I wanted to kill myself.

I walk up to the front door of his house and I wanted the ground to eat me up. Why? You ask. Because as I was leaving the house I glanced at my dresser where I could see the makeup aunt Helen had given me for my sixteenth birthday. It was practically untouched, other than a wedding or two and Elle had forced me to wear some to a party one time back when we were friends. So why I decided to stick the crap all over my face today of all days I have no idea. But now that I was standing in front of the door to the guy that made my stomach flip-flop I prayed to cupid he wouldn't notice that I had actually made an effort for him. I felt dirty and uncomfortable. The eyeliner that I am sure I applied wrong was itchy and the lipstick on my lips was too sticky. I am more used to mascara wearing it to school more frequently but for some reason today the tube of gunk seemed old and gloopy. Do not even get me started on the liquid eyeliner I have now scrubbed off to the point wear the skin of my eye lids I'm pretty sure was red and raw.

This was already turning out to be a fabulous evening.

With a deep breath I knock on the door. I wait around for a few seconds and when I'm about to knock again the door flys open.

"Hey Lettie thanks for coming." But all I could really hear was the screaming baby. Asher seemed frazzled, more than he had in a few days. I almost laughed at the apron he was wearing but he didn't look like he found it at all amusing. "she wont stop crying."

"Did you feed her?"

"Did I feed her?!" he asks sarcastically clearly agitated. "Of course I fed her."

"Just asking sheesh." I reply with my hands up I shut the door behind myself and follow my ears to the crying baby. "Wheres my angel." She was lying in the moses basket we bought her the day before and her little eyes were scrunched and angry. Her little fists were clenched and flying about and her face was red and blotchy. I picked her up, she looked too adorable wearing a little white baby grow.  When I turn around to ask Asher when the last time he changed her nappy was I came up empty when I realised he wasn't behind me like I thought he was.

"Asher!.... Asher!" I call but India started crying when I was shouting too loudly. I turn around to go look for him and I make it two steps when I notice on the table a pile of junk food. I walk towards it wondering why it was left out and see a note written in neat cursive writing.

'Lettie,

I know, I'm a jerk. I tricked you into baby sitting while I go out.

Eat all the food you want and theres a ton of movies on the shelf,

Thanks, Asher.'

I screw up the paper into a ball and throw it at the wall imagining it was his head. I put India back in the moses basket and sprint to the door.

"Little bitch!" I pull it open just in time to see the mom truck pull away. Because that's what his fudging SUV was 'a mum-mobile.'

He flashed me a gorgeous smile and beeped his horn and drove away. "ASS WHOLE!" I scream at the back of his car. I trudge inside slamming the door with more force than necessary.

"India it looks like we're having a girly night in." I say picking her up. Asher had written down his netflix password so I immediately switch on the lion king. Best movie of all time. I lie down and lay the baby on my chest. She had stopped crying by now and was enjoying my attention.

"When your older we'll watch Horror movies together. You'll love it. But for now, lion king is pretty cool."

She just gurgles at me.

"I know they're scary. Now, the trick is to watch the really bad ones and then you can laugh at them." She reaches for my face and starts patting it gently making noises.

"Yes okay, when I forgive your daddy maybe he can watch it with us. Stupid boy has a lot of making up to do though."

Is this all I am to him? His free personal baby sitter. I was here out of....

Why was I even here.

The was no question in my mind that when I looked down at the adorable dark haired little girl with beautiful blue eyes I was here for her. But I was here for another reason too but I will deny it until the little dick apologises.

"Your dad is in so much trouble." I tell her in a baby voice. "yes he is."

He insinuated that the three of us would be here all evening and he would make me dinner. Hell he practically insinuated it was a date. Fine maybe that was wishfull thinking but even so. The guys an idiot.

"You know India girls are so much easier than boys. You'll be happier if you grow up to be a lesbian. I tried, and failed." I admit while soothingly rubbing her back. "The thing about boys is that they always want something. Sex, babysitting, money, a back rub. It's exhausting. You know?"

"Well I guess you do you live with your daddy, and uncle Jeremy who I can't imagine being the most sensible of people. You know what though. I haven't known your daddy for very long but I kind of like him." All I get is her soft breathing. "Yes I know India I am mad at him, but I'll get him back."

"Don't look at me like that I'm an amazing pranker!" oh my goodness I'm going completely bonkers talking to a sleeping baby imagining her judging me.

"Your right. I'm useless but I'll think of something." She makes a small grunting sound and I take the liberty of assuming that was the nod of approval. I stared at her as her little eyes began drooping once more. The kid was cute she'd give Asher that.

"Sleep my little princess." I lower my voice to a whisper as she settles down even more and her breathing evens to a quite slumber, her face turns towards my chest and she breaths a warm sigh that hits my chest and melts my heart all at once.  "I don't know who your mum'ma was but she was an idiot to leave something as perfect as you behind. I'll tell you a secret though." I whisper so quietly I can barely hear my self. "I kind of hope she doesn't come to her senses." My mouth went dry when I realised what I had said, that was a selfish and stupid thought, very immoral and slightly sadistic, bad Lettie.  

