a/n: new phone who dis

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Turns out, Jeongguk and I are worse at arts and crafts than the boys.

Not to anyone's surprise really, because Jeongguk seemed to think the canvas for paint was my face, and I seemed to think that my fist belonged in his gut. Which it does, I think darkly to myself as I scrub away at the paint streaks on my cheeks. A residue of the colours is left in the water's wake, marring my face with faint streaks of once-there paint.

Jeongguk had snuck away to his room for a while after receiving a notification, claiming he had work to do, and while the boys napped on the couch, I took some much needed me time. A hot shower, water by the gallon and some McDonalds I had managed to sneak in for myself had soothed some of my hangover, but the remaining remnants still had me on my guard, ready to sprint to the bathroom at a moment's notice.

I spent the rest of the morning feeling rather content. Of course I could pinpoint the reason, but it was still shocking to me to realize the physical toll Jeongguk and I's relationship had on my body. While it wasn't anywhere near it once was, the weight of something invisible I hadn't noticed had been lifted off my shoulders, making me feel lighter than I have in years.

Netflix and books were my companion into the early afternoon, but after a while I started to feel restless. With all that had happened in the span of twenty four hours, I felt the need to burn off some energy. And with our newfound friendship — or whatever it is that we're calling it — I decided to act upon it and call on Jeongguk. Though I wanted to in the first place (which was a strange and unfamiliar feeling) I also felt the urge to be the first to reach out, notably because of how hard I didn't realize he'd been trying to fix us in the first place.

And I'd been an A-class phlemwad to him.

My ego was not very entertained by this fact.

Jeongguk answered on the second knock.

"So," I started, rocking back on my heels and clutching the disk I held behind my back. "I have a dire need to beat you in something to, you know, cement the fact that I'll always be better than you, and I was thinking... Mario Kart?" I offered a small smile, holding up the game. "I mean, that is if you're down for a world of pain. I am quite the driver."

Jeongguk leaned against the door frame, huffing a mock sigh. "I don't know," he mused, eyes alight. "I quite value my life. Also, you quite literally nearly drove us into the fountain the other day ."

"Never mind that. I'll go easy on you."

"No you won't," Jeongguk grinned, snatching the game out of my hand. "So, you gonna buy me a drink before you screw me?"

"No time for pleasantries. Peach awaits her princess."

Jeongguk's scoff doesn't go unnoticed as I strut past him and make my way to the living room, the ravenette dutifully following. With the boys playing in the kitchen, we have the massive living room and flat screen to ourselves.

We sit side by side on the couch, waiting as the game loads. My leg taps restlessly on the floor, my bottled energy peaking at an all time high. Maybe it's because we're doing an activity that warrants playful banter. One that doesn't negate the fact that our newfound 'whatever' is still in it's new, raw and rocky phase, but also allows us a sense of familiarity, not akin to using words as a weapon for emotional pain. Things won't go back to the way things were in a day, but maybe this is a start.

Or maybe I just want him to see my name at the top of the scoreboard and his in dead last.

Definitely the latter.

"You ready, Taehee?" Jeongguk shoots me a teasing glance. "There's still time to back out now. No one would blame you for sacking up and realizing that you'll never beat me. Self reflection is a strength you know."

"Over my dead body. Now shut up and play the game."

The race finally starts.

And all hell breaks loose.

A colourful stream of curses spits past Jeongguk's lips as, much to his absolute horror, the second blue shell in a matter of seconds annihilates King Boo; an explosion of navy so big and so near the edge of the mountainside that the ghost is helplessly pitched over the chasm and into a pit of black.

Which finally allows for Princess Peach to take first place.

"Ha-ha!" Eyes never straying from the race track lighting the wall of screen, I shove my hand in Jeongguk's face and flip him the bird. "Suck my ass, fuckwit!"

"Well that's not remotely tempting," he sneers from beside me on the couch, snatching my wrist and twisting it behind my back. "But as much as I love ghonoria —motherfucker!"

The green shell I'd shot behind from Peach hits King Boo just as the ghost was dropped back onto the track, spinning Jeongguk's character out of control once more and loosing him seven places in the race.

"Karma," I hiss with a wicked smile, struggling to break free of Jeongguk's iron grip. "Maybe if you played half as well as you talk shit you might actually have a shot at winning."

He twists my arm higher. "Eat dust, Kim."

"I will when I overlap your sorry ass, Jeon."

