"So, come and sit here..." I tell him as I bring a razor and a bowl of water and face foam

He comes and sits as I say as he keeps looking at me.

"Umm... can you.... Turn .." I fidget on how to start shaving him.... And

"How about.." he pulls me onto his lap.... Ah.... This position?
I'm sitting on his lap facing him.

"Now you can see well" he says

Yeah yeah... how calm of you .... This position... urghhhhh

My heart.... Is beating fast again.
And I kept remembering that... he said he's interested in me and I even said back that I'm interest in him too!
What was that?!??

What was that Byun Baekhyun??? It was a confessionnnn,?????
And now we are this closeeee again???
And we slept hugging tooooo???!!!!!

"Do you not have class today?" He asks

"Ah, I have. But I kinda sleep in so, i just took a leave"

"How about tomorrow?"

"I have classes.. since morning"

"So, I will wake you up and make you breakfast" he says

"Will you?"

"Can't I?"

"No! You can"

"Okay" he says "And, Byun Baekhyun ssi.."

"Nae?"

"You are adorable"

His that usual Low voice... even tho his eyes are really empty... he looks like he sees something in me... and I like it.

I used to get uncomfortable with making eye contact with him back then but right now... I can only hear the sound of my heart fluttering.

He is about to touch my face and... he stops... "Can I?" He asks

I just... nod...

His warm palms touch my face and... he caresses gently...  his hands feels every features of my face... my eyebrows, eyes, nose ... my jawline... and ..... lips....

His hands go down to my neck and my shoulders.... And he takes off my hoodie that I am wearing and it drops onto the floor....

The house is so quiet that, I can even hear the hoodie drops... and our breathing sounds....

'He's obsessed with human bodies. Like skin and bone structures.' - Kyungsoo Hyung

I wish he uses me more.... I want to let him explore my body....

His hands then go down along my arms and he touches my waist... "Should I stop?" He asks

No... I don't want him to stop...

I take off my shirt by myself... with my will ....
And I can see his eyes brighten up a little...as he stares at my naked body

He starts touching along my collarbone and down to my chest... even tho my chest... is not like those women... he still stares and caresses them gently

It really feels.... I don't know..... I know what we are doing now is strange and weird but..... I'm getting excited.... Or ... I don't know...

"I...... Byun Baekhyun ssi.... I......"

I don't know anymore.... I lean closer to him and kiss his lips.. just.. you know... just a peck ... and I quickly lean back again...

"Ha...ha.... I must be out of... my mind... right..." I say

Did I just kissed him????? A man????? I'm .... Into mannnn???????
Whaaaaaaaaa
Or did I just carried away by the situation?
Aghhhh I don't know anymore

I wanna run away now... uwahhhhhh

"I like it. Can we do again?" He asks while caressing my face

I like his touches.... The way he touches every parts of my face and my body...

"Imm" I say and nod..

He pulls my waist closer to his body and this time.. he leans closer to my face

"Very adorable" he mumbles as he starts kissing me

I don't .... Ah.... This is my first kiss and... I don't know how to move my lipsssss
I'm very uneducated ahhhhh

"Stop worrying" he says "Just, open your mouth a little for me. Hmm?"

"Imm" I'm so shy..... uwahhh

"Can you hold onto me?" He asks

I wrap my arms around his neck and he starts kissing me again ... this time... it's faster... and deeper.... And his tongue... it's like asking me to slip into my mouth ...

He nibbles my lower lips and "How far... how far can we go?" He asks

"As far as you want..."

He lifts me up and carries me to his bedroom? I think so... we just kiss all the way to his room

I am put onto bed slowly and... he takes off his shirt right in front of my two eyes... *internally screaming*

He's soooooo goodddd lookinggggggggggg uwahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wait.... What are we going to...
*Chanyeol takes off Baekhyun's pants*

Eh..... are we .... Going to have sexxxxxz????
Wait... wait.. I'm a man... can we do that?

I mean...

Park chanyeol ssi kisses me and hold my two hands together over my head
His kiss... is so great....
It feels warm and slimy and .... Sweet?

And... "nghhh.. ahhhhhhhhhh..... w...wa...ahhh... that's ... hurt..... wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

I cry out loud and he stops..... "it hurts.....it.. *sob* hurts....too biggg....wahhhhhh..."

"I... I'm sorry... i forgot it is your first time... let me check Byun Baekhyun ssi" he says and tries to look at my butthole

"No!" I quickly cover my body with blanket "Don't.. look" It fucking hurtsssss

I didn't know he was going to put that big thing into my virgin manhole!
He was distracting me with a kiss and ...

