1. Silver Eyes by Ava_night_Writer

Title: 9/10

Cover: 9/10

Blurb: 10/10

Plot: 15/15

Creativity: 15/15

Grammar: 10/15

Characters: 4/5

Interaction with reader: 4/5

Overall enjoyment: 13/15

Total: 89/100

Review:

Your imagery is beautiful and striking; I can see the plot taking shape before my literal eyes. The very first sentence of your story was already compelling. Although readers were not yet familiar with this dystopian world, you've managed to sketch a general idea of the surroundings. The scene in which Grace's brother was withheld from crossing the border despite him having the correct colour is absolutely heart-wrenching. This last part of your first chapter nearly had me balling my eyes out and I was extremely angry at Heather for not helping Grace. This only proves how skilled you are in conveying palpable emotions through inaudible words.

Your worldbuilding is methodically natural as you carefully weave futuristic and post-apocalyptic elements into your narration. Readers are introduced to the Border and Technohumans and Transit Capsules... But I have some questions: What exactly is the job description of a Narval officer? In chapter 7, Heather was assigned to guard the electric tower (which is one of her duties as a Narval Lead) but I would like to know how exactly her presence could have protected the tower during an acid rain storm.

The pacing of your plot seems reasonable enough. Usually, when the protagonist discovers that they have supernatural abilities or must go up against a villain, they first have to fail continuously before they hit the climax and fully master their skills. However, I'm so grateful that you skipped over any tortuous training sessions with Grace and made it that she already excelled in her combat training.

Grace is an emotionally conflicted main character: The incident at the border had filled her with bewilderment and frustration. And it must have had the same effect on your readers. And at some point, she also feels somewhat guilty for enjoying her new life while her brother is probably suffering on the other side of the Border. Heather radiates a solemn and dignified aura in the way that she behaves and speaks, but we also see a sympathetic side to her. Kate has a playful personality considering how she likes to joke around. However, your descriptions of Mark and Laura were brief and stiff. In one part of your story, you directly described Mark as being "colourful" and "vibrant", two qualities that I suggest you try to show (bleeding such information through dialogue and demeanor) instead of stating explicitly.

Your grammar mistakes include comma splices, using the wrong word order, incorrect dialogue punctuation and capitalization. Please remember to assign a different dialogue paragraph to each new speaker.

So far, your book was filled with many different surprises. The mystery factor contributes to the magnetic nature of your story and your dystopian world is highly intriguing.

2. The Eyes of Power by TheWordArtistBooks
(Based on the prologue and first 14 available chapters)

Title: 10/10

Cover: 8/10

Blurb: 9/10

Plot: 15/15

Creativity: 15/15

Grammar: 10/15

Characters: 5/5

Interaction with reader: 3/5

Overall enjoyment: 14/15

Total: 89/100

Review:

Your prologue sets a desired tone of vengeance, determination and rage. You wasted no time with the introduction of your protagonist (Iolla) and the plot was already able to roll off in the first chapter. Your paragraphs don't always flow into each other; they sometimes jump from scene to scene, but your overall pacing is nearly flawless.

I've always been a fan of tropes in which a patchwork of teenagers must combine their individual skills to achieve a common goal. Iolla is the average MC and Denisse is her tech-savvy best friend. Luke and Christopher seem to possess these comic personalities that bring a smile to the reader's face. And although it's not an entirely fresh hallmark, Braya's blindness is such a unique addition to her character. She's an excellent fighter and highly independent. I've also spotted a few incipient OTPs amongst the group. With all that said, Scover is by far the most intriguing character you've designed. He's odd and indecipherable. We still don't know what his superpowers are, but I have my theories.

