I tucked my knees into my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around them. Resting my face on the tops of my knees, staring into the large room from where I sat on the floor, leaned against the leg of a large chair. It was as if my eyes could see, but my mind was unable to register what the eyes took in, my mind was off into a dark oblivion, something so restless yet so peaceful I didn't know whether to stay or fight to get out. Fight to break myself out of this self implemented trance. But whether it was safe or not to allow myself to think was another question, one that kept me from finding out. It seemed every time my mind was given a choice it chose to torture me with thoughts of what I'd seen. Horrid memories of his brutality plagued my dreams, corrupting them until they were only my nightmares. My own thoughts had become my demons, but how was one to escape the monsters when they were in your head.

That was the difference between the bliss of childhood, and the miseries of adulthood. Your monsters no longer reside under your bed, but cackled within the depths of your own mind, never to be released, impossible to be ignored. A part of me would always wish I hadn't seen, I didn't know, but I loathed that part, for it connected straight with my heart. My heart wasn't one to be listened to, the heart was foolish, it was naive, it could give great happiness but cause the worst of miseries, sunk us into an abyss so deep hope seemed far away, unreachable. Perhaps that's where I was now, so far in the abyss I couldn't see the rays of hope, that used to shine everywhere.

I'd been trapped in this room for several days now. I'd refused to come out despite his incessant begging, sometimes even bargaining. On the first morning he refused to leave, knocking on my door, calling my name gently, pleading for me to come out and give him a chance to explain. Trying his best to make me open that door just once for him, but I refused. Soon his will began to dwindle and it became a matter only of my meals. He begged for me to just open the door enough for him to slide in a tray of food, but like all his other attempts this too got no response. By nightfall he'd realized I'd rather starve than open that door.
"Raine, I'll be in my room, I promise I won't try to come in, I'm leaving something to eat here, let me know if you want something else. Just please Raine, eat something, go to the kitchen if you'd like I'll stay in my room, I won't even come near you." He says, his deep husky voice getting quieter as he speaks, cracking slightly as he speaks of staying away.

As time went on, his visits grew more infrequent and before my room was always one of his cronies. They paced around the home occasionally knocking on the door and asking if I wanted anything, to which they always got no response, the rest had given up but James still tried. He had been the one to give me the bag I'd dropped that night back, letting me know the plan on my phone had been cancelled. They didn't wish for their prisoner to contact anyone.

They'd begun to get me videos of my lessons, and assigned work from my classes which they would leave outside my door with trays of food. I'd tried to leave the home more then once, but always was stopped, Xavier's men would simply stand in front of the doors staring straight at me. It was usually James babysitting me along with a few other men and he would attempt to coax me into speaking to Xavier, but I refused. James would apologize for my predicament but tell me it was necessary and I would go back into my room, locking the door behind me. They made me uncomfortable to the extent of fear, they'd just stood there while Xavier brutally killed a man, and only the lord knows what the rest of his men did. What the rest of them had witnessed, and not spoken a word of. Hopefully they'd all get bored of me if I wouldn't speak, and perhaps allow me to leave.

Every night in the past few days Xavier would without fail be at my door. Speaking to me gently, but he had always been quiet. Even  in his silence I could feel him there, feel his presence, that had once coloured me with warmth. I could feel him right outside my door, hear his soft steady breaths, he slept out there every night. Right outside my door, perhaps in hopes that I would open up the door, and give him a chance. Allow him to twist up what I had seen with my own eyes, justify what I had witnessed. But I couldn't, not after what I'd seen, now when he starred in my every nightmare. But the trouble that plagued me most was that it wasn't only in my nightmares that I saw him, he was also a part of the sweetest of my dreams.

It was conflicting, how naive or perhaps ignorant the heart could be. It didn't care if it's beloved was a brutal murderer it simply loved, it didn't care if it's beloved was so far off from what it thought him to be, it simply loved him for what the heart had seen. But the heart was foolish it didn't care that I quaked in fear at the sight of him, at the thought of what he'd done. I couldn't possibly listen to something so blissfully ignorant. Give into it's foolish whims.