"I'm sorry, please look at me" he says as he hugs me from behind and kisses my neck "I'm sorry .. hmm? I won't do that again. Please stop crying"

"Yours is..... too big.... It won't fit"

"Is it?"

"Yeahhh!! It was going to crack mine open you know!" I say as I turn around to face him

"Now you look at me" he says

*Baekhyun blushes*

"You are so... cheeky"

"What's that?" He asks as he gently stroke my hair

"That you are so playful and you seem very experienced in dating or... you know... sex.."

"I have done it with others before"

Ouch -_-  .... You don't have to say that right into my face while we are lying in bed nakeddddd

"Yeah yeah.. whatever... just go sleep with someone else"

"Do you .... Hate me now? You hate doing these things with me?"

"If I say I like doing these things with you, will you stop seeing random people?"

"Yes" he answers right away

That's... so cute of him.

I know... deep inside... he's interested in me because of my body and not me, in romantic way.
That's kind of sad but, knowing he's someone who can't bear those kind of feelings.... I don't want to force him either.

I just want to be someone who's useful to him.
I know that, I might be his... next victim....

Even then, I don't want to runaway from him.
Even tho his kindness may not be real, I can feel it. And I love being cared, being liked, being loved?

I'm not lonely when I'm with him, I want to keep being with him.... Talk with him more, be there for him... what's that feeling?

"Do you want to engrave on my body?" I ask

I can feel his hand stop touching my hand and ... he asks "Is that all?"

"Nae?"

"Is that all you see in me?"

"Park chanyeol ssi... I mean..."

"Just like every other, I'm just a filthy murderer for you. Too bad. You had a beautiful body but, your soul... is just as everyone else" he says as he gets out of bed

"Park chanyeol ssi!"

"I will prepare warm bath for you. Take shower and rest. You can use this bedroom" he says and he leaves the room.

Why.... Why does he look so disappointed?
I mean... that doesn't mean I see him as a murderer ....
It's just.... I'm .... *sigh*
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He really stops making eye contact with me last night.... And he really slept on a couch too!

Whyyyyyyyyy
I mean... was I really wrong to ask that?

I just meant..... it's okay for me to... give him what he wants
I'm expressing my feelings for him
Why is he so.... Disappointed in me?

'Just like every other, I'm just a filthy murderer for you. Too bad. You had a beautiful body but, your soul... is just as everyone else' - Park Chanyeol

"Baekhyun!" Juno shouts

"You scared me"

"Why are you thinking so deep?" Juno asks

"Nothing... where is Hyunwoo?"

"He is sick. I should go and check him later"

"Ah... I see..."

"You look very lovesick. You are in a relationship right?"

"What?N...no..."

"Or is that one sided crush?"

One-sided?
Right.... He doesn't know these kinda of feelings and .... I'm ... the one who keeps attaching to him.

"It's... complicated"

"Whatttttt? So Byun Baekhyun finally is in loveeeee????"

"Hey heyyyyy Low down your voice god dammit"

"Hahaha....sorry sorry.... Me your friend is just super happy... so what kind of girl is she? Super kawaii? Super hot? Super mature type? Or bubbly??"

"....... Actually..... Juno ya....."

"What??? Tell me quickkk"

"It's a man"

Juno went quiet for awhile and he looks kinda shocked....

"Does that man originally into boys too?" He asks and this is the first time I have seen that serious expression

"Imm... he had dated boys" I say

"Then it's okay. You still have hope"

"But... I'm not sure he feels the same as me.."

"Does he show the sign that he doesn't like you? Pr doesn't want to be around you?"

"No... not really... we are kinda really close...."

"Then just pick up your courage and ask him out for dinner! Sometimes you have to try ... you know. So don't just sit around looking so depressed you virgin boy. Go ahead and try. So that you won't regret it"

"Try huh.."

"Nowwww go ahead.. call him! I will go and check Hyunwoo .. byeee lover boy" Juno says and he leaves

After Juno left, I take out my phone and dial him...
It's the first time... calling him...

*answer*

C - Byun Baekhyun ssi?

B - ah... Park chanyeol ssi....

———————————————————————-
Hello all!
Here's an update for today.
I hope you all enjoy today's update.
How was it? I have a hard time writing down what is in my head and I am not sure to express them into words.
I'm sorry my English is bad since my first language is not English.

Don't forget to "Vote" & "Comment" 🥺🤍