I wake up slowing. I can't even recall when I got back to sleep. My memory is foggy... And my back hurts...

"Oh fiddlesticks..." I mumble, regaining full consciousness.

Genevieve stirs beside me.

"What about fish sticks?" she mutters groggily, still half asleep.

"Gen wake up!" I say gently shaking her.

She slowly opens her eyes and sits up.

"What's wrong?" she asks, still sounding distant.

"What time is it?" I ask nervously looking at the sky to try to figure out where the sun is.

Genevieve shrugs and rubs her eyes.

I couldn't really tell at all. It felt like about the time I'd be walking to school.

School? I hadn't even thought about going back to that place.

"I've gotta get home," I say frantically.

"My family is probably freaking out currently."

It suddenly dawns on Gen what happened.

"Oh snap dragons we fell asleep didn't we?"

I let myself chuckle faintly.

"Snap dragons huh?" I tease.

"I'm using that one."

She lets a smile escape her lips.

"Hey... You wanna come with?" I offer.

Her eyes dart down to the ground.

"I've still gotta think and pray," she informs me.

I nod.

"Well you know where we are now, right? Just come on over if you want a place to hang out for the night," I say.

"Or any time of day for that matter."

She nods, not even attempting a smile.

I just sit there awkwardly, not wanting to leave but knowing I have to. I felt like the moment I was away from Genevieve the hole in my heart would  begin to hurt more than it did when I was with her.

I finally stand up and start making my way out of the ditch willing myself to hold in the tears.

"Bridge, wait," Genevieve calls.

I stop and turn my head to look at her. Genevieve begins climbing up until she's standing next to me and both of us are looking out onto Q Street. The McDonalds sign that had fallen was replaced with a new one. House skeletons and repair trucks were everywhere.

"Funny how right after the tornado struck no one thought we'd ever get back on her feet," she starts, staring out at the world.

"But look. We're on our way to coming together. It takes time and the memory will always hurt but we'll pull through."

Unable to fight anymore, I let the tears fall. I know she's trying to reassure me that everything will be fine; time will heal. I'm not sure it will though. Just when I'm about to start walking again, Gen resumes talking.

"If your eyes are on the storm, you'll wonder if I love you still. But if your eyes are on the cross, you'll know I always have... And I always will."

I turn to face her with curious eyes.

"Where'd you hear that?"

"It's lyrics to a song. They played it in my church once," she answered simply.

I felt a wave of emotion. I couldn't put my finger on what exactly I was feeling, which made it all the more overwhelming. I didn't know what God was doing. For Heaven's sake I'd only just accepted Him. But I had learned the fundamental fact of my newfound faith.

God is love.

And He was feeling this hurt with me.

The God who breathed me into existence, was hurting with me and for me.

Overwhelmed with what I now recognize as a feeling of unworthiness, I throw myself at Genevieve and sob on her shoulder. She embraces me back, squeezing tightly.

I don't want to let go.

     ______________________

I arrive back home to find Ben to be the only one awake. Or the only one who decided to hop out of bed.

When I come in through the front door at eight in the morning, I except him to interrogate me, but he barely glances at me. He looks so defeated.

I want to call everyone together and announce that God is real and He can help us but.... I'm also a coward. I don't feel like being called stupid or even wrong. I was still too weak as far as faith goes for that.

"Hey," I say warily.

Ben looks up from his phone.

"Hey."

I sit down beside him. Suddenly, he throws his phone at the wall. I'm so startled, I nearly fall onto the floor.

"Ben, wha-?"

"What do think Bridget??? I'm mad at the whole freakin world?" he snaps.

His outburst hurt more than I would've thought. I'm not sure which is scarier, what had just happened, or what happened next. Ben started crying. Bawling, more like. Through his tears he whispers,

"I'm sorry Bridge, you know I didn't mean..."

"It's ok," I manage to utter through the lump in my throat.

It's silent for a moment. Then, Megan and Michelle walk into the room.

"What fell in here?" Megan asks.

No one answers but Megan's eyes have gone wide at the sight of Ben's shoulders violently shaking and tears streaming down his face.

Michelle mutters,

"My friend said they're starting school back up tomorrow. Whatever mess the tornado left over there is fixed up. Perfect timing."

She sits down and puts her head in her hands. I wish she'd just roll her eyes or make a sarcastic joke about school being a waste of our lives.

"You're kidding," groans Megan before adding,

"Well who cares. No way am I going."

School. Natalie. Katrina.

They still didn't know. My goodness, Liam didn't even know yet. The thought brings fresh tears to my eyes. I run to my room, ignoring the pitiful glances and calls of my siblings. I hated seeing them all like this. I couldn't take it.

I couldn't take any of this.