01 | a rush back to reality

"OH STARS. WHAT THE HELL-"

RESISTANCE BASE, ILLENIUM SYSTEM-

"Are you sure that you don't want to come with us?"

Kyra turned around to see Rey in front of her, dressed in an outfit that was new- one that Kyra knew well. She had transitioned from the dirty outfit that the young scavenger girl wore to more dignified grey clothes, the woman's hair tied up in a nice and neat knot. There was a soft look of worry molded into Rey's face, the bag slung over her shoulder filled with the essentials. "You know, it would probably help if you came with us- Han's kind of slunken off in sadness now that he knows you're not coming along."

This memory was ingrained into her brain, just as vivid as the day she had left.

The day had been bright and sunny, skies clear and bright blue. Everyone at the time had supposed that it was a good omen, an indication of all of the good things that would come for the Resistance now that they were going to be tracking down Luke Skywalker.

Resistance members had come by earlier to see the ship off, with the likes of Poe, Finn, and Fox dropping by quickly to say their goodbyes to Han, Chewie, and Rey. Kyra had avoided the confrontation for as long as possible, until Han had actually come to where she had been cooped up inside of her and Poe's quarters, dragging her outside to say goodbye.

A chuckle escaped Kyra's mouth, the woman smiling as she looked up at where Rey stood on the Falcon's ramp, shaking her head. "I already said goodbye to him like ten minutes ago." She shook her head, the memory of the tightest hug that she could give the man coming to mind, the whispers of advice and what she could consider love that the father figure gave her stuck in her mind.

"I told him he can still communicate with us. You're going on a quick trip. It's not like I won't be here when you two get back." She watched as Rey chuckled, the young woman sighing as she realized that she wouldn't change Kyra's mind. "And besides, maybe me, you know, staying, will give him a better motive to return. I don't exactly want to spring it on him that I'm his- you know- daughter."

There was a pause as the two women stared at each other, both understanding what the other had to do. The light breeze from the base weaved through the space in between the duo, rustling their clothes and their emotions ever so softly, only making the situation all the more uncomfortable. Kyra cleared her throat to ease the awkwardness, reaching into her belt to grab the one thing that she knew that Rey would need most.

"Here." Kyra held out her hand, extending it as Rey walked down to grab the object. It was Luke's lightsaber, and Rey seemed shocked that she was giving it up so quickly. She could see the hesitation in Rey's eyes, so she thrust it into her hand. "I can see the look in your eyes Rey. Take it. Use it. You probably can way better than I could ever, if the stories are proven right. Train under him. Become a Jedi. Then we can defeat whatever the First Order has in store for us."

"Kyra-" Rey was speechless in that moment, gratitude and respect written all over her face. There was something hidden deep in her that told her to give the saber back, that it was too important to Kyra just to give up like that. "I don't know what to say." She whispered, inspecting the lightsaber carefully before she stuck it into her bag carefully, her eyes meeting Kyra's one final time.

"Don't say anything at all." Kyra replied, looking up at the Falcon, seeing Han waiting at the door frame of the ship. "Go out and do it. Get him back." She implored the young woman, her head inclining towards where Han waited for her. "Now go." There was a small chuckle that escaped Kyra's lips, her tone a little bit sad yet excited for Rey at the same time. "I'm pretty sure Han's going to bust it if you don't leave right now."

"Right." Rey agreed, turning and running up the ramp, pausing to look back at her friend one last time. "Are you sure?" She asked one final time, seeing the hesitation inside of Kyra's eyes as she watched her go. "There's enough room on the Falcon for you." She quickly added on, not wanting to seem like the only reason she was asking was because of the nervous look that Kyra was trying so hard to conceal.

"Yes." Kyra chuckled, trying to wipe the nervous look of uncertainty from her face. "Seriously." She laughed, gesturing for Rey to turn around and leave before she started to get sentimental and cry in front of her friend. "Go. And tell Han to stop lurking by the door, it'll only make him miss me more." Kyra teased the smuggler, knowing that he could hear every word that she said.

