Hello! I have a long weekend and I'm grounded, so I thought I might come through with a double update. I hope you all enjoy :)

***

The girls and I all assemble around various elegant chairs and love seats. A long glass table occupies the exact centre of the room. I can see various hallways on either side of me branching out to endless doorways and spaces away from prying eyes. Perfect for a rose ceremony.

It's been a day since Harry and I last saw each other. Although our brief meeting at the house was enough to keep me sane, it wasn't exactly enough to satiate me. I won't let anything come between us tonight.

Astrid sits across the room and I shoot her a suspicious glance. I am certain now that she knows all about me, and I am certain that she gained this information through Luke. I need to be careful- very careful- in order to keep her mouth shut, but then again, I'm not giving up my time with Harry when no threat is set in stone.

Butterflies invade my stomach and my senses tingle eagerly, awaiting the arrival of the man I have become so enamoured with. I think it's true what they say- that absence makes the heart grow fonder- because mine seems to be swelling out of my chest right about now.

5 minutes pass and mindless chatter among the other girls serves as background noise- static- a precursor to something I would much rather be hearing- Harry, of course. My toes tap impatiently and I glance around searchingly until finally, I hear the familiar thud of heavy, surefooted strides against the aged wood of the old house's floor. Harry is here.

My guess is confirmed as the sweet man I've been longing for rounds the corner, now standing in front of us in all his 6 foot glory. His hair rests in perfect curls atop his head, as always, and I find at a contrast to usual, he wears a blue suit instead of black. He looks impeccable.

The girls all cheer as Harry enters and I don't restrain myself in joining them. I like to see Harry, why should I have to hide how I really feel? I may not be 'in love' with him as all the other girls claim to be, but I can finally show the appreciation I truly feel.

He trots over and squishes himself in-between Danielle and Karen. They both bat their eyelashes longingly, and I try hard to suppress the surge of jealousy attempting to invade my thoughts. I need to remain cool, calm, and collected during this rose ceremony if I want to stay on Harry's good side. Of all our conflict, at least 50% has stemmed from my jealousy and selfishness, something that I need to learn to tone down. I'll start my training tonight.

Instead of the disappointed frown I want to display, instead a cheerful smile takes hold of my face and I'm leaning forward, hanging off of Harry's every word.

"Hello all you wonderful ladies, it is so lovely to see you all tonight!" Harry exclaims to thunderous applause.

"As you know, time is moving forward, and so are my relationships with all of you. Tonight is going to be really tough, but I want you all to know that I have grown to like each and everyone of you in a unique, special way." Harry announces. The girls swoon, and I have a hard time trying to remind myself that this is a script. Or is it? I had no trouble seeing the plasticity of his sentiments before this week, why do his words sound so much heavier now?

I try to push the nagging feeling of envy out of my mind and instead focus on Harry. Danielle's hand rests against his thigh, so I lean back against the couch and decide it may be better to keep my attention elsewhere. I don't need to be seeing any of that tonight.

After the girls have finished praising Harry, Tanya wastes no time in snagging him up and leading him off down one of the mysterious hallways. The rest of us girls sit and chat, but I find in less than 10 minutes the couple have returned. Instead of standing idly and allowing another girl to snatch him away, Harry makes a straight pursuit for me.

"Charlotte, care to join me?" He questions. I notice for the first time on a group date he carries a glass of wine with him. I don't think I've ever seen him drink on camera, if only a sip here or there. I wonder what has changed his mood tonight.

"Of course." i respond, respectful of the camera's focused on us. I can't be looking too overzealous to the viewers of America.

Harry grasps my hand tightly and swiftly pulls me off down a separate hallway, as if he's running from something. I realize he may be afraid that we will be separated as we were just a day ago. I will not let that happen, and evidently, neither will he.

Finally, him and I reach our final destination. A little terrace branching off a small bedroom contained within the second floor of the house. I'm guessing the producers have rented some Italian millionaire's property for the night, and I have no objections. The view over the little town is perfect, the sun having just set, lights of the city twinkling and glowing through the darkness.

