We had decided, that we would keep 'us' a secret from the others, because we'd never hear the end if it if they found out.  

I felt so relieved that Ryan seemed to understand where I was coming from; he didn't say all that much in response but neither did he object

But it was a nightmare; I’d been itching to kiss him all day but there was always someone around.

ARGH, you know, I thought that once I had a taste of him, the cravings would subside.

Wrong. They only got stronger.

My gaze was constantly drawn to him, always watching him. I couldn’t even remember when it was that he became so important to me.

A thick blanket of snow covered the street and all of us decided to go outside and fool around in it.
Luke and Rose were making snow angels on the ground while Kim and Alyssa shook their heads and laughed in amusement.

I started to make a snowman and felt excited to have some semi-alone time with Ryan the minute I saw him go into the house and come back out with a carrot in hand.

Just as we were putting the finishing touches on our amazing masterpiece, I asked just quietly enough for Ryan’s ears alone,
“Hey mister snowman, will you be my date to the winter formal? Oh wait a sec,” I took Ryan’s glasses and stuck them into the head of our snowman.

“Hey snow Ryan, will you be my date?” I asked again, “what’s he saying real Ryan? I can’t hear him.” I smiled impishly at him and knew he got the hint from the way his eyes had widened in shock.

Ryan leaned in so that his ear was next to where our snowman’s pebble mouth was. “Mhmm, yes I see, ok I’ll tell her.” He pretended to talk to the cute lump of snow.

I loved how he was playing along and didn’t tell me I was stupid or childish like other guys had in the past.

“Snow Ryan says that he’d love to, but he doesn’t have any legs so he asks if real Ryan can take his place?”

“Hmm I you’ll do I guess, even though you’re lacking in the pancake-making area.”

"Hey I could have made nice pancakes for breakfast but someone distracted me"

" if I recall it was you who kissed me and let the pancake burn"

"Admit it, you wanted to kiss me." he said smirking at me,

"Hang on, it was all your idea, rejecting my high five and spinning me around!"

"Yes but you weren't complaining sweetheart"

"ARGH! You, you seduced me!" I exclaimed

" I seduced you? So you're saying that me, with bed head and squinty half asleep eyes, in an apron, covered in flour at 7 am in the morning, turns you on?" He replied amusedly.

"Yes! Wait what-"

It did though, it really did. And if he was wearing nothing but the apron... Geez! I had to stop with the erotic thoughts...I don't know if it was healthy how often I fantasised about Ryan touching me, kissing me, even just holding me.

But he didn't have to know that.

" I never knew you had a breakfast fetish..." He said with a cheeky smirk

"Hey! I don't hav-"

"What would have happened if I was making bacon?!" He gasped in mock disbelief

"Ok that's it!" I launched a snowball at him and it hit him smack bang between the eyes.

oh snap….maybe that wasn’t the greatest idea.

I saw his lips purse as he raised his hand to swipe away the snow on his glasses.
"You want to play games? Be prepared"

"Bring it on cookie" I said winking confidently at him. I was buzzing with adrenalin, trying to anticipate his next move. His eyes locked with mine and never left them even as his hands reached slowly behind him.

I knew what I was doing and I knew I should run, my muscles tensed up in preparation and I consciously willed myself to go, but he and I were engaged in stand off.

It was an unspoken mutual understanding that the first one to break eye contact would be admitting defeat.
Although I wouldn't mind losing to Ryan if it meant he would look at me this way when we had s-
Shit! Not again. I mentally slapped myself and looked away for a split second to dispel yet another wayward thought.
 But that one second was all it took for Ryan to chuck the head of our now decapitated snowman at me.

I silently thanked God for quick reflexes as I ducked and commando rolled out of the way just in time.

He wanted to play dirty? I can play dirty.

 "Catch me if you can,” I taunted, “you'll have to, because your aim is terrible!"  I gave him a thumbs down and took off as fast as I could in the opposite direction.

Almost immediately after, I felt the sharp thwack of a snowball hitting my butt.  Ok so maybe I was wrong about his aim being terrible.

I let out a squeal of surprise and turned around to see Ryan doubled over in laughter while I rubbed my sore buttcheek to ease the pain.

I quickly compressed a ball of snow in my hands and hurled it towards his crotch. Unfortunately he snapped to attention just in time and stumbled backwards out of the way.
"Oh that was low, even for you!" he glared at me
"All's fair in love and war" I laughed and blew him a kiss.

 But even though it was only a joke, a saw a faint blush tinge his cheeks and my heart skipped a beat.

*BANG*
The sound of someone slamming a door open re-focused our attention.
The others had gone back inside long ago while we had chosen to stay outside with our amazing snowman, well, now an amazing pile of snow thanks to Ryan.

"HOW DARE YOU GUYS HAVE A SNOWBALL FIGHT WITHOUT US?!" Luke roared, clearly offended.
"You're doing it all wrong too! Have you no chivalry? Have you no concept of rules or honour?!"