There was a pause as Rey and Kyra made eye contact one last time, a goodbye unspoken between the two of them as Kyra smiled softly, waving goodbye. It was a couple of moments before Kyra watched Rey step into the Falcon, the ramp shutting with a finality that rang through Kyra's ear.

An overwhelming silence suffocated her after that.

Then the scene changed.

Everything around her turning a deep orange red, an eerily familiar sound of screams and fire crackling around Kyra echoing everywhere. Everything was burning, a red and orange glow reflecting off of everything that was in sight. Turning around, the woman saw the Resistance base in flames, everything unlike how she remembered it being.

There were bodies everywhere.

Flames surrounded everything that Kyra could see, buildings on fire, people's final screams and pleas for help going unnoticed as they laid lifelessly on the ground. Everything seemed to be shown through scarlet tinted glasses, the familiar green hues and blue skies of the Resistance base replaced with smoke colored reddish grey in the skies. There was something so unfamiliar, so frightening about the whole situation that it rattled Kyra to her core.

What had happened here? What had gone so wrong that the whole Resistance was dead around her? Who had done all of this to the place that she considered home? More importantly, what had she done? Why was she alive when everyone that she saw around her was-

There in front of her, she saw Fox's body, sprawled out in front of her. His eyes were looking up at the sky, one hand resting against his chest, the other arm reaching for a blaster in his belt that would never be reached. An eerily familiar wound went through his chest, one that Kyra knew all too well. A wound that could only be done by a lightsaber.

Stumbling back, Kyra tried to erase the image from her mind, only seeing the bodies of fallen friends in front of her. The screams of the fallen seemed to reverberate through her mind, the woman only imagining what had happened here before she arrived. There were only a couple thoughts on her mind- the main one being to find Rey, Finn, and anyone else so that she could save them before they met the same fate as Fox. But as Kyra continued to walk through the burning hell that was once her paradise, she could only make out the bodies of Poe's crewmates, ones that she had spent so much time around in the last few months, and, oh god-

Just a couple of paces away, there lay Han and Leia, leaning up against some crates and boxes that were normally used for repairs to X-Wings and as storage for supplies the pilots would need. Their hands were intertwined, a saddened look pressed into Han's face as Leia's eyes were wide open beside him, shock and longing still hidden in the irises of the Resistance general. They seemed to be looking up at something, the flames crackling behind them only making Kyra jump when she walked towards them.

She could see a single tear on General Organa's face, the line running down her face still somewhat fresh, their deaths only a couple of moments earlier. There was a tear still stuck inside of Leia's eye, almost ready to fall, almost like a final goodbye. A final plea. Kyra's hands shook like mad when she reached out to wipe away the tear from the general's face, closing both her and Han's eyes as she turned away, squeezing her own shut.

These images were too much for her to handle all at once.

The familiar patter of stormtrooper footsteps brought Kyra out of whatever state of shock that she was in, turning around to open her eyes, seeing a legion of stormtroopers in the distance. Their bright white uniforms were blatantly obvious against the burning surroundings of the Resistance base, the sight of their armor almost making Kyra sick to her stomach right then and there. Their blasters in hand, it was obvious that they were searching for someone- that someone probably being her.

"Kyra!" There was a strangled scream of her name that chilled her down to the bone. It was a desperate plea, a final cry for help from someone that needed her desperately. She recognized that voice- she knew that voice so much that she almost could call it her own.

It was Poe.

"Poe!" Kyra quickly stood up, realizing that it was probably the worst idea in the world to scream his name. But quite frankly, at this point, she didn't give a damn. Kyra wasn't going to let another person die for her under the First Order's watch. "Poe!" She screamed, trying to follow the sound of Poe's strangled screams.

Turning towards where the ruins of the Resistance base was, Kyra ran as quickly as she could to the end of the docking bays that she was in front of, skidding to a stop when she saw who was standing right across from where she stood. There, through the flames, were the silhouettes of two people that she recognized instantly, the features of their persons only getting clearer as she walked closer and closer. One was Poe, locked up tightly against someone else's chest, trapped in a position that he couldn't defend himself in. The other was a man that she could never get rid of, no matter how hard she tried.

