I'm Sorry
I can't take it anymore.
Everything, the shouts, the noise, the pain I'm feeling inside.
It just hurts when even your family doesn't believe you. When they don't believe in what you can do. When they blame you for what you didn't even do!
It just hurts that you put up a front everyday. When you can't take it no way.
There's always this luttlr voices that keeps on screaming inside my head that I don't have anyone left. That they left me because they hate me. That I need to kill myself so it'll be a better world.
Then there's people that keeps on saying bullshits abou me when they don't even know what I feel everyday.
That they think that they can just come to me when they needed me. And leave me when they got what they want.
Then there are people where they are sincere with what they're saying but I think it's only forced.
I'm not even important am I?
All these thought came running inside Peters head when he saw Tony, the father he thought he would never loose, was with Skip. The one who hurts him when he was just a kid.
He didn't try to tell them because he knew Skip had each and everyone of his family in his little finger.
So he ran away with the thought.
"They Replaced Me."
-
I ran, ran and ran. I ran until his legs gives out. I ran until I can't take it anymore. I ran until his world became a blur. I ran, ran away from reality.
Reality, a world where people can judge you for what you are.
I remember my teacher once said Its better to look at the mirror than outside a window. Because in the mirror, you can stay positive. Escape from reality. Escape from people that are judgemental. But when you look out the window, you can see the reality the world has been. The reality where there's no on safe, no one to trust. But sometimes facing reality is much better, than being stuck inside the little fantasies inside your heads.
I laughed at the thought. I laughed at how reality could be painful.
I laughed at my futile attempt to stand against reality.
I'm dumb, am I not?
I'm useless, am I not?
I'm just a replacement.
Tears strung down my face. Tears that I can't stop falling down. Tears that released how I felt. And tears that held the thing that keeps me up.
I Peter Parker, had lost the light, had lost the hand holding me. I had lost my purity.
This night, I lost the most important thing that makes me, me.
I lost my happiness.
-
Peter woke up to an unusual place. But he know that he didn't get far from the tower, so he must be in a guest room.
So when he went out. He didn't smile, he just fixed his things, and surprisingly he found his clothes, so he wore a black jacket with white T-shirt and black pants. Got his black converse. And fixed his hair.
He still had marks if tears on his face.
So he wiped them off.
Going out his room he was met by angry Avengers. "Why did you run outside? In the rain." Tony asked in his 'I'm not angry, just dissapointed voice.' Peter just had to hold back a scoff, this man literally asked why he was out there when he was the cause of this fiasco.
"Why did you suddenly care, anyways I'm late." Peter stalked off, not greeting goodbyes, not paying attention to what the others where saying.
He didn't even smile at them!
So Peter went down the elevator. Going out of the place with a bag carrying his clothes and school stuff.
So when he went to school, Flash immediately took Peters mood and started teasing him.
Not expecting Peter to talk back at him.
"Hey Parker, Stark got tired of cause of weren't sucking his dick right?" Flash and his goons laughed.
"I don't know Eugene, I'm not the one with daddy issues am I?" Peter said.
That took Flash to another level.
"I am gonna beat you up Parker." Peter rolled his eyes, "Come at me."
Flash went to punch Peters face, Pete just held Flash's hands twisting it, making Flash scream out in pain.
"Stop, Stop! I give!" Peter let's go of Flash's hands and said "Your just jealous, so shut the fuck up and stop bullying. I could do worse if I want to." Peter glared at Flash and his goons.
"I'll sue you!" Peter laughed at that.
"I'm suing you right now." Peter laughed harder.
"Go on, continue, I'd like to see your face when I say to everyone in the school that Eugene Thompson keeps on peeing his pants when his scared, he has very bad odor, his only a replacement and second place plus, his gay. He has a crush on... Hmm... Who do you have a crush on? Oh I know, you have a crush on that filthy bastard Skip Wescott." Peter said
Flash was now crying.
Peter walked out, a smirk on his face. He got to his locker and went in his room.
-
When he got back to his new home, he immediately went out to work, arriving at an office, he got to work. Finishing everything he has on his table. Got back home late, he entered the home he shared with Aunt May before.
He bought it back, and went to go out on patrol.
And when he started fighting criminals, the criminals looked confused, the Spiderman they knew would talk their ears out. But instead the Spiderman was quiet. Not the usual.
"You done staring?" Peter asked the robbers, he rolled his eyes in the suit and shot them to the wall, not even bothering to know who the girl that he saved from.
'What's the matter with loser?' MJ, the girl that Peter saved thought.
-
Months had passed the Avengers has yet to see Peter.
Like the kid doesn't even come to the tower, but they were contented with Skip.
So when they actually cared, they went to Peters school to see Peter talking with Ned, new style and all, Ned saw them and immediately told Peter of their arrival.
Peter smirked as Ned looked at him, knowing what his friends would say.
"Come on Ned, we might be late to class if we just wait here." Peter shouted, knowing the Avenger were hearing this.
Ned just walked away with his friends.
The Avengers looked shocked, this wasn't their Peter. It couldn't be.
So when they headed to the auditorium they saw Peter getting ready.
"And last but not the least, Mr. Parker!" The Avengers looked confused, wasn't Peter a Stark now?
