Today I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. It was pouring rain outside and the sun was nowhere to be seen. If the sun was going to take a day off then surely I could too.

I felt like shit; it was freezing cold because mom forgot to turn up the heating before she left, Poptart was mewing like crazy for food and my phone was ringing loudly on my desk all the way on the other side of the room.

I should just marry my bed. It would never hurt me, it was fluffy and comfortable and I’d be faithful to the end.

*GURGLE*

… I guess my stomach has other ideas.

I got up out of bed and checked my phone. Ok more like I rolled out of bed with the covers wrapped around me and crawled over to my phone.

New message from Rose

Happy Birthday Ava! ♥ Please try to be happy today.

Ugh. That’s right, today’s the day that my dad died.

_______________________________________________________________________
I walked slowly into the cemetery with a bouquet of forget-me-nots. Raindrops fell around me as they pit-a-patted down my umbrella.

Finally arriving at his grave, I placed the flowers at the base of the cold stone that read,

Nicholas Maxwell
Loving husband and father
19** - 20**

Crouching low so that my umbrella sheltered the stone as well, I whispered
“Hi dad.” And my voice instantly cracks. I’ve only ever cried over one person in my life, and that’s my father. Nobody else is worth my tears.
“How have you been? I hope you’re at peace wherever you are. I’m sorry we haven’t talked in a while, I’ve been busy with school and stuff and Mom has been working late again. I’ve hardly seen her in the past 2 weeks and I can’t exactly see you, so it feels like I’ve lost both of my parents.

Um I guess I’m 18 now, but you know, I wish I was 10 again and__and I wish___I wish you came home that day.” I burst into tears as I dropped the umbrella and brought my hands to my face.

“Dad you don’t know how much I miss you. You don’t know how many times I needed to talk to you but I couldn’t, and how painful it felt, like there was a black hole and it was swallowing me up from the inside. And mom__mom wasn’t there for me when I needed her and I know it’s not her fault but dad, dad you were the one that always made everything better. I had to be the strong one, I still have to be the strong one. Sometimes I still hear her crying in her bedroom when she thinks I’m asleep. And I’m the one that has to put the pieces back together when all I want to do is scream and cry and be selfish and pathetically hope that you’ll somehow reappear and take care of things like you always did. You were my sun dad. Yes, har-har I know it’s pouring rain and the sky is overcast, I can practically hear you laughing at that.”

I smiled sadly and wiped away my tears, although I was drenched from head to toe and the rain and my tears had mixed together. Funny, it was like the water was washing away my sadness.

“I hope you like the flowers dad,” I said after regaining my composure. “and it’s just like Shakespeare said, ‘So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.’
You’ll never be forgotten.”

And as I walked away, there was a gust of wind that blew through the cemetery, and I could have sworn I heard my name being called softly.

I’m probably just imagining things…
____________________________________________________________

In truth, nobody but Rose knows that today is my birthday. I stopped telling people right after my dad died and I actually like it better this way. I hate how people expect others to treat them special just because they turned another year older. Well guess what; a million people probably died on the day you were born so you’re basically celebrating the day they all died. Way to be sensitive.

But at the same time I wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea of celebratory food, in fact there is nothing that particularly defines food as ‘birthday’ or ‘celebratory,’ it’s actually just whatever happens to be your favourite food. And there is NOTHING wrong with a little treat in my book.

As for my favourite food?...

“Girl are you out of your mind?! It’s colder than an icicle on a penguin’s nose in Antarctica and you wanna go get ice-cream? Nuh-uh, Call me again when it’s Summer. Bye now.” *click*

Sigh~ I hung up the phone; once Kim had made up her mind, there was no changing it.
Rose was working, Luke was at basketball training and Alyssa…Alyssa just doesn’t like sweet things.

So I guess that left Ryan.
Ryan….not such bad way to spend the rest of my so-called birthday.

_________________________________________________________________

What was I even doing standing outside of his house without calling first, without checking that he didn’t have plans with friends or a date with some girl…ugh some girl. Just thinking about that made me unjustifiably irritated.

I listened to the awkward sound of the dial tone as I leaned against the secret wall and called Ryan.

After two rings he picked up, “Hey Ava, what’s up?”
Was it just me, or did his voice sound 10 times sexier on the phone?

“Ryan I’m bored, can you sneak out and meet me?” I asked, but it was more like a statement.