Kylo Ren.

"You really just had to come and mess this up for me, didn't you?" Kyra gritted out, scared and fuming as she looked across at Ren. There was a sadness and rage that radiated off of the woman as she stared him down, not understanding how someone could just come and ruin everything that she had built for herself. All of her happiness, her comfort- it was being thrown out of the window by this- this shell of a man. "Out of all of the times in my life when I'm finally happy- when I'm finally safe and secure, you just had to come and fu-"

"Kyra." Poe's voice gasped out, causing the woman to stop whatever she was saying. Her eyes were immediately drawn to him, Kylo Ren's lightsaber ignited, waiting like a sword about to execute someone right in front of his neck. "Kyra you need to-"

"Quiet." Ren spat out, the monstrosity of his mask gone, the wild and reckless eyes of a soulless monster obvious as Kyra stared up into his eyes. It was a look that was devoid of any feeling except darkness, something that chilled the woman down to her core.

She had never seen him like this.

"You really have gone off the rails, haven't you?" Kyra couldn't help but talk again, her voice cracking in sadness and shock, unable to do anything else in that moment. She was essentially weaponless, the one device that she could use to save Poe gone from its place on her weapons belt, given up to a girl who Kyra couldn't find for the life of her.

There was no response from the Sith lord in training as he kept the lightsaber steadily against Poe's neck, threatening to kill the one person in life that made Kyra feel whole again, the one person who gave her the feeling of home again. He said nothing- and that was what terrified Kyra the most.

"No." Kyra whispered, desperation flooding into her voice as she kept her eyes locked onto Ren's, trying to see what he would do next. "No. Don't do this." Sorrow flooded into her voice as she stared into Poe's eyes, the man realizing what she would do in order to to barter for his life. "Take me instead. Let him live. He hasn't done anything to y-"

"Kyra, no." Poe argued, carefully eyeing the lightsaber that unsteadily flickered against him, just seconds away from cutting him to pieces. "I'm not going to let you throw away everything again. Not like this. I won't-"

His voice cut out quickly, silenced by the Force that was pressing up against him from Ren, not allowing the man to speak in a conversation that was now strictly between Kyra and Kylo Ren. Two sides of the same coin, gone separate ways and now living two separate lives. There was an almost jealousy that radiated off of Ren as he looked between Poe and Kyra, the happiness that the two had almost filling him up with longing and rage.

Yet there in front of him was the reason why he was so unhappy- why he was even in the place that he was in the first place. Kyra Ceydea. The day that the Ceydeas had sent out their plea for help from the Rebellion over 27 years ago was the day that Ben Solo had been condemned. Shoved to the side by his own parents, the responsibility of the galaxy and taking down the Empire more important than their own son.

And in the end, nothing that anyone would ever do would be enough to make up for that fact.

"Nothing will be good enough to make that trade." Kylo Ren finally spoke, his words calculated and slow as he turned his attention from where Kyra stood to the man that he held in his grasp. Kicking Poe down to his knees, Ren quickly moved his lightsaber, slashing it across the man's back, watching him fall to the ground.

"No!" Kyra screamed, instantly bringing herself out of whatever hellish place she had been in, her mind racing as she found herself no longer in the burning ruins of the Resistance base, instead tucked away inside of the quarters that she and Poe shared- safe and sound. Her heart was pounding in her chest, everything she had just seen so unsettling to her, Kyra rubbing her eyes as she turned to her right to see Poe silently stirring right next to her, awoken by her nightmare.

"Another one?" Poe mumbled, raising his head from where it was smushed into his pillow, the typical curly bed head he got in the morning more obvious than ever. There was a look of concern written all over his face. Poe always wished that he could help the woman with her nightmares, and ease the pain and the burden that she carried on her shoulders more than he already did.

