Lebedev sat beside Natalya, looking lazily out of the car window.

Natalya stared only at her fiddling fingers.

She supposed she should want to savour her last glimpses of Moscow; the couples strolling along the Moskva; St Basil's Cathedral peering down on the city below; even the fashion house she worked for on the entrance to Arbat Street.

What should be sacred was only taunting and oppressive.

Why Lebedev insisted on escorting her home, Natalya did not know. It couldn't be based on sentiment. After his display yesterday, Natalya was entirely certain that Lebedev harboured a hollow heart.

'Tell me something,' he said eventually, cutting across the thrum of the wheels against the road.

She sighed heavily, already weary of his presence. 'What?'

'Why didn't you tell me the truth about Yelena?'

Frozen, Natalya was plunged into the icy depths of her memories. 'The truth?'

'It was plain that your account of what happened to Micha was truthful, yet you fumbled over that child.' There was a long pause, the whirring wind against the windows filling the small space. 'At the time, I thought you were just tired. That the death of a baby girl was simply too much for you. Thinking on it, I'm doubtful.'

Natalya's toes curled in her shoes, as though to stop her tumbling from this edge he had pushed her towards. 'Why not have me executed too, then?'

He finally met her gaze, holding it with ease. 'Because I'm certain it was an accident on your part.'

How on earth could he be sure of that? Natalya shifted to sit up straighter. 'You are?'

Lebedev's only movement was the slight sway of his body that mirrored the curve of the street.  'The things you do in earnest you do with pride, whether they are reasonable or not. Now, you reek only of regret.'

Natalya supressed the bile that gurgled in her throat. 'You should have lined me up beside Sasha.'

'You didn't commit the crime that he did.' He pondered a moment longer. 'And really, this is a far worse punishment for you. You'll eat yourself from the inside out, stuck in Siberia, totally alone.'

Inhaling a choked breath, Natalya's skin crawled under his gaze. 'Your cruelty is far worse than Potapov's.'

'It's justice, Natalya Dmitryevna. Though I understand why you find that so confusing given how stupid you've been.'

They said nothing else for the rest of the journey, Natalya too intent on hiding her tears. She had her grandmother to focus on now. All too soon, the black car pulled to an abrupt halt in the courtyard and Natalya glanced up at the apartment.

She was sure it would be the shortest hour of her life.

'There is some mercy in this ruling,' said Lebedev. 'It will teach you how to behave.'

Natalya looked back at him, searching herself for her spark. 'Or it will make me more defiant.'

'I hope not, for your sake. I was kind enough to spare you Vorkuta-'

'Kind?'

'Trust me, exile is a far lesser punishment than a camp. It will just be you and a few petty offenders working off your debt there. You'll still be able to write to your family. It might even seem normal after a while. A perfect place to learn from your mistakes.'

The seat creaked beneath Natalya as she turned towards him again. Rage shook through her, twisting inside her gut so violently she was surprised it didn't somehow contort her entire body. 'Then why be so kind if I'm as stupid and treacherous as you make out?'

'I believe you can be redeemed. And you'd best prove me right.'

Holding back her anger, Natalya stepped out of the car door only to be met with a flurry of footsteps.

Ekaterina had already rushed downstairs.

Natalya swallowed hard. Her grandmother looked so unkempt, straggling grey hairs adorning her un-made face. Tears welled in her eyes again. How was she supposed to tell her grandmother the truth of her situation?

'I came the moment I saw the car,' Ekaterina managed, making towards her granddaughter.

Surging forward, Natalya threw her arms around Ekaterina. They clutched one another so tightly, so desperate for the familiarity.

'I'm so glad you're home,' breathed Ekaterina.

Natalya hid further into her grandmother's shoulder, unable to utter the truth. She clutched her tight, memories of their life together dancing through her mind, like taunting shadows of the life she would lose.

Ekaterina pulled back a little to look at Lebedev. Her expression soured.

'Good morning, Ekaterina Romanovna,' said Lebedev cordially.

They knew one another?

Instead, she stood firm, her eyes narrowed a little. 'Commander Lebedev. Thank you for escorting my granddaughter home.'

Natalya squeezed her grandmother's hand, but Ekaterina ignored her.

Lebedev studied his subjects carefully, prudent to the power he had over his next choice of words. 'She only has an hour to pack a suitcase. Then I shall take her to the train station.'