And now they were listening to Peter speech.
"Reality"
Reality, 7 words that could change the look you have on the world. Just this simple word can give you meaning to various things. Such meaning that it'll make you doubt if what even is your purpose here on earth? Here where people can judge you for who you are, where people could easily betray you for what you are."
"Cause I myself, has been living in a reality where life isn't fair, where everyone I loved just left me in the dust." left him? What does he mean left him, they were here!
"But it also keeps me wondering, why am I even facing reality? When I can just hide in a corner where my fantasies would stay with me. Where I imagine that I'm always happy! That I don't have to keep putting a front! Smiling even though it's all forced! But then again, facing reality means your getting matured. Your not a kid. Your not so busy that could be pushed around like a rag doll!"
"Because I have feelings too! So what if I ran into the town, raining?! And you ask me in the morning what the fuck I was doing there?! Well fuck you! You were the cause of this! You were the cause off the grief that dwells in me!" Tony looked shocked.
"But they do say, the happiest could never stay happy, the purest could never stay pure, the laughter will die down someday, and that's because of you. When everything's breaking down, when everything's disappearing. There's not else you can do but let go of the hand that holds you."
"And that's what I did. I changed, and that's reality, it'll take your sanity away when you can't get it nor grasp on to it anymore. Reality or fantasy, people could never be trusted. They will on play with you, leav3 you, and finally they will replace you with someone they thought will be better." Peter bowed and went down the stage.
Ned and MJ started calming him down from deep breathes.
Peter looked at his friends and said. "This is the last time guys. This will be the last time I'll see you." the look on his friends face were mixed.
Even MJ had tears starting to form.
"You can't do it Pete! Please! You've still got a long life!" MJ said.
"Who would play Lego's with me? Who would be my friend? Who would stick with me until the end?!" Ned said.
"I just can't take it anymore! I'm just a bother!" Peter shouted.
MJ knew the Avengers were here so she decided to shout.
"Are our happy now?! I'm gonna loose my best friend tonight and I can't do anything about it! Can't you see the pain I've out him through?! Can't or see how much I've hurt him?! You fucking replaced him on his fucking birthday! He has no-one left! For fucks sake, all you had o do was take care of him!" MJ screamed.
Her eyes releasing tears.
"MJ, don't, they don't care about me anymore so there's no more need. I'm sorry but I've made up my mind." Peter ran out the doors,
Everyone started whispering, Ned and MJ sprint out the door, Tony got a hold of MJ
"What will-" MJ slapped him "He's gonna fucking kill himself! And your just standing here?! I thought he was you're son?!" MJ sprints out the door.
The Avengers nodded, they soon went out.
Searching for Peter.
Searching for the light that disappeared.
And Peter? Peter was on the balcony of Stark Industries.
Looking at the setting sun.
"Karen?" Peter whispered.
"Yes Peter, Mr. Start is calling shall I answer?" Peter smiled sadly.
"Can we talk before you answer the call?" Peter said.
"Of course Peter." Peter had tears streaming down his face.
"What would you feel if I died?" Karen didn't answer for a while.
But if Peter heard sniffles, he didn't think it came from Karen.
A year ago, he made Karen and FRIDAY bodies.
He always talks to them so seeing them now was a surprise. He heard them sniffle.
"I'd be sad, angry and depressed. Peter, you are one of the best people I know, why loose it?" Karen asked.
"I just can't take it anymore." Peter took of his mask.
"Do you know why I named you Karen?" Peter asked.
"No." Karen answered.
"Because of Spongebob. Plankton wife was named Karen, she was sweet and caring even though she was just a computer." Peter explained.
He then felt someone hug him. Warm arms. When he looked he saw Tony hugging him.
He pushed Tony out of the way.
"Peter." Tony started.
"Don't explain anymore. I'm just a replacement aren't I?" Peter said.
"No Peter, no." Tony said.
He tried gripping Peter but Peter let's go.
"No Mr. Stark, I can't take it anymore." Peter ran over the edge and said "The world would be better if with out me would it?" Peter then moved over the edge and said "Goodbye Mr. Stark." he jumped off.
Falling to his death, but he felt cold, he opened his eyes to see Tony carrying him.
And the only thing he could do is just cry.
-
When Peter woke up he saw the Avengers, "Peter!" Natasha said.
"I'm sorry but I hate all of you." Peter looked down.
"Would you ever forgive us?" Tony asked. "Maybe. If you would listen to me that Skip raped me before and until now." Peter closed his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell us before?" Steve asked. "You would listen to me even if I said it. You were happy with Skip." Peter said.
"We would always listen Peter. Plus, your important." Peter nodded.
"I can forgive, but trust would be hard to obtain." The Avengers nodded.
"Will achieve that trust, don't you worry Peter. Now rest up." Peter nodded and went back to sleep, the Avengers carrying their bed as they slept next to Peter.
This will be the hardest mission they'd ever faced.
"Gain Peters Trust Back."
So guys, I hope you enjoyed the story so far, there will be a chapter where the Avengers try to gain Peters trust back. But would they succeed? Find out in the part two, "Gain Peters Trust Back." and this is the longest chapter I did. I'm so proud.
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