Thanksgiving came and went. For the first time in Martinez Fernandez history we celebrated it along outsiders. Or at least that was how mama called Adam and his parents.

The first terrible misunderstanding was when they realized that my family didn't do the traditional turkey and side dishes. Oh, no. We went full on Venezuelan on this. Our dinner was always pabellón criollo, which was marinated shredded beef, black beans with a sprinkle of cheese on top, white rice, fried sweet plantain and a couple of arepitas just in case the rest of the dish wasn't filling enough. Mama even went as far as to make papelón for the drink and quesillo for dessert.

For us this was a feast that required a lot of preparation and even more restraint to not eat as we prepared the meal. To Adam's parents this was sacrilege. We could tell that his dad was struggling not to explode by the way the veins in his neck bulged. Meanwhile both of my parents had similar symptoms of discomfort.

Meanwhile Adam tucked in with gusto, delighted at the flavors and the fact that for once he got to switch things up a bit. Toni's eyes shone like she'd struck gold, and maybe she had. I was genuinely happy for her that she hadn't landed a complete douchebag. Seeing him melt at the flavor of mama's quesillo definitely bought him a ton of points with me.

Sawyer spent the whole weekend with Manny, which was a relief. I couldn't imagine what thanksgiving with Jack Logan only would be like. I saved him some leftovers that I took to school for him on Monday. It wasn't easy to pass them on to him without anyone noticing. We ended up agreeing to take simultaneous bathroom breaks from our respective classes and meeting in the hallway. I took out the food from the cooler I'd left in my locker and gave it to him, which he took as an invitation to steal a kiss from me. I wasn't precisely complaining.

After lunch he texted me, If you learn to cook like this I'll marry you.

I texted back the angel emoji along with, If you learn to cook like this I may consider letting you hang out with me for a few years.

The only acceptable response to that was exactly what he said next. Touché.

And then December arrived with a chilly little breeze in the air that most people didn't care about in Central Florida. Regardless of the temperature, it was always shorts and sandals weather here. In the back of my mind I knew that this was the month for early admission results, but I wasn't worried. Mr. Davies and the Principal sent the promised recommendation letters on my behalf and that along with my killer application were going to get me into Rollins. I was going to get my name in Metro High's history, up there with Peyton O'Hare and her best friend, Ellen Young.

Even after Thanksgiving I kept finding ways to feed Sawyer. Maybe that was my language of love, or maybe I was still feeling guilty for the whole scene with Lexie. Although it had got her off my back and yes, she ceased chasing after him and trying to persuade him to get with her, it didn't buy him any peace at school. People whispered and giggled when he passed by, and although he didn't give a hoot, I did.

"Are you trying to make me gain weight?" he asked once as he wolfed down a sandwich I'd made him while at the school library, instead of focusing on his homework.

"That was supposed to be for dinner," I whispered with a frown.

Sawyer shrugged. "I'm hungry."

I gave him a droll stare. "And I'm trying to do what?"

He snorted but kept eating. "Fatten me. Is it to eat me later?"

I smacked him upside the head and forced him back to his books. He choked for a hot second as he tried to laugh and swallow a mouthful at the same time and I had zero sympathy for him. Every moment with him was like this, one second we'd be all nice and normal and the next one he'd put images in my head that haunted me in the middle of the night. Like he was tempting me on purpose.

To be clear, I wasn't some sort of saint. I didn't have a purity ring or anything like that. I'd just honestly never considered being with someone intimately before college. Not even when I'd been in the throes of my crush on Ryan Romano, and I caught myself staring at him during class, did I think of anything past kisses that now I'd consider lukewarm with definitely visible hands.

Sawyer made my blood boil. He woke sensations in my body up that now I couldn't send back to sleep.

He was driving me crazy.

So while he worked on his homework, I worked on Yearbook activities. In the end we did decide to make some original artwork for it, and I had the honor of figuring all that out. It was a lot more stressful than it seemed like at first. I was pumped for creating something cool and was drafting some initial ideas that the committee showed interest on, but the more I thought about it the more nervous I got. I was no expert at illustrations, and unlike the mural in the baby's room, this was going to stay forever. As my niece or nephew grew up and developed their own interests, they may want to replace it with something else. Maybe with their own ideas, or maybe with a new composition from me.

But this? This was going to be printed and all the kids in my class were going to hold on to it, at least for a while. That was a kind of permanence I'd never faced with any of my scribbles or doodles.

Which was why Sawyer broke our cardinal rule while in school one afternoon during tutoring session. He noticed I was freaking out about my latest concept and literally pulled me up from my chair. He dragged my by my wrist to a secluded corner. I had the presence of mind to look around, but the only other students aside from us were engrossed at the opposite end of the sitting area in what looked like a card game.

