Chapter 9:
Princess of Suspicion

I looked as he left.  He just left.  He did not even spend any time with me.  He was too upset with what happened to his sister.  And then his arm injury was hurting him again!  It was so hard for me to watch him wince in pain. 

And again he dismissed it as if it was nothing.  I must find out why he is always hurt.  I must help him.  I need him to trust him.  I do not want him to be in pain anymore.  I sighed as Miza lead me away.

"Cheer up, Your Highness!  I am sure it be fine.  Don't worry, he will return and swoop you off your fe....er tail?  I guess that saying doesn't really match up in merphan."

I smiled sadly, "Yeah guess it does.  Miza did you see him?  How his shoulder was hurting him.  I could not imagine him taking out both of those merphans who tried to attack his sister.  It probably hurt him even more."

"Princess, you need to be patient with him.  I know you have some undying sweet desire for his fine body, but you must allow him to tell you." I was too tired and a bit upset to argue with him.

"And he speaks so ill of his parents...I could never.  I wonder what they did to deserve that?  Unless he just upset about this entire thing that happened today." I was swimming back and forth almost ranting about it all.

"I think there is buildup from overtime..." Miza trailed off.
Buildup huh? I thought in my head.

"I wonder...."

"I wonder if you realized how much you care for him?" I sighed and shook my head. Miza is a unique mermaid.

"He never look at me the same way again." I twirled a strand of hair through my fingers, sighing.

"Again?" Miza eyes gleamed and it seemed as if he was smiling.  "He already has been looking at you that way?  So I was right and my perfect kingdom ship has sailed!" He shouted dramatically, but I just shook my head.

"Oh shut up Miza!  I mean if I say something." Oh I could never.

"Sure he won't.  He is not that heartless." But I shook my head refusing to believe his words.  How could he?  Does Miza know what he thinks of me?

"Oh please... I am just a child to him." I put my fin and waved his response away.

"But did you see him after he saw you several months back?" Again with the humanic language I do not understand.

  "He was just dumbstruck.  Especially when he looked at you.  I mean you did look nicely too.  But it was as if he saw you more than a friend." I mean that was true, but....
No!  I refuse to believe he could ever see me more than a friend.

"He has gotten more masculine and beautiful." I sighed, he really is something.

"I don't think you should call him beautiful...Well not to his face."  Why?  He is beautiful.

"But he is.  Just by looking at him..." I sighed and looked down.

"He is a fine piece of meat, I know!" Miza raised his arms wide above his head.  "It is hard not to grab him and doing it against the wall, but such a shame he can go around looking like that."

"Jeez stop calling him that!  I mean yeah it is true....But stop saying that!"  I felt heat rush to my cheeks.  

"Ah! You are blushing!  How adorable.  I hope it sails..." He exclaimed doing flips.

"Ugh would you stop.  And Especially in front of him.  Do you have any idea what he could of done if he heard you?" I really do not want anything to change.  Once something changes it is all over.

"Something amazing...  He might accept you as someone special."

"Doubt it..." I trailed off looking down.  The fact I had to have a conversation like this in the first place is so embarrassing.  I am a child to him.

"You can't be so sure.  I am so much younger."

"Closer age than any one else.  Look at any of the others he probably know.  I have a feeling they are either older or way younger." I tilted my head.

"Really?" My head shot up,  "Why are we closer to age than any others?" I had to know.  It could not be just a coincidence.

"Well... Your Mother and his father were friends.  And She was friends with his mother.  And your father was the son of one of the knights.  They were all friends it is no wonder they had their ceremonies together." I opened my mouth.

"Oh....That makes sense."

"Exactly, princess.  And do not give up."

"But that girl he mentioned...... He said she was like a goddess.  He probably thinking about her as we speak.  And do you remember what he said?  'I should of seen Izzi.'  There obviously something going on." They were secretly seeing each other, I just know.