'We. Are. Family. I got all my sisters with me.'

"Damn it Dallas I just got the baby down." I snap as I answer the phone, whisper shouting.

"Oh and when did you have this baby. I mean Jesus woman. I go to collage for two seconds and allready you've been up the duff." He was trying to match my level of what he thought was sarcasm but I actually had put a baby to sleep. Not that Dallas knew much about that.

"I guess you could say I'm baby sitting, I actually did just put a baby to bed and yes you did just wake her up." Luckily she drifted strait back to sleep but I wasn't about to let Dallas off the hook.

"Oh, I miss baby sitting." He sighs

"Mum banned you." I remind him flopping back on the couch and kicking my feet up.

"It was just a misunderstanding."

"You hid her baby and pretended it was kidknapped. The poor woman still has panic attacks about it." Poor Mrs shenton. Dallas is just lucky she didn't get the police involved.

"I thought it would be funny" he whined. I scoff. "Whose kid are you baby sitting?"

"Some guy tricked me into sitting for him, I'm gonna kick his ass when he comes back."

"huh, so he left you alone with his kid. He gonna pay you?"

"Probably not."

"And he tricked you...." I could hear his scheming mind ticking.

"I am not gonna hide his baby."

"I think you should hide his baby." We said at the exact same time. He started hysterically laughing while I had a dead panned face. Classic Dallas. He stops laughing when on his end I hear 'Baby I'm back and I bought handcuffs.' With out another word I hang up stuff my phone down the back of the couch and wish the mental image away. Dallas at 10 years old with mums tampon stuck in his ear. Dallas wearing the pink shirt Bunny had bought for him. Dallas climbing a tree and getting stuck so mum had to call the fire department. That one was only a couple of weeks before he went to collage.

Suddenly the phone rings and im greatfull for the mental distraction. It wasn't my phone though. It was Ashers home phone. Of course India starts crying at the noise. I look at the machine and the word Melony is displayed. I'm tempted to answer just so I could take the piss probably out of his booty call but something stops me so instead I go and pick up India rocking back and forward. Until she's happily gurgling and pulling my hair.

I am no saint, when the message came on I wasn't going to turn my ears off for the sake of privacy.  The guy left me in his house home alone and as far as I could see it, it could be an emergency. Like we all had to stay inside because a hippo was on the loose. I mean you don't know until you do. So I could have just muted the message but I wanted, I mean had to listen you know in case of emergency's... like a rampaging hippo?

'I'm out, I'm coming." Well that isn't ominous at all. "coming to take her back she's mine, I want Barbie. Where's my Barbie, give her back. I want her Asher. I'm coming" She sounds old enough not to need a Barbie that's for sure.

"India I take it back I don't like horror movies." I whisper to the baby. Even she is still and looking at the voicemail machine like who ever was talking is a whacko. She keeps looking at the voice mail then back to me where if I wasn't completely creeped out and responsible for a small infant it would have been pretty funny.

"Huh. What do you reakon to calling your daddy?" first I have to awkwardly manoeuvre the baby around my body while digging down the back of the couch for my mobile cursing Dallas and handcuffs the whole time. When I finally find the phone down the very back crevices of the couch where might I just add I also found a fiver and an old disgusting slice of pizza. If I were to guess I'd say it used to be pepperoni. Needless to say that gets thrown across the room for Asher to deal with later. I call his number and go around casually but also if we were being honest manically locking all the doors and windows. While considering moving large pieces of furniture across major entrances and exits as a barricade. But you know only considering because whos freaking out? I'm not. Pft.  

When he doesn't pick up I go to Indias last bottle and fling a bit of milk on the leather jacket "oops." I shrug making sure its defiantly ruined. "Daddy is winding me up" I coo to the baby trying not to freak her out.  "Lettie is very very annoyed with daddy. Yes she is."

I dial again and he picks up on the second ring.

"Daddy? I mean Asher Ash-er." If I had a free hand one of them would be slapping my head.

"umm. If you want me to be?"

"No actually I don't" very chill. Good job, just play it off.... It never happened... ever.  "Listen, you have to come back. You got a very creepy intense voice message from some freaky lady wanting her Barbie back."

His voice goes serious which makes me feel worse. "What exactly did she say."

"I don't know nothing that wasn't creepy and didn't freak me out." I clarify helpfully.

"helpful." I can almost hear him rolling his eyes. "Okay I'm on my way. Keep the doors locked-" I hang up. I already did that, very helpful, women have brains too.

I look down at the baby in my arms who is looking up at me with those baby blues, "I have a very suspicious feeling that your mum is a psychopath." I coo in the happiest fakest voice I can muster.