"What rules? It's war!" I shouted back at him.

"Well for starters, NO LOW BLOWS Ava,"  he said looking at me with exaggerated distaste, “You guys need to be taught how to fight a REAL snowball battle.”

Oh boy, we were in for a lonnnnng day.
_____________________________________________________________________

Next thing you know, Luke had all of us lined up across the front lawn with our hands behind our ramrod-straight backs, like navy seals.

You see, Luke was a boy scout when he was younger and then one of the scout leaders when he grew older. I guess what they say about never forgetting the lessons you learn as a cub were right. That, or Luke just took them way too seriously!

He divided us up into teams via on the most legitimate and highly esteemed method of deciding in the history of deciding things; Rock, Paper, Scissors.

By the grace of God, Luke and Rose and I ended up on one team and Ryan Kim and Alyssa on the other team.

P"Alright troops, we are about to go into battle" Luke said to us pacing up and down the lawn, "but not just any battle, a battle of strategy! Each team has 5 minutes to 'strategise' and then we shall proceed.”

Luke’s antics could be a real pain, but when it came down to it, 9 times out of 10 they were actually a whole lot of fun.

So we split apart to the backyard and the front lawn to plan our attack.

"So what's our strategy Luke?" Asked Rose curiously.

"Strategy schmategy, this is a snowball fight, we fight to the death!” Luke laughed, his tense demeanour vanishing in an instant. “That whole act was to psych them out!"

"Oh my god Luke, I thought you said no low blows!" I protested.

"Hey I said there was no strategy, not that there aren't any rules! No low blows, and no headshots"

"Fine" I grumbled.

"Rose you start building up our snowball reserves, and Ava hurry up and help me build a snow fort, we need barricades."
_____________________________________________________________________

Both teams approached each other on the front lawn, a radius of 2 meters was all that separated us. Everyone had their game face on and I could practically hear the theme music from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Heck, things were so tense I half-expected to see a cactus ball rustle across the field.

"ATTACK!" Luke yelled and immediately there was a flurry of snow flying everywhere as both teams hurled icy balls of snow at each other.

It then fell silent as we separated and fled away to hide and prepare for the next attack.
_______________________________________________________________________
It was awesome!
I was the only one who managed to hit everyone on the other team at least once, however Alyssa hit Luke about 10 times. And he planned on getting his revenge.

"AH! MY BACK! man down, man down! " Luke cried, falling to the ground while clutching his back in the middle of the backyard.

"Alyssa," he whispered, "help...me..." his outstretched arm faltered and fell to the ground with all the dramatics of a cringe-worthy soap-opera.

"Don't do it Alyssa!" Kim called out, "it's a trap!"

"No Kim I think I actually hurt him! Luke are you ok?" Said a worried Alyssa who ran right into the centre of the yard.

Kim was right, it was a trap.

At that moment, Luke sat up and threw a snowball right at her while Rose and I ran out and threw 2 more at her from behind

"Nooooo" Kim cried out, pelting her own snowball at us but missing entirely.

I quickly raced to the other side of the yard and slid inside one of the snow forts we made earlier, before the other team could regroup and replenish their ammo.

I didn't expect anyone to be in there since Rose and Luke hadn't run in this direction.
But there was, and I realise it til I tripped over a leg and fell face first onto the ground.

I braced myself for the impact and stuck my arms out and to soften my fall, but in the process of doing so, I accidentally hit the crotch of the owner of said leg.

"UMPH" grunted the owner as he hissed in pain and recoiled into a ball.

"Oh my god, Ryan I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were hiding here! Wait what are you doing here? This is our fort!"

"MMmpH" he mumbled incomprehensibly as he rolled over with his hands between his legs and pressed his face into the snowy wall of the ice fort.

 He looked like he was in so much pain. I hovered over him like a helicopter-mom, but how the f*** does one make being punched in the balls feel better?

"Shhh, shhh it's ok, you're gonna be ok" I soothed, taking him into my arms and caressing his shoulders to try and make him feel better.

Placing butterfly kisses on the top of his head and all over his face I murmured against his cheek "you are the master of pain, pain is nothing to you. Pain is your bitch."

I felt the rumble of laughter that passed through his body momentarily before he tensed up and groaned again. Oops, bad move. But how was I supposed to know that even laughing hurt?

"Shit, sorry Cookie!" I apologised, but I couldn't help laughing at the whole situation.

We heard snow crunch under foot as someone ran over in our direction.

"Hey Ava we won!__ what are you doing!! Fraternising with the enemy is the number one no-no" Luke chastised.

Then he noticed Ryan curled up in a ball waiting for the pain to subside.

"Ryan you sneaky bastard, I already pulled the 'I'm hurt!' stint." Luke joked, slapping him on the back.
"No Luke, he's actually in real pain. I, um, I accidentally punched him in the balls." I explained, awkwardly as Ryan let out another groan from the impact of Luke’s slap.