"I really do not know...." Miza always try to make the best of things. "The way he-"

"Enough.  He said once before he did not care who he became desired to.  He does not believe in any of that.  All he wished is for someone not annoying.  I am probably just some annoying feminine he thinks as a friend nothing more."

  I remember, he hated it when I was disrupting order and having fun.  He thought it was annoying and was worried about me.  His eyes flared and he asked what I was doing.

"Princess you know that not true...." Miza put his arm on my shoulder as if to comfort me.

"Do I?" I frowned.  "Just let me know if there anyone you know named Izzi.  And find out about her."

"You know that going to be hard when that obviously not her real name." He put his finger up and began to sit down.  Wait....What?!

"What!  He has a nickname for her too?" I thought he gave one to me because I was someone different..... It upset me even more.

"His sister's real name is not Mina.  I actually do not even know it.  His parents call her that too.  It actually could just be a family name for her, but it could be mo-" But I put my hand up.

"No." I shook my head.  "He calls people little names for merphans that probably are friends or more."

"He calls everyone shortened names, except for me.  Get this, he complained about my name once.  He could not shortened it." Miza laughed, "He hates long or real names."

"Oh...I thought he did that because I was special." I frowned.

"Oh Your Highness, I didn't mean it like that!  He cares for you more." Yeah sure...  This conversation is getting useless.

"No." I looked away.  "It does not matter.  We are....friends."

"At least you admitted your attraction to his fine body.  I mean look at his bare chest and those abs.  He must exercise and fight a lot.  I mean those are just lickable." I could not help but chuckle.  I guess I have.

"Yeah he is one of a kind.  Maybe I can just stare at afar and that is all." I muttered sadly.  But wait, would he find out and think I am a creepy stalker?  I am not a creeper either!

Miza lowered his voice to whisper, "This is the part where you say 'Oh Miza you are absolutely right he does have such a body that is just so heartwarming and tasteful.  I want to spend every second being with him." I stared at him and started laughing.

"Miza...Miza...Miza..." I shook my head, "Really....Seriously?  You had to." I muttered as we went into my room.

"But you should be prepared I heard he is coming again soon in the next few days.  You better be prepared." I blinked.  What why?

Oh I would be prepared.  I was going to find out what is wrong.  I have a suspicion, but I was hoping it was not true.  His arm hurting. 

Randomly hurting more sometimes.  His despise for certain people like his parents.  That is quite strange.  What could they do to make him feel that way?

