After my "goodnight" text from Hoseok I laid my head down on my pillow finally able to relax. Jimin asked for his session to be after lunch so I told Jin I would be sleeping in tomorrow morning. I laid there with so many thoughts spinning through my head.

You love him just be with him.

How can I love him when I hardly know him?

The heart knows what the heart wants.

That's just cheesy.

But it's true. Your heart knows you should be with Jimin.

No...he's my patient.

So?

It's not right.

The inner turmoil I was feeling weighed heavy on my chest. Emotionally I was hurting knowing what I really wanted. Mentally I fought with myself between what was right and what was wrong. Physically I had an ache for him I could not shake. That was the worst part...it was the hardest to control. Any time I was in an enclosed space with him my body wanted to do things my heart called for which my mind wouldn't allow. This constant struggle between three different truths was too much. I cried myself to sleep that night. Happy that Jimin felt the way he did for me, scared that I felt the same way back, and sad that I could not act upon anything.

The next morning I woke up with a jerk as I gasped for hair. I had a dream...but I couldn't remember what it was about...I couldn't hold myself together at that point. Too many ignore emotions flooded through me and I grabbed a pillow sobbing into it. After a while I fell back asleep exhausted from the emotional draining and the non stop working I had been doing.

I woke up again to the feel of my bed dipping slightly and a body spooning me from behind.

Damnit Jimin.

I was about to scold him when I turn to see Taehyung behind me.

"Taehyung?"

"Hmmm?" he said with his eyes closed.

"Why are you here?"

"I heard you crying..."

I couldn't respond. The arm that was around me tightened and he pulled me closer to his chest. There was a safety to Taehyung I felt in my gut. He was a good person...a good friend. He cared...It had been a long time since someone was concerned with my mental health. I molded into him allowing him to comfort me. I needed it. After a while I heard him take a deep breath through his nose and he turned me to face him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He nodded slowly putting my hair behind my ear.

"Just be careful okay Doc?" He looked so concerned. "Jimin is wonderful...but Jay isn't. I don't want to see you get hurt."

I kissed his cheek before I sat up straight. "Tae get out of my bed." I laughed.

"That's a first." He giggled.

"A woman kicking you out of their bed?" I said with a raised eyebrow.

"Well...anyone kicking me out of their bed." He laughed. "But I'll get going so you can get ready." He started walking towards my door but turned before he reached it. "Wear a royal blue dress today...It brings out your eyes and Jimin will love it." He winked and turned walking out of my door. When I heard the door shut I ran over to it and locked it letting out the breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

Jimin likes me in blue huh?

I ran to my bathroom and showered quickly being sure to shave...everything. It always made me feel cleaner when I did. I dried my hair and put on my favorite body oil. I decided to wear my favorite white lace bra and lace boy short panties to match. I grabbed one of my favorite royal blue dresses. It was short but not too short, flowy and sleeveless. It wasn't modest, but it wasn't prude either...just enough of my chest showing to show off some feminine features.

I decided to curl my hair a bit...I hadn't done it in too long. I put on a little make up, very light, and when I was done I looked in the mirror. I loved how my eye's popped with the royal blue color of the dress. I pinched my cheeks to give them some color and grabbed my phone and keys. Leaving my room I needed to get ready for the session I was going to have with Jimin. It was almost noon. I locked my door and when I turned to go towards my office I could see the silhouette of the body I wanted so badly pressed against my own.

"Jimin?"

"Hey beautiful."

I walked closer to him and when he saw me up close I watched him eye me from head to toe.

"Beautiful may be an understatement...you look stunning."

"Well thank you." I giggled.

Damnit...stop flirting!

"Are you ready for our session today?" he asked swallowing hard looking me up and down again.

"I am."

We walked into my office and once the door shut the atmosphere became thick. I was painfully aware that we were once again alone, and I heard him lock the door. I turned to him to be greeted with a sly smirk on his face.

"I don't want anyone interrupting our session." He said smiling.

I nodded. I went to my desk and grabbed my note pad and pen sitting in the chair opposite Jimin. Oh god...I looked up and saw his head tilted looking at me.

"Are you...nervous?"

"No." I said too quickly.

He giggled and I was glad I was sitting down. His laugh was the most melodic sounding thing I had ever heard in my life...I could listen to it all...day. Ever since I spoke to Tae briefly last night about him, my feelings had become so much stronger. I think it's because I finally admitted it to myself when I said it out loud.

He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees and his face in the palms of his hands. "Whatcha wanna talk about today Doc?"

"Who are you? Tae?" I laughed.

He didn't laugh, but furrowed his eyebrows. "No...I'm not Tae."

"Then its Doctor Hudson...not Doc."

"So he can call you that but I can't?"

I was rather thrown off by his tone. He was annoyed with me. "Jimin, Tae calls me that because he doesn't have any respect for me as a Doctor...I thought you respected me."