“…ok, I’ll leave in a minute. Do you want me to come pick you up from your house?”
“No that won’t be necessary,” I said, smiling as I heard him open and close the double doors of his room.

“oh, where do you want to meet up then?” his voice and the soft scrunch of footsteps on grass got louder as he neared the wall.

“You’ll see.” I said,

 Sure enough he climbed, or should I say, leaped over the wall and landed where I stood waiting.

“I see,” he said still speaking into the phone before he promptly hung up, stared at me for a second and we both cracked up laughing.

 “So what exactly did you want to do that required me to sneak out?” He asked.

“Hey you just walked straight out of your bedroom and jumped the wall in 30 seconds, I hardly call that sneaking out!” I countered jokingly.

“Hey it took years of practice to slip into the shadows without my unobservant parents who are busy with work, not to take notice of their second son.” He said, laced with a tinge of bitter sarcasm that seemed to lie adjacent to his normal gentle character…

“I apologise wise ninja master, my training is clearly inadequate,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiled his beautiful half-smile and that made me smile too as I said “I want ice-cream.”

 “Ok let’s go” he replied casually, turning to start walking
That’s it? He didn’t look at me like I was crazy, there was no judgement, he was just going to go with it?
“What, aren’t you gonna say ‘Ice cream? Are you crazy it’s winter!’” I said, enthusiastically imitating Kim’s earlier comment.

“Ahaha was that supposed to be Kim? Ava we live in California, just a few weeks ago we were still walking around in t-shirts and shorts. But most importantly, there’s never a wrong time for ice cream.” He said looking at me seriously.

I probably had a stupid expression on my face, because I was dumbfounded that someone actually took ice-cream as seriously as I did. ‘Never a wrong time for ice cream’ was basically my life motto.

“Come on, I know a really good place nearby.” He said tugging at my sleeve to break me out of my reverie.

_______________________________________________________________

 “Hey Joanna!” Ryan called out as we entered a classic ice-cream parlor, it was so authentic like it was right out of the 50’s.

“Well well well, look who it is! Lil’ Ryan Haywood back again!” said a plump and motherly looking African American woman (A/N I apologise if this term is politically incorrect) coming out from behind the counter to give Ryan a big mama bear-like hug. 

“You growin’ into a mighty fine man even more err’ time I see you Mr,” she says lovingly, then glancing at me, “Now ain’t you gon introduce me to yo’ lil lady friend ova here?” she said, animatedly raising her eyebrows and laughing.

“What’s yo name sugar?” she asked me, smiling warmly.

“I’m Ava” I said, and I couldn’t help but beam back at her.

 “Mmhm I like that name! Now Ava you gotta tell Mama Jo sumthin’, is this boy yo boo?” she asked sceptically, pointing at Ryan and whispering as if he couldn’t see exactly what she was doing.“

“haha no we’re just good friends!” I blurted out all in a rush. But  adrenalin was still pumping through my veins as the shock of the sudden question faded slowly away.

“Mhmm well you coulda fooled me the way you were lookin’ at him, plus baby Haywood here’s neva taken no girl to this ice-cream parlour before. You’re the first.” She winked at me. And I gulped. Was I really making googly eyes at Ryan without me realising it?

“Mama jo! Stop you’re making her embarrassed.” Ryan protested, looking apologetically at me.

“Oh hush now honey bun, ain’t nobody gettin’ flustered cept you. Now are you kiddies gon order some ice cream or what?” she said heading back around the counter.

“I’ll have the usual” said Ryan, still blushing slightly.  
“I’ll have mint-chop chip” I chimed in. I loved Mama Jo instantly, her personality was so warm and comforting. I had a feeling I’d be back here soon. 

“Comin’ right up.” She said as she reached for the ice-cream scooper.

_____________________________________________________________

We were just about to walk outside after thanking Mama Jo for the amazing ice-cream, when she suddenly called out “Now hold up just a second Ryan Haywood” and she gave him a look that meant she wanted to talk in private.

Ryan looked to me and handed me his cone “Ava you go ahead, I’ll be out in a minute.”

I headed outside and the heavy glass door shut after me. But out of the corner of my eye I could see Mama Jo and Ryan leaning over the counter talking about something serious…but then she started laughing again and Ryan seemed flustered. Argh I wish I could have heard what they were saying, or had any talent in reading lips.