"Ooh that's rough man," Luke said, sucking in a breath with a hiss of understanding, "Ava you better make it up to him somehow. No guy deserves to accidentally be whacked in the nuts…ever." Luke’s face glazed over momentarily, like he was remembering a bad memory.

"Mmph" Ryan grunted, nodding his head enthusiastically in agreement.

"Anyway did you guys see Rose go past here? " Luke asked.
"Nope, she's probably still hiding.” I told him as he nodded and headed off again.

Ryan pulled away from me and gingerly propped himself up against the snow fort wall with a grunt.

"Is it really that painful?" I asked hesitantly,

"You don't even know the half of it." He replied, his face scrunched up.

"What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Uh I don't know, try to find something to distract me from the pain?"

Ding! And just like that a lightbulb went off in my head and I thought of the perfect distraction; for the BOTH of us.

"Ok close your eyes, that might help" I said tucking my legs under me and leaning in closer to him.

"Ok but I don't see how it will help all that muc--hmph!" I cut him off with my lips in an eager kiss, one hand caressing his neck and the other teasing his ear with my fingers.  God knows I’ve been dying to do this all day.
The plan was to overload his senses with more pleasure than there was pain.

And so far, the plan seemed to be working.

Ryan grunted again but his arms slipping around my waist and pulling me close told me that this time it wasn't because he was in pain.

I shivered in his arms, not from the cold but from pleasure as he deepened the kiss.
It nearly killed me to pull away for air right when I felt his tongue run over my bottom lip, but I had to breathe.
He was getting bolder and bolder with his kisses, but DAMN I liked it.

"Hmm I think you're feeling better now" I said, catching my breath as clouds of water vapour formed in the air.
"No it still hurts" he mumbled, pulling my face back down to his.
"You sure about that" I smirked, placing two fingers on his lips.
"Ughh the agony!" He groaned, clutching my sides.
"Argh what a stupid cookie" I said smiling as I kissed him again.
"I'm pretty smart if I got a girl like you to kiss me" he said grinning.
"F****** sneaky__mhhh" I tried to say
"Hush, just kiss me"
I just sighed and melted into his arms as he captured my lips, cutting me off; and any protests I had died away.

_____________________________________________________
The next day was the last full day we would be in Chicago.

Just after lunch Kim suddenly jumped up, slamming one hand on the table and pointing to the Christmas tree with the other.
"I knew it! She exclaimed, "all this time I knew something was missing but I couldn't quite put my finger on it; Christmas lights!"
"Ugh, Kim we're leaving tomorrow so what's the point of putting them up now?" Alyssa asked.
"No, that's exactly why we SHOULD put them up. So that this Christmas is perfect! C'mon guys" she pleaded.

"Ok I'll do it Kim, if it will make you happy" I sighed dramatically.
"Yay!" Kim squealed and hugged me tight.
"Uncle Randy said he put some lights in the basement, I'll get you the keys." Said Rose, "uhhh Ryan can you go help Ava with the lights? I would ask Luke but he just made Lunch for all of us and I think he deserves a break."

"Yes he does!" Luke chimed in from where he was splayed out on the couch by the fire.

"Of course" said Ryan, reaching for his jacket.

"Oh don't worry about a jacket, the basement is heated" said Rose

"Haha I wouldnt expect less from a house like this." I laughed

"Yeah it's amazing!” Rose agreed, “but the weird thing is that the only entrance to the basement is outside, I think that's one of the reasons why they're doing renovations next year."

_______________________________________________________________

Walking down the steep, narrow stairs to the basement I shivered as sparse snowflakes began to fall. There had been quite a lot of snow just before we arrived but thankfully it had been forecast to ease off.

When we got inside, we weren't surprised at all that it was huge. But it wasn't really furnished.

The floor was carpeted and there was a random rug rolled up on the floor, some cupboards and empty cardboard boxes.
Along one of the walls there were some holes in the plaster showing exposed pipes leading to a little kitchinet and a bathroom at the back. It smelled of paint and plastic.

Cupboard, cupboard, cupboard, I chanted in my head as I searched around the room with Ryan.

Rose said her uncle had put the lights in a box in one of the cupboards so I went to go check.

“Found it” Said Ryan, pointing to a door in the wall that looked like it was barely there.

Sure enough there were two boxes of colorful Christmas lights inside, next to a range of other assorted homeware items:

 Fancy cushions, candles, throws, a glass fruit bowl complete with fake fruit, a ugly vase, towels and other useless decorative shit.

This must be where they stored all the extra stuff they put out on showcase days to try and get people to buy the house.

"Uh, Ava these cords are majorly tangled. Like worse-than-when you-pull-out-your-headphones-from-your-pocket tangled."  Ryan said, holding up a mass of intertwined wires.