"Yeah." Kyra took in a shuddering breath, running a shaky hand through her hair as she swung her legs over to reach the cool floor. The movement grounded her back in the moment she was in, the woman closing her eyes and taking a deep breath in, trying to erase everything that she had just seen. She had experienced bad nightmares before, sure, but the one that she had just witnessed? It was nothing like Kyra had ever had before.

Suddenly, a soft and warm hand met Kyra's shoulder, Poe sitting up from his place in the bed, using his free hand to rub his eyes awake. He didn't want to leave Kyra alone this early in the morning. And besides- they had a ritual when one of the two would wake up too soon for any human being to function properly. "I'll go get the kettle running then." Poe slid right next to where Kyra sat on the bed, giving her a small kiss on the cheek and a squeeze of her shoulder as he stood up, looking back at her with a pure and caring love in his eyes.

As Kyra watched Poe quietly yawn as he left the room, giving a long stretch of his arms to wake himself up, the woman stopped and took in another deep breath, shaking herself out of whatever weird feeling that something wrong was going to happen.

It had been two months after all.

Nothing had been really heard from the First Order outside of the norm since Rey had left a couple of weeks before either. So that had to mean that everything was good- that nothing like the sights and sounds that she had just witnessed would become a reality- right?

Kyra most certainly hoped so.

Rising from her spot on the bed, Kyra saw the clothes that she had carelessly thrown to the ground the night before. She was already in a comfortable top, so all she had to do was slip on the almost cargo green colored pair of pants that she had left the night before and grab a jacket from the chair where Poe normally left all of his jackets that he now co-owned with Kyra and she was set.

Their quarters were always unusually cold, neither of them able to really figure out why, and much too lazy to have someone come and repair the way that they were. Besides, it was rather easy to just grab a jacket from where they were scattered around the room and grab one of them to wear than get the entire place fixed.

Finding the original jacket that Poe had given her those months ago, Kyra slipped it on, making her way out of the room in the back to see Poe already standing by the small stove they had in a tiny kitchenette. It stood in the left corner of the end of the hallway, the kitchenette eventually opening up into a small living room that had a sofa and two armchairs for when they had company over. Normally, that company would be Poe's flight crew or Fox and Finn, but today, in the early hours of the morning, there was no one.

There wasn't any light shining outside of the two's quarters, it was still rather dark, the first hints of daylight barely making the pitch black sky brighter than it would normally be when the two would wake up. Their shades were drawn partially open in the room, which was the reason as to why they could see the outside sky, Poe adjusting the shades before Kyra even walked into the room.

He knew that she liked to see the stars and the sky surrounding her. It was a reminder to her that she was free, and she wasn't confined to a place where she couldn't escape the life she had been told to live. Poe thought it was a cute sentiment, and it was one of the small things that made him love her- even if he hadn't really told her that yet.

"Feeling a little better, Space Girl?" He asked as he watched Kyra walk into the room, immediately stopping to look out at the sky with a soft smile on her face. Poe quietly took note that she was also wearing the jacket that he had gifted her not too long ago as well, instead opting for the jacket that she actually owned instead of stealing one from his collection.

"You pulled the shades already." Kyra noted softly, her smile growing wider as she moved into the kitchen, giving Poe a light kiss where he stood before taking a seat at the small table that now had two chairs inside of the kitchenette. "Thanks."

"Course." Poe smiled a dopish love-filled grin at Kyra, who gave him a small laugh at the look he was giving her. The sound of her laughter was something that always brightened up his day, something that almost reminded him of the pure and absolute elation that he felt when he had flown an X-Wing up into the stars for the first time.

The loud whistling of the tea kettle startled Poe from his gaze, causing him to jump a little in fright. It only made Kyra laugh even more as he scrambled to turn off the heat that was making the pot scream so loudly, and then hastily try and find the two cups that he "swore he laid out in advance" for the tea bags that he had set out against the counter.

It wasn't long until the man had everything organized once again (Kyra and Poe were awful at organizing everything in their house, Kyra preferring there to be no routine and Poe just too busy to actually have time to put things in their place) and the tea set out for Kyra, a small tea bag already floating inside. "One cup of tea for you." He slid the mug into her hands, the warmth of the cup already making the quarters a little less chilly. "And one for me." He grabbed his from where it stood on the counter, taking the seat opposite from her.

