"Hoseok..." I said pounding on his bedroom door. "You cannot skip session...if you do I will be forced to notify the hospital and they will pull you from this house!" I hit the door a few more times. "Come out right now! Fuck! It feels like I'm yelling at a big brother!"

As soon as I said "brother" his door swung open and I saw a very angry Hoseok looking back at me. I furrowed my eye brows and folded my arms glaring at him.

"What?!" he shoutd.

"Put warm clothes on and a pair of walking shoes we are taking a trip."

"I am not going to the grave yard."

I unfolded my arms and grabbed his wrist.

"Wanna know the best part about being the Doctor in this house?" he looked at me intently. "You all have to listen to me." I tugged on his wrist pulling him out of his room. He fell forward a bit but found his balance quickly.

"Quinn...I...I don't want to do this. I've never been there...not since the day of her funeral..."

"That's a long time, Hoseok."

He looked down and leaned against the wall of hallway. I watched his body stiffen and he pulled his head back hitting it slightly on the wall. "Please don't make me do this." He opend his eyes and looked at me...pleading.

"If you can give me one good reason...then we don't have to go."

He struggled to find his words...opening his mouth...closing it...looking away and down. He ran his hand through hair and exhaled deeply. "I guess I don't have one." The tears in his eyes fell down his cheeks as he spoke again. "I'm scared." It was just above a whisper.

I put my hand on his arm in a comforting manor and I could feel him shake under my touch. "We wont get anywhere with therapy if you don't make peace with what happened with your mother...and you need to understand that you didn't do anything wrong. Nothing was your fault."

He didn't move for a moment.

"Let's just get this over with."

We walked together to the car parked outside. We only had 2 hours to do this, I couldn't leave the other patients alone for longer than 2 hours without another doctor to supervise, but everyone was doing well so I wasn't concerned. The car ride was quiet...silent even. The driver didn't even play the radio. Once we arrived I held his hand making our way over to the gravestone. With every step he shook a little more...I saw him swallow hard as his eyes flickered to what I assume is a familiar surrounding. We were only a few feet away when I stopped him for a moment.

"I'm going to let you do this alone...I want you to say everything you ever wanted to say to her...today...here and now. Do not hold back." I turned him towards me taking his hands in mine. I made him look at me in the eyes as I spoke one more time. "Nothing Hoseok...hold nothing back." I let go of him and he kept his eyes on me...obviously scared to face his mother.

Finally after a moment of eye contact, he stepped to the side and slowly walked to the grave stone kneeling at the head of it. He placed a bouquet of flowers we bought on top of it and bowed. He stayed down...his arm reaching out his forehead on the ground. It took a moment...I think...for it to sink in for him where he was and what he was doing. But as I observed him I saw his shoulder shake. His hands turned to fists and I watched as he used both fists to pound into the ground.

I was far enough away from him that I couldn't hear what he was saying...but I could hear that he was talking...it took him about 30 minutes before he lifted his shoulders up. He put the palms of his hands on the stone head and sobbed deeply. I don't know he was saying...I don't know if this was even going to work. But I prayed...prayed that this would help in some way.

I walked over to him when I saw his body stop moving...and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Hoseok...we need to head back."

He nodded and got to his feet. Again...it was a silent trip back to the house. When we got inside he turned to me.

"Are we done for the day Dr. Quinn?"

"We can be...but I have one question for you."

"What is it?"

"How do you feel?"

"Weird."

"How so?"

"I feel...nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing....no guilt...no shame...nothing." I saw a sad smile creep on his face. "And I almost feel bad for feeling nothing...but...its like a deep breath."

I nodded. "Check in with me periodically throughout the day today please...I want to give you time but I also don't know if leaving you alone is what I want to do either."

"Wanna play solitaire?" he asked.

"Double solitaire?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"You're on."

--

Hoseok is stupid fast at this and I'm losing miserably.

"NO!"

"Oh yes!"

"That's seriously 3 times in a row that you've beat me by no more than 3 cards...it's not right."

He laughed and it was good to see he was laughing. Playing this game is a good distraction but I need to dig a bit. As I was setting up my cards one more time I decided to speak.

"How are you feeling?"

"Still weird." He said without looking up. "I just always felt like I could have done more...could have stopped her."

"Logically though could you have...think back...what could you actually have done to stop her?"

He looked at me with confused eyes and he looked back and forth for a moment as if trying to think. He stopped setting up his cards and grazed his eyes to me in deep thought.

"I...I don't think I could have..." he said in a whisper.

I looked back to my cards and spoke not looking at him. "So it seems as if you've been carrying guilt that wasn't yours to hold on to." I flicked my eyes up to his and he stayed still as he stared.

"D-Dr. Hudson...I don't know if I'm up for another round."

I set my cards down on the table. "Okay. Can I trust you to let our day be over?"

"Yes. I just want to sleep."

"Text me before you go to bed and once you wake up. Just a good morning and good night will work."

"I will." He nodded. "Promise."

I watched him walk out of the game room and I finished setting up my cards for a solo round of solitaire. Half way through my game I realized I was going to lose and let out a long sigh.

"What's wrong Doc?"

Without turning I knew who it was. "Hey Tae...what's up."

"You look lonely."

"No I was just playing with Hoseok...I haven't been alone long."

He sat across from me and took hold of the cards Hoseok was using. He set up his own game of Solitaire and we sat there playing in silence. I don't know how many games I played...or how long I was there with him. But I was comfortable.

"Doc?"

I look up.

"Are you okay?" he didn't look at me.

"I'm fine Tae, why do you ask?"

He kept his head down focusing on his card moves. "You're so busy with us...making so much progress within just these two weeks...no one has asked how you are...how you are feeling. Don't you think it's about time someone did?"

I kept my eyes on my cards but my moves were slowing down as I listened to his words. I'd be lying if I said my mind wasn't racing. Always thinking about Jimin when I should be focusing on ALL of my patients. I looked up at Tae only to see him looking back.

"I'm fine Tae...just...just trying to focus on my job."

He nodded slowly and looked back to his cards continuing to play. "Jimin huh?"

Fuck.

He knows me too well...

"I guess."

"You can tell me ya know...I wouldn't tell on you...not after everything you've done for me."

I stopped playing all together looking up at him. He stopped looking back.

I took a deep breath and nodded slightly. "I just want to do my job...and he doesn't make it easy. I could lose my license Tae."

"You can handle it." He said smiling at me. "No one in this house is going to tell on you...even Namjoon. We all want and need your help...you can trust us."