"Oh geez.  There are even broken bulbs,” I sighed examining the dodgy lights. “We're gonna have to change them otherwise the exposed wires could start a fire on the tree."

We spent about an hour or 2 unraveling and untangling the ridiculously tangled lights. It was a f****** pain in the ass but we were nearly done and Kim would be happy. Unhappy Kim was not quite so pleasant, nor was her death stare.

We worked in silence and I don't know why but I suddenly felt...nervous?

Even though we'd been making out in the snow just yesterday I felt so self-aware with Ryan in such close proximity.

My gaze was automatically drawn back to him each time I tried to look away. The way his fingers moved gently and fluidly to disperse the tangles, the way he stood so calmly and patiently while I was ready to chuck the lights on the ground and stomp on them in frustration, the way he sometimes looked up and caught me staring, and proceeded to blush and try to hide his shy little smile.

"It's done" I exhaled, running a hand through my hair. I shivered. Weird, I swear Rose said that the basement was heated.
"Is it just me or is it colder now than when we first came down here?" I asked

"No, it definitely is colder, we should probably head back upstairs now, the others must be wondering what's taking us so long." Ryan agreed, walking over to the doorway.

But as soon as Ryan opened the door, a massive pile of snow fell inwards and almost buried him.

"Shit! Ryan are you ok?!" I asked worriedly as I dug at the snow and pulled him out.
Why was it that my smart cookie always ended up getting hurt?

Outside the wind howled and we could barely see the top of the narrow stairwell that was now packed with snow.

So much for the weather clearing up; we were well and truly trapped!

It was only then that I thought to check my phone.

30 missed calls and 15 texts from Luke, Rose, Kim and Alyssa combined. Why the f*** did I put my phone on silent?! My friends had been trying to warn us that there was a blizzard and that we should get back quickly.

I immediately rang Rose, “Hel-“
"AVA thank goodness, are you ok? Is Ryan ok? Why didn't you pick up??"

"Rose I'm so sorry, I had my phone on silent the whole time and I didn't realise! We're ok, actually no Ryan isn't ok!  A mini avalanche fell on him when he tried to open the door and now he's shivering violently."

"Ok not good. How wet is he? Put me on speakerphone." I could tell Rose was going into clinical mode; she became methodical and serious whenever something went wrong, and she always knew just how to fix things.

"Ryan are you there?"  Rose asked
"H-hey Ro-rose" said Ryan, his teeth chattering as he hugged his arms around himself.
"How soaked is your clothing?"
"My sweater and m-my tshirt are pre-pretty dre-drenched."
"What kind of fabric are they made out of?"
"Uhh the swea-ter is woo-wool and my t-tshirt is cotton"

Not really knowing how I could help him, I went over to the storage cupboard and took out a towel from the display storage stuff, and proceeded to try and dry him off.

"You're going to have to take both off, especially the tshirt. Believe it or not but you'll be warmer without them because wool takes forever to dry and cotton literally sucks the heat right out of your body."  Rose explained

"Ok-k" said Ryan hesitantly.

I watched him hook his thumbs in the hem of his top and pull the material up over his head. I should have been watching with concern but first I had to stop my mouth from watering; his muscles were ripping as the frosty air touched his skin, and his nipples had peaked due to the cold.

"Are you wearing jeans too? Are they wet?" Rose questioned.

"Y-es and yes" Ryan answered.

"You're going to have to take those off too. Don't worry though, Ava has seen guys in less than they're underwear before" Rose laughed.

"ROSE!" I shouted into the phone, vastly annoyed with my best friend despite the help she was giving.

"Once you do that," she continued, ignoring me completely, "I think there might be some blanke__oh no!"

Just then there was an audible surge of power and the lights above us flickered out, and the room gradually descended into darkness.

"Rose are you there, are you guys ok?" I asked worriedly.
"Yes we're all ok" she replied in that calm tone I really needed to hear. "The heating and the electricity has gone out, the taps work and the stove is gas heated so that also still works. We have the fireplace as well so we're ok, but it's you guys that we're all worried about."
"Avey this is all my fault!!! I never should have cared about some stupid Christmas lights!!" I heard Kim wail in the background.

"We'll be ok, there are blankets and towels and candles and stuff in the cupboard here and my phone has full battery."

"Alright. I called Uncle Randy for help and he said he'll come over to help get you guys out as soon as the storm passes, and that should be hopefully in about an hour. Luckily the power was still on for you guys during the worst of it."

"Thanks Rose, is there anything else we should know or do?" I asked, not sure if the cell phone towers would also be affected by the storm and we’d lose connection.

Rose took me off speaker, "if the cold gets to be too much for you guys, the water boiler that heats the water for the house is down there in the middle of one of the walls, if you sit near it you'll probably feel a bit warmer."