"I owe you one the next time." Kyra mumbled as she savored the warm feeling that spread through her body when she took the first sip of tea, the hot liquid waking her up immediately, a small smile forming on her face again. "The next time we're up this early, I'm making you the tea."

"That is, if you don't burn a towel like the last time." Poe chuckled, waiting for Kyra's reaction as she took another sip of tea, almost choking on the scalding liquid when he spoke. Her face turned almost bright red, the woman making a mocking face at Poe.

"That was one time! And besides, I didn't attempt to make a loaf of bread as a romantic gesture that was made almost entirely of flour and almost burned our place down." Kyra retorted, giving a scoff as she watched Poe give his own fake expression of hurt.

"Hey! It wasn't that bad."

"Our place smelled of burnt flour for almost two weeks! I had to open the windows every day just to get the stench out." She disagreed, taking another sip of her tea, arching an eyebrow at Poe. Kyra watched as his face slightly fell, holding one hand up in surrender as he gripped his mug with the other.

"Alright, alright. So maybe it was bad." Poe hesitated, fully processing the words that Kyra had said. Our place. Like it wasn't just his anymore. The thought of her even doing something as simple as calling it theirs made him grin. "Although it's nice to hear you call it our place instead of just mine. Glad to know that you're not moving out anytime soon."

"Course it's our place." Kyra brushed it off like it was no big deal, the woman herself not even realizing that she had so casually just called it theirs in an instant. "Not like I have anywhere else to go. You're stuck with me, and I'm stuck with your stupid mug."

"Hey!"

The conversation the two had continued on for hours after that, Kyra and Poe drinking countless cups of tea and talking about things that had no relevance until the sun started to rise and break through the open blinds. It was something the two did often to take their mind off of the impending worries and nightmares that often plagued them, a ritual that happened frequently.

After that, they fell into their usual routine like clockwork. Kyra cleaned up the tea that they had made much earlier (the unspoken rule was whoever made it had no clean-up duty), and Poe got prepared for the day, the man just wandering around before in clothes that he considered to be sleep ones, changing and taking a shower to wash of his "pilot odor" of oil and sweat, as Kyra called it.

Everything was going as it should have been, the two getting ready and heading out of their quarters around the time that the base started to wake up, the two of them early risers in comparison to everyone else. Before this, Poe wouldn't have considered himself to be a fan to get up early, but with how soon in the morning Kyra woke up, he had learned to adapt. There had been occasional days in which the two slept in, sure, but those were far and few between- one of the only times being the one when Han had caught them off guard a couple of days after the destruction of Star Killer base.

There were a couple of pilots running about the docking bay when the two walked out of the general quarters area, seeing some of Poe's flight crew back from a small mission- Snap waving them a greeting from afar with a quick smile. The day was one that was like every other, but Kyra didn't really mind all that much.

She would take the routines of the Resistance over the routines and missions of the First Order any day.

Walking to where there was probably an inevitable briefing meeting with General Organa about the mission with Luke Skywalker that was being kept under pretty tight wraps, Kyra let the bright sun wash over her face for a moment, enjoying the small moment that the mornings brought her. Poe stopped to stand beside her, squeezing her hand after a moment, signifying that it was probably best that they get a move on.

Squeezing his hand back, Kyra gave one last look up at the sky of where she expected to see some small clouds and a somewhat bright rising sun. What she saw was something that made her heart drop deep into her stomach.

Fighters. TIE fighters. They were swooping in, coming closer and closer to the place where the Resistance base was. Kyra could just make out the outline of at least two Star Destroyers, one of them she immediately recognized as Snoke's ship.

Shit.

Just when she thought she had gotten away, Kyra's worst nightmare had come true. The First Order had found the Resistance and their base, most likely following the Resistance members who had just gotten back from their mission to their home base. They had found the Resistance.

