I've lost complete track of time. The only thing I know is day and night, most of the others stay away from me, I sit at a table alone. All the meals taste bland. I miss the days of loving the meals, I miss the days of tasting sweet, juicy pride melons. All I know now is the tender taste of flesh.

I don't talk much anymore, nurses keep trying to give me Holy Water, I keep denying it. I feel my body rotting, slowly. I just want to disappear, I want to stop eating but the flavor is the only thing I can taste. Holy Water controls the craving, not the taste.

I wonder how Momma and QB are doing. I hope they're living happily. Ever since they left, it's all gone downhill. The guilt I felt for eating Fiah was too great to risk eating them on that tiny raft we made.

Val is coming tomorrow. I think the nurses alerted her about me, which is understandable. I'm possibly the worst case these nurses have ever had to deal with in the history of this Sanatorium.

I eat, and eat, and eat. My body trembles with lust for their blood, I am the big bad wolf and they're nothing but rabbits.

I usually sneak up on them, a patient, one that's probably new. I lurk in the darkness, they go try and find someone to bunk with, but they're stuck outside. Once she settles in the hallway, that's when I strike.

The adrenaline rush I get from hearing their screams as I rip them apart is disturbing, the tears and pleads for help always make me go faster into their bodies, my claws ripping them apart, their bones chipping and flying everywhere, their blood splatters like paint, or maybe even like tomatoes at a terrible performance.

Once the screaming stops, I feast. An audience watches behind bars as if I'm an animal at a zoo.

Maybe that's the only way to describe me now. A hungry animal.

...

I saw someone new today. Oddly enough, she was beautiful. She walked with elegance, her face was soft and her eyes sleepy, her hair flew behind her like clouds, expressive, beautiful. A sight for sore eyes, I'm ace but that girl. Magnificent.

Ria is her name, she had glasses and a side shave. Her hair was decorated with accessories and sweets.

I bet she tastes delicious. When she comes around, I can only think of how horrid it would feel to ruin her perfect body with my teeth, how disheartening it would sound to hear her screams, a disgusting bloody mess caused by me, maybe real tomatoes will be thrown at me.

She'd taste so satisfying, her soft skin being ripped off by my hands, and I would cry all the while. Variety, and pain. I've been craving it for so long, craving the feeling of dread and despair, enough to tip me over the edge, enough to destroy me to my core.

A sight for sore eyes, such beautiful blue eyes.

Ria was kind, she was sweet, she was nice. She was energetic, couldn't hurt a fly.

I've been getting to know her for a while. According to her, it's been 3 weeks.

I just want to feel pain, so much pain till I end it all in one big bang.

One where I feel ashamed of myself but my sins as well. Until then, I'm writing my will, my everything.

--------------------------

Everything has been set, she's locked out of the rooms, she's sitting in bed humming.

My wills, my letters, everything has been given to the nurses to be shipped off.

All I need to do now is kill Ria.

-------------------------

It's done.

I creeped out of the shadows and launched on her, beginning to rip and tear. She screamed for me to let go, uncontrollable sobbing came from my part, I tried to keep up the scary demeanor but it slipped as soon as I heard Ria whimper. Pinning her down with the uncontrollable hunger, tears welled up in my eyes, I remember staring her down, my stomach curled as I took another good look at her

Her gorgeous long, blonde hair, her side shave, her dazzling purple eyes, her cheeks as pink as cherry blossoms, her tan and white skin, blotched and beautiful, she always told me how much she hated her vitiligo, I've always loved it.

She was terrified, I heard her heart beating, she'd whisper my name, crying out to me. I dug my claws into her sides, repeatedly whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." over and over, I dug my claws deeper and deeper, feeling her blood trickle under my nails and to the floor below. She was weeping, hissing in pain. I wanted to stop, but if I didn't end this madness of mine now, I knew I'd hurt others. I did this to feel the pain of watching someone I cared about deeply die at the hands of a monster, to see other's perspectives.

At my breaking point, I went for the throat. My normal target would be the stomach, but I didn't want her to suffer any longer. I bit down, and with one final scream, she choked on her blood and died.

My face was covered in her blood, I could barely see anything. My tears washed away most of the blood but it was still blurry. Instead of eating her, I left her there. Eating her would be too much.

So here I am, crying. Guiltily licking the blood off of my face. Tomorrow's the day that I end everything. My suicide note is ready, my letters are ready, and last but not least, I'm prepared to leave this diary behind. I've fulfilled my duties, and tomorrow morning, everything will be okay.

____________________________________________________________

[Timber's suicide note, the letters will be in the next chapter.]

Greetings to whoever is reading this. It's the year 2020, September 15th. I commit suicide this morning, as you know. In my room, under my bed, you'll find my diary, along with a few letters that I've written to my friends and many others.

I died with so many regrets, so many sins that no holy water can wash them away, and so many burdens I caused that stacking them up would reach higher than the Eiffel tower.

I was known to do most of the murders in this place, I was in power, even nurses cower under me, but I wasn't always like that. I used to be a cheerful girl, one that got into cannibalism and was taken here with my best friend. After the friend died, I had no choice other than to make new friends. Together, we killed. We killed so many people.

We became addicted to meat. We tried to get out of it, but I did something that sealed my fate forever. I drank the mystery water.

I killed one of my friends, I ate one of my injured best friends, I can't go on any longer. I've hurt too many people. Threatening, alone, terrifying, hungry. That's all I was. I was nothing in the daytime, just a meat sack walking around waiting to be activated by any kind of motivation, and the motivation just happened to be murder.

My death is not only mercy to put my meat addicted mind to rest, but mercy to the Sanitarium, the whole world even. A world where I don't exist is the most peaceful, and a better place. A place where De Pride Isle doesn't exist would be a peace-filled bliss.

I can't achieve the bliss, but I can erase myself, and that's good enough.

May my friends have a better life without me,

And may Gay Jesus have mercy on my soul.

I've reread my diary multiple times before this morning, and I'm sure that, at first at least, it would be an average diary. An average diary of a cannibalistic psychiatric patient.

Goodbye,
-Timber.