I was about to hang up when she quickly added "oh and one more thing. You know how we joked about Luke when he was on boy scout winter camp that one time and it rained and they couldn't start a fire, so they all had to cram into one tent and___ well long story short, it's not a joke Ava, if either of you begin to feel numb from the cold you know what to do."

I gulped.

"...ok I get it, thanks Rose, we'll see you soon."

"Stay safe Ava."
Beep.

Already the cold had seeped through the un-insulated brick walls and I was now shuddering, but no matter how cold I felt, I knew Ryan was probably 10 times colder.

I reached out and felt for his hand which I took into mine and squeezed reassuringly.

"Ryan don't move, I'm going to get you a blanket." I told him.

He was shivering so much that he could only nod, and my heart wrenched with worry.

With the light from my phone I made my way to the cupboard and grabbed some candles and a matchbox as well as the only thick blanket from the shelf.

I lit the candles and place them in a line on the floor. The light and heat they gave off was dim, but it was enough to see the room again and it was definitely better than nothing. Had we been in a less dire situation, it would have actually been rather cosy.

Ryan had wrapped the large woollen-knit blanket around himself but he was still shivering pretty intensely because the wool hadn’t trapped much body heat yet.

"Ryan why haven't you taken your jeans off yet? Rose said that anything wet with cotton in it will suck the heat out of you." I asked worriedly.

"I tr-tried but my f-fingers won't s-stop shaking." He chattered.

I couldn’t tell if he was telling me the truth, or if he was too embarrassed to strip down to his underwear, but either way I couldn’t let him stay in those pants because he would freeze
"...I'll help you then." I said quietly, trying to sound casual about the situation, but in reality my mind was going places it shouldn’t be.

In the flickering, yellow candlelight I stood before Ryan and felt his flushed gaze on my face as I reached out for the button on his pants.

Easy as pie right?
It proved to be a harder task than I first thought.

The candlelight cast shadows onto the contours of his body, and the v-line of his hips became provocatively defined where his waist tapered off.
My fingertips itched to run themselves down the angled bone, to trace patterns along the downward path and elicit a gasp.

How many times had I done this before? How many times had I undone a guy's pants before? More than once that's for sure.

But why did I feel so nervous, so vulnerably virginal, this time when it was hardly even the same situation?

The button came undone and my fingers searched for the stiff metal zipper. Gripping the hem of his jeans, my knuckles accidentally brushed against the sensitive apex of his lower abdomen and I saw his knees bend momentarily throwing off his balance.

I tried to look up at him to see if he was ok, but his eyes wouldn’t meet mine.
And I felt a terrible urge to brush my thumb over the same place again, and watch his face to see if his beautiful blush was visible even in candlelight.

The sound of metal grating on metal filled the room as I finally undid the zipper, then came the rustling of denim as I crouched gradually and slowly pulled the fabric all the way down his legs.

I had to close my eyes as I did so; there was only so much I could take before I lost my control.

I made the mistake of meeting Ryan's gaze as I stood up. The deep blush on his cheeks and the heated yet vulnerable look in his eyes alone was almost enough to make me push him down in his Calvin Klein boxer-briefs and make him mine.

Even though the room was now freezing cold, my body felt so hot because of him. Both because he was standing near naked directly in front of me, but I could also feel his body heat radiating out to me from being so close to him.

I couldn’t help it, I needed to be closer, so I bridged the miniscule gap between us and wrapped my arms around his bare torso. I needed to hold him and make him feel as secure as I did when he held me.

“We’re going to be ok, I promise.” I whispered against his neck.
I felt his cheek brush against mine as he turned to kiss it.
“I know we will,” He replied, wrapping his arms and the blanket around me.

“Rose said that the house water boiler was down here and that we should sit next to it to warm up."  I told him.
"It's right there near the exposed pipes" said Ryan, gesturing towards the wall, the chattering of his teeth fading away completely.

"You should sit right next to it since you have...fewer clothes on."
“Haha ok then” He laughed.

I was glad to hear his warm laugh, it made me feel a lot better given the circumstances we were in.

____________________________________________________________________

So there we sat, side by side next to the water boiler which was actually quite warm, except that all the stone and brick around it stole most of the heat away unless you were physically touching it.

We laughed and joke about how we were going to get Kim back for this, about the first thing we would do when we got back into the house (it was drink hot chocolate and take a bubble bath by the way). But neither of us really felt like talking after a while. There was the occasional "are you okay?" "Yeah I'm okay" but it was actually too cold to speak for too long.

Maybe it was a combination of the dark and the cold, but I suddenly felt really tired, and I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I don't even remember when I registered the fact that I couldn't really feel my toes.
Leaning against Ryan kept my core temperature warm, but my extremities weren’t feeling that great; heck they weren’t ‘feeling’ at all.

"Ava, Ava! Wake up! Open your eyes!" I was jolted awake by Ryan shaking me by the shoulders.
I didn’t even realise I had dozed off, I hadn’t fallen asleep completely, just somewhere in between for what seemed to be 10 seconds but was really like 5 minutes. That fact was scary enough for me to stay wide awake.

