Tyler

"One more step," Josh says as we carry his drum kit up the stairs of his house. I can't see anything thanks to the kick drum being in my face, so I've been relying on him to not let me trip and fall back down to the first story. Scary, right?

"Don't you have a drum kit up there already?" I ask, raising my right foot until I feel the next step underneath me.

"Yes, but you know this is my special kit. I wanna practice on it before our next show. It's like my lucky set. And hey, you can't say anything. We have to haul your piano up the stairs at the venues all the time," Josh replies.

I tip my head. "You have a point." Josh leads me to the last door on the left and opens it to reveal a practice room acoustically designed for studio performances.

"This is cool!" I exclaim, setting the kick drum down gently in the middle of the floor. Josh has a house in LA, and this is my first time visiting it. As soon as I heard rumors of us being the potential opening band for other major bands on tour, I flew out here to practice with Josh. This tour may help us get out there and become well-known.

"What songs do we want to rehearse?" Josh asks me.

"Mmm....what about Holding Onto You, Ode to Sleep, Car Radio, and Guns for Hands?" I ask. "I think those would be good crowd pleasers. Especially Holding Onto You since it's energetic."

Josh nods as he starts to assemble his kit. "I think those would be good. I also really like my drum part for Holding Onto You, so I'll be happy with that. I kinda wanna practice something different, though."

"Like what?" I ask.

Josh thinks for a moment. "Um....what about House of Gold?"

Something stirs inside of me. A memory of some sort. I dismiss it, then look at my bandmate. "Okay. I'll run downstairs and get my uke."

I jog down the carpeted staircase and into the living room, grabbing my ukulele from the coffee table from where I was messing with it earlier. Then, I climb the stairs once again to the practice room.

Josh is waiting behind the drum kit, which is now fully assembled. He clicks his sticks together. "Ready?"

I bring my ukulele to my chest and nod, then start strumming the familiar muted C chord.

"She asked me, 'Son when I grow old,

"'will you buy me a house of gold?

"'and when your father turns to stone,

"'will you take care of me?'"

Josh's drumbeats kick in at the second verse, along with the memories. White teeth. A smile like the sun. Pretty pink lips. Eyes every shade of blue imaginable. Golden-blonde hair. A soft voice that made you feel like your ears were being tickled by feathers.

She's suddenly crying in her room, sitting on her bed. I brought up the subject of her cousin. I've got my arms wrapped around her shoulders. It was the day I played this song for her.

Josh's drumbeats echo in my ears and then falter. Why is he in her house!? It was only her and me that day.

"Tyler."

I open my eyes to see that I'm in Josh's practice room. He gives me a confused look from behind his drums. "You stopped singing."

I shake my head. "What?"

"Yeah, I came in on the second verse and you just kinda stopped."

I shake my head again and sigh. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"First door on the right."

"Thanks," I mumble, walking out of the room. I accidentally walk into a bedroom before I realize that he meant my right as if I was coming up the stairs, not going down them. I walk across the hall and into the bathroom, flipping the light on. I close the door and set my ukulele on the counter, then grip the edges of the marble, steadying myself. More memories flow through my mind as I look in the mirror.

This time I'm in the school bathroom crying (I'm such a man, I know) as I dab at my bloody nose with paper towels. That's when I hear her voice asking me if I need help. She leads me out of the bathroom and sits me down in front of the lockers, then makes sure I visit the nurse later.

Jenna Black. My high school girlfriend. Scratch that: the only girlfriend I've ever had. No one else has really shown an interest in me. I guess it's because I'm a little messed up.

Pain stabs at the chinks in the armor that some may call the heart. I loved Jenna so much. She got a scholarship to California College of the Arts and I put all of my focus on the band back in Ohio. There was so much space between us that things just didn't work out. I lost her number at one point because my phone sim card decided to clear its memory, erasing all of the contacts that I had. We haven't heard from each other in years.

Wait a second...I'm in California right now! What if she's still here!?

Oh, don't be stupid. CCA in is San Francisco, not LA. That's like the top half of the state! Plus, there's like a million people in California. You'd never find her. What if she doesn't care about you anymore? What if she moved away? What if she's married? What if she's dea--

"Oh, enough of you!" I exclaim. My head has been pretty active lately. But still, the thoughts kinda of get to me. What if she doesn't actually care about me anymore? Maybe she actually did move away. Who knows.

