, opening his arms up to me and I crawled into them, resting my head on his chest, I lay draped over him. Reaching upwards I rubbed my cold thin fingers over the underside of his eyes, wiping away the wetness beneath them.

"I had to leave my hometown, I couldn't stand the questions, the accusing stares. People thought I'd killed their heroic handsome sheriff. I was out on the streets for months, before a man found me. He was a smuggler, but he had a big heart, I worked for him. I was tall and broad for my age, capable bodied and my age made me an unlikely suspect. In return for my services he gave me shelter, paid for my education. Paid for the lawyers of the case I had to fight against the accusations of killing my father, which was alright, but those sick bastards they tried to blame me for my mother's too. Saying I killed her, as if I could ever." I reach out and grab his hand in my free one, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"But they weren't able to, my father's case went on for years. In the end we won, but everyone knew I'd done it. Word spread of the ruthless uncatchable delinquent. But it was still nothing unmanageable. One night, one of my favourite professors, he lived near the university, and I was on my way home when I heard screaming from his home. Then the shadow of a person, banging desperately on the door through the decorative foggy glass at the top of it, but they were pulled back by their long hair. I broke into the home thinking my professor was in trouble, only to see the sick bastard raping his own daughter. She was only 12." He says his voice beginning to crack, and I rub soft circles onto his jaw with my thumb.

"I beat him up, took the girl to my home, I no longer lived with the man but I still worked for him, his wife was unable to have children. They were willing to adopt her. The little girl, she was beautiful, she had hair just like my mother's. That day I realized, this didn't just happen to my mother and I, many others suffered this abuse by people no one would believe were inflicting this type of pain and misery upon others. The type of people one thought were incapable of such actions, the type that easily got away with it. I completed my degree in business, slowly built up Night Enterprises, but on the side I was doing something much more illegal. Word spread of my beating influential men, but no one knew why, and they started calling me The Beast." He said.

"It's how I met some of these men, and the women, they're victims of cases similar to what I went through. They all understand, and they're the ones who wanted to help. Some are more horrific than others. Cole's story is horrible, perhaps even worst than my own. His mother was beautiful, kind like mine, her parents arranged for her to marry Cole's father. A much older man, and he became infatuated with her. Overbearingly possessive to the point where he kept her locked up, forcefully impregnating her numerous times, killing off the children one by one if she stepped out of line." I can't hold back my flinch at his words and Xavier's eyes soften as he notices, I shake my head slightly at the hesitant look on his face. I wanted to hear all he had to say.

"He hired a woman to get the necessities, do the housework, he was a famous marine you see, a taint on the name of veterans and soldiers. But hiring her was his biggest mistake, Cole's mother fell in love with her, and she too loved Cole's mother. He killed off all of her children when he caught them together once, except the eldest, Cole. He forced him to rape the woman, in front of his mother, the sick bastard. In his twisted mind he was defiling and ruining the woman in his wife's eyes. It was at gunpoint, and at the young age of only sixteen, Cole had no choice." Xavier pauses to wipe at the tears I hadn't even realized had once again begun to fall from my eyes. I take a deep breath and squeeze his hand, letting him know he can continue.

"Cole lost all his siblings and his sanity that night, he heard of me a few days later, somehow managed to contact me, and I took care of his father for him. His mother lives with the woman now but very far away, Cole hasn't had the courage to face his mother after that night, still doesn't, and it's been years. All those stories are horrific, but Cole was one of the only ones to give me permission to share his. James' story is connected with Alia, his wife so he can't make that decision. It's how I've earned this reputation, it's what I do angel, I kill people, punish them when the law's unable to, the human embodiment of hell." He says and I shake my head at him, killing was wrong, and I wished with all my heart that Xavier had never killed. Not just due to moral beliefs, but also because of what killing someone can do to a person.

"You've saved lives." I tell him leaning up to kiss his cheek and he shakes his head slowly clenching his eyes shut tight, before reopening them.

"Do you remember that night, I came home absolutely rattled, and wouldn't tell you what was wrong?" He asks and I nod, the first night I'd seen him vulnerable, the night he'd told me he loved me.

"For months I'd been dealing with a case, similar to mine, drunkard sick father, but a cop. His wife had a three year old daughter, she had big brown eyes too, like yours." He says, caressing the side of my face affectionately with the back of his hand, his eyes softening as he gazes at me through lidded eyes.