I was in my room laying down and soon before long sleep overtook me....

~~~

"Now put your hair to the side." I did exactly that.  "Take this blue flower from above the sea." I put the flower to my nose and it smelled of the salty sea and sand. "While you are at it, crystallize it to maintain its shape."

  I began freezing it that way, it would not be sucked up by the sea.  How it last this long I do not know, but I hope it would make me stand out.  Then I put it in my hair.  "Now a corset... Red?  Pink?  Silver?  Green?  Purple?  Which one would fit you?"

"I...I do not know." I did not know if this would work.

"What is his favorite color?  Do you know?  Which would he like that would make you stand out?"

"What the point of all this...?"  I sighed.  "He probably does not even care for me like that at all.  Importantly, to him I am just a young child.  And what if he-"

"No-no none of that!" Miza flapped his arms around.  "Of course he will.  Remember our conversation the other day.  He will." He pressed his arms together confidently.

"And if he doesn't, we will forget him.  Listen, when he saw you for the first time in several months, he could not even take his eyes off you.  I am sure he probably just doesn't realize it, but he cares for you."

"Yes sir..." I mumbled shamefully.

"He cares for you the exact same way you like him." My eyes widened, no.  How could it be?

"I do not like Prince Zen!" I yelled as I crossed my arms, flushing.

"My, my!" Miza grins.  "Aren't you a red one." I am...What?

"Am not!  Listen he so fancy and as you said before.... Just look at him or think of him.  Now look at me to him I am just a young girl that he spends time with here because there nothing better to do!"

I exclaimed pushing my arms to my face, covering the newly colored pinkness that appeared.

"Princess Kaisa....Or should I say Isa?" He smirks smugly.

"Quiet." I pointed my finger at him and demanded, "Look I want him to notice me."

"I swear next you going to be saying notice me senpai." Miza joked, but I had no clue what that meant.

"Huh?" I  titled my head in confusion.

"Nothing, human reference." As usual, Miza a half mermaid and humanic made humanic references sometimes.  I never got them, but sometimes I wondered what it was like.  I heard stories and with recent events, mermaids are disappearing because of them. 

But does that mean they are bad?  Miza's parents do not seem to be bad ones.  Well I never met them, nor asked much about them.  The one time I did, I think I mentioned something bad and he.. he shut me out...

"Oh." I responded after the empty silence from my thoughts.

"Look at you.  Your hair to the side and curled lightly at the ends.  Your necklace brightening your eyes making them more blue than grey.  And now this corset which I think  would do the trick." He holds up a beautiful silver corset that shined like pearls.

"You think this will work?"

"Definitely!  Oh and be yourself.  Never change too much.  Cours' you are looking to impress, but not yourself you should change.  Never change your identity." I nodded.  Of course.  Never change too much, I understood where he was coming from.

"Miza...What if... What if.... he just thinks of me as normal?" I thought of everything I been through with him.  Him scowling to him chuckling softly or from his famous glare he always gave Miza for being a creep.

  I mean if he heard how much he talked about his body he would not even want to come near him.  I mean I do not blame Miza....

"He could not possibly.  If he does he does, he is not worth it and we will show him what he is missing out on." He has good advice.  He should be our merphan therapist.

"Miza, Zen and I....Our relationship I love it, but I want him to see me as more.  Is that selfish?  It probably a stupid crush, but I want to be with him.  I want him to trust me, I want him to let me in, I want him to tell me his secrets, I want to help him, I want him to feel the same way, but at the same time I do not want anything to change. 
         Am I selfish?  I really want him, but at the same time I do not want anything to change.  What if he hates me afterwards and says I am idiotic for caring the way I am for him." His eyes soften before looking at me.  He shook his head.

"Princess, don't ever say that again.  Don't ever let me hearing you say that!  He couldn't hate you.  He likes you at least in a friendly manner at the least." Then pain shot through his face.

  "Oh no, did I just indirectly made him friend zone you?  I am such a terrible person!" He is so crazy.  Sometimes I wonder if he hit his head when he was young and became permanently dead in the head.

I laughed softly, "No...It is alright.  And thank you."

"Oh, anything.  Just remember my words." Not yourself you should change. Never change your identity.

"I do look fine right?  I do not look like it is too much, right?" Please do not say stupid, I thought

