OK BACK TO THE FUN CHAPTERS

ROCKWOOD's POV

DAMN, I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT SUSPENDED! NOT THAT I CARE ANYWAY SINCE I BARELY EVER GO. BUT NOW I CAN'T CONTINUE MY SEARCH FOR MORE DELICIOUS SHIRTS TO EAT! MY ORIGINAL GOAL WAS TO FIND ONE OF THAT DU BOIS PIPSQUEAK'S SHIRTS AGAIN SINCE THE LAST ONE TASTED SO GOOD, BUT I REALIZED THAT I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO GET MY HANDS ON ONE, SO I RESORTED TO MY PLAN B: FINDING A REPLACEMENT SHIRT THAT TASTED ALMOST AS GOOD.

AND I PROBABLY WOULD'VE SUCCEEDED AND GOT AWAY WITH IT IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT GIRL AND THAT DAMN DU BOIS!!

NOW I HAVE TO TELL MY POOR GRANDMA THAT I'VE BEEN SUSPENDED!! WAIT, UNLESS!!

I COULD JUST DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO: LEAVE THE HOUSE SO SHE THINKS I'M AT SCHOOL AND THEN GO MESS AROUND SOMEWHERE ELSE INSTEAD.

IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN!!!

"BYE HALMEONI, I'M GOING TO SCHOOL NOW!" I TELL HER. I WAVE GOODBYE AND HEAD OUT THE DOOR. IT'S LIKE 10AM BUT I'M ALWAYS LATE ANYWAY SO SHE'LL NEVER NOTICE ANYTHING'S WRONG. I KICK A ROCK WHILE I WALK DOWN THE SIDEWALK. WHAT SHOULD I DO TODAY? I CAN'T GET MY MIND OFF THAT SHIRT. BUT NOW THAT MY PLAN'S BEEN FOILED I CAN'T GET ONE ANYMORE...

MY OWN SHIRTS JUST DON'T DO IT...THEY TASTE LIKE BLAND UNSEASONED LETTUCE OR SOMETHING. AND BRAND NEW SHIRTS ARE COMPLETELY TASTELESS. THAT'S WHY THEY HAVE TO BE WORN SHIRTS. YEAH, IT DOESN'T FEEL THE GREATEST HAVING TO STEAL THEM, BUT STEALING IS NOTHING NEW FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME, AND WHAT OTHER CHOICE DO I HAVE?

I ROAM THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND MAKE MY WAY INTO TOWN, HOPING MAYBE THERE WILL BE A STRAY SHIRT ON THE GROUND SOMEWHERE. AS I WALK, I FIND IT KINDA FUNNY WATCHING PEOPLE COWER IN FEAR AND RUN TO THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THR ROAD WHEN I PASS BY. I HOLD BACK A SMIRK.

A CAT HISSES AND RUNS OFF. AWW, IT WAS KINDA CUTE....NO, I'M SUPPOSED TO ACT COOL AND TOUGH!! I CAN'T BE GOING AROUND PETTING CATS! JUST THEN I HEAR FOOTSTEPS AND A VOICE.

"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU DAMN CAT?" THE VOICE SOUNDS HOSTILE, AND I NARROW MY EYES. A MAN COMES FROM AROUND THE CORNER HOLDING A SPIKED BAT. LOOKS ABOUT 5'10"...HMPH, I CAN TAKE HIM. I LET LOOSE MY SMIRK AND CROSS THE STREET, CUTTING OFF A SLEAZY LOOKING ASSHOLE. HE IMMEDIATELY STRAIGHTENS UP, GRABBING THE BAT EVEN TIGHER.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" I SAY, USING THE SCARIEST VOICE I CAN MAKE

"NONE OF YER BUSINESS! GET OUTTA THE WAY SO I CAN CATCH THAT, UH, MY, CAT!" THE MAN TRIES TO PUSH ME OUT OF THE WAY, BUT NATURALLY I'M TOO BIG. THEN HE TRIES TO MOVE AROUND ME, BUT I JUST SLIDE TO THE SIDE.