But the heart was so powerful, it controlled our very being, kept us alive, I would eventually give in if I stayed here, I had to leave. I had to get away from here. I had to get away from him. Love wasn't for everyone, and certainly not fools like me, who fell for someone they knew of only the soft way they spoke to them. The way those eyes softened at the sight of me, for the words those eyes spoke even in silence. The way his embrace enveloped me in his strong safety, the way his kiss could light me up, take away any loneliness and leave me fulfilled. The way his presence could light up my empty skies. The way his words imprinted onto my brain, the way mines did his. Love certainly wasn't for me, and I had to get away from it. Tonight I would leave.

A gentle knock came at the door once more, successfully capturing my attention, knocking me out of the reverie I'd allowed myself to slip into.
"Raine, my love, it's-it's me again. I'm so sorry, would you please give me a chance to explain this all to you, or even give me a hint that you are listening. You've become my world, so quickly, yet so deftly, I can't imagine a world without you in it. But I've taken my angel away from hers, plucked her out of it. It is only for your safety though, please trust me on that baby. I love you more than you can imagine, more then what was comprehensible to me, ever. I'm nothing to be proud of. I have nothing to be proud of, besides my love for you, no one has ever or will ever love someone the way I do you. I hope you sleep well, I hope you've slept every night, I hope you're alright, I hope you're going to be fine, I hope nobody will ever hurt you. But I have, I've hurt you, and for that I won't forgive myself. Sleep well baby, my heart is yours even if you no longer want it, it belongs solely to you, I belong solely to you. I love you." Xavier's deep husky voice, quiet through the door. My heart tightens as he speaks, I could nearly feel him leaning against the door, slumped, defeated. My nose begins to sting, as tears blur my vision once again. His words were my demise, and his love my ultimate doom.

I had to get away, as disgusted as I was by his actions, the heart was far too naive, as well as far too ignorant. The heart was the most selfish and disgusting thing, no one should give into it. I certainly would not, I'd get away before the foolish organ could even try to control me, I'd never let it.

Xavier would most likely sleep continue to sleep outside my door like he had every night, since that one. Using the front door was definitely not one of my options, the only option remaining would be the window. I fell asleep that night with the comfort that it would be my last night sleeping in this house.

The whole day I'd stayed in my room, packing and mentally thanking any divine power for being a total nerd and having an abnormally large backpack. Jay always made fun of me, saying it was quite basically a suitcase that I was constantly lugging around on my back. Throwing in a couple of water bottles I was done packing. It wasn't often that I came out of my room, and just to my luck it was the one man other then Xavier in this house who truly realized I existed, James.

His eyes had widened as soon as my door had opened, making my quick steps falter as I stared back at him wide eyed. I scurried past him and down the stairs, trying to avoid looking back at him. As kind as his green eyes had once appeared, he'd simply stood there as his supposed boss pummelled somebody to death, and then put a bullet through his chest. It was almost odd walking around this house once again, but it wasn't the same as it had once been, it was no longer beautiful and filled with splendour. Now the walls seemed to be covered in blood, and the silence seemed as if it would soon be disturbed my anguished screams. The beauty of the house only reminded me what hid behind appearance, what beauty could possibly hide. Grabbing some water bottles and granola bars, I hid them inside my gigantic sweater. I hoped if any of Xavier's cronies would look at me it'd only seem as if I'd gained a whole lot of weight sitting in that room. I jogged back up the stairs, quickening my pace to get into my room, and slamming the door behind me.

I hadn't responded to any of them for days, my lack of response wouldn't be cause for alarm. Xavier wouldn't come in to check. I would wait until the time they came to give me my dinner everyday. I'd take the tray in and hopefully if I didn't answer or take anything after that they wouldn't care.

It was exactly half past six when the knock came at my door. I waited five minutes before opening the door just enough to slide the large tray in, ladened with food much too lavish for a prisoner. But I wasn't just any prisoner, I was the one whom held the affections of their boss, and having witnessed what Xavier could do when angered, I was fairly sure if I asked any of these men for their fingers on a platter, I'd receive them on a platter of gold.