"Nope." He press his lips together as he shakes his head.  "You look perfect."  Perfect?  I seriously doubt it.   Zen is the perfect one with his appearance and is so intelligent there is nothing he does not know about.  He studies all the time and knows everything. 

The only thing I worry about is how he keeps everything inside of him never telling another soul what is troubling him and how sometimes he looks so..so pained.

I wonder.... He always been irritated disliking his parents, well at least lately.  Could that be part of it?  But he always adores his sister.

I shook that thought away when I heard voices.  Miza turns to me gives me a thumbs up and winks before swimming off.  And he left me alone...  He not serious is he?

I frowned and swam to the library.  I sighed, be normal and do not say anything too abnormal.  Just read?  Nah that no fun, and that something he would do and I would never.  Just then I saw Miza in the corner wearing black glasses and dark clothes as if to blend it.  And he was waving to me.

Oh goddesses of the sea, please save me...

...

"Mm-hm Ah, yes.  I will study... Oh?  Not study?  What do you mean?  It is like asking to not swim.  Of the oceans... What?....  Oh.....  Yes.....  Of course.....  No, I am alright.  Why?.... Me, concerned?  Worried, dislike of this plan.  What...What makes you say that...Yes...Just go.  Yes...."  I heard a familiar voice of a certain Pacific prince.

I saw him swim into the library and went in front of him, "Oh!  You are here." I smiled.  I smiled.  Wait is that weird?

"Oh....Y-yeah." I saw him look away from me not meeting my gaze.  Is there something wrong?  Oh no, he hates what I am wearing, right?  "So...Hi?"

"Oh?  Wait, is there something wrong?  There is something on my face, right?  Look if it your parents we can talk about it or your injury or....or is it the fact you have to study?  You could just not and if anyone asks you said you did." He finally meets my gaze and blinks.

"Oh...N-no t-that actually was no..... You know what, you are right.  I could not study for once." He pressed his lips in a thin line thinking as he stared at me.

"Yes?" I see Miza in the corner of my eye slapping his hand to his forehead.

"Nothing, you look older.  And beautiful, I like it." Me?  No...Way

"Oh..." I turned away.  I never been more glad to of been wrong.  "Thanks." Then he said nothing for awhile and neither did I.  We both had no clue what to stay.

  We just stared at each other then looked away and frequently Miza was slapping his head.  "About your arm.... Are you alright?  I want to help you.  I think I can.  I could crystallize it and maybe it-"

Zen let out a long sigh, "I thought I told you to stop worrying about that?  You and Miza both.  Do you not see that I am fine and I do not want you to worry.?  Pff guess you do not I mean you never consider what I am feeling anyway..." What he is feeling?

"What?!  That is not true!" I quickly exclaimed to him.  "I just want to help.  I want you to trust me.  I want you to let me in.  As friends?" I heard Miza making a coughing sound when I said friends.  I felt terrible about it.

"Friends....Huh?" He muttered darkly.  "Why?" He suddenly asked as he frowned.  "Why you care so much?  It is so frustrating.  Annoying.  I do not care about ever single detail about you...." I looked down. 

Oh.  "Wait... That came out wrong!  I do not care if there anything you do not want me to know.  I respect that.  Why do you not?"

"I already told you.  I just want you to trust me and confide in me.  It is good to tell people things.  You should not keep things all to yourself, you know." I looked down and sighed.

"How so?  Besides who says I am keeping them to myself.  I told.....one person, but they accidentally found out so I...I had to.  It not like I wanted to." I looked away annoyed.

"The person you call Izzi?  I should of known someone like her...." As I trailed off, I could not help even to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

"Oh?" He cocked an eyebrow.  "What is it to you?  I tell her things and not you?  I bet you rather be in her place.  Of all the oceans.....Can it be true...?" He muttered the last part quietly, but I heard him.

  True?  Of what?  "Why?  You jealous or something?  Pfff.....Ha... I seriously doubt it." But it was quite the contrary

"And if I was?" I questioned.

"Then I say you be stupid to." Well I guess I am a stupid one.

"She probably far more fair and beautiful than I..." I sighed.  "You would not even miss a chance to put her on the list of most desirable." His eyes widened and then he let out a dry laugh. 

But it was not of happiness or playful.  It was a sneer or scowl laughter.  A hallow laugh with dryness to it.

"How amusing!  I guess I let you in a little secret.  She is one of the lowest on the list." He brushed his lips to my ear. 

"But what you care?  Just because we are friends and you want me to share stuff with you?" He muttered darkly. Why does he sound so disappointed?

"No I just want to help you...." I put my arms to my sides confidently.