Regarding your fighting scenes, I advise you to utilize more descriptive action verbs to create a highly dynamic atmosphere. For example, in chapter 4, I would make the scene in which the assassin on the train knocked Iolla down more dramatic. I'd place greater emphasis on the assassin's weapon or countenance and Iolla's emotions. Here's an idea: My stomach flipped over as the woman pinned me beneath her weight and raised her arm into the air, her fingers curled tightly around the hilt of the dagger, the edge of the blade glinting with malice. No! I can't die! In a desperate attempt to prevent the imminent attack, I created a futile barrier between myself and my assailant by lifting my arms over my face and chest. However, you did compensate for the lack of thrilling imagery with more brawls in the ensuing chapters. Plus Chapter 10 and 11 had me at the edge of my seat, praying that Io would receive an opportunity to use her abnormal abilities to escape.

When it comes to grammar, remember that an ellipsis only comprises three dots. You've also made several mistakes regarding your tenses, commas and capitalization. There should be a reasonable balance between the use of pronouns and proper nouns. If your readers already know that the kidnapper's name is Patrick Weaber, then there's no need to constantly refer to him as "the man". And addressing him as such may also lead to confusion.

Your story is turbulent, exciting and captivating. You've thoughtfully woven the elements of fantasy, sci-fi and mystery together. Your narration contains lovely examples of similes and personification. I only suggest that you tweak your dialogue and the way you phrase certain sentences or descriptions to improve intelligibility. All in all, great story.

3. Rhodoreef by SuVida777
(Only based on the first six chapters)

Title: 10/10

Cover: 9/10

Blurb: 10/10

Plot: 15/15

Creativity: 15/15

Grammar: 14/15

Characters: 5/5

Interaction with reader: 5/5

Overall enjoyment: 14/15

Total: 97/100

Review:

Your imagery is outstanding and your writing displays such a well-seasoned vocabulary. Your narration presents readers with beautiful examples of personification, similes, alliteration and metaphors. I perceived how meticulous you were in terms of diction; you made use of your own creative colloquial language that I would refer to as the merpeople's "aquatic dialect". Your first chapter was exciting. When Dea was hit by the cyclone, I could picture the entire scene unfolding before me. You vividly described how she was shoved under the water, knocked her head and was dragged out into the open ocean into a chaotic storm. Although not much has happened, the pacing and the plot itself is thrilling.

Your characterization is highly impressive; you've designed a group of fascinating individuals. Dea's grandma has a typically stern personality and doesn't want to associate with humans whatsoever. However, Dea has a rebellious side to her and seems quite literate in the tech department. Oomie is one of your most distinct characters due to her outward appearance and her significant role in the story. I would advise you to introduce a few details more naturally. When you mentioned Dea's hair colour for the first time, it wasn't as smooth as your other descriptions (it seemed somewhat forced).

I noticed that you often referred to Hima as "the other girl" in one of the exchanges that occurred between Hima and Dea. I understand that you did this to avoid repeating her name, but the alternative noun that you used only made it sound as though a new speaker has joined the conversation.

Your brilliance and originality alone is mind-blowing. You've entirely flipped the script of the popular Little Mermaid story by creating a modernized version of the underwater world. Although oceanpunk is an already existing genre, you have managed to take it much further. I believe you've unlocked a new writing category. I would just like to know: How did the merpeople acquire such technology in the first place? So far, this is a wonderful book.

4. James Knight: Teenage Superhuman by IskippU

(Only based on the first eight chapters.)

Title: 9/10

Cover: 9/10

Blurb: 9/10

Plot: 14/15

Creativity: 15/15

Grammar: 11/15

Characters: 5/5

Interaction with reader: 3/5

Overall enjoyment: 12/15

Total: 87/100

Review:

Firstly, I would add a few more layers to your blurb. Right now, it appears to be quite shallow.

Your grammar mistakes include incorrect capitalization and dialogue punctuation. And sometimes you use a word in the wrong context (reminiscent of a malapropism). For example, you had written, Derek's eyes widened with amusement, when "amusement" should have been "awe". Also learn to italicize your flashbacks to distinguish them from your present narration.

You have a bad habit of repeating certain details (in one of your chapters, you had mentioned that Mia had smiled four times in only five paragraphs) and even whole sentences. It's a reasonable mistake, but it's one you must eliminate because it displays a lack of thoroughness.