"I MAY BE DUMB, BUT I'M NOT THAT DUMB," I SAY THREATENINGLY, GETTING CLOSER TO HIM AND GRIPPING HIS SHOULDER. NORMALLY, THIS IS THE POINT WHERE PEOPLE RUN AWAY, BUT THIS GUY STANDS STRONG, GLARING AT ME EVEN HARDER. I SMIRK. "YOU'VE GOT BALLS, SIR." I HOLD BACK A WINCE AT THE "SIR" THAT SLIPPED OUT. MY GRANDMA ALWAYS TAUGHT ME TO RESPECT MY ELDERS AND I GUESS SOME HABITS DIE HARD. HOWEVER, A DICKHEAD LIKE THIS DESERVES NO RESPECT.

"HOW ABOUT YOU GET OUT OF MY WAY, PUNK?" STILL NOT PICKING HIS BATTLES WISELY, I SEE. I GIVE HIM A THREATENING SMILE, AND HE BACKS UP A BIT, BUT HE STILL SEEMS DEFENSIVE.

"WHAT'S THAT BAT FOR?" THE MAN LOOKS ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND GLARES AT ME WITH AN EVIL SMILE.

"THAT-MY CAT'S BEEN CAUSING ME LOADS OF TROUBLE LATELY. FIGURED I NEED TO TEACH 'IM A LESSON." AS HE SPEAKS, HIS GRIP AROUND THE BAT TIGHTENS, AND I HAVE MY ANSWER.

"YOU TAKE ONE STEP TOWARDS THAT CAT, YOU'LL BE THE ONE BEING TAUGHT A LESSON," I GROWL. HE LAUGHS COCKILY. APPARENTLY HE STILL HASN'T TAKEN THE HINT THAT HE SHOULD BACK OFF IF HE CARES FOR HIS SAFETY.

"WHAT ARE YA SO DEFENSIVE FOR? I'M NOT GOING TO HURT HIM! THIS IS JUST...TO SCARE HIM FROM CAUSING MORE TROUBLE." EVEN SOMEONE AS DUMB AS ME COULD SEE THAT HE'S CLEARLY LYING, BUT I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO. I SIGH.

"I'LL GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF FIVE TO LEAVE THAT CAT ALONE BEFORE I MAKE YOU," I SAY. I STAND UP AS TALL AS I CAN WITH MY SCARIEST GLARE, AND FINALLY THE GUY STARTS TO COWER.

"ONE."

I GRAB HIS BAT AND SNAP IT LIKE A TOOTHPICK. I'M CAREFUL NOT TO HURT MYSELF ON THE NAILS. THE GUY GASPS AND STARTS BACKING AWAY.

"O-OKAY! I GIVE! I'LL LEAVE THE STUPID FUCKING CAT ALONE!" HE SAYS.

"GOOD. YOU KNOW, I COULD DO THAT," I POINT AT HIS BROKEN BAT ON THE GROUND, "TO YOU TOO, SO YOU'D BETTER STAY AWAY FROM ALL THE OTHER CATS, OR I WILL FIND YOU AND MAKE YOU REGRET IT." OKAY, MAYBE THE "FIND YOU" PART'S A BIT OF A BLUFF, BUT SURELY IT'LL WORK ON SOMEONE WHO'S ALREADY SHITTING HIMSELF.

"OKAY, JUST PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!!" HE SHRIEKS AS HE RUNS AWAY.

THAT TOOK LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. I START TO WALK AWAY WHEN I HEAR LOUD MEOWING. I SEE THE CAT FROM BEFORE LOOKING AT ME FROM BEHIND A STREET POST. IT'S WHITE WITH BLACK SOCKS AND VERY CUTE, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S LIMPING AS IT WALKS UP TO ME. I SEE A LARGE CUT ON ONE OF ITS FRONT LEGS, AND I PICK UP THE CAT. IT LOOKS AT ME WITH A SURPRISINGLY SCARY GLARE FOR A LITTLE GUY LIKE HIM. I PICK IT UP AND LOOK AT THE CUT. NOT TOO DEEP, BUT THE LEG LOOKS BENT AND POSSIBLY BROKEN. THERE'S A VET NEARBY, SO I DECIDE TO TAKE HIM THERE. I PET HIS HEAD AS I CROSS THE STREET, JOGGING DOWN A COUPLE BLOCKS.

I RUN INTO THE VET, THROWING THE DOOR OPEN. I RUN UP TO THE DESK AND SHOUT, "I JUST SAVED THIS CAT FROM AN ATTACKER BUT HIS LEG'S HURT!!"

"IT'S NOT YOUR CAT?" ASKS THE LADY AT THE DESK.