"Thank god." Harry remarks as we take a seat together. He refuses to release my hand, and I don't want him to.

"What?"

"I haven't seen you in days." Harry has no restraint. I'm surprised at his directness, especially since we're on camera, but I can't help but laugh.

"I know! It must have been horrible!" I exclaim sarcastically, widening my eyes and raising my brows suggestively.

"Aww, did you miss me?" Harry teases and I let my tongue stick through my teeth as I grin.

"No, I mean not seeing me. Must have been absolutely awful!" I joke. It takes Harry a moment to process what I'm saying, but once he does he lets out the loudest shriek of laughter I've ever heard.

This sound produces the same from me, and Harry and I are both left giggling to ourselves like idiots as the camera's continue to film.

"What's gotten into you?!" I declare incredulously, looking him up and down, trying to size him up. Although nothing appears out of the ordinary, his eyes do seem a little more distant that normal- droopy and unfocused. I have a feeling it may have something to do with the red wine clutched between his fingers.

"Nothing! I'm the same old Harry." He proclaims, puffing his chest out in an effort to prove himself. At this I laugh, and I can't help but reaching my hand up to run through his soft locks. Now that we're sitting, our height difference does not prevent me from examining his face in full.

I examine the little bits of stubble starting to grow in and form around his lips and jaw. His eyes look particularly green, brought out excellently by the blue of his suit, and his lips look to be a darker, deeper red- almost like blood. I have to compose myself for a moment to prevent from attacking him with my own. I must wait- it would be unladylike.

"Say something." Harry urges me. I don't let my touch fall as I comply.

"I missed you." I state, quietly now. The humour has evaporated quickly. Harry's eyes soften and I see him perk up.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, very much." I let myself reply, being a little too sweet. My personality bubbles up and I feel a slight opposition to making a comment like this, but I'm able to suppress the discomfort. I told Harry I would stop being selfish, so that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to tell him how I feel. At least a little.

"I think it's against the rules to give you a real reply." Harry murmurs and I laugh again. I know what he wants to say, the problem is that he can't. I'm sure he's signed a contract which legally requires ambiguity on his part. I don't mind, I can infer what he's actually thinking

"Cheers, then." I humour him, raising my own glass to his. Harry cheerfully complies and takes a luxurious gulp. My brows raise a little in surprise, but I make no comment. I don't need the viewers of America thinking Harry is an alcoholic. I will ask him about the sudden change in behaviour later.

"Did you like your other group date the other day?" I continue our conversation. I can't think of anything else to say now that I've lost my train of thought. Harry turns to me skeptically, obviously surprised I'm inquiring about his relationships with the other girls, but does not hesitate in responding.

"Yes, of course. I love spending time with you guys. Especially on all these cools dates. I mean, we're in Italy, for God's sakes!" Harry exclaims enthusiastically, but this response is obviously tailored for the show. It's not what he really feels- at least I don't think so.

I'm about to pose another question, but hear the clearing of a throat from behind me. It's Amber come to interrupt. I feel a flare of anger, but remember I must allow the other women turns if I am going to be successful on this show. Now I'm not so worried about Harry keeping me here as the producers. I know the decision is really up to them. If I'm not a crowd favourite anymore they'll have to be rid of me sometime, and it will be sooner rather than later.

I graciously part from Harry with a lingering kiss to the cheek and a playful ruffle of his hair. I see him display a dopey smile as Amber takes my place upon the couch and I wander out of the small room and back into the hallway.

Instead of going to rejoin the other women, I decide it may be more interesting to find out what this house has to offer. I leisurely stroll into the maze that seems to be this house. I take a right and see a large door. Upon closer inspection I find that it contains a beautifully decorated office.