Oh, he did not like my tone. Before I can even register what's happening, Jeongguk releases his hold on me and snatches my controller instead, moving out of reach before I can grab it back.

Son of a —

"Tweet!" I shriek, imitating the sound of a ref's whistle as I scramble over cushions after his cackling form and the now endangered hostage. "Foul play! Automatic disqualification!"

I then proceed to tackle him down onto the couch in a definite act of foul play.

Falling on his back in a fit of laughter, I land between his legs, my hands braced against the smooth, solid planes of his chest. I don't have time to fully take in the reality of the situation as Jeongguk, grinning beneath me, suddenly snaps thighs shut around my waist, hard strips of muscle keeping me stuck in place. Stretching his arms far out of my reach, he continues to man both controllers, keeping his own steady while sending mine this way and that, no doubt screwing with my lead in the race.

"I will end you," I snarl, one hand prying at his legs while the other desperately flails for my controller. "You and your pathetic excuse for a marshmallow."

"Is something wrong with Peach, Taehee?" Jeongguk cooes innocently. My wild swipe for his arm only earns me a teasing tisk and he jerks my controller to the left, sending Peach spinning. "You do know the car's supposed to go forwards, right? And not spin around in circles?"

Just as I'm about to rock his shit, a soft, purposeful cough snags our attention. With Jeongguk momentarily distracted, I snatch my controller back and wrench myself out of his grip before peering over the couch to find the source of the intrusion.

The three boys stand in the doorway, Chul and Sejun seeming to cower behind a weary Iseul. I catch Sejun give Iseul a hesitant push towards us before noticing that Jeongguk is still fixated on the screen, King Boo now sliding into fourth place.

Scowling, I hastily start my engine again, not bothering to check which direction Peach zooms in.

"Hey guys," Iseul hedges. From the corner of my eye I watch as the usually confident boy scratches the nape of his neck, looking anything but. "Uh, do you think we could maybe have a turn with the—"

"Not now!" Jeongguk and I snap at the same time.

We freeze, both registering the harsh bite to our words. No wonder the boys looked like they were entering into a monster's den.

"Sorry," Jeongguk says, sparing them a sheepish glance. "We didn't mean to—"

"In a second," I quickly supply, flashing an apologetic smile. My gaze, however, doesn't leave the screen. "Just as soon as I make your brother eat his words."

Jeongguk nudges my shoulder, his smirk back on full display. "Didn't know backwards was the new forwards."

"Shut it, five. The ten is still winning by a landslide."

Deeming it somewhat safe, the boys clamber onto the couch with us, Sejun worming his way onto my lap. I'm glad for the audience though as I quickly right my direction, zoom through the rest of the course and emerge in first place — a hair before Jeongguk.

"Take that!" I yell, slamming the controller to the ground and jolting Sejun, who shoots me a dark look.

Jeongguk scowls as I shoot him a victorious grin. "Sheer dumb luck is what that was."

"Tell that to your second place, King Boo-hoo. Gosh, I almost forgot what the Zone feels like."

"Remember that feeling, because—"

Jeongguk's and I's phones buzz at the same time, halting the rhythm of our banter. I peer down at my screen, noting the new message from the school's online grade system notifying me of an updated grade. A couple clicks shows me that on our last unit test, Mr. Bang gave me a 90.99%, which is unnecessarily petty but still a win in my books.

"Hey," I start, showing my phone screen to Jeongguk. "Did you see that—"

"Yep," he cuts out, tone wickedly sharp. His jaw ticks as he types on his screen before promptly jerking to his feet. "There's more controllers in the cabinets if you want to continue playing."

While the boys cheer and race to the cabinets, I peer up at Jeongguk, watching as he pulls at his hair before moving to step out of the room. The strong cords of muscles in his back are tight as a bow, looking like they'll snap.

"One round and you're already quitting?" I call after him, trying to make light of the situation. Something obviously bothered him just now, sending his sunshine mood straight to the pits of hell, and a chord of compassion strikes in my chest. "Sounds like someone just can't take the heat."

"Yeah, sure," he mutters absentmindedly, waving me off. "I'll, uh, I'll see you all later, okay? I just need to..."

Sentence unfinished, he stalks out of the room, a hulking mass of tangible emotion swirling like a storm cloud around him.

As I watch him go, knowing he needs his space to sort out whatever just happened, I can't help but feel my heart tug towards his retreating form. I also know that while I once was the person he needed, I'm not anymore, and so I shake off the feeling and try to focus on the game.