RYAN’S POV

Mama jo seemed really serious, I hadn’t seen her this way since I told her I was being bullied in elementary school.

“Ryan Matthew Haywood, you been comin’ to this Ice cream parlour since you were just 6 years old and you practically live here in the summer. I think you owe it to me to gimme a truthful answer when I ask…”

I prepared myself for the worst.
.
.
.
“Are you sweet on that girl!?” She grinned and the atmosphere completely changed back.

“….I think I am.” I said quietly, looking down to avoid eye contact.

“Look at chu! Those cheeks be blushin like two ripe cherries, I knew it! I knew it!”

I put one hand to my forehead and leant on the countertop while Mama Jo had her little bout of triumphant laughter.  I could see Ava outside quickly turning around pretending that she wasn’t watching us, and now it was my turn to laugh.

“It must be pretty serious if you brought her here, suga lump”
“I’m positive she doesn’t see me that way…”

“Yeah but honey you a boy, you got no idea at allbout what we women are thinkin’.” She said with a wink,“Don’t doubt yo’self baby bear, you a real good catch and if she don’ know that already by now, she gon find out real soon.”

“Thanks Mama Jo.” I said as she gave me a warm hug.

“Come back anytime chickpeas!” she called out to both of us as I opened the door

_________________________________________________________

AVA’S POV

Ryan got vanilla. Why am I so not surprised? It was just so by the book and plain.

“Vanilla huh? Too scared to try other flavors?” I teased.
“Hey don’t bag it, it’s a classic! And it’s not your average vanilla anyway.” He defended.

“What’s so special about it then?” I persisted.

“You’ll never find out.” He said taking a self-satisfied lick that made the competitive beast inside me growl. Oh he wanted to start this? I have never one to back down from a challenge.

“Wanna bet?” I asked

“…name your price” he hesitated. It was clear that he didn’t expect I would be serious about it.

“If I can guess what the secret ingredient is in one go… then you have to do anything I say for the rest of tonight.” I proposed.

“hmm,” he murmured, glancing at his watch. “Fine. It’s like 8pm now so what could you possibly do anyway.”

I literally have to stop myself from laughing evilly out loud.

“Ok and if I can’t, what’s your end of the bargain?”

“You have to ask me to go to the winter formal with you.” he said laughing.  But he was avoiding my eyes and I could see him blushing even underneath the dim streetlight on the park bench in the little playground we were sitting in.

In our school, the winter formal is girl’s choice, since we don’t do a Sadie Hawkins dance. But I didn’t think Ryan would be so bold as to place our bet on that.

“We’ll see about that.”

I was actually planning on asking him all along, but I wasn’t about to tell him that now!

“Go ahead, give it your best shot, what’s the secret ingredient?” he asked smirking at me confidently. But I just smirked right back.

When it came to bets, I wasn’t afraid to play dirty. And nothing in the rules we stated said anything about finding loopholes! I was laughing internally; Ryan has obviously never betted much before because he would have covered his back if he did. 

I scooched closer to him. “At least let me smell it,” I pleaded innocently,

“ok, I guess it’s only fair” He yielded.

Oh the sucker, he was too trusting! As he lifted the cone closer to me, I stuck my tongue out and took one big lick, looking daringly at him as I did. 

His eyes bulged and his mouth fell open in shock.

“Mmm pieces of coconut!“ I said, licking my lips as he gaped at me.

“You- You you can’t do that!” He stuttered
“oh but I just did!”
“that’s playing dirty”
“nothing wrong with being a little dirty,” I winked while I continued to eat my own ice cream happily.

 “Now like you said it’s about 8pm, so” I pause to look at the imaginary watch on my wrist, “You’re my slave for the next four hours.”

“Argh, fine even if you didn’t win fair and square,“ he glared at me, but he was so cute that I couldn’t possibly take him seriously.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked reluctantly.

“hmm my hand is getting tired, hold the cone for me while I lick.”

…

That was the stupidest thing I ever did.

Sure he held the cone, but just as I was about to take another lick, HE SMOOSHED IT INTO MY FACE.

“AHAHAHA!” He was laughing so hard he was nearly in tears.

“not funny!” I grumbled as I glare at him murderously, but he took one look at my face and burst into another fit of laughter.

After wiping the ice cream away with a napkin (THANK GOD I TOOK ONE), I got up, stood in front of Ryan and with one fell swoop, I snatched his cone out of his hand and did the exact same to him!