My next ventures include a larger bedroom, a small kitchenette, and a bathroom. 10 minutes pass as I'm left to my own devices. Upon my decision to head back to the living room, I'm interrupted. It's Harry. Again.

Amber now absent, and no other girl by his side, his eyes light up as he see's me wandering back the way I came. He seems almost childishly delighted by my presence, and in an uncharacteristic move races towards me and picks me up slightly, engulfing me in a hug. I laugh, very aware of all the camera's surrounding us. Tonight, it's like Harry doesn't know they exist. Or he at least he doesn't care.

"Hello again." I try to greet Harry, but before I'm able to get another sentence out he's pushed me up against the wall of the hallway and has pressed his lips to mine. His arms wrap around my back to pull me close and I can't say I'm not surprised.

What the hell is he doing? Any girl could walk in on us right now! 3 camera's are filming this act of passion at the same time! And yet I find I don't mind one bit. My hands explore Harry's firm chest and back, until finally he pulls away.

"Nice to see you, too." I finish the sentiment I'd intended to carry out before Harry pounced. He giggles ecstatically.

"You're pretty funny, you know that?" Harry accuses, and I laugh again. How much has he had to drink? I look down and see his glass is now completely empty. Just 15 minutes ago it had been half full. What is prompting him to act this way? God knows I can't ask now, but I'm intrigued...

"Yeah, comedian in the making, obviously." I respond dryly, and I find that Harry does not seem to want to move back down the hall to the living room. He is usually the one facilitating our meetings and making the correct decisions, but now I find I'm burdened with making them for him.

Gently, I grab his hand and step out of his embrace. I tug him slightly and he willingly follows. I seriously wonder if he's sober enough to realize we can't spend all our time together tonight. I guess I'll have to make the tough decision to leave this time.

"Harry, time to talk to some other girls." I whisper, standing up on my tip toes to reach his ear. Harry displays a childish frown at my comment, but reluctantly nods his head and releases my fingers. I see him turn and start to move in to deliver another kiss, but I capture his face in my hands before he is able to.

We are now standing in full view of all 10 other women. I do not need them seeing anything displays of affection, especially not Astrid.

"Go on, now." I prod Harry along like a child. I see him huff in disappointment, but as soon as he's turned to face the other women he's standing straight and charismatic as usual. Once Harry is out of the room and a safe distance from me, I resume my seat on the couch.

I can see a couple women eyeing me from across the room, no doubt wondering about why I was absent for so long, but I don't care, not really. That is until I spot Astrid. She's shooting the nastiest glare I've ever encountered from across the room.

Leaned back against a blue sofa, her arms are crossed and her lips tight. Her brows and eyes bore into me hatefully, and I have to turn away to stop from sweating. Oh god. I knew it wouldn't be good to interact with Harry in front of her, but I've hardly had a say in the matter. This fact probably makes her opinion of me worse, not better.

What should I do? Continue to interact with Harry and risk upsetting Astrid to the point of no return? I'm sure if I piss her off enough she'll snitch, and I definitely don't want that just yet, but I can't really be sure she will until she comes outright and says so. Besides, is it really worth it to give away my limited time with Harry for fear of something that could maybe, possibly happen? I don't think so.

Until I'm certain, I'll be cautious, but I won't stray from Harry. He's the only reason I'm on this damn show. I don't need to start avoiding him now.

I turn my whole body away, shifting to face Perrie and strike up a conversation.

Only half an hour has passed before Harry is back and as tipsy as ever. I can tell all the women think it's cute that his wits have been slightly dampened by alcohol. Maybe they find him less intimidating, but I'm only worried. I don't know if he has the common sense to restrain himself right now.

Maybe I'm being a little cocky, but without the sense of sobriety to keep him straight, he may pay me a little too much attention than needed. Of course I appreciate it, but the other women don't, especially not Astrid. This is why I cringe as Harry makes his way over slowly and sandwiches himself in-between myself and Perrie, forcing Kiana off the end of the couch. He is not being subtle in his intentions.