I put on my comfiest pair of jeans, and a gigantic pullover, along with a pair of old sneakers. I yanked on my jacket over my clothes, zipping it up and patting my clothes down trying to make sure everything was in place. I pushed one of the large chairs that sat in the corner of my room, as quietly as possible, my agitated nerves making it very difficult to push them at the agonizingly slow pace needed. I had to be quiet though, I didn't want any of the men to be alarmed, or even worse, Xavier. He'd knocked down the door before, and that was only on the day he'd heard me sobbing into the phone on the unfortunate day we'd lost Cyrus.

I climbed onto the chair shakily, my backpack strapped safely on my back. My hands grabbed onto the latch of the window, flicking it open, coughing loudly to hide the noise. I pulled open the window slowly, cringing at even the slightest noise it made. I put my hands on the ledge, trying to propel myself upwards. Mentally cursing myself for never exercising, and not paying attention in gym class, hoping my English mark would round up my average.

Somehow I'd managed to get myself through that window, but now the only problem was safely getting to the ground. I barely controlled the yelp that threatened to escape me as the cold wind blew harshly, nearly knocking me off the shaky footing I'd gotten on the window ledge on the first floor, I'd accidentally stumbled and somehow landed onto it. I crouched down onto it, trying desperately to cling to the near flat walls, and rested my hands onto the ledge my feet were currently on. I let out a shaky breath, slowly twisting my feet around, until I was facing the wall of the house. Clenching my eyes shut I slowly slid my feet off of the ledge, my thin fingers clenching desperately onto the ledge that I now hung from. Every muscle in my body tense, as I slowly lowered myself further, before completely letting go of the solid grasp my hands had. I would've been ecstatic if I'd landed on my feet, but seeing as to how clumsy I was regularly I was quite happy with how far I'd managed to get.

I rubbed my rear as I got up, looking up at the house once before turning and racing towards the trees. Never had I been so glad Xavier's home was so secluded. I raced through the trees, the powdery snow a gentle white blanket over the crisp leaves left over as a sweet memory of the summer. The leaves crunched beneath my feet, each footstep resounding within the silence of the forest. The brilliance of the bright green pine trees were a vision for my watering eyes. The cold was harsh tonight, I could see every laboured breath I took, my cold white breath blowing before my face, blood rushing to flushed cheeks and nose surely reddening them. My thin pale hands reddening in the ruthless cold, and I clenched them together hoping to preserve the heat within them.

I was already panting in absolute exhaustion and I wasn't even halfway there. Sadly the path through the forest to town forced you to go around, and was a lot lengthier then the road. The sky was nearly completely dark now, the sun having fallen so far from its high pedestal. My skin was nearly burning, despite how it froze and I tried to ignore it. I had to keep going, I had to get myself far away from the home so even when they started looking I'd already be in the midst of civilization and Xavier wouldn't be able to do anything. Although it was doubtful Xavier would even realize I wasn't in my room since I did never respond to him.

I came to a stop, bending over and clutching my knees. I let my bag drop off of my shoulder, a loud crunch resounding as the heavy bag hit the ground. Perhaps resting for just a few minutes wouldn't hurt. I shuffled closer to the large tree behind me allowing myself to drop down and lean back against it. The skin seared the back of my jean covered legs but I didn't care. Opening the zip of the backpack I pulled out one of the water bottles. The rough plastic on the cap harsh against the frozen skin of my hands as I pried the water bottle open, guzzling the water down thirstily.

I rested back against the tree, letting my head rest against it as my chest rose and fell rapidly. My abnormally quick heart rate worsened by the sudden exercise, it was all I could hear in the silence of the large forest. My head snapped to the right as I heard a slight rustling. It was quite possibly an animal, but I refused to take any chances. I got back onto my feet, swinging my backpack back onto my back with far more effort then it should've taken. I had a lack of blood and any physical exertion reminded me of that. I should've listened to the doctor when he'd asked me to start exercising in moderation to help stabilize my heart beat, or at the least held back on the sugar cookies.

