If you don’t know, Ramadan is the holy month where Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset. Even as a preteen and my early years as a teenager, I didn’t get what the point of Ramadan was, but the older I got, the more I understood and the more I was amazed.

            Let’s take fasting. People like to eat. And if they’re not eating for thirteen, fourteen, or fifteen hours at a time, you’d think they’d know why. Evidently not. We fast so we can see what it’s like to go without food and water, a harsh reality that many of our brothers and sisters in humanity experience every day, all year round. And the sad, heart-breaking part is that they don’t have an iftaar [meal to break the fast] to look forward to.

            Fasting teaches us humility. As humans, there is a seed of ego implanted in us because of our brain’s difficulty in conceptualizing the supernatural and a non-physical entity. Because we cannot fathom much of what God really is, we assume we are the best and most advanced species and we come to believe that we can survive on our own. But just by depriving ourselves of food and water for a few hours comes to show us that our weakness lies in something as simple as not having food. That’s all it takes to make us weak. And this realization of weakness leads us to be humble, one of the most beautiful qualities a soul can possess, in my opinion.

            The more mature I get and the greater my understanding becomes, I’ve begun to notice flaws in how we—as an ummah [community]—treat and behave during Ramadan. I was reading some hadith a few days ago, and one hadith in particular really sent chills up my spine because the signs are evident in our present-day lives.

Hazrat K’ab Bin Ayaz (R.A.A.) states that he heard the Holy Prophet (SAW) say: “Every Ummah (nation) has a test to undergo, my Ummah (nation) will be tried through the wealth.” (Tirmizi)

            Clearly, we’re undergoing that test right now and I don’t really think we’re passing. How, you may ask? Let’s evaluate Ramadan. During Ramadan, we’re not supposed to be wasteful. We’re not supposed to be luxurious or extravagant with our food (at any time of the year). The whole POINT of fasting for so many hours is to learn the value of food. Yet what do we do?

            Well, for suhoor, we have a huge variety of foods because for some reason we can’t seem to compromise on one or two dishes so we feel the need to have a whole buffet. We stuff ourselves and then what do we do? If we don’t want something, we don’t finish it. Simply because we can. Simply because it’s embedded in our psyche that we will always have food, and that it’s okay to throw away something because, hey! There’s more, right?

            Seriously, if you’re going to be wasteful or extravagant with food, do yourself a favor and don’t put yourself through fourteen hours of deprivation IF you’re just going to mitigate the progress you should be making with your actions. It’s just paradoxical and it makes no sense and you’re doing something that’s only hurting you in the long run.

            Example number 2! To pass the time of fasting, we engage in activities that don’t bring us any closer to Allah or Islam. What would those be?

-- Skyping with friends for excessively long amounts of time to distract yourself from the hunger. Now don’t get me wrong, Skyping with someone isn’t BAD. I’m planning on doing it with my cousin today or tomorrow just to catch up on life and fangirl over the beauty of Ramadan. But you need to keep things in perspective and not let it become a distraction from your prayers and your devotion. Also, if you’re Skyping towards the end of the fast (when you’re the hungriest) while your mother is in the kitchen making iftaar, child click that end button and go help someone who’s just as hungry as you but working thrice as hard to put food on the table. -_____-

-- Sleeping. Sleeping. SLEEPING. Okay, I have to say, sleeping is my biggest weakness. I am the world’s heaviest sleeper (I’m convinced I am) so for me, Isha and Fajr are the two hardest prayers to pray with full concentration and devotion. But sleeping the whole day? NO NO NO. NO. You’re not doing yourself any favors by fasting if you’re not even going to reflect on WHY you’re going hungry if you just sleep the whole day through! Seriously, what kind of life is that? That’s torture…that’s not Ramadan!

