Song for the third part of the chapter: Washing Machine Heart - Mitski

- - - - -

He's not in class.

Halfway through breakfast, Professor Slughorn said something to him. Regulus's face dropped momentarily, and the two of them left the Great Hall.

I got through my last class without seeing him. Not even a glimpse of the black-haired boy. He wasn't in class, wasn't in the corridors, wasn't at lunch.

"Oi, Rosier!" I called.

Evan stops walking, turning to look at me. I caught him alone, which is rare. He's usually with Regulus or Barty, Emma or Lucinda on occasion.

"What's up, McKinnon?" He asks, peering into my eyes.

I shift on my feet, suddenly regretting seeking him out.

"Come to profess your love for me?" Evan teases. "Because you'll have to get in line."

I rolled my eyes at him, thankfully that he knew how to lighten the mood.

"Where's Reg-, Black?" I questioned, correcting myself.

Evan raises an eyebrow at me. "Slughorn had some answers for him about some potion or dumb thing that Reg asked about. Bloody overachiever. After that I'm pretty sure he went to the library-, or the astronomy tower, I'm not quite sure. But I'd assume he's in our dorm now."

"Astronomy tower?"

"Yeah," Evan says, "It's his favorite place in the castle. Anyways, why're you asking?"

His favorite place in the castle.

I press my lips together, faking an annoyed look. "I want to make sure that git isn't going to miss our patrol tonight."

"Hmm, fair enough," Evan commented. He looks down at my covered neck then back up at me. "Just don't get caught, I can only imagine the gossip that would ensue. It would be quite the scandal."

He knows. He definitely knows.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, Rosier."

Evan smiles, "Yes, you do. Reg is my best friend, so even if he's all brooding and 'mysterious' it's not that hard to put it all together."

I'm pretty sure my jaw drops open just slightly.

"Don't worry, McKinnon," Evan said. "I'll make sure that lover boy doesn't miss patrol."

Evan winks at me before turning away, taking the staircase down to the dungeons.

What could be so important to know about that Regulus would skip class?

I'm pretty sure he's never even been late, let alone skip a class. I think back to fourth year, when Reg got knocked unconscious off his broom during a match against Ravenclaw. He had a broken nose and a dislocated knee. But, come Monday morning, he was sitting in front of me in Charms, punctual as always.

What is he on about?

- - - - -

Regulus Black

I stare up at the expensive green silk of my bed canopy, already getting irritated with the noise coming from the common room.

I reach for my watch on my nightstand, checking the time.

Classes are done.

Setting my watch back down, my sleeve rides up and I can't help but stare at my forearm,

The mark is dark, contrasting against my skin.

As I stare at the snake on my arm, I can practically feel the pain I felt when I got it. The burning sensation in my left forearm that left my entire body feeling like it had been shocked. I can practically see my mother's face. Lips pressed in a thin line, wearing a face of approval.

She had been screaming at me before they got there-, before he got there.

I remember pleading with her, begging her not to let them mark me.

Of course, she showed no mercy.

"Nothing that a cruciatus can't fix," She had muttered, wand at the ready.

I was no stranger to the pain that ensued after that, however, I was a stranger to the pain of the mark.

The actual "marking" of my arm wasn't that bad, it was the bind it created. The bind that existed between him and I, whether I liked it or not.

I pull my eyes away from the mark on my arm and stare back up at my bed canopy.

She doesn't deserve this.

I can't put her through this.

The dormitory door bursts open, interrupting my thoughts. Evan walks in, kicking his shoes into the corner and throwing his book bag onto the edge of his bed. I keep looking up, ignoring him.

"McKinnon asked about you," Evan admitted.

I sit up slightly. "Oh?" I said. "She did?"

"Yeah, I was just talking to her."

"What'd she ask?" I questioned, looking at Evan.

He shrugs, "She asked where you were, why you weren't in class. Then she asked if you'd still be doing your patrol with her tonight."

"I am," I assured. "Just had some stuff to research, some things to think about."

Evan laughed, "Merlin, she's turning you into a sap."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied.

"Funny enough, neither did she."

I roll my eyes at Evan, laying back down in my bed.

I can't get her involved in this.

I can't get involved with her.

- - - - -

Meredith McKinnon

I met him at our usual spot, in front of the Great Hall.

As he approached, his seemingly good mood this morning was gone, replaced with a brooding mood.

"Hi," I say, "Missed you in class today."

"Yeah, I had some stuff to do. Let's get started, shall we?" Regulus replies, starting to walk down the corridor.

I follow him down the corridor, not sure where we stand as the silence washes over us.

"Reg?"

He flinches slightly, looking over at me.

"Yeah?"

The both of us had stopped walking, the Great Hall no longer in sight.

"Where's your head at?" I ask, looking into his eyes for answers.

He shrugs, "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

Regulus stares at him, his eyes no longer soft like the night before. His posture was tense, uninviting.

"Merlin, I can't do this right now, Meredith," Regulus says.

I bring my hands to cup his face, but his expression stays the same. "Reg-, I don't know what you're on about," I admitted.

It's like a switch flips. I can practically see it in his eyes.

"God, could you be anymore fucking stupid?" He muttered, pulling away from me.

My heart flutters, sinking into my stomach.

"We snogged a few times, we shagged once, but that's it. That's all it ever was," Regulus declares. "Stress release, an outlet."

His words cut through me like a knife, leaving me bleeding out into the middle of this goddamned corridor in the middle of the night.

I stuttered, "But-, I thought that-"

"It doesn't matter what you thought," He interrupts. "I'm just sorry I didn't make myself more clear."

"You're being mean," I said, my voice cold.

His voice is even colder as he responds. "What? Did I hurt your feelings?"

"You know what?" I raise my voice. "Go fuck yourself, Regulus Black. Go fuck yourself."

Regulus's face falls briefly before the mask comes back up. He doesn't say anything, just stares at me.

I turn on my heel, heading back to Gryffindor Tower, needing to put as much distance between us as possible.

By the