I opened my mouth to speak, but words refused to escape me. The butterflies in my stomach seemed to have robbed me of coherent thoughts, let alone a sensible response. No matter how far into the depths of my brain I searched, I was undeniably lacking on the actual answer front.

            What was I supposed to say? I mean, it’d made sense in my head at the time, but that had been under the pressure of Darcy’s expectant expression. Now I wasn’t so sure. Why couldn’t I have come up with something simpler? Saying Andrew was interested in someone else, for instance. But no. I had to open my big mouth and suddenly, I was dating my best friend.

            Whom I’d just kissed.

            “Avery?” Andrew said, and it was then that I realized I had yet to give him an answer.

            A feat which would’ve been considerably easier if my legs weren’t still the consistency of Jell-O and my head wasn’t swimming.

            I swallowed, trying to relieve my dry throat. For the first time since I could remember, I found myself at a loss for words in front of Andrew. But what could I say? How on earth was I supposed to admit the only reason I told Darcy we were dating was to stop her going after him?

            That type of thing just didn’t translate well into explanation, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to try.

            “She was trying to set me and Austin up!” I blurted out. The words rolled off my tongue before I had a chance to assess their suitability.

            “What?” Andrew’s brow creased into what could only be described as a confused look.

            “She wanted a partner switch,” I said. My brain was questioning vehemently what my mouth was doing, but I continued anyway, using my best friend’s bemusement only as motivation to carry on talking. “Apparently he has some kind of crush on me and she thought the best way to set us up was by switching partners but obviously I’m not into him like that and I was put on the spot and the only way I could think of to refuse was to pretend we were dating and-”

            “Avery.”

            “- I mean obviously we’re not really dating but you know how Darcy is, she won’t take no for an answer and so-”

            “Avery.”

            “- I just said it without thinking and I know you didn’t know anything about it but-”

            Suddenly, my words turned into muffled mumbling. Blinking, I realized Andrew’s hand was clamped across my mouth, preventing any further rambling. After a couple of seconds it was removed, and I tried not to dwell on the curious tingles that had broken out where our skin made contact.

            “Breathe.”

            For a moment I blinked up at him, realizing I was in fact lacking oxygen, before inhaling exaggeratedly. “Right.”

            “Now what were you saying?” Andrew asked. “Darcy wanted to set you up with Austin?”

            As my words caught up with me, I couldn’t help but cringe inwardly. Somehow I’d spun him the most unlikely story I could’ve come up with. Austin – the ultimate jock, who I was surprised didn’t have an official fan club – having a crush on me? I doubted he was even aware of my existence; against other girls, I was about as interesting as wallpaper. I was lucky to get noticed by the teachers, let alone the football team’s most valued player. Frankly, Andrew would have to be an idiot to believe a word of it.

            “Um… yeah?”

            “Oh.” He shifted on his feet, looking down at me with curiously wide eyes. “And you’re, um… you’re not interested?”

            “No.”

            An expression of what I thought was relief crossed his face; I wondered whether I was imagining how his whole body seemed to relax. “Listen, um…”

            “Yeah?”

            “About that k–”

            Before he could finish his sentence – of which I was pretty sure of the ending – his voice was drowned out by a familiar wailing. My eyes dropped automatically to the carrier in his arms, and it was then that I sensed the opportunity.

            “It needs changing,” I said quickly, preventing Andrew from going any further. “I’ll do it.”

            I reached out for the handle, but his own grip didn’t loosen. I could tell he was looking at me, trying to meet my gaze, but I refused to let my eyes wander upwards; instead, I stared intently at our grazing hands. “It’s fine, I can do it,” he said.

            “No, seriously.” I tugged on it a little harder until his fingers uncurled from the plastic. “I’ll do it in the girls’ bathroom. You go to homeroom.”

            He looked at me for a second, his eyes scrutinizing. I ducked my head further, suddenly becoming fascinated by the sight of the baby strapped into the padded seat. I wasn’t sure exactly why, but the thought of making eye contact with him was suddenly terrifying. A moment’s pause later, he nodded. “Okay. I’ll let Mr. Moore know where you are.”

            I mumbled an affirmative response before scooting around him. I could feel my heart beating loudly in my chest, and once I had navigated my way through the hall and arrived in the empty bathroom, letting the door swing shut behind me, it only became more noticeable. I half-expected someone to burst in at any moment, in search of the source of the noise.

            What was wrong with me? I leaned on the edge of the sink and stared at my reflection, exhaling loudly. My hair was ruffled from subconsciously running a hand through it, and my cheeks were sporting more than their fair share of color. It was as if I’d endured a long day – except for the fact it was barely eight a.m.

            Eight a.m. on the day I’d kissed Andrew.

            My knees seemed to weaken as the thought crossed my mind; I gripped the sink edge a little tighter and gazed blankly at the mirror. It was bizarre how my face could appear so devoid of emotion when inside my head, thoughts were buzzing so violently they felt like they were bouncing against my skull. I’d just kissed Andrew. No matter how many times I repeated it, the phrase was still as unbelievable as it had ever sounded.

            And then, of course, there was the whole other matter of how much I had enjoyed it.

            Were you supposed to feel this way about kissing someone you definitely didn’t have romantic feelings for? Because I was sure my feelings concerning Andrew were strictly best friend-like.

            I hoped.