I splash cold water on my face, grab my uke, and head back to the practice room. Josh is still sitting quietly behind the drums. He raises an eyebrow when I walk in.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," I reply in a clipped tone, messing with my ukulele strings as an excuse not to meet his gaze. I sigh when his eyes don't leave me. "Okay, maybe not."

He puts his drumsticks in their sleeve and leans forward. "What's going on?"

I shake my head. "It's stupid."

   "Tell me."

I sigh. "Remember Jenna Black?"

"Dude, of course! She was amazing!" he exclaims.

"Have you had any contact with her?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "I haven't talked to her in years. I don't think I even have her number anymore."

"Me neither. Anyways, House of Gold stirred up some old memories of her and...I miss her, Josh. I know that I shouldn't. Heck, it's been like eight years, but I miss her. A lot. And it hurts. It's like I never got over her."

He nods. "She was awesome. It doesn't surprise me that you're still hung up on her."

"I just wish I could see her again," I say, running my hand through my hair. "I never should've let her go in the first place. I'm so stupid."

"First of all, no you're not. And second of all, maybe God has this planned for you. Maybe this was meant to happen. Maybe you'll see her again someday. Maybe one day there will be some baby Tyler and Jenna Josephs running around..."

I close my eyes and laugh, grimacing. "I don't want to think about that yet, Josh."

He laughs. "Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood."

I smile. "You always seem to know how to do that."

He shrugs. "I try. Do you wanna take a break?"

"Sure," I reply. We go downstairs for something to eat.

Josh pulls a Rubber Maid container out of his fridge. "I have salsa and chips."

I shrug. "That's fine." I pour the salsa into a bowl while Josh opens a door, which turns out to be a walk-in food pantry. He jumps to grab a bag of tortilla chips on the top shelf, which sends a few more bags flying. I stand there and laugh like the good friend I am while he grabs one bag and crams the remaining ones onto a lower shelf.

We take the chips and salsa over to his living room and flip through channels on the TV, trying to agree on what to watch. We finally settle on The Walking Dead since nothing else is on.

I glance at my phone to see an Instagram notification. That's when it dawns on me: what if she has an account!?

"Oh my gosh, I'm such an idiot!" I exclaim.

"Okay, tell me why you are 'such an idiot,'" Josh replies.

"I might be able to find Jenna on Instagram!"

Josh tips his head. "Okay, so maybe that was a little idiotic for you to not think of that before."

I roll my eyes and unlock my phone to try to find Jenna's Instagram. I type in her name three different times, and nothing pops up.

(A/N: Okay, so for the sake of this fanfic, we're gonna pretend that Jenna doesn't have an Instagram yet even though she made her first post in 2012 and dated Tyler before September of 2013. This is my story so I'm gonna pretend this never happened lol.)

 "Well crap," I say, looking up from my phone. "She doesn't have one."

"Try Facebook. Everyone has a Facebook," Josh replies, also looking at his phone.

I try Facebook. "Looks like she doesn't have that either."

Josh's head shoots up. "What!? She doesn't use Facebook!? What kind of uncultured swine is she?" My disapproving glare shuts him up. "Nevermind. Sorry."

I sigh. "I just wish there was some way I could contact her. You don't think Mark has her number, do you?"

"Eh....Mark and her didn't talk very much, so probably not."

"Well darn," I reply, sighing.

"Don't worry, I'm sure things will work out," Josh reassures me.

I smile. "Thanks bro."

I lay in the bed in Josh's guest room, staring at the ceiling, memories of Jenna projecting behind my eyes like a movie. It must be about midnight if I have to guess.

I feel hot tears running down my face as I relive the memory of Jenna saving me from jumping off of a cliff near my house. She was the only thing that stopped me from plummeting to my death.

I cry even more when I think of her and I dancing in the rain at the park. That's one of my fondest memories with her. It was such a beautiful moment that will stay with me forever. I press a pillow against my face so Josh won't hear my cries. Gosh, I'm such a sissy, crying over a girl like this.

I try to think of other things to occupy my mind until I can fall asleep, yet a question still remains in my mind.

Where in the world is the girl that stole my heart?