November 3rd, 1995

The atmosphere of Grimmauld Place felt a lot lighter than usual as I stepped into the foyer, Regulus closing the door behind us. In recent months Grimmauld Place has consisted of lots of closed doors and hushed voices. The whole atmosphere had felt dark, but today it felt more light.

It's Sirius's 36th birthday, though he will claim it's his 26th instead.

I heard Sirius and Remus's voices coming from the kitchen. They were the only ones here right now, which meant that it was a rare moment where there wasn't Order business to attend to.

Regulus took my coat and hung it up with his on the standing coat rack.

We started towards the kitchen only to be disrupted by the portrait of Walburga Black.

"Blood traitor!" She screamed. "Stop letting these half breeds into my house!"

Regulus smacked the edge of the portrait frame. "Shut it," He demanded, continuing towards the kitchen.

"Cunt," I whispered, which only aggravated her more. She let out a frustrated scream before going quiet as Regulus threatened to smack the portrait frame again.

"Darling, have I told you recently just how much I love your mother," I joked, resting my hand on his arm.

He smirked at me before following me into the kitchen.

"Oh, I thought I heard the bitch scream," Sirius said as he caught sight of us.

Him and Remus were standing by the stove, a kettle on the stove.

"Happy birthday, Sirius!" I said, going to hug my brother in law.

Sirius hugged me back, and then I gave Remus a hug. I felt extremely short considering the fact that Remus was almost a foot taller than me.

I sat down at the kitchen table as Regulus said hello.

"So how old are you this year?" Regulus joked, sitting down beside me.

Sirius entertained the thought for a minute before speaking. "Twenty five, would you believe that?" He teased.

Remus rolled his eyes and took the boiling kettle off of the stove. I watched as he poured the boiling water into four mugs.

"Wow, it's like you're aging backwards," Regulus said sarcastically.

Sirius shrugged, "Yeah, I'm just better like that."

I stifled a laugh as Remus handed me a cup of tea and handed a second mug to Regulus before he sat down across the table.

The night went on, and tea was replaced with firewhiskey. Sirius had refused a cake for his birthday, claiming that his glass of firewhiskey could act as a cake and his cigarette could act as a candle.

I had quit smoking right around the time that Regulus and I got engaged at the end of 1982.

Grimmauld Place was drafty and it was making me shiver, so I went upstairs in search of a blanket instead of wearing my coat.

All of the room doors were closed, so I checked each of the bedrooms only to find nothing. By the time I reached the third floor, I was met with the locked door of Walburga Black's bedroom. The door has remained locked since her death in 1985, so no one has any idea what secrets hide behind that locked door.

Sirius and Regulus have never even been inside her bedroom.

I so badly wanted to know what was behind the closed doors of Grimmauld Place, but I think it'll cause too much trouble just to satisfy my curiosity.

I wandered up to the fourth floor, which held Sirius and Regulus's bedrooms.

We've yet to spend the night in Grimmauld Place so I've only briefly been in his room.

In dark lettering, a sign on his door read "Do Not Enter Without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black".

Every time I see the sign it makes me laugh. I can just picture 13 year old Regulus getting irritated with Sirius barging into his room at all hours, and nailing a sign to his door "permitting" Sirius into his room without permission.

"Are you ready to go, love? It's getting late."

Regulus's voice startled me, and I turned to look at my husband.

"Yes, if you're ready," I replied.

Regulus raised an eyebrow at me. "Were you laughing at my door?" He asked.

"How could I not? It's so funny and dramatic," I teased.

Regulus brushed past me and opened his bedroom door, gesturing for me to enter.

"Do I have your express permission?" I joked.

Regulus smiled, "Yes, I Regulus Arcturus Black grant you the express permission to enter my bedroom."

I followed Regulus into his bedroom.

The walls were covered in dark green wallpaper, a Slytherin crest mounted above the fireplace. All of the furniture was made of a dark oak, the entire room was organized and clean. Despite the room being mostly unused for almost two decades, it wasn't dusty like the rest of the house. There were either spells cast on the room to keep it this way, or Kreacher cleaned it once and awhile.

It was much cooler upstairs than it was downstairs, and I shivered.

"Want a jumper?" Regulus asked, going to open his wardrobe.

Much like the rest of his room, his wardrobe was in perfect shape, all of the clothes still ironed and smelling of laundry detergent.

"Are these all of your clothes from school?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"All of them," Regulus answered.

I began flicking through the hangers, finding a lot of button up shirts and dress pants. I stopped when my fingers were met with the soft wool of his jumpers. The jumper was dark blue, the material incredibly soft.

"Did you know that you were wearing this the-"

Regulus interrupted, finishing my sentence. "The first time I told you I love you," He said.

I smiled, "You remember."

"Only the important stuff," Regulus confessed. He kissed me on the cheek from behind before wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my shoulder.

I grabbed the jumper off of the hanger. "Well, I'm taking this then."

"Please do."

Regulus let go of my waist and I slipped his jumper on, immediately feeling warmer than I had been.

"Okay, let's go home now," I said.

We said goodbye to Sirius and Remus, and wished him happy birthday again, before we apparated home.

- - - - -

December 1st, 1995

The sky is dark despite it being the middle of the afternoon. The whole day itself seemed gloomy, but I was glad that it wasn't raining like yesterday.

While I was back in Bristol, it no longer felt comforting to me like it had when I was younger. It stopped being my home from the moment Marlene answered the door and her life was taken from her.

My boots were quiet against the grass as I walked through the graveyard.

Regulus followed me, holding my hand, as we reached my family's plot.

When we reached the headstone, I sat down in front of Marlene's grave and placed the new flowers and a bottle of firewhiskey down on her grave. My husband sat down beside me and put new flowers on my mum and dad's graves.

I opened the bottle of firewhiskey. "Happy birthday, Marls," I said, tilting the bottle up to the sky before taking a sip.

Whenever I come visit them, I try not to think about the fact that the headstones are just placemarkers. There's no coffins and no bodies beneath me. They were all burned in the fire until there was nothing remaining. So there was nothing to bury.

Every year on their birthdays, I come and visit. I also visit around Christmas and Easter, my birthday, and the day that they died.

Regulus always comes with me.

We sit here for about and hour and pass a bottle of firewhiskey back and forth, and I talk to my family. I came and visited them after Regulus and I got married, when I found out I was pregnant with Atlas, when Atlas was born, when I found out I was pregnant again with Elio, when Elio was born.

I still want them to know what's going on in my life even if they're dead.

"You would've been 36 today," I sighed, "But you would still act like you were 21 and refuse to let aging wreck your mood."

I took a sip and passed the bottle to Regulus.

He rested his hand on my knee reassuringly.

"We would've had a party, and everyone would be there to celebrate you. You always liked being the center of attention," I joked. "But I miss you a lot, Marlene. You would've been so proud of Atlas for making the quidditch team his second year, and so proud of Elio's 'take no shot' attitude."

I felt like I was going to cry, but I didn't want to. Marlene would hate me crying on her birthday, so I blinked the tears out of my eyes.

"I love you, and I miss you so much, Marls."