"R-Ryan what's wr-wrong?" I was surprised that my teeth were suddenly chattering so much.

"Sweetheart your lips are turning blue, do you want the blanket? I can go without it." Ryan seemed so distressed that I knew I should have been worried too, but I felt this weird calmness, maybe I was starting to go into shock?

"Don't be ridiculous Ryan, you're wearing nothing but your underwear." I told him.
"I can't just leave you like this, you'll get hypothermia! I'm not exaggerating Ava, you were beginning to lose consciousness."

I swallowed nervously. Ryan was right, but we couldn’t let both of us freeze.

It's not a joke Ava, if either of you begin to feel numb from the cold you know what to do.

Rose’s previous words echoed round and round inside my head.
I didn't think it would come to this, but what must be done, must be done.

"Ryan have you ever heard of sharing body heat to survive the cold?" I asked

"...I can guess how it works" He replied unsurely.

"Well desperate times call for desperate measures.” I said, “Just think of it as if we're wearing swimsuits."

This was it, no turning back now.

"Wait hang on Ava what do you mean___oh."

I saw Ryan's eyes widen in shock as I took off my top and proceeded to discard all of my clothes (besides my bra and underwear) in a matter of seconds.

I couldn't worry about shyness or insecurity right now; I was too Damn f****** cold and I needed to get inside that blanket with Ryan stat.

“Open up cookie, or I’ll freeze” I said shaking my arms out to try and warm up.

Ryan opened up his blanket cocoon and I eagerly dived in, sitting in between his legs as his arms enclosed around me.

“Mmm” I murmured in approval, welcoming the change in environment.

I felt warmer almost instantly because 1. I could feel the heat from the water boiler a whole lot better from this position. 2. Ryan was like a human heater. How come he was so warm with way less clothes than I had on before?!

I snuggled into him, noticing the way that our body heat had indeed doubled and both of us were feeling much more comfortable.

I pulled the blanket tighter around us and Ryan’s arms snaked around my waist pulling me close, to rest against his toned body.

15 minutes later we were toasty warm, strangely almost too warm to be honest.

I couldn’t deny the fact that my nether regions had begun to throb with all this skin to skin contact. It is the most simple, human and pleasurable form of physical contact.

And the way his bare skin felt gliding across my bare skin, as well as the clouds of hot air he breathed down my neck, sent my heart beating out of control.

I heard him clear his throat, “Hey, um, that tattoo you have on your back…would you be offended if I asked what it said?”
“No of course not. Go ahead, read it yourself.” I said, leaning forward slightly so he could read the calligraphic words that spanned across my back, framed by forget-me-not flowers and flourishes, just in between my shoulder blades.

“But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st; Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st;  So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.  19** - 20**”

I loved to hear Ryan read aloud, his voice was so calm and soothing to my ears.

“Shakespeare.” He whispered.
“Correct.” I replied, not surprised in the least that he recognised Sonnet 18.
“Who,” he paused hesitantly “who did you lose?”
“…My dad.” I said quietly.

“I’m so sorry Ava, I shouldn’t have asked.” He apologised, tightening his hold around me.

“Don’t be sorry, it was a long time ago and I’m stronger as a result of it now. I’ve moved on, I live my life doing the things I love, to make him proud.”

“He would be proud,” Ryan said sincerely, as his lowered his head and placed a tender kiss on my back, where I can only guess the first line of words was.

“proud of the strong, confident and beautiful person you’ve grown to be.” He murmured against my skin.
I’ve never met anybody that could make me feel that my soul was beautiful, let alone just with words.  Nobody but Ryan.

I felt heat radiate from the place he had kissed my back and I sighed contentedly as I closed my eyes.  
"You think I'm beautiful?" I turned my head slightly and saw him smile bashfully with down-cast eyes.

"Inside and out." He replied shyly.

“…thank you.”

I felt his fingertips trace over the flourishes and swirls of my tattoo, then trail feather-light down my spine.

I squirmed in his lap and failed to suppress a peal of laughter.

Shit, now he knew I had a weakness.

"Ava are you by any chance," he grazed his fingers over my sides, causing me to tense up and clamp a hand over my mouth, "ticklish?" He asked, and I knew he was smirking at me, I could just feel it on the back of my head and I had a terrible hunch about what he was going to do next.
"Don't. You. Dare." I whispered menacingly.

"Don't dare what?" He asked, feigning innocence as one arm locked me in place and his fingers began their attack.

"No!" I yelped as I wriggled in his arms. This was so embarrassing. You would never guess that I am probably the most ticklish person in the world, and few people ever knew this about me; probably because the last time someone tried to tickle me I punched them. On reflex! I promise...

I heard him laughing at me laughing involuntarily as I pounded my fists against him to stop this torture. Because it was more than simply just 'tickle torture'.