But my mind is with the boy of storms and his unknown burden.

◦ ◦ ◦

It's well past two in the morning when Jeongguk shows, padding into the kitchen and nearly causing me to drop the glass of water I'd been filling at the shock of seeing him.

Seeing him, and seeing him.

He looks like hell. The dark circles are even more prominent under his eyes, and the creases between his eyebrows tells me he's been more than upset about something. The soft glow of the stove light illuminates the hard lines of his face, drawn so tightly that he looks almost skeletal.

"You're up," I state matter of factly, taking in his disheveled form and noting the tense line of his lips. "Can't sleep?"

He runs his hand through his hair. "No, I just..." he scans the kitchen, eyes narrowing. "Did you not do the dishes?"

I blink, scanning the countertops. I'd stacked the dirty plates and dishes from the dinner I'd made for myself and boys off to the side. The dishwasher was full and with Jeongguk tucked away in his room, it was a hassle to manage all three boys on my own. I'd cleaned up as best I could and left them to deal with in the morning.

"No, actually, but I was going to do them tomo—"

"So you think it's okay to just leave the house in a shit hole?" He laughs, but it's an empty, cold sound. My brows furrow in confusion at the outburst. He stalks towards me, lips pulled up in a sneer, and he looks absolutely livid. "You're a guest, Taehee. Have the basic decency to act like one."

His words are like a slap to the face, causing me to stumble back. He stands before me now, anger rolling off him in waves, so powerful they threaten to pull me under.

"Christ, Jeongguk," I breathe, scanning his face and taking in the sheer, undiluted anger present. "I'm sorry, okay? I'll do them in the morning—"

The ravenette scoffs, eyes of coal boring into my own, igniting the familiar hot, stifling rage I'm so used to feeling around him. My hands ball into fist as he peers down at me, a look akin to disgust screwing his features. I feel small, but the white hot anger born of confusion and repressed emotions continues to grow.

"Sure you will," he bites out, teeth flashing. "That's what you said the last time and guess who had to clean up your shit. I'm sick and tired of you and your bullshit excuses. When you say you're going to do something then do it. It's not that fucking hard to have basic common curtesy and clean up after yourself."

Acid burns my tongue. I square my shoulders and refuse to back down. Not as he corners me against the counter, his heaving chest brushing my own. I glare up at him, the familiarity of situations like this one all too welcomed and all too tempting to engage.

"I don't know what has gotten into you but you need to stop it right now."

"Or what?" he gloats, cocking his head. "You'll go back to ignoring me? Please, by all means, see if I care."

The buildup of hot emotions lashes through me, burning my insides like a branding iron.

"You know what? This isn't about the dishes. This is about you and your inability to direct your emotions at the right person. You're a coward who goes for the easy target because you can't stand the fact that the person or thing or whatever the fuck you're really mad at doesn't give a shit. You're clearly going through something that has nothing to do with the goddamn state of the kitchen, so either you spit it out right now or you can bet your ass that there is no way in hell I would ever consider sparing an ounce of my attention on you again."

As my words hang in the air, I can't help but feel like a hypocrite.

A very angry one at that, but nonetheless a hypocrite.

Shame only fuels the fire burning in me.

He's so close that I can feel the hammering of his heart, the caress of his breath, the tickle of black hair against my brow. His eyes bore into mine, a hurricane of pain and rage brewing in the depths of his irises.

His gaze flickers across my face before landing on my lips, and I'm too wound up, too wired to notice the heat in my gut shifting to something warmer, more wrong and forbidden and so, so good.

His knuckles blanch as he grips the countertop on either side of my frame, muscles bulging under the sheer strength in which he grips the marble, almost as if to restrain himself as he devours my lips with his dark, heady eyes, looking as if he'd do damn near anything to claim them with his own.

And between the confusion and hurt and rage I feel, my gaze flicks down to his own, wanting to taste them, wanting him to taste me, wanting him to claim a blazing path down my neck, chest, torso, abdomen until he reaches the part that's aching, aching with so much desire and forbidden pleasure and anger and greed and want and—

Jeongguk blinks. Once, twice, and then jerks away, something like a hiss pushing through his teeth.

And I'm left there reeling: confused, angry, humiliated, ashamed and downright horrified at the wetness I feel between my thighs.

Jeongguk curses, dragging a hand down his face as he turns to stare at me, emotions flickering across his face like a shutter camera.