"What's going on with you?" he asked me as he backed us fully out of sight. It was a perfect nook between two shelves' corners and a portion of wall, and Sawyer's body ended up being like a fourth wall that boxed me out of sight.

I rubbed my sweaty palms against my jeans and just to deflect from myself I said, "Is this another one of your hidden makeup hangouts?"

One of his eyebrows went up.

"It wasn't, but since you bring that up now it could be." As he said this he leaned an arm against the corner of a bookshelf and lowered his face to mine. Except he noticed I wasn't really in a romantic mood. "Okay, seriously. Answer the question."

I sighed and backed against the wall. "I can't come up with something good enough for people to have in print forever in their yearbooks."

His face scrunched up. "What about all those drawings you showed me? They're amazing."

"Thank you." Hearing him say this did bring a little smile to my face, but then again my hands were wringing with anxiety as well. "They're okay, but not, you know, something that I'd feel good about having out there forever."

Sawyer rubbed his chin as he regarded me with those bright, smart eyes of his that always saw through me. His lips curled up.

"You're afraid."

I pursed mine. "You don't have to look happy about that."

"Oh, it's not bad for a change," he said with a shrug. "You're always projecting an aura of perfection and efficiency. Turns out you're a human deep down."

My eyes rolled. "Thanks for the advice."

"Hey," as he said this he won the battle between him and the space in between us. He gathered me in his arms and spoke low. "You know I'm your biggest fan. You'll work this out and come up with something deign of you."

"You think?" I asked him, resting my forehead against his chest. He put the palm of his hand against my nape. I felt the calluses on his hand, the hands of someone who worked hard, and as his fingers threaded through my hair I loved them. I loved everything about that moment.

Sawyer kissed the top of my head and said, "I know so."

I choked up with emotion.

"And if it's fear of making something that lasts forever," as he said this he tilted my head up. I blinked all slow, expecting his lips on mine any second. But his eyes were alight with more amusement than desire. "Then I give you permission to design me a tattoo."

My jaw hung open. "What?"

"I've been thinking about getting one for my birthday," he mused, looking up as if he were envisioning it. "I just don't have enough money yet to pay someone for the design and then the execution."

I pretended to be affronted. "So you're with me just for my drawing skills?"

That was when the kiss came. He pulled away quickly. "Nah, it's more because I can't stop stealing little tastes of you."

I shook my head, as if that didn't make me feel all sorts of warm in places.

"You're incorrigible," I said.

This was what I'd dreamed of all along, as I strove to be the very best version of what I thought my parents wanted in their daughters. The unconditional acceptance and support. Yes, they loved me, but I didn't recall a pivotal moment like this with them. I'd always seen them bestow these gifts to Toni from afar. Between Toni, my friends and now Sawyer I had absolutely everything I'd ever dreamed of and more.

I was riding that high as we made our way back to our table to focus on our respective assignments, and it gave me some motivation to try to look at my concepts differently. Maybe it wasn't so much about the art itself, but the fact that the concepts were not fitting the topic. I'd initially thought about tying in with the fairy tale concept of the Homecoming dance, but that wasn't exactly representative of school. It wasn't like we had wizards, fairies and a host of princes at Metro High. If anything we had a bunch of trolls and gargoyles, and I didn't think that theme was going to get approved by the committee no matter how fitting.

No, I had to think of a concept that would be fun to execute, memorable and a real reflection of the high school experience. And then it hit me with a bang. Bathroom graffitis. But without the nasty bits.

I pulled a blank page from my notebook and started making doodles and adding quotes of moments I remembered our class had shared the past four years. A few about the cool teachers, where of course Mr. Davies made an appearance. I made doodles of the different sports teams and clubs we had. I was starting to get really in the groove of things when my phone vibrated on the table. I ignored it at first, but a couple of minutes later it vibrated again. It jolted me out of focus, wondering if something was up.

When I picked up my cellphone and saw the lock screen, my heart bottomed.

I jumped to my feet so fast that I nearly toppled the chair. It made the most awful scratching noise, and if no one had paid attention to us before, the card game had definitely been interrupted now.

Sawyer stood up too and asked, "Is it Toni?"

I shook my head, but I couldn't produce any sound even as I read the text message. I stood frozen for what felt like forever, until a shadow fell over me. I looked up, but I could barely see Sawyer's face through my tears. He took my phone and read the message. By the time his eyes met mine I was full on sobbing.

"I'm sorry," he said. And it didn't matter that the librarian or the kids playing games saw us. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight for as long as it took.

I'd just been rejected from Rollins.

did we also forget about this lil bit?