Maybe he wants to sit beside Perrie I think to myself.

Bullshit. That thought is confirmed to be bullshit as Harry's hand snakes discreetly along my leg and begins to fiddle with the thin hem of my short dress. I take in a deep breath, thankful for the discussion the women now entertain with Harry. I choose not to speak, scared to draw attention to myself, but find it's no use.

I survey the room and find Astrid's glare burning with 100 times more intensity now. In fact, her look almost makes me sick, but not quite. I know for sure I won't last long under her threatening gaze, but can't see a way out for myself. I must remain complacently until Harry makes the decision to move. This, thankfully, comes sooner than expected.

Instead of turning to Perrie on his left, who has not had any private time with him tonight, Harry grabs my hand and pulls me up once again.

"Care to follow me?" He proposes. All the other women look on in shock, but I have no choice but to agree amiably and follow Harry away for the second time tonight. I just know that Astrid is shooting daggers at me now, but I can't very well turn down The Bachelor in front of all these cameras.

He guides me down the opposite hallway and I find we come upon a sort of sitting room. It looks to be a smaller version of the space we just occupied. Harry pulls me down clumsily onto a love seat and throws his arm around me. I realize how overly affectionate Harry becomes when he is drunk. I cant remember a time when I ever saw him properly intoxicated. Back in his LA hotel room we drank, sure, but we were never drunk- We were barely tipsy. In France at the club I'm sure the stresses of the night prevented Harry from having any fun. Now, though, there seems to be nothing holding him back. It's interesting to observe, but I'm not sure that this is exactly the right setting.

"Sorry, couldn't resist." Harry apologizes in advance. He can probably tell I'm a bit stressed- this is uncommon for him, and for all Bachelors to do. He shouldn't be showing favouritism. I know I should stop him, but I don't want to. I want to spend time with him, too, dammit. He's the one that's supposed to be being responsible, not me.

"No apology necessary." I retort. Harry knows I'm lying. The camera's don't. An amused expression invades Harry's features, and shortly after I don't miss the way his eyes drag longingly down my figure. Now is not the time.

"How is your night going?" I make artificial conversation. Harry will not stay satiated for long. I want to please him, I really do, but I'm not in the mood for making a porno. There are no blankets or tablecloths to cover us this time.

"Very good, actually. I'm enjoying myself more than usual." Harry responds evenly.

"Oh, really? How come?" I inquire, attempting to distract him and remove his lingering gaze from my chest. Of course I don't mind- I can see the pure lust in Harry's eyes- but the viewers of America do, as well as the other women.

"Oh, you know. We're in Italy... what do they say? 'When in Rome'?" Harry questions. I giggle, captivated by Harry's loss of inhibition. He seems to be truly enjoying himself. I've only caught glimpses of this side of Harry once or twice before. I remember in Paris at the beginning of our one-on-one date Harry seemed to be genuinely happy. Then again, just last night as we talked. This is the third time he has let him true self shine through, and I can confidently say I love to see it.

"Um, yeah, sure..." I humour him, although his words don't make sense. After only 5 minutes there's a knock on the door of the room. Now Jade stands before us.

"Hi..." She trails off, and I see her eyes quickly examine the scene. For all intents and purposes, Harry and I appear to be talking normally. I wonder if she can also gage the difference in him tonight. I'm sure most can.

I decide it will do me no good to deny her time, and rise once again to leave Harry behind. He stands with me this time and pulls me in for a hug. Instead of releasing me, though, he holds me for a second longer the necessary and whispers:

"Wait for me. Room across the hall." He demands. I sense authority in his voice that I haven't heard for quite some time, and have no choice but to obey. I slip out of the room discretely and enter the space Harry designated. It's another bedroom.

I take a seat on a plush chair in front of the king sized bed and bide my time. I have nothing much to think about, and after a good 15 minutes have passed the doorknob is finally rustling and I see Harry creep in. He seems to be keeping quiet as he turns and very carefully nudges the lock into place. No cameras follow him.