The more he tickled me, the less control I had over my body.
The more his hands ran over my skin, the more stimulated I became, my skin becoming hyper-sensitive to touch because my brain didn't have any time to process all the excitatory messages that my neurons were firing.

Long story short, Ryan was making me aroused.

I even read somewhere that the sensation of being tickled can even drive some people to orgasm or something.

"Ryan stop! Ahaha stoppp! Hahahah!" I was almost crying with laughter and I was flailing around more than ever, squirming around in his lap, trying to get away.

Then, all of sudden Ryan stilled, he became tense and immobile.

Glad that he finally stopped but worried about why he now seemed paralysed, I turned around to see what was wrong.

"Stop. Ava, please do. not. move." He said through gritted teeth.
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?!" I asked turning all the way around and straddling his waist to face him. "Stop!" He squeezed his eyes shut and grasped my wrists.

I stared at him momentarily in confusion; and then I felt it.

Or more specifically, I felt him.

My eyes widened in surprise and now it was my turn to smirk.
Oho I was going to enjoy this...

Ryan looked so guilty with his eyes shut and his cheeks blazing. Without warning I gently rocked my hips forward and felt him grow harder between my thighs. I felt a thrill of exhilaration at the fact that I was making him as aroused as he made me.

He sucked in a ragged breath and gripped my wrists tighter as I slowly rocked my hips back.

"Ryan are you by any chance," I gyrated forward again and murmured in his ear "hard for me?"

He turned his head away from me in embarrassment, but I still felt him twitch beneath me.
"What are you doing to me?" His breathing became increasingly more laboured as I began to grind on him, building up to a steady rhythm.

"You tortured me, I torture you" I said cooly, but in reality the harder I was making him, the wetter he was making me. I grew increasingly unable to disguise my heavy breathing as well.
I ground just a little harder and just a little faster, causing him to groan as his head fell forward in defeat.

I felt like a lion was roaring in triumph inside of me, and I wanted to look at the face of my little lamb.

I gently slid off his glasses, took his face into my hands and lifted it up to look at him; to stare into his eyes as I continued this torturous pleasure on both of us.

"This isn't the right time or place," he breathed uncertainly, I saw the guilt in his innocent eyes for wanting this, for letting me keep doing this to him.

"That's not what your body is saying" I countered, smiling cheekily as I swivelled my hips in one quick circular motion that made him jerk forward and pull me right up against his chest with an iron grip.

Every inch of my upper body was pressed against his, the blanket had fallen away from our shoulders and I wasn't sure if my nipples had hardened due to the cold or thanks to Ryan.  Either way they felt more bruised and sensitive that ever brushing against his muscular chest.

They ached to be touched, I ached for him to touch me. His head rested in the crook of my neck and his lips were pressed over my pulse point, yet another weakness he knew about, making me arch and melt into a puddle in his arms.

"Ava Maxwell you better stop that right now if you know what's good for you" Ryan growled, a sound so uncharacteristic and primal coming from him that it sent tremors down my spine, straight to my core. And I knew he could feel me pulse involuntarily over him; I knew he knew that his voice alone could drive me into delirium.

Where did my little lamb go? Who was this big bad wolf in sheep's clothing?

 I cleared my dry throat, "and what if I don't know what's good for me?" I asked daringly, my voice thick with desire.

"Then I'm going to have to eat you up," his low, husky voice whispered sensually into my ear before nipping at my pulse point and proceeding to soothe it with his hot, wet tongue.
It automatically made me rock forward and grind long and hard against him, causing both of us to cry out in the agony of pleasure.

I’ve said it once and I'll say it again; how the F*** is Ryan still a virgin?!

My lips ached to feel the softness of his on mine, to taste the sweetness of his kiss, the gentleness and the secret dominance I knew he kept hidden.

But just as I closed my eyes and sought to bring his mouth to mine, there was a loud thud at the door.
We froze and stared at the door, then at each other, communicating with our eyes.

Next came a metallic clang, voices, footsteps, the doorknob rattling.  We barely had enough time for me to turn around to sit with my back to Ryan, and pull the blanket all the way up around our heads. And then there was the literally 'frozen' expression of suspiciousness etched onto our faces.
We must've looked like a mutant double-headed babushka doll.

BAM the door burst open and Kim came running in.

“AVEY! RYAN! Are you guys ok?!”  She called out worriedly, assessing whatever damage she thought might have occurred.

But then she spotted our clothes in a pile on the floor.

“Well I guess you guys were doing just fine” said Kim looking mighty amused at Ryan’s flushed face me desperately trying to avoid eye contact.

“Well I guess I’ll just leave you two to get decent and let everyone inside know that you’re ok” she continued “Or rather…MORE than ok”

I saw Kim raise her eyebrows at Ryan who looked like she’d just shattered something inside him.
There was definitely some unspoken communication going on between them.