I started off with a slow jog, slowing as I heard a loud branch cracking from far behind me, but it was the faint yell that had me freezing in my tracks.
"Raine." Came the deep husky voice, anguish laced so thickly within it. Xavier had realized I wasn't in the room, perhaps I wasn't the only one who could sense him. I rested my hand on my chest, trying to slow my alarmingly quick heart rate. Putting one foot in front of the other again, until I was back to my quick jog, I darted my way through the trees.

All that was audible to me, was the blood rushing through my ears, my feet slapping against the frozen ground. My breaths were near gasping as my feet created as much distance as possible between the man I'd seen as so predatory. Perhaps it was engraved within us, we were animals after all, one would always be the predator, and the other would always become the prey. It was part of the human psychology, that survival instinct and it awakened every time we felt the dreaded fear that somebody would take away what we all thought so precious, our life, our freedom. It didn't matter how dreadful ones existence may be, there would always be a part that wished to live, to continue on, give life another chance, to prove itself to be better, that was humanity. We would always have hope. My body trembled as memories of Xavier ruthlessly beating the man that had laid so pitifully before him came to mind.
"Raine please come out, please baby it's not safe please I'm begging you." Xavier yelled, his voice gaining clarity, the desperation so clear within it. He had no idea how close he was.

I plastered myself against a tree, peeking over my shoulder into the dark night, my heart clenching in fear as I made out the large figures headed towards me, bright flashlights held within their grasp. I gulped thickly, if I stayed here they might find me as they walked by. I didn't know how but I was sure Xavier would know, but there was no possible way that man would walk right by me, without sensing me, he would know. He would know and I would be caught.

I crept the other way slowly, they seemed to be going straight, probably after my footsteps and I was praying they wouldn't realize I'd veered off my path straight to town. I tried to keep my footsteps light, and stayed close to the trees. I twisted my backpack so it was in front of me, not wanting the bit of metal to glint in the dark night and irk their curiosity. I wrapped my arms around the bag, trying to keep my steps light but quick, wincing as I stepped on a long thin fallen branch. My heart beat quickening as I froze for a moment, waiting for any sign that he had heard but as none came I was assured again. I started walking again trying to be a bit more mindful now.
"Raine." His husky whisper rang out in the silent night, and my blood seemed to freeze in my veins as I came to a halt, my heart beat picking up tenfold until it felt as if it was trying to beat its way out of my chest.

"Please stop love." He asked from behind me, the leaves crunching beneath his feet knocked me out of my trance and I whirled around, allowing my bag to drop onto the floor.
"S-stay away from me." I warned looking at him with wide eyes.
"Please love listen to me it's dangerous out here, just come home with me, where it's safe." He pleads his stormy grey eyes desperate as they raked over my petite form, trying to take in every inch of me, the way a deprived dehydrated man would water.

"I'm not going to hurt you I promise, I won't even come near you, love please just come back, I promise it's only for a few days as soon as the danger is eliminated, I-I'll let you go." His deep husky voice cracking, stormy grey eyes filling with an agonized defeat as the words leave his plump red lips. I bite into my bottom lips swallowing dryly, averting my eyes from his.
"N-no." I stuttered out, taking shaky steps away from him. My breath hitching as my back hits something firm, I peeked over my shoulder not wishing to take my eyes off the man who stood before me for too long. My hand pressed against the rough bark as I used it to propel myself forwards. My hair whipping onto my face as my feet hit the ground rapidly.
"Raine." He yelled from behind me but I paid no heed to him, focused solely on getting away. But I wasn't that lucky, there was no way he was letting me go so easily.

His large arm wound tightly around my waist and I was yanked off my feet as he pulled my back into his large form chest. The warmth radiating off of it warming my skin through the layers I'd adorned. I'd almost forgotten how warm he always was, his warmth had always felt so nice against my skin but not today, today it was a reminder of my captivity. I struggled against his hold, my legs kicking out before me in attempts to get him to release me.
"Let go of me." I yelled at him.
"No." he said softly, wounding his other arm around me too, his whole body caving in towards me, completely enveloping me within his warmth, his scent filling my senses. But I couldn't let him get me, not this time.

I kicked backwards, immediately throwing my elbow back towards his face as well, and shocked his firm grip around me loosened slightly but it was all I needed. In my haste to get away, in my panic at being caught I hadn't even realized we weren't alone. Somebody watched us carefully, and it wasn't Xavier's men. I ran straight ahead, nearly slipping on my own feet in my desperation to get away.