He opens his mouth, shuts it, and then opens it once more.

Nothing comes out, and the silence is so loud my ears start to ring.

We stare at each other, and yet all that can come out of his mouth is, "I..."

I cut him off.

"Eat shit, Jeon," I hiss, frustrated tears welling in my eyes. "I wish you nothing but sweet heavenly nightmares. Also, go fuck yourself."

I storm past him, dodging his attempt to grab my arm. A few tears streak down my face and I swipe at them, furious he could raise such a reaction from me when hours ago we were doing so well. As well as two people could be, given our situation, but well enough that I had started to have hope.

Hope.

I should never have opened Pandora's box.

He's taller than me though, and catches up quicker than I can walk, grabbing my wrist in his hand and spinning me around.

"Taehee."

I struggle in his grasp. "If you don't let go this instant I swear to god—"

"Please, Taehee, please listen—"

"Save it for someone who cares," I bite out, glaring up at him. "Unless you have some explanation for whatever the fuck that was back there, I couldn't give less of a —"

"I have a sister."

I stop resisting. The blood drains from my face.

All I can do is stare at him.

"...You have a sister?"

Jeongguk swallows, his adam's apple bobbing. "She was born a couple days ago. Seven and a half pounds. Apparently my dad also has a new wife, and also has a business trip coming up. To Hawaii. Where his company doesn't do business."

My stomach bottoms out.

"He's looking for a babysitter while his new wife recovers from the surgery she just had. There were complications with her birth."

Jeongguk looks away, blinking furiously. The muscles in his jaw tense and flex as he works to get the words out.

"You're right, you know," he finally says, voice barely above a whisper. "I can't face him, and I took it out on you. And I'm so, so sorry for that. That is the last thing you deserve, and the last thing I ever wanted to do to you."

My shame increases tenfold. It suffocates me to the point where I can't breathe.

"And with my biology mark threatening my spot on the football team and my chance at getting into university I... I snapped. And you were there. And like a coward I took it out on you because I couldn't bear to face the fact that he's going to do the same shit he did to my mom with another woman again and again, and I'm going to continue to clean up the mess and be the screw-up he always told me I'd be."

My heart nearly splits in two.

God, had I always been so self-absorbed and selfish?

How could I have not even bothered to ask him what was going on?

I had never really thought to understand what he had been going through. His dad was a serial cheater, this much I know, and I rarely saw him during my childhood, which I had once thought bizarre because the two of us were inseparable so it should've been natural that I'd see his dad. I know the divorce had been tough on him, but I never really stopped to think about how much responsibility was put on Jeongguk. As the oldest son, he had to remain strong for Iseul, who at the time and still doesn't fully understand why his dad is never there. With Mrs. Jeon being high up in the rankings of her company, I can't imagine how much of the parenting Jeongguk must have had to do for his younger brother.

And with the future of his education and passion on the line, plus the ghost of his father's stinging words still lingering years later, he must be absolutely shattering under the pressure. Add on the fact that I'd been making his life all the more miserable punched the air from my lungs.

So I did the only thing I could think to do.

I hugged him.

He was stiff at first, but as my arms wound their way around his torso and smoothed soothing strokes down his back he folded into me, clutching me like a lifeline.

We stayed like that for a while, until his breathing slowed and I felt his muscles relax.

"Taehee, I'm so sorry—"

"You don't need to apologize," I whispered, tightening my grip on him.  "I understand, and I'm here for you. Whatever and whenever you need. I'm here for you."

I'm sorry, is what I didn't have the heart to tell him. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you before.

But I will be now.

Because I should have been.

Later that night, I called
my mom. She answered on the third ring, groggy from the early hour I'd rang her.

"Hey mom? Yeah, hi it's me. Listen, I need a favour..."

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heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeweeeeeeeeeeey

so i reread TBC after a year or two of not paying it any attention and the ending of last chapter was the roadblock that hit me like a truck at the time. howEVER i got so inspired today that i wrote this all tn (it's currently 2:30 am for me) and already have so many plans for the next chapters... so i guess u could say that sunny is back?? potentially?? but probably??? and TBC is no longer discontinued??? maybe??????

and while moon is still my best friend irl she did not edit this and neither did i so apologies for any errors <3 pls kindly point them out if u spot any (:

i saw all of your messages and they warmed my heart. thank u for sticking with me and thank you for your endless love and support

i appreciate u all <3

hugs and kisses,
sunny ☼