            Finally snapping back to my senses and realizing the baby was still screaming below me, I heaved the carrier onto the counter and began unfastening the straps. Confusing Andrew-centered emotions aside, the one thing I did have to focus on was the delightful arrangement of plastic below me.

            The arrangement of plastic that might just have changed everything.

***

            “So is it true?”

            I looked up from my tray to be greeted by a circle of expectant expressions, all eyeing up myself and the guy beside me. We were seated in the middle of the cafeteria, on the end of a table of various other classmates – ones who usually paid us no more than a speck of attention. Andrew and I had never strictly belonged to any clique; instead, we’d taken to just drifting between them. Seating in the cafeteria usually meant perching on the end of wherever was free, but we were both too quiet to prompt anybody to complain.

            Today had brought us seats at one of the smaller tables, amongst a group I knew from a couple of classes. The main speaker, a curly haired girl – Georgie – who bore a striking resemblance to Taylor Swift, sat across from me. In her arms lay a doll of her own – not dissimilar to the one lying in its carrier on the seat next to Andrew – which she was rocking absent-mindedly in an attempt to stop it grizzling. The dark-haired guy beside her continued fumbling inside the bag, in search of a pacifier.

            “Is what true?”

            “Oh, come on,” she said, smiling. “You and Andrew. I heard you’re together.”

            “Oh, um...” My eyes darted to the guy beside me, who was wearing an expression I couldn’t quite work out. “Yeah. We are.”

            Her smile widened. “That’s so cute.”

            I managed a nod and a weak smile in her direction before turning my attention back to my food. Obviously, I’d known Darcy wasn’t exactly the best secret-keeper in the world, but I hadn’t expected news of mine and Andrew’s fictitious relationship to have spread that quickly. In the space of a few hours, it seemed to have reached everybody in our grade. The bizarre part was that, for the first time, people actually noticed us. Just walking through the hallway, we’d been subjected to more double-takes than I could count, and there was even the odd smile thrown in. It was certainly different to being stared straight through – that, I’d been used to. Blending into the background, it seemed, was no longer an option.

            But whether this was a blessing or curse, I hadn’t yet worked out.

            And then there was the fact I was completely clueless about Andrew’s feelings toward it all. His expressions and body language had turned practically cryptic over the course of the day, and where I had previously been able to catch the gist of his thoughts fairly easily, I was now at a loss.

            And for some reason, it had become about a million times harder to hold a conversation with him.

            Which might have had something to do with the fact every time I looked at his face, my eyes involuntarily trailed downward to his lips, and rendered my brain unable to think of anything other than how soft they had felt pressed against mine.

            “Hello?”

            Snapping out of my daydream as quickly as I had entered, I looked upwards to be faced with the expression of the guy that had been dominating my thoughts. The moment my eyes caught on his, I was struck by the overwhelming urge to look away. My cheeks threatened to redden as the image of the kiss was thrown back into my mind for the hundredth time that day, but I swallowed and, ignoring my instinct, held eye contact.

            “Are you listening?” Andrew asked, frowning slightly.

            “Um, yes?”

            “What did I just say, then?”

            “You said...” I racked my brains for the last snippet of conversation, but it seemed I’d been zoned out completely, unable to recall anything that had left his mouth in the past thirty seconds. “That you, um... wished you’d got the chili?”

            His flat look made the answer clear enough; his lips were pursed in a clear not amused way. I managed a sheepish smile, trying to lighten the situation, but Andrew looked at me with an intensity that only induced wariness on my part.

            “Avery,” he started. Although he lowered his voice, the rest of the table had resumed conversation and were no longer paying much attention to the two of us. “About what happened earlier… it’s not going to, you know… make things weird between us, is it?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “The–” he cleared his throat, “--the kiss.”

            I had known it was coming, but wasn’t enough to keep down the temperature of my cheeks. “Oh.” I swallowed. “That.”

            “Yeah.” He ran a hand through his hair, mussing up the wavy umber strands, some of which fell back over his forehead. “Listen, I just... I don’t know. I feel like something’s different. Whether it was what happened this morning or...”

            I stayed quiet, my heart beating a little more quickly than it should’ve.

            “It’s just... we’re not really dating, right? And I know everyone thinks we are, and maybe we’re going to have to hold hands or something for the next couple of weeks, but... I don’t want it to make things awkward or anything, you know?”

            “I know,” I said quietly. “Look, if you’re not comfortable with this whole thing, then we can just fake a break up. Like, right now. I don’t mind, I’ll just–”

            “No,” he interjected quickly, then seemed to regret it. “Um, I mean, I’m fine with it... as long as it doesn’t make things weird. I don’t want that.”

            “No, no, of course not. We can totally do this. It’s fine. We’re fine.”

            Relief washed over his face, relaxing his expression. “Okay.”

            I smiled at him, hoping I looked convincing.

Because, even though I was desperately reminding myself that Andrew was my best friend and absolutely nothing more, I couldn’t shake off the extremely weird urge to grab the front of his shirt and pull his lips to mine for a second round.

---------------------------------

Hello! Long time no chapter, right? Sorry, but A levels are hectic and I'm only four weeks in :( This isn't really my best work, but I'm under time pressure to finish this for the Wattys, and I want to lay this to rest before I start NaNoWriMo. Hope you liked it anyway!