"How about I tell you another secret after all you seem to love to know secrets." He pressed his lips together, thinking.

"You are on my list." What?  That is impossible.

"W-what...."

"You said it yourself as I hate to even say this, but you think of us as friends." He grimaced darkly.  Friends...The word left a bitterness to my tongue. 

"And your tolerable...I guess, you are not annoying.  I like spending time with you." Oh.  I smiled looking away.

"Please..." I shook my head in disbelief.

He closed his eyes. "Erk...F-fine m-maybe you could help.  I mean it been worse lately and I have not seen Izzi recently.  You know she helps make it better, but maybe you could also." He looked at me warily.

"Wait really?  Me?  Help, you?"

"Stop stalling.  Wait any longer and the offer is off." He muttered rolling his eyes.  He complaining so much.  What is with him?

"Come here.  I have to get something....Just in case I mess up and I-"

"You are not good at this than why did you offer?" His eyebrows arched as his pupils were filled with fire.

"ZEN!" I shouted his name, "I wanted to help and I am...Just in case.  And what with you today...You seem different."

"Oh?" He said as we swam along.  "I am the same.  There nothing happening." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"If you say so...." Just then we arrived in my room.  "Ah!  Here we are!" I clapped my hands together.

"Huh?  What this place?  I never been in here before...Nor have I seen it."

"My room." He blinked at me.  Once.  Twice.

"W-wait.....What?!  W-why you t-taking me h-here?" He tripped up on every word and I noticed his cheeks were tinted of redness.

"I need flowers and they are there." And I also want to avoid Miza, but I did not want to say that.

"Oh...Of course." He understood completely.  

"What?" I picked up several crystallized items and ice.

"Umm...Those flowers!" He stared at the flowers Miza brought.  "They look like they are from the humanic world."

"Oh you are right.  They are." I admit to him.  I was not sure if I was allowed to or Miza would want me to tell, but I did anyway.

"You been there?!" He gasped.

"What?  No, not me." I shake my head as I pressed my hand to his shoulder.  He instantly flinched and I could tell just me touching there was painful.  "Your shoulder..."

I slowly said avoiding his question.  Maybe sometime in the future I might tell him the truth. "Can you...With your armor?"

"Oh!  Y-yeah." He finally took it off and my eyes widened.  A dark gash was bruised against his shoulder, arm, and upper back.  It was terrible and I had to help. 

"Look... Do not feel pity for me whatever you do.  What happened....Some of it I deserved.  Other times....Not so much, but I am used to it.  Just lately, it was worse." His voice quavered and sounded pained. 

"I am not." He lays down- almost on me, but I ignore the tingly feeling.  Instead, I went and slowly froze up his arm and crystallizing it.  I knew it would help. "I think you should talk to me.  It might hurt a little."

"It be worth it..." He said quietly as if I was not suppose to hear it, but I did anyway.

"What?" I asked.  I needed him to repeat that.

"Do not worry about it." He leaned his head back into my corset while I tended his arm.

"Oh would you let me know what happened." I am afraid my suspicions are correct.

"I think you already know, Isa.  But if you wish to know.  Everything I do has to be done perfectly and if not....You know what happens.  Any questioning or arguments all ends the same I suppose... Ah.." He sighed, but for some reason it felt like it felt better. 

"I should of asked you to do this a long time ago.  It is better, more than ever when I get it tended, or maybe it is you.  You special like that." I felt my breath stop for a moment and for a second everything stopped.

"Special?  Me?" I laughed, he has to be joking.

"Hm?  Yeah, why not. I should really of had you done this way sooner.  This is better than anything and you are....you?" He was hiding something else now, but I really could not figure out.

"Zen...I.." Say it, I told myself, but that was when the words got caught in my throat.

"Oh?  Look at that." He observes around us.  "It getting quite late...." He places the armor back on his shoulder and arm. "I think I should be going."

"O-o..Yeah." Miza will really have me for not saying anything, but now I finally decided.

I rather be friends than risk everything.  I rather not because of this, what we have... I cherish greatly and I would never want to ruin this.  In a world of selfishness and destruction, there are many greeds that we desire for, wish of. 

Always, I stare out in the sea every day.  But during those times, no matter what is going on, no matter how you feel: everyone needs a friend.  So I tell myself, I choose to ignore these feelings, for a friendship has a greater outcome.

"No worries.  I will see you soon, yeah?" He grins smiling a small and tiny one. I nodded and waved and for once even as a bit bitter as it was, I am glad we are friends.