Untwining her hand from Poe's, Kyra lightly hit his chest, trying to call his attention as she continued to look up into the sky, cautious to make sure that the First Order didn't come any nearer than what she had seen them swoop down to at this point. "Poe, Poe." She repeated his name, finally getting his attention after a couple of tries, pointing up at the sky with a shaky hand. "Look."

Poe's eyes followed Kyra's hand up to where he saw the First Order circling their skies, his face immediately falling as he saw the ships that came closer and closer to the base. "Oh shit." He echoed what was running through Kyra's mind, grabbing Kyra's hand carefully that was hitting him on the chest. The two of them made eye contact, the same worry and fear running through both of their expressions in that moment. "We gotta-"

"Tell the General." Kyra finished for Poe, starting to pull him in the direction that General Organa's office was located. It was like his feet were frozen to the ground at first, his fight or flight instinct not entirely kicking in yet.

"Yeah." The words escaped his lips before he could even think about what he was saying, allowing Kyra to start to move him in the direction that they were supposed to be going. Poe's mind was frozen at the moment, the man trying to consider how the hell the First Order had found their base after all these years. They were careful- they always were.

There was a wavering tone in Kyra's voice, her anger, frustration, and fear all molding into one mess of a look as she kept glancing between Poe and the First Order ships that were now ruining the normally perfect view of the skies on the Resistance base. "How do we even-"

"We just tell her. There's no other way to get out of this other than a fight." Poe sighed, running a hand through his hair anxiously. This was exactly not how he wanted this day to go. It was bad enough that Kyra had experienced one of the worst nightmares that she had, ever, from the way he had seen her shaken up, and now there was this.

"Well, we're here." It felt like barely a moment later that they arrived in front of General Organa's office, knocking on the door and watching it slide open, seeing Fox and Finn already waiting for the two of them inside. Maybe it was just the fact that the two of them were too engrossed in their thoughts, or maybe it was just the fact that danger was impending.

Giving another quick look between each other, trying to figure out who would talk first, Poe leapt for the moment. He knew that it would be hard for Kyra to talk about, the nervous look only growing as they stepped inside the office, her small nervous tendencies that Poe had picked up on only increasing under the pressure. "General Organa, we jus-"

"The First Order. They're here."

<~•~>

well hello there :)

did you like my angst and fluff?

that was just a taste of the angst, y'all better say goodbye to the fluff because that's the last of it for a while 😪✌🏼 I do sincerely apologize for y'all on my behalf because what comes next maybe is a little too mean

literally before I wrote this chapter the only thing I had down in this chapter was "uh oh, get ready for hell" so if that's any context, that's what's coming soon 😌✌🏼

anyways HI HI HI HI WELCOME TO THE SEQUEL I AM SO EXCITED THAT YOU ALL ARE HERE!!! THIS IS LIKE MY BABY ( I've been working on it for all of quarantine and I hope y'all enjoy it ) PLEASE IF YOU KNOW OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ TOAST BUT DON'T KNOW THIS EXISTS DIRECT THEM HERE !!

okay anyways enough of me being a validation whore 🥵

I really hope you guys enjoyed this 5,000 word beginning, I wrote most of it today because I'm finally vibing again to write 😤

it's taken me two weeks of just doing random edits for a new fic that's incoming ( it's a sith! Luke au, and yes it does include the iconic mother daughter duo that is kyra and alora ) and lightsaber edits for me to get here so 😛🤪

IF Y'ALL WANNA SEE WHAT I HAVE BEEN DOING I WILL REITERATE MY WP INSTA IS THE PLACE TO BE: findtheforce.wp ( ayy that kinda rhymes)

alright I think that's everything, once again, I hope you enjoyed, and if you made it through this very long author's note, you're a champ 😌

ps go look at the last jedi crawl i made it's in the chapter before this because it's pretty neat 😤😤

alright thank you all ilysm

( comments make me work faster and I love seeing your reactions just saying 🤭🥰 ) sorry the validation whore popped out again

OKAY ANYWAYS BYEEEE GET READY FOR HELL