The ice cream was smooshed all over his mouth and chin and dripped down his neck.

“Ah! You little- “,

“aww no more ice cream left for Ryan” I teased, sarcastically pouting my lips for effect.

Both of our cones were on the ground now. He tried to lick as much of the ice cream as he could from his lips, and a sudden heat spread throughout my body as my eyes fixated on his tongue trailing over his bottom lip, tempting me.

“But there’s still a little left for me…” I said quietly,

I swear I lose my mind and my self-control a little more every time I see him.

“Ryan,” I swallowed dryly.  “Don’t forget you’re still technically my slave, so hold still” I commanded.

“hey I’ve still got ice cream on my face and I didn’t grab a napkin!” he protested, clearly not sensing the new mood I was in.

“Shhh, Close your eyes I’ll help clean it up.”

“Wait Ava, not my neck. I get really sensitive if people put their hands there.”

“Ok ok, I promise I won’t use my hands” My heart was beating wildly. I couldn’t help it, I loved teasing him, it was the one urge I couldn’t seem to resist; his reactions were just too satisfying.

He closed his eyes and sat still while I clambered onto his lap

“Ava wha-“
“Cookie, just stop talking.” I ordered bluntly, placing my hands on his chest.

I moved my head to the base of his throat where a drop of ice cream had dribbled down. My tongue flicked out to collect it, and I felt Ryan’s adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped nervously.

I followed the ice cream trail with my lips up his neck to his jawline, and I could feel him silently shuddering beneath me. He really was sensitive around his neck…

His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes were scrunched up slightly, like he was concentrating really hard on not pushing me away and keeping to the bet. To be honest, if it was me I would have punched anyone who tried to make me their slave. But you know maybe if Ryan pinned me down on the bed while we– Oh shit. I  SERIOUSLY have to stop thinking of these kinds of things, especially about Ryan.

I took small, kitten-like licks around his ice-cream covered jaw and moved incrementally higher; closer and closer to his lips but never quite on them. A huge part of me wanted to just hold his face in my hands and kiss him already, but I don’t. It wouldn’t be fair to Ryan who I know isn’t interested in me this way…or the perfect girl that he would end up with in the future.

Feeling a little disgruntled by that thought, I stopped, finished with my task and I pulled out the extra napkin I had all along to wipe the rest of the ice-cream from his lips.

His eyes opened slowly, as if he’d been in a trance; they were hooded and his pupils were slightly dilated as he whispered “You’re evil,” to me.

“Probably” I whispered back, biting my lip and patting his head before I got off his lap, smoothed out my clothes and started walking back in the direction of his street.

“You coming goody two shoes?” I called out.

And that seemed to to snap him back to his normal self, “Goody two shoes? That’s new” he laughed.

I smiled inwardly. Actually goody two shoes was an old one…probably the first one. Geez since when did I start giving him so many nicknames…

“Alright, alright. I’m coming sweetheart.” He grumbled, catching up to me.

And even though his tone was patronising, hearing his nickname for me again made my heart skip a beat.

_________________________________________________________________

We walked in silence for a little while, side by side down the sidewalk and across roads until we were back at his house.

“Thanks for sneaking out to hang out with me,” I thanked him, “Hey, are you gonna get caught? I’d hate for you to get punished because of me. Just tell your parents that it was all my bad influence corrupting your brain!”

“Haha, as much as I appreciate that, I probably won’t be caught. After 7pm my parents basically don’t come downstairs at all. Dad’s busy in his office the whole night with work, and my mom is constantly updating and rearranging her wardrobe OR she’s busy making plans in her diary and calling up friends. Such is the life of a socialite.” he sighed dramatically,

“they don’t have time to worry about me and what I’m doing, and they just assume I’m studying. Since my grades are pretty constant and I don’t act out behaviour-wise, they’ve never had a need to interfere…”

“Do you kind of wish they would though?” I asked carefully.

“Yeah sometimes, just to know that they actually care” he replied quietly.

“It’s the same with my mom…actually today’s my birthday and I think she’s forgotten about it completely–“I started to say.

“What!?” He exclaimed,

“Yeah I know right? How could my own mom forget my birthday!” I agreed with him.

“No not that, why didn’t you tell me?” he looked at me offended.

“That today is my birthday? It’s not a big deal, I don’t feel the need to broadcast to everyone that I’m just one year older than I was last year.”