I stand to greet him but before I can get in a single word Harry has swooped forward and placed his lips to mine for the second time tonight. Yet again, I have no warning, but this time I don't mind one bit. There are no camera's and no girls about to walk in, and I finally feel secure in our actions.

I feel Harry's hand reach around to my back and switch off my mic. He does the same to his own and then he's grabbed the backs of my thighs and picked me up.

My legs wrap around his waist as best they can in the dress I'm wearing, and Harry surely, albeit shakily, walks over to the end of the bed and throws me down upon it. I'm left lying on my back, the wind knocked out of me, and soon Harry has trapped my own body under his own.

His hands come forward and capture my wrists, before moving my arms up away from my head so that they're of no use. He's holding me in place, and I love it.

He lets one large hand contain both of mine while the other greedily gropes at my breasts and slips under the thin material of my dress. I try to keep myself quiet as Harry's fingers begin to push against me over my underwear, and find he has no intention of taking things further. At least he is wise enough to make this decision. I can't be gone for too long.

However, I can't let Harry have all the fun. Since my hands are useless, I wrap my legs around his waist and use the leverage to push and grind my hips against his own. A bulge forms almost immediately, and as I continue my teasing Harry's breaths grow shallower. If Harry's going to behave in such an obscene way, I might as well include a little punishment for him.

He lets out a soft groan as my hips move against him and his kisses become sloppy. I sense that it's already been too long, and I pull my lips away from his reluctantly. I don't want to, but I have to go. I'm not even sure how he's got us time away from the cameras- I haven't seen Luke yet tonight.

Now my head lies against the bed and Harry's hovers over mine. We don't kiss, just look at each other, and a wide smile invades my face. A blush spreads across my cheeks, and my whole body begins to feel hot as Harry's eyes bore into mine. In his current state, he does not seem to be afraid of pushing boundaries or keeping himself from doing the things he really wants to. So, he just looks at me, seeming to examine every little aspect of my appearance. I giggle.

"Why're 'ya laughin'?" Harry's accent becomes more prominent as his words begin to slur together.

"I don't know." I admit honestly. I'm not sure exactly, but I can infer it has something to do with an emotion called happiness. Harry furrows his eyebrows in concentration as if he's trying to figure something out, but eventually his expression evens back out.

"Harry, we need to go." I assert. I really, really don't want to, but I must now. Harry sighs, and instead of rolling off me he only lets himself down, so that he lays with his entire weight on top of me, crushing me and holding me in place at the same time.

"I don't wanna!" He moans like a child while I struggle for air.

"Harry! I can't breathe!" i exclaim through chuckles, and i feel the reverberations of Harry's own laughter through my chest. Eventually, he rises, and I follow suit, pulling my dress down and running my fingers through my hair.

Harry reaches around to switch my mic back on, and I do the same. He delivers one last parting kiss before he's out of the room and back down the hallway. I'm left standing stock-still, wondering what the hell has gotten into him. It's like he's completely forgotten he's on a TV show right now and there are 10 other women out there ready to wait on him hand and foot.

I allow a minute to compose myself before exiting the bedroom. I venture down the hallway cautiously, afraid of running into Harry again, but am relieved to find he is nowhere to be seen. I cannot take anymore of his time away from the other women.

As I return I know I'm on thin ice judging by the stares the other women shoot me, and I'm not sure what to do. It'll be no use trying to reason with them now. The best thing to do might be to shut up and sit quietly. They definitely do not want to hear me speak right now, so I won't.

I force myself to check, and confirm for the third time, If Astrid is still glaring horribly at me. She is. The hatred conveyed through her eyes is somehow even stronger, and this time I almost get physically sick. Well, I've definitely managed to set her off now.

