Entry:

Looking back through this book I wonder if I've made others feel this kind of fear. The fear of eating another person, how I didn't want to eat anyone to me wanting to eat my friends. How scared I was of others, how I didn't want to die. 

I've become such a monster, should I just accept it? Should I just stay like this until I die? I can't do anything. 

What would Hal think of me now? 

I want to leave.

Holy water won't even save me. 

I'm going to die, I'm going to die on my own hands, but I want to get my friends out of here before anything.

So that's why we're planning on running away. Forever. 

The nurse's only goals were to kill us until nothing is left.

I'm going to destroy the nurses with my own teeth and hands, I want to rip into them, take off their legs, and eat them. Those tall ass nurses would be enough to feed an entire dorm.

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Entry:

The other cannibals heard of my offense, and to get back at me they tried to eat Fiah. Fiah was screaming and crying, I tried to help her but I was too weak. I couldn't do it. 

Fiah's alive, but she's in critical conduction, the nurses refuse to help, she's going to die. We're going to protect her until she's better, but I can't be alone with her. I'll eat her if I do. I chew on a bone as a sign of "don't fuck with me" to warn other cannibals to back the hell up, I stay outside of my dorm during these times, I keep watch outside. I surround bones outside our dorm to let others know that the veterans can and will fuck you up. 

We escape tomorrow morning, I'm trying to save bones so I can chew on them and get that taste of human meat without eating my friends.

I'll be waiting for the day they escape.

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Entry:

We all tried to get out of here, we had to leave Fiah behind until we found a safe way to get out. We've come to a conclusion;  Build a boat and sail off of this island. 

We've been here for about 6 months, I don't want this anymore. 

As we tried to find materials in order to escape, things got risky and...

Maya...

She... she fell off the cliff. We can't swim, and if she hit the ground she would've died. I can't tell if it was an accident or suicide, she couldn't take this place anymore and we couldn't find anything.

I don't think she wanted to go back to the sanitarium, so she killed herself. 

God how much I want to do that.

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Entry:

We never told Fiah about what happened, we bring her meals and talk to her every night. 

Sometimes she asks about Maya, we avoid the question or make up an excuse. 

Part of me hopes Maya is alive, but I'm almost certain that she's dead. 

Momma's been really protective lately, even with me being the main defense due to my inability to keep my hunger under control, she still tries to protect me. I wish she didn't, she cares too much about me.

I wish that they began to create distance between me, one of these days I won't be myself anymore.

One of these days, I'm sure that I'll only be a hungry predator. But they refuse to break the emotional connection to me, it breaks my heart to think that if I ever eat them they'll be smiling and they won't hate me if I do, and that's the worst part.

I want them off the De Pride Isle as fast as possible, before I turn into more of a monster before anyone else gets them. 

The amount of damage that I suffered due to the mystery water was minimal compared to other cases that have rumored around, but because I'm the only known person that's lived through it, I'm mentally damaged. 

I'm currently outside the dorm as my friends sleep, one of them is awake to take care of Fiah. I look back at them once and a while, it hurts to hear Fiah ask why Maya isn't rooming with us anymore. 

I look around, cannibals attempt to avoid me, I crave for their flesh. 

How long until I lose control? Who knows. For now, I'm their savage little guard dog.

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Entry:

We go to see if Maya's body is still there, it isn't. A part of me hopes that she survived the fall and is currently escaping this wretched place, but I'm almost sure that she got carried off by the sea. 

I, Momma, and QB are currently constructing a boat, I use some of the bones so it isn't just wood. We use vines and some tendons from the extra body parts to construct it. 

I haven't told Momma or QB that I plan to stay here in this hell. It's for their own safety, they're recovering, I'm getting worse. I've mentioned it to Fiah though, in the middle of the night when everyone's asleep. It was late, and there weren't many cannibals around so I vibed a bit and despite my meat hungry state, I could manage a conversation with Fiah as long as I chewed on bones and tissue. 

I told her that I'm getting worse, and I can only think about meat, and how I was going to stay here after they escaped. 

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Entry:

We have built a stable boat, there's enough room for everyone, including myself, but I plan to fill that space with Pride Melons. 

Speaking of Pride Melons, they taste a little bland compared to how I thought they tasted, they used to taste tangy, sweet, and juicy. Now they taste like sweetened sand. I like them still, but human meat is so much more delicious.

I should stop thinking like this, thinking of eating my friends. 

I need to isolate myself no matter how much I want human meat.