Lacy and I sneak back into our hotel room, suppressing giggles. We've trailed sand throughout the whole hotel and my hair looks like a rat's nest. I'm not sure our pajamas have any hope of ever being the same again but I throw them in our laundry bag anyway, after changing and putting Lacy in the bathtub.

I'm hoping that everyone's so tired that the running water won't wake them.

As I'm turning towards the tub to start cleaning Lacy, I barely catch a glimpse of what looks like pain on her face. Concerned I ask,

"You ok, Hon?"

I'm still learning what exactly happens in a person who has leukemia, to be honest, and any sign of discomfort makes me worried something's wrong. But Lacy swallows and assures me she's ok.

"O... Ok..." I reply hesitantly.

I turn on the water so the tub can fill, then run into the bedroom for a quick moment, so I can grab my phone and look up the nearest hospital.

     ______________________

Lacy is clean and changed and I'm just stepping out of the bathroom when I run into a sleepy eyed Megan.

"What the heck are you doing?" she asks groggily. She eyes Lacy who had been reading in a chair awkwardly placed right outside the bathroom.

"I took a shower," I reply matter-of-factly.

"No, duh," she returns.

I grin. In some ways she reminds me so much of Michelle. In other ways, they're like night and day.

I turn my back to her and squeeze my wet hair over the sink. She seems too out of it to even ask my I'm up so early.

But when I wheel around I realize her eyes have spilled over and she won't stop staring at Lacy.

"... Megan?"

She slowly turns her gaze to meet my eyes.

"How did you say you found her again?"

"My friend... She ummm.. Visited her regularly without knowing she was my sister," I answer, throwing my towel on the floor.

"Natalie?"

"No... Her name's Genevieve."

"Genny!" Lacy squeals.

Megan looks confused.

"Have I met her?"

I start to shake my head but then remember that she actually had.

"Yeah she's the girl who came to visit me when I got the concussion."

"Ohh yeah..." She says recalling that day.

"Well I need to thank her," she says.

"Without her..."

She bites her lip to try to keep the tears from coming any longer. I can't imagine what she's thinking, but at the same time, I know exactly what she's feeling. It's a weird sensation.

The feeling of utter joy mixed with grief. Lacy's here with us but we don't know for how much longer.

We were supposed to go before her. We were supposed give her advice on how to survive middle school and high school. We were supposed to tell her not to date just to date feel popular; it doesn't work anyway. We were supposed to aunts to her children.

The thoughts are ones that are usually reserved until you've actually lost someone.... And it scares me. But I can feel it in the way Megan walks up to Lacy and sits with her in her lap.

She doesn't have much hope left.

And I'm not sure if I do either.

The only one with any hope seems to be Lacy herself.

I clutch my hair till I feel I'll rip it out, clinging to the memory of this morning on the beach even though it happened no less than an hour ago. I don't want it to slip away.