“You and me need to have a talk later peaches.”  She said sternly

“Kim it's not what you think! We weren't doing anything I swear!"  Ryan protested
What the heck was going on?
"I know what I saw honey" Kim
Ryan quickly shifted me off his lap and scrambled to get his clothes back on before running outside after Kim.
“Don’t tell the others Kim” I heard him call out.

I felt his absence. It was a gust of freezing wind as I sat in the basement, cold and alone. I pulled the blanket closer around me, but it did nothing to thaw the ice that Ryan’s words had formed around my heart.

God I was stupid. I know I told him that I wanted to keep us secret from the others, but I didn’t actually think that he agreed so wholeheartedly that he would run after Kim and make sure that the others didn’t find out that we were togeth- wait, we weren’t even officially together. Could it be that he wasn’t sure that he wanted this? He must’ve been unsure about his feelings from the beginning, why else would he want to ‘trial’ our relationship for 3 days?

I suddenly felt so angry, it wasn’t a raging anger but a slow painful burn in my chest. I was more angry at myself for letting my guard down than I was at Ryan.

I pushed him, I knew I did, I probably pushed my feelings onto him, projected them to the point that I believed he felt the same way as I did when maybe he didn’t even know himself.

Until a situation like this when it became clear that I had pushed him too far.

He didn’t really want this, he was confused about his feelings; he was embarrassed of me.

How could I let myself believe that after messing around, anyone would still want me?

That’s all bad girls were good for. Messing around with because it doesn’t matter if you break already damaged goods right?

But I wasn’t about to be anyone’s dirty little secret.  And I certainly didn’t want to be in a relationship that I forced.

3 days had come to an end, and so would ‘we.’

 _______________________________________

I didn’t speak to him at dinner or after that either, because we had an early morning flight or everybody went to bed nearly straight away.

Rose didn’t let me out of her sight once we got back inside, but I didn’t mind the excessive amount of hugs she gave me. She thought I hugged her back because I’d been scared, but I hugged her back because I was hurting.

Everyone assumed I was quiet because I was tired. But I couldn’t sleep for the life of me.

I lay wide awake in bed with a million questions swirling around my mind, and if I couldn’t get some answers, I at least needed to put an end to them.

I threw off the covers and got out of bed, storming out the door.

I walked down the hallway with purpose and determination, going as fast as I could without running.

But the pale yellow light shining from under the doorway to Ryan’s room threw me off. I didn’t expect him to be awake. Oh well, I’d get things over and done with faster this way.

Working up enough courage, I knocked on the door.

“Ava.” Ryan said, surprised to see me when he opened the door, “what’s wrong?”

“...I can’t sleep.”  That was all I could say.

I had planned, to say everything I’d been thinking of, to Ryan at the door. Then I’d get out of there as fast as I could. But nothing ever goes according to plan for me these days.

“Me neither” He chuckled, pulling me into his arms and holding me tenderly in his embrace.

The way that he grinned at me understandingly, the way his sweatshirt was pushed up showing his forearms, the irresistibly adorable way his glasses were slightly skewed on his face telling me that he had rushed to put them on. The way he held me like I was made of glass, like I was precious, like I would shatter and disappear.

All of these things just made it so much harder for me to pull away.

But I had to do it; it was selfish of me to keep him to myself when he didn’t know any better, when he could be spending his time with that perfect girl he would end up with eventually, after me.

I stiffened at that thought and he drew away.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, concerned.

“3 days is up,” I said quietly, willing myself with every ounce of strength I had, to look him in the eyes.

“What?” he looked so confused, but surely he knew deep down that this was always the way things were going to end up.

“The deal, remember?” I said, as detachedly as I could, “Let’s forget about it ok? I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Ryan seemed so conflicted, and of course he would be. To want something even though it was a source of embarrassment, something taboo that you didn’t want other people to know about; the thrill of have a dirty little secret.

“So we just forget about everything?” he asked tight-lipped

“I guess…that’s the deal you made with me.”

“and the part where you asked me to the Winter formal, do I forget about that too?” I could see his jaw lock and his hands clench into fists.

“No of course not, we can still go as friends. Ryan you’re still an important friend to me, can you do me a favour and remember that?” I told him sincerely, taking his hands into mine as forced myself to look at the pained expression on his face.

And my heart cracked just a little more when his eyes finally locked with mine, and I saw the hurt and confusion swirling around in the stormy deep blue.

“…ok, if it’s what you want.” He said stonily.

It wasn’t.
But what I did want, was for Ryan to be happy, and this was the only way I knew he would be.

Even if he didn’t know it himself.

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:'(  Just when you thought things were going good!!! :P
Sorry that it has taken me SO LONG to update but hopefully this super long chapter will make up for it!

COMMENT AND VOTE IF YOU LIKE THE STORY SO FAR!

xx Cerise :)