He poked the inside of his cheek with his lounge and took a deep breath. "I do." He responded.

"Good...now let's start."

"What are we starting with?"

"The last time your alter showed up. When was it?"

"It was last summer, around May I think."

"What happened to cause him to surface?"

He hesitated momentarily and took a deep breath breathing out slowly and loudly. He shifted forward again getting comfortable. "I got in a fight."

"Who with?"

"Tae."

I wasn't expecting that. They were so close in the house and always keeping eachother in check. AND Taehyung seemed to be more excited about Jimin and I being together than either of us being.

"What caused it?"

"I walked in on him giving the other shrink a blow job."

"Explain further..."

"He asked me if I wanted to join and when I said no...he said things...things that were not nice."

I raised an eyebrow. "Not nice?"

He shifted a little uncomfortably and cracked his neck. "He was provoking me. Saying things like, he saw the way I looked at him...knew that I wanted him...blah blah blah...I wanted his dick...blah blah blah...then he approached me and touched me...that's when...Jay came out and...he beat the fuck out of Tae."

I stiffened a bit.

"What?"

"Taeyung had to stay 3 nights in the hospital because he was so hurt." Tears started to form in his eyes but he continued anyway. "I broke 3 of his ribs, his nose, his arm, he lost a lot of blood too..." I notice tears started to fall from his eyes...but he continued speaking slowly again anyway. "He almost died...I had to be removed from the house for 3 months in a mental hospital...Taehyung had to sign an insurance form stating he wanted me back in the house and felt safe in order for me to come back. I was shocked that he signed it."

His voice cracked at the end. I could see how distraught he was about it. I could see the pain that radiated throughout his body. I wanted to hold him...the urge to lunge at him and take his face in my hands to kiss him was killing me...but I didn't do it.

"Jimin...were you conscious during it."

He nodded his head slowly still looking down.

"Do you remember all of it?"

He sniffed wiping his nose. "Yes."

"What happens when your alter takes over?"

He let out a nervous laugh. "It's like...it's like I'm stone. I cant move and I can only breath through him. I see everything from his eyes but I don't feel anything. Almost like watching a movie and I can't stop him." He started to tear again. "I can never stop him."

I leaned forward trying to keep eye contact with him. "What is your goal then Jimin? What do you hope your future holds for you?"

"Happiness."

My heart burned for him. All this man wanted was happiness? Some people have adventures they want to go on, some people have ambition, Jimin just wanted happiness. It's so simple yet so hard to achieve. Happiness isn't an on-going feeling...its moments that make the unhappy times worthwhile.

"What is happiness to you Jimin? What would make you happy?"

"Love...a job...a family." He takes a deep breath. "I just want to get out of this hell...Jay...he ruins everything...every good thing I ever get he takes from me. Tae was my best friend...Taehyung was my best friend. And from some stroke from God he stayed that way and didn't completely abandon my friendship." He takes another deep breath. "But I don't have a life...nothing about this...nothing at all about this is a life...I love the people here...but I want out...I want out so desperately I can almost taste it."

I see him visibly shaking but its still Jimin. It's just an upset...very paniced Jimin.

"Jimin take a deep breath...in and out..." He did as I said. "...in and out...good...keep going."

Finally after a few moments he was calm and collected breathing normally. He looked at me with intense eyes as I pondered whether or not to ask the next question.

I took a deep breath through my nose. "Jimin...I am extremely happy that you opened up to me and told me what happened last year...I'm even more ecstatic that you and Taehyung are still friends. But before we end our session...I have one more thing to ask you."

He waited patiently for me to continue.

"Why do you think he hasn't resurfaced since?"

He looked at me for a moment...as if he was trying to find the right words. "I honestly don't know."

I nodded slightly as I leaned back into my seat.

"Can I have the medication?"

I looked up at him to meet his eyes.

"Not yet Jimin." He sighed heavily and slumped back into the chair. "Your alter hasn't surfaced yet, you havnt shown any negative behavior, and to be honest its been so long since your alter surfaced I wouldn't be surprised if he's actually gone."

As I spoke he continued to shake his head. "You're wrong...he's in here...I can feel him."

"Sometimes we are so used to a part of us that we can't help but think it will never leave. But Jimin I promise you...you wont always have him as part of your life. You're young...you're healthy...physically...we just need to get you there mentally."

He ran his hands through his hair rubbing his eyes after. "Are we done?"

"We can be."

"Please...I've had enough of this."

"Okay...you may go."

Without a word he stood and left the room as fast as his body would let him. I sat there on my chair breathing deeply. This is exactly why I didn't want anything going further with Jimin than a doctor patient related relationship. He was getting attached...I was getting attached...and now he isn't just mad at his doctor...he's upset with me too.

I sigh before I go back to my desk. I make notes in my computer and once I finished I close my laptop. It was just over and hour that passed but before I could stand I hear a knock at my door.

"Come in."

I did not expect to see the person who was standing at my door.