"NO, HE'S A STRAY BUT I MIGHT KEEP HIM."

"ALRIGHT. WAIT OUT HERE IN THE LOBBY. IT'S A BUSY DAY AND YOU DON'T HAVE AN APPOINTMENT SO IT MIGHT BE A WHILE." I NOD AND GO SIT DOWN.

I TAKE OUT MY FLIP PHONE AND CALL MY GRANDMA.

"HI HALMEONI, IT'S ME COLE," I GREET.

"COLE? AREN'T YOU AT SCHOOL?" SHE ASKS.

"NO, I'M NOT AT SCHOOL. I SAVED A CAT SO I'M AT THE VET." LUCKILY, MY GRANDMA IS SURPRISINGLY CHILL AND NOT THAT STRICT (PROBABLY HOW I ENDED UP LIKE THIS). PLUS, SHE HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR CATS, SO I KNOW SHE WON'T BE TOO MAD.

"GOYANG-I?"

"YEAH. SOME JERK WAS ATTACKING IT AND ITS LEG'S BROKEN." I STROKE THE CAT'S HEAD, AND IT PURRS QUIETLY.

"IS IT STRAY CAT?" I CAN HEAR THE EAGERNESS IN HER VOICE.

"YEAH. CAN WE KEEP IT?" GRANDMA IS QUIET FOR A BIT.

"OKAY," SHE SAYS FINALLY, AND I FIGHT THE BIG SMILE THAT COMES TO MY FACE. "I'LL COME TO VET TO PICK YOU UP AND PAY FOR GOYANG-I'S TREATMENT."

"OKAY, KAMSAHAMNIDA HALMEONI," I SAY, HANGING UP THE PHONE.

THE CAT LOOKS UP AT ME CUTELY. RIGHT, I STILL NEED TO NAME HIM.

"HOW 'BOUT I CALL YOU 'STEEL'?" I SAY. AS IF TO AGREE, STEEL MEOWS HAPPILY.

TIME SKIP: IDK, ABOUT 5 HOURS OR SOMETHING DON'T ASK ME

THE VET LOOKED AT STEEL AND SAID HE (SHE, ACTUALLY) HAD TO GET SURGERY ON HER LEG. I'M SITTING WITH MY GRANDMA OUT IN THE LOBBY WHEN THEY FINALLY BRING STEEL OUT IN A SMALL CARRIER.

"I'M GLAD YOU SAVED HER, SWEETIE," GRANDMA SAYS. I TRY NOT TO SMILE PROUDLY.

ONCE WE'RE OUT THE DOOR, GRANDMA UNLOCKS THE CAR AND TURNS TO ME. "LET'S STOP BY THE PET STORE ON THE WAY BACK TO BUY SOME FOOD FOR YOUR KITTY."

"OKAY," I SAY, TOTALLY NOT EXCITED. "I NAMED HER STEEL, BY THE WAY."

"STEEL...A FIERCE NAME FOR A TOUGH KITTY LIKE HER." I SMILE AND NOD, PETTING STEEL.

I DON'T THINK I NEED STUPID DELICIOUS SHIRTS, AS LONG AS I HAVE STEEL TO KEEP ME COMPANY.

HEY GUYS ITS YA BOI

THE ENDING WAS KIND OF RUSHED, BUT IF I DIDN'T RUSH IT THEN THIS CHAPTER WOULDN'T BE OUT UNTIL 2030 AND I'VE TAKEN LONG ENOUGH ALREADY.

I'VE DECIDED TO MAKE ROCKWOOD HALF KOREAN SO THAT HES JUST LIKE ME AND ALSO BC I REALIZED I FORGOT TO MAKE FUN OF ONE OF MY BIGGEST WATTPAD/FANFICTION PET PEEVES

ALTHOUGH OUR GAY KING BRAD DOESN'T SHOW UP IN THIS CHAPTER, THE STAR HERE IS ROCKWOOD, WHO IS QUICKLY BECOMING MY FAVORITE CHARACTER WHILE PLANNING OUT THE STORY

I LOVE THAT THIS IS BASICALLY A SHITPOST PARODY OF A STORY BECAUSE IT ALLOWS ME TO PLAY AROUND WITH DIFFERENT WRITING STYLES AND GAGS WITH NO OBLIGATION OF CONSISTENCY