-- Technology! God, people. Turn off the TV. Turn off the music. Exit out of YouTube. And Tumblr, if you’re on for more than fifteen minutes a day. I’m not dictating, believe me. And I’m not perfect. YouTube is probably the best way to pass time without even knowing it. Growing up, my dad always said that nothing is haram unless it distracts you from the straight path or from your duties as a Muslim. Therefore, when I don’t pray Asr immediately because I’m writing Confessions of a Muslim Girl, writing in that context has become haram for me. Get what I’m saying? It’s distracting me from my duties as a Muslim. I believe music is the same way, but that’s a story for another day. This technology stuff needs to stop distracting us! This is an example of how our wealth—because we’re privileged enough to have these luxuries—is a test and obstacle for us when it comes to reaching that next level of faith. Just learn to live without it for a bit. Don’t go on the Internet for a few days. (Yes, I did this for 3 days and I am alive and breathing and sane.) Don’t go on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and all that for more than 15 minutes. I get that sometimes we’re so used to having these things in our daily routine that it’s hard. No problem! Be gentle with yourself and slowly shave off five minutes every day. Inshallah you’ll get there! If not this Ramadan, then the next! Just stop being so external and look within yourself. If you look closely, you’ll learn so much about yourself and your faith. Just open up the Quran to any random page and start reading! It’s really fun. Just open up a kid’s book about Islam and review your ABCs of Islam! Ash fun fact: every few months I relearn how to pray. Basic, I know, but I like to go back and make sure I’m doing it right, fix any little mistakes, improve my posture during prayer, focus more on my body language, focus on centering my thoughts, etc. Try it! :)

-- Eating. Eating. EATING! There is nothing worse—I repeat, NOTHING WORSE—than going through fifteen hours of food deprivation that is supposed to teach us the importance of food and simplicity and cutting back and then seeing people stuffing their faces when it’s time to eat. MODERATION! It’s sunnah of the prophets! Take it easy. Take a few bites. Reflect on why you did what you did. Make dua to Allah SWT. Pray for those who don’t have the comfort of iftaar. Don’t just fill your plate immediately. Let someone else take food before you. Change your mannerisms for the better. Think about others first. Let your family take food before you do.

-- Drama. Don’t do it. A hadith reports that Prophet Muhammad SAW said that the fastest way to get to hell was through our genitals (any illegal, sexual acts) and through our mouth. Look, I’m a teenage girl. I am SURROUNDED by drama, especially masjid drama. Sometimes we can’t help but be in situations where the conversation revolves around gossiping. Sometimes we accidentally let something slip. It happens to ALL of us. But what’s important is that we remember not to engage in these petty acts. Just stay away from anything negative like that. Keep your mouth closed more often than it’s open. That goes a long way! It works for me every time I’m around someone who gossips a lot. Just block it out, go to a happy place (perhaps yours is somewhere where your siblings can’t find you).

            See? We’re so used to our comfortable lifestyle, our opportunities, and our wealth that the most trivial things occupy our mind and we don’t strive to think about the deeper issues. We don’t give what we do any thought. If you continue living like that, Ramadan is always going to be some dreaded month, a total burden.

            But a changed perspective can beautify your whole world. I used to just see as Ramadan as an oh-my-God-that-one-month-where-I-have-to-wake-up-early time of year but now, I look forward to it all the time. This is a time when we get the most benefits and rewards. We get Allah’s mercy more than anything. The devil is gone for 30 days, so we have the gift of truly seeing what OUR internal flaws are, not just what is tempting us from the outside.

            Have an absolutely fabulous Ramadan, everyone! I’ll try uploading a tip for every day, just some small lifestyle changes that have gone a long way for me. Every piece of advice I have put in here is stuff that I started following. This is my sixth full Ramadan of fasting (or fasting as many days as I can) and I can honestly say that by taking this advice and reading hadith and following the sunnah of the prophets, my Ramadans have slowly become absolutely fabulous, magical, beautiful months that I look forward to every year. We all start out on different levels of faith, but we can all make lifestyle changes. I don’t claim to be anyone with extraordinary faith but inshallah I can say I had an extraordinary drive to learn more and be better.

            This is our second Ramadan together (for some of us it’s our first!) and even though a computer screen separates us, I can’t wait to take this journey with y’all! ^_^

Love,

Ash ♥