"He abused them both, even the child, and I came up with a way to get them away from him, far away where he wouldn't find them, at least I'd hoped. He was the who trashed your apartment. Despite my efforts, the database of the police is quite advanced, and he found them, months later but he found them. The sick bastard murdered them both, but not easily, he tortured them, and to my office he sent the eyes of his deceased daughter, for the obvious similarities they held with yours. I couldn't save them Raine, I've let countless die, no matter how much I try, I can't. I can't stop those sick bastards, and if I go to prison, so many would be free to torment the families they are now too afraid to approach. But only because I'm free, but that was the last straw." Xavier says, and I can see how much it tormented him that the innocent woman and child had died.

"He was brutal, so when James told me he'd found him, I couldn't wait a second longer, and I honestly didn't know you were going to be home that night angel. I don't want you to ever be near that pain, that misery, that helplessness. I'm sorry that you witnessed that. But I'm not sorry I did it Raine, I don't know if that makes me the beast everyone says I am, but Raine I can't let you go. I'll stop if that's what you want, just please don't leave me. Please don't leave me baby girl, I'm nothing without you. I need you, but I'll understand if I'm not what you need, what you want, how could you. How could an angel love the beast, how could anyone?" He whispers softly, a tear trailing down his cheek, pressing my lips to it I capture it between them.

Leaning down I press my lips to his softly, our tears mixing as our lips move very gently, simply revelling in the feel of one another's.

"Loving someone isn't to change them to what you deem perfect, but falling for all the little things that's make them who they are. I'm in love with you Xavier, your past doesn't change what I feel for you. Neither does your current work, I don't care if it's deemed illegal, to me you're a hero. You can't save everyone, no one can, but even one life is worth so much Xavier. If you've ever saved one person then you are a hero. You're not a beast, you're my Xavier, you're not a murderer you're my Xavier. You're a man that I'm proud to love, that I'm sure your mother is so proud of. I don't know if this was what she wanted for you, but I know she would've been so proud. It's not right to kill, but I see that you felt as if you had no choice." I tell him looking into the melting silver I'd fallen irrevocably in love with, and there was no turning back. I had no reason to, I'd forever be by the side of this foolish beautiful man, who thought he was a beast due to the moronic claims of society, when really he was trying to protect the innocent. A man of courage, a man worth fighting for, a man to be proud of.

"She wanted me to be a chef, well I wanted to, and she supported me wholeheartedly. My mom would've loved you, I just know she would have. She always wanted me to fall in love with a wonderful kind woman, and I've found more than even she could've hoped for, more than I could've dared to dream of." He says softly pressing a tender kiss to my forehead.

"Good, cause you're stuck with me, even though I really can't cook." I say softly and he smiles softly, pressing a deep kiss to my lips, not moving them, just letting them meet before pulling away his dimple making me smile.

"I'm glad, and I can always cook for you." He says quietly in his husky deep voice, hugging me tightly to his chest.

"I love you." I don't think I'd ever want to stop hearing those words.

"I love you." I reply, and he sighs deeply in content, suddenly pulling me up so that I'm eye level with him.

"Is it bad I don't even want to respond, I just wish to hear you say it again and again. But even then it wouldn't enough, even a lifetime wouldn't be enough. I need eternity with you Raine Pierce, I wish to become yours, to make you mine in every way known to human kind. I'd marry you in every way possible on this earth, following traditions of different cultures and religions, just to unite us in everyone's eyes. Not that anyone's words matter, what anyone else thinks matters, only you mater to me Raine. You're my world, my little love, you're everything I know, everything I could wish for, everything I need, and everything I've ever dreamt of. The beast's beauty. The only good in me is you, the only thing I care about in me is the thought of you, that heart that beats only for you." He says gently, large warm hands caressing over my back gently, raking through my hair. Lips pressing kisses to the skin he can reach as he speaks. His lips press to my own softly.

He was so much more, he'd become my world, and I'd make sure he knew.

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Hello my lovelies, I'm honestly choked up right now. The book is coming to an end, this isn't the last chapter though there will be more, and I'm afraid I'm unable to let go but I'll have to. I can't believe it, my lovelies this book has reached number four in romance. Although rankings do not matter to me, some of my favourites aren't even in the top forties, but this is insane. Thank you my lovelies, for that. I love you all so much, so inexplicably much. Unfortunately my phone and my Wattpad app weren't getting along very well, and I had to suffer the consequences. I get notifications of comments and messages but then I can't see most of them. I'm sorry if I haven't replied to you, I probably did not see what you wrote. I had somebody take a look at it though so everything should work fine now. I hope wherever you are you all find what you're looking for. You find love beyond what you could've dreamed of, or if that's not what you're looking for then you find what it is you are. Most importantly everyone deserves to be happy. Sometimes happiness awaits us, sometimes we have to snatch it, reach out for it whenever you can though my lovelies. I hope you all have a great night.