Ekaterina's cheeks drained white as her jaw clenched. 'I'm sorry?'

Seeing her grandmother this way was unbearable. Ekaterina had always been Natalya's source of strength, the one person that could lift her. Now, she seemed empty.

'She's being sent to Siberia.'

Her grandmother's face remained blank. 'Siberia?'

'A village called Pikhtovka.'

'There must be some mistake-' Ekaterina spluttered.

'No, grandmother, there isn't,' managed Natalya, desperate to end this conversation. 'I'm to do five years labour.'

Sucking in a breath, Ekaterina took in what her granddaughter had said. Natalya looked up into the eyes that so perfectly mirrored hers. They seemed just as soulless as her own reflection must be. Looking straight at the floor, Natalya let her shame press down on her and making her limbs heavy.

Ekaterina lifted her chin, her small, delicate hand cupping Natalya's cheek. 'Let's get you packed and bathed for the trip.'

'She has an hour-' reminded Lebedev.

The glare Ekaterina gave him showed some small semblance of her ferocity had been suddenly regained. 'We will need every minute of that time.'

To Natalya's surprise, he simply nodded, and sat back in the car. Perhaps his games were at an end.

Their hands locked in a tight squeeze, Ekaterina led Natalya to their apartment. 'I'll draw you a bath whilst you start your packing.'

Natalya nodded lightly as she followed her grandmother inside. She breathed in deeply, enjoying the familiar scent. This would be the last time she smelled it for five years. It choked her.

Her grandmother shut the front door, a heavy silence cloaking them both. Ekaterina stared at the door for a moment, seemingly composing herself.

Natalya's throat ached with everything she wanted to say. Yet, every time her lips parted, they abandoned her. To say them would be goodbye.

Perhaps their final goodbye.

Ekaterina turned, her eyes red with un-cried tears. She pressed her hand on Natalya's back for the briefest of moments before she bustled away.

            Alone, Natalya strode into her bedroom and pulled out her suitcase from under the bed. It seemed best to focus on practical things. She began to pack as quickly as she could. It wasn't difficult. She still had not moved all of her belongings from the home she had shared with Sasha, so there was not a lot to look for.

Her wedding ring glinted in the sun, and she paused her efforts. It was a simple band, especially thin to suit her delicate fingers. She pulled Sasha's out of her coat pocket to inspect it alongside. It was so big in comparison. Clenched in her palm, she pressed it to her lips as tears finally spilled down her cheeks.

This was all that was left of him now. She couldn't take this with her. What if she lost it, or it was stolen? Then he would just be a nobody forgotten to the endless stretch of eternity.

Slowly, Natalya teased her own off her finger to place them together on her dresser. Sat on her bed, she looked at them. She could almost see herself and Sasha dancing together in the rings' surface, as they had done the night they met. The violins echoed in her mind, the feel of Sasha's broad shoulders etched into her palms.

The taps in the bathroom soon squeaked off.

'Liya?' called her grandmother before she stepped into her room. She inspected her granddaughter's swollen, tearstained cheeks, Natalya unable to hide them any longer. 'Liya?'

'They came for you.' Natalya's voice cracked.

'Who?' Ekaterina was taken aback.

'The militsiya.'

Ekaterina's nostrils flared as she released a long breath. 'Commander Lebedev did, yes.'

Natalya immediately clutched Ekaterina's hand, holding it to her chest. That kozyol. 'Are you all right?'

'Yes, of course. It will take more than a man in uniform to shake me, you know that.' There was a small pause, Natalya smoothing the wrinkles across her grandmother's skin. 'He just wanted to know about Alexander. Not that I could really tell him anything-'

'When was that?'

'About a week ago.'

Slumped further on her bed, Natalya pressed her cheek into her grandmother's palm. So he had visited Ekaterina after Natalya had been taken to his office that first time. He didn't miss a trick. 'He promises me you will not be interrogated further.'

'Me? What about you? And Alexander?'

All Natalya could bring herself to do was point to the rings on the dresser.

Ekaterina picked them up to lay flat in her hand. 'So, you're officially separated.'

Natalya's eyes screwed shut, Sasha's echoing final words ringing in her head. 'No.'

Then it dawned on Ekaterina. 'Oh Liya-' she began, but Natalya whimpered. Hastily, she placed the rings down again. 'Come along, liybimaya. Let's get you washed.'