“It is a big deal, you’re 18 today! You’ve been alive on this earth for the past 18 years, that’s nearly 2 decades”

“Gee way to make me feel old. “ I said jokingly. But Ryan looked so worked up about it.

“Ava you have to do something special, you’re never going to turn 18 again.”

“Why are you so hung up on the whole birthdays-are-special kind of thing anyway? It’s not even an achievement, you don’t even do anything, you just…keep living I guess.”

“But at least you are still living. Isn’t it a miracle that your parents found each other? That they made you, that you were born into the world from a few tiny cells to the person you are now? Haven’t you achieved so much in the space of 18 years? You learnt an entire language, learnt to walk, learnt to dance, to sing, to read and write. To laugh, to love…”

Ryan’s eyes were wide and he had the biggest smile on his face. I caught myself staring, I was fascinated by the way he really treasures life. And I couldn’t help but feel proud to hear about all these little miracles he told me I’ve achieved.

So I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tenderly. He stiffened for a second and I almost regretted hugging him for so long, but then put his arms around me too, and I wanted him to hold me like this for just a moment longer.

 “Thank you Ryan” I whispered against his chest. 

“For what?” he asked, the vibrations of his voice tickling my cheek.

“Just for being your smart cookie self.”

_________________________________________________________________

“Mom I’m home,” I called out as I stepped inside, “Mom?” 

All the lights are off…weird. 

Suddenly I saw the flash of a sparkler being lit and I turned on the kitchen lights to see my Mom standing there holding a plate with a huge frosted cupcake on it.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Ava, happy birthday to you!” she sang, smiling at me.

“Mom what’s all of this?” I asked, instantly feeling guilty for thinking that she’d forgotten about my birthday.

“What do you mean ‘all this’? Honey it’s your 18th birthday and this is your cake. Chocolate and Peanut butter; your favourite.”  She replied.

“I’m just surprised that you’re home this early, that’s all.” I said, taking off my jacket and scarf and boots.

“I couldn’t miss this one sweetheart___ not after having to miss your sweet 16th”

We sat down at the dinner table and I began to devour my cupcake. Mmmm I love the whole chocolate + peanut butter combo; Reeces pieces and peanut butter cups are my absolute favourite!

I felt her gaze on me as I ate, “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Oh nothing, I just can’t believe that my baby’s all grown up and 18 years old now.” She said smiling lovingly at me, but I could see the nostalgia swirling in her eyes as she continued,

“Your father would be so proud of you.” taking my hand into hers.

“And look what I found hiding in the cupboard” she said, placing a shiny plastic tiara that’s now too small for me, on my head.

My mouth twitched into a small smile as I remembered the birthday ritual Dad always used to do for me. He’d wake me up in the morning dressed up as a fancy butler with a bowtie and tea towel folded over his arm, he really went all out when it came to theatrics.

And he’d say “Good morning Princess Ava, would her majesty care for some breakfast?” Setting down a tray of waffles, ice cream and fresh berries that mom made, and placing a plastic tiara on my head, “or would she rather open her presents first?”

I always screamed “PRESENTS!”

…

“I’m sorry darling, I’ve got to go have a shower, it was a mad rush at the hospital and I’m all sweaty!”

“Haha ok mom” I laughed as she kissed my forehead and headed to her bedroom.

I missed moments like these. Where it felt like my mom had time for me and that I was important.

Trudging upstairs to my bedroom, I opened the door and fell onto my bed. Except my face didn’t collide with my fluffy, soft pillow, instead it came smacking down onto a hard black box.

“ARGH!” I exclaimed, rubbing my cheek vigorously. Pfff! as if rubbing it harder would make the pain go away faster! Picking up the box that attacked me I realised that there was a bow and a message attached.

Ava, I’m sorry that I haven’t been around much for the past few weeks, but I’d been working overtime so that I could buy you something special. Happy Birthday Honey, you’re 18 now and you have the key to the world in your hand. I love you. Mom xx

Opening the black cardboard box I saw the familiar turquoise blue of a Tiffany & Co bag and inside the wrapping was a beautiful silver necklace with a heart pendant inscribed with the trademark ‘Please return to Tiffany & Co…’. And connected to the heart pendant hung a little rose-gold key. 

It made me smile from ear to ear, and for some reason Ryan’s words to me earlier, came to mind.

I think I’m starting to like birthdays more and more.

**********************************************************
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