Personally, I felt as though your pacing in your first chapter was way too fast. Well, at first, you had steadily led your readers through the story—setting the scene, introducing your MC—and then you suddenly thrusted your narration down a sharp slope. I understand that you did this for the sake of your plot development's speed, but fast-forwarding your story is a skilful technique that requires thoughtful consideration. Don't just unexpectedly state that they informed Derek about James' abilities. But to avoid rewriting anything, I suggest that you transfer the paragraph starting with the words "In the days that followed," and everything else after that to the next chapter, indicating a clear transition between the past and the present.

In chapter 2, your writing style was very chaotic. You were trying to describe a slow-motion scene with snappy sentences and this only made your narration confusing.

Some of your sentences are too comma-ridden. Take the following for example: The voices shortly faded, and we cautiously opened the door, bumping into my father and Alexander, a tall, athletic blue-eyed man I'd seen in the laboratory, resembling Samual and my dad. Divide this paragraph into individual sentences.

There are also a few gaps in your story. In the cafeteria scene when Mark unlocks James' phone, how did he even know James' password? And you had also mentioned that James had powered his phone off, so how did he hear the notification when his phone was indeed off? And I expected a different reaction from Mark when James punched him. A shocked expression, perhaps? Anger? Retaliation? Basically anything other than a nonchalant chuckle. Furthermore, when James spots the two superhumans arguing outside the hospital, why doesn't he investigate or try to eavesdrop on them? He just hurries away. If I were him, curiosity would've gotten the best of me.

I would also advise you to expand your vocabulary: You regularly use the verb "admonished" when a character is being reprimanded. There are many more synonyms to replace this word.

As for your characters, they are very distinct. You've certainly hit the bull's-eye in terms of personality construction. Plus, your dialogue isn't all that bad. You weave some great descriptions into your narration, including powerful similes. The mystery factor throughout your plot is your strongest merit. However, I wished there was more action—more dynamic scenes and vivid adjectives and verbs.

Overall, you have an incredible story. It just needs to be carefully edited.

5. Of Caverns and Casters by avadel

(Based only on the first eight chapters)

Title: 10/10

Cover: 8/10

Blurb: 10/10

Plot: 15/15

Creativity: 15/15

Grammar: 15/15

Characters: 5/5

Interaction with reader: 5/5

Overall enjoyment: 15/15

Total: 98/100

Review:

Laine and Aria, you two have a beautiful, beautiful gift for storytelling. Your subtle worldbuilding technique seamlessly bleeds foreign technological and magical elements into your story. Your imagery is effortless, vivid, unique. The powerful diction, the metaphors, the similes and personification all contribute to the speaker's tone and a palpable atmosphere. Even your use of onomatopoeia brings the story and its surroundings to life. You also have a clever, sly way of weaving flashbacks into your narration, capturing the readers attention all over again.

And as for your characterization... I'm speechless. You have a skillful way of introducing and fleshing out your characters. And they're all so clear-cut and captivating. One could already tell that Leavi is an overthinker and a risk-taker in the first chapter. Aster is a desperate and determined prince. Your descriptive choice of words perfectly encapsulates his emotions, how he's torn between marrying his constant failures and chasing after perseverance. Despair leaks through his thoughts, drips from his speech—and yet, he does not quit. And Agraund is a stern, contemptuous man who has a talent for getting on my nerves. Lastly, there's Sean: His meticulous nature and recurring memories forms the foundation for a fascinating temperament. The regular repetition of his thoughts effectively reinforces his OCD. Furthermore, your overall dialogue is an absolute masterpiece.

The storyline is compelling, your characters are wonderful and the writing itself is artistic and emotive. Excellent work.

══════・❃・WINNERS・❃・══════

First Position - Of Caverns and Casters by avadel

Second Position - Rhodoreef by SuVida777

Third Position -  Silver Eyes by Ava_night_Writer & The Eyes of Power by TheWordArtistBooks

══════・❃・CONGRATS・❃・══════

Thank you everyone for your cooperation and also a special thanks to Read-aholic2006 for judging this genre!

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