I last a total of an hour under her menacing watch, but I can no longer take it. My insides seem to be swimming in my throat and all my blood has sunk from my brain down through the rest of my body to my toes, leaving me lightheaded. I can't take the apprehension I feel at such a stare. I slowly, but purposefully, get up and head for the bathroom I discovered upon my initial exploration of the house.

Down one hallway and to the right I locate the door I'm searching for. However, before I enter, I hear two voices coming from the adjacent room. I know I shouldn't eavesdrop for fear of being caught, but I know it's two producers. I can almost recognize their voices- maybe Emily and... Steven? Brent? I can't exactly tell, but that doesn't stop me from pressing my ear to the door and straining to listen.

"-No, there's been a change of plans." a woman speaks strictly.

"What do you mean? What kind of change?" The man present asks.

"He wants to cut the cocktail party short. He said to start the rose ceremony immediately." The women tells him, and now I know that they're talking about Harry. They must be.

"What? There's supposed to be another hour and a half until the ceremony starts! We need more footage!" The man cries in protest. The woman sighs.

"Yeah, I know. I'll figure something out. But there's something else..." she trails off.

"What?" The man asks apprehensively, hesitant, I'm sure, to receive more bad news.

"He wants to get rid of more than one girl." The woman states. The man sighs in frustration.

"Two women! The show will run a week shorter!" The man bellows, there's a momentary pause, and then a grievous groan.

"Three!? Are you kidding me?" The man exclaims. I don't hear what occurs after that, and back away from the door for fear of being caught. I enter the bathroom quietly and begin to think.

The two producers were surely discussing Harry. From what I understand he's cutting the cocktail party short and eliminating three girls in one go. I can't imagine how, or why, Harry has even made this decision, and wonder if it's even possible for him to do so. Surely, as the man in the adjacent room stated, the show will be cut short if Harry begins to decrease the number of contestants at such an alarming rate. I will not know the producers final decision until I reenter the living room, however, so I do so quickly.

I find, as expected, that once everyone is present Chris Harrison comes out and makes the announcement:

"Ladies, sorry to interrupt, but our Bachelor has decided to cut things a little short. The rose ceremony will be happening right now." He declares. All the other women gasp in disbelief. I try to follow suit- of course- I'm not supposed to know this information.

We're lead into the room designated for the rose ceremony, and I find that no risers reside within this time. There are only 11 of us, so we only stand side by side in a line. I survey the table which contains the roses, and count only 6 present. With the addition of the group date and one-on-one rose already distributed this week, there will only be a total of 8 of us left by the time this ceremony is over. The other girls notice this, too.

"What's going on?" I hear someone whisper from the end of the line, but her explanation is cut short when Chris Harrison enters once again.

"Ladies, I'm sure you've noticed something's a little... off. There are only 6 roses being handed out tonight. There will be 3 of you going home." He announces, and allows for a pause so the information can fully sink in. There are monstrous cries of protest, but Chris leaves before anyone can confront him.

I notice how he did not state that it was Harry's decision to impose this change of rules. The viewers of America can't deem him too harsh, it seems.

Now, with the news, the air of the room has completely changed. The women are more on edge than ever. I could cut the tension with a knife.

Luckily, in a few seconds, Harry has finally entered. He issues us a small greeting, but wastes no time in plucking the first rose from it's resting place and beginning the ceremony.

"Charlotte." My name is called straight away. My cheeks flush in embarrassment, but I have no choice but to move forward swiftly and accept my token.

"Charlotte, will you accept this rose?" Harry questions.

"Of course." I answer. Harry pulls me in for a quick hug, but thankfully does not linger for more than 1 or 2 seconds. I avoid the other girls gazes as I return to my spot in the line.

5 more names are called. Ashley, Karen, and Danielle are eliminated without a second thought. Harry stands purposefully at the front of the room as the rest of us advance around him and raise a glass to celebrate.

I'm in shock. How could Harry pull off such a feat, and why would he want to in the first place? I can't help but answer my own question as I catch him staring at me intently from across the room...

***

Let me know what you think!

L