Herding Natalya to the bathroom, Ekaterina helped her slip her clothes off. Natalya simply stared up at the light pooling in from the tiny window. It should have been years since her grandmother had last done this with her. Really it was only weeks.

The day that she had lost Micha and Yelena, she had thought only to run straight here. Ekaterina had soothed her then, bathed her, taken care of her. She always did.

Steadying Natalya, Ekaterina guided her towards the bath, supporting her arm as she lowered her in. The water was hot, and soothing. Ekaterina dragged a stool in and sat behind the tub with a hairbrush in her hand. 'Lean back. I'll brush your hair.'

Obediently, Natalya did so, looking at the wall opposite her. This was exactly like when she was small. She knew that was why her grandmother was doing this; one last time.

'Can you write to me?' Ekaterina asked after a while.

Natalya sunk into the water a little more, the bite from the heat strangely comforting. 'I think so. It's not one of the camps, so I think it's just about what I can afford.'

Silence fell again, the conversation pained and stunted and the leaky tap a constant reminder.

'Could I send you money? Gifts, more clothes-'

'Yes, but you don't need to.'

'Hush. I'll do what I like,' Ekaterina said sternly, though her voice wavered.

Natalya managed a small smile before it quickly faded again. There was no way to avoid the question hovering on her trembling lips. 'Will you be all right here, on your own?'

Ekaterina took a deep breath. 'I'll be just fine, it's only five years.' Her voice shook with every word.

Natalya's heart hurt so much, as though it was sinking in her chest.

A lot could happen in five years.

It would mean not hearing her grandmother's voice every day. It would mean the absence of her smell, her touch, her wisdom. They would both be alone, half a world away from one another.

Ekaterina always told Natalya she had lived through enough stress for several lifetimes. What if this was a step too far? What if Natalya's own foolishness was the reason she wouldn't be here if her grandmother's spirit gave up and left this world completely?

A lot could happen in five years.

'Should I tell your father?' Ekaterina's words cut through Natalya's turmoil.

'I don't see why he should care,' replied Natalya. 'It's been three years since I last saw him. What would be the point?'

'I understand.'

There was a pause. Each drip from the tap was a tick on the clock. Another moment lost to cowardness.

'I'm so sorry, grandmother.'

Ekaterina was quick to stop her. 'This is not your fault. This is your foolish husband's fault.'

'He paid the price for it,' cut in Natalya.

Drip. Drip. Drip. Time was not on their side.

'Do you remember your first love?' Ekaterina asked suddenly.

'My first love?' said Natalya, her brow furrowed.

'The little boy, Vladimir, from summer camp.' Natalya could hear the smile in her grandmother's words.

'I suppose so.'

'You came home and told me you would marry him,' chuckled Ekaterina. 'You talked of nothing but him for the next year. Always a world away with him.'

Natalya managed a small giggle. 'Yes... but then he came back next year and had forgotten who I was.'

'I remember! Your bruised knuckles didn't heal for months.'

Giving into full belly laughs, the water splashed over the sides of the bath as Natalya writhed through her fits of giggles. Her grandmother joined in, sitting back to avoid the water.

Then the laughter ebbed away.

'Why did you think of Vlad?'

Ekaterina sucked in a breath. 'It wasn't him. It was you. I just needed something to hold onto.'

It was time.

'I'm really going to miss you, grandmother.'

'I'll miss you too, my Liya.'

As if she could hold herself back no longer, Ekaterina threw her arms around Natalya, clutching her close as her nose buried in her hair. Natalya gripped her arms and kissed her hand, her face crumpled as she descended into the sobs that had plagued her.

Ekaterina rocked them gently, her own face damp and swollen. 'You will get through this,' she promised her. 'You are strong, my Liya, so incredibly strong.'

Natalya's chest heaved underneath her grandmother's arms. 'Promise me you'll look after yourself.'

'You have my word. I will be here waiting for you.'

'Grandmother-'

'I mean it. I'm not going anywhere. Not until you are home safe and in my arms again. You are the most precious thing in the entire world. I love you, with all my heart.'

Natalya gripped her tight. 'As I love you.'

They held each other close. The love they had for one another enclosed them in a final moment of serenity; a simple gift amidst the harrowing future emptiness.