The trees blurred past me as I ran, the cool wind whipping against my skin harshly. My breaths laboured, my only thought being to escape. The night sky so dark, the moon's light caught in the tall trees, I could barely see a few feet in front of me, my only flashlight in the bag carelessly tossed somewhere behind me.
"No Raine." His voice yelled out behind me, Xavier's deep husky voice so loud that my insides quaked at his words.

Large hands wrapped tightly around my waist, and before I could even mutter a word in protest, I was airborne. Not even a scream escaped me as I was tossed aside, hitting the ground roughy, at the same time that a loud deafening boom was heard. The very sound I'd never hoped to ever hear again.

The sound of the bullet as it flew through the cold air, finding its mark. My eyes widened as they connected with two stormy grey ones. My heart completely stopping in my chest as the bullet finally embedded itself within its mark, within his chest, the wrong chest. That should have been me. That bullet had hit the wrong person. I watched him crash down to his knees, time seeming to slow as he continued to look at me, not even sparing a glance at the bullet wound. His mouth formed my name and I threw myself at him, my arms wrapping around his wide shoulders, my body being pushed back along with him as he fell backwards, making me crumple down to my knees, resting on my hunches.

I cradled his head in my hands, as it rested in my lap, his eyes still on my face. I barely even registered the men that ran past me heading straight for the shooter, more gunshots ringing through the silence, but I kept my eyes on the grey stormy ones locked on mine. My trembling hands caressing his dark silky hair away from his face. He mouthed my name gently, his stormy eyes filled with pain, softening slightly giving way to something more as my name slipped past his plump red lips. Love and admiration mixing in the storm of his eyes as he gazed into my eyes. He grabbed my small pale hand in one of his own, bringing it down to his lips he pressed a gentle kiss to my palm.

"Don't cry." He whispered to me softly, and only then did I become aware of the tears that trailed down my cheeks. I shushed him gently, raking my fingers through his hair, my brain unable to conjure up any thought. The man I loved lay before me on the cold ground, his deep red blood seeping into the white snow, staining it a deep dark red.

I pulled away from him quickly, yanking my jacket off and pressing it to the wound on his chest. I applied pressure to it, pressing down on his wound with both of my hands, but his large hand caught a hold of my smaller pale hand, and he brought it back to his hair, a soft heart breaking whimper escaping his lips.

Footsteps rushed towards us but I kept my eyes locked onto his, my arms tight around him, completely unable to move. People surrounded us, but I stayed unable to move, only tightening my hold on Xavier.
"Raine, we're just trying to help him." James said quietly leaning down next to me but I was unable to move. Large hands wrapped gently around my shoulders, pulling me away from Xavier. Xavier's eyes stayed locked on me, his strong jaw clenching tightly as I was pulled away from him.

He reached his large hand out to me, as his men hoisted him up into the air. His eyes stayed staring into mine as they walked. Frantic voices were all around us, some speaking to each other, some to Xavier and perhaps some to me. I rushed along behind them, keeping my gaze on Xavier's as they made their way towards a trail where a large SUV awaited them. Xavier's lids began to droop as it became increasingly difficult for him to keep his eyes open.
"I love you." He whispered to me just as his eyes dropped shut, having softened completely to that melting silver I adored so much as the words escaped his lips. Even through all the frantic voices, and the sound of the engine, I'd somehow heard him.

"I love you too." I answered back.

A/N--------------------------------------------------
Hello my lovelies, I know this took a long time and that after the last chapter you guys wanted a quick update. I've just been unable to write and really this chapter isn't something I'm extremely proud of. I hope you guys like it though. I'm going to have a busy month ahead of me so just be patient with me my loveliest I promise I'm always trying I have so many drafts for each chapter, it's not only time that keeps me from posting. It's also when I'm too overwhelmed to the point where my mind can't sink into this story, can't conjure up another chapter, like writer's block really. I do try though, I promise, my attempts just are rarely successful. I hope you all are having an amazing year so far. Have a great night my lovelies.