A/N: I update this everytime I eat chicken and rice for lunch.

Adam named his wifwu Eve. Aziraphale thought it was a pretty name. Crawley was making eyes at the angel.

Dialated pupils.

Aziraphale was flipping a flaming, whirling sword. Doing funky little tricks to impress the demon. Eventually the demon had other things to tend to.

In this time Aziraphale gave his flaming sword away to Adam and Eve, because wow isn't he the brightest of them all. That whole situation led to a very nice conversation between Aziraphale and Crawley, right before the first rain. Oh yeah, the first rain. Aziraphale had his wing to cover Crawley with.

Then they went and cuddled because Aziraphale had no idea God was watching and just thought he could. He did very muchly enjoy the nice cuddle. They were dry and warm and out of the rain.

Aziraphale hated rain.

A very small but large enough time skip

Adam and Eve had these kids. One was named Cain and the other was named Abel. Crawley was an excellent baby sitter to them when they were children.

Abel was a shepherd, and Cain planted stuff. The farming industry was really booming.

Well anyways Cain ended up pissed because God wasn't exactly joyed by how his plants were.

At this time Crawley was curled up in his snake form outside of Cain's door. He was waiting in the nice sun. That's what happens when you're cold blooded.

After his little talk with God, Cain said to Abel, "Hey bro UwU let's go out to the field."

And Abel was like, "What do you have?"

Cain then screamed, "A knife!!!" and began to sprint.

Abel chased after him and WHOOPS Cain let his hand slip and he killed Abel.

A little while later God says to Cain, "Where is your brother?"

Cain looked up to the sky and said, "I dunno. Do I look like a baby sitter? Ask ginger over somewhere?"

God looked down on Cain and asked, "Why did you kill your brother? He's screaming from the ground. Are you trying to start the skeleton war or something?"

Then Cain complained about his punishment. To protect Cain from death God drew a little squiggle and said, "Here it says you won't die. Good luck wandering."

Cain then went to wherever Nod was.

A few years later Cain and his wife had a baby, named Irad. Yeah that was a whole thing. Around this time Crawley invented math. This was helpful a few years later.

Also Crowley invented this hellish instrument called a flute. Piccolos are more hellish, but those come later. Flutes are currently devils work and if you play this simple melody that goes:

E Eb E Eb C A E A C E
E Eb E Eb E F C E D
D Db D Db D B Ab E Ab B D
D Db D Db D E F E D B D C
A Ab A Ab A Bb E G F
F E F E F D B F Eb E Eb E C A
D Db D Db D B Ab A
------
E Db Gb Db E Db Gb E Db Gb Db E D D Gb D Ab D Gb D Ab Gb D Ab E A A
------
Bb A Bb A Bb Gb Eb Bb Eb Gb Bb
Bb A Bb A Bb B Gb Bb Ab
Ab G Ab G Ab F D Bb D F Ab
Ab G Ab G Ab Bb B Bb Ab F Ab Gb
Eb D Eb D Eb Bb G Eb G Bb Eb
Eb D Eb D Eb E Bb Db B
B Bb B Bb B Ab F Bb A Bb A Bb Gb Eb
Ab G Ab G Ab F D
Bb B Bb B Bb B Bb B Bb B Bb
Trill: B - Bb
Ab Gb F Eb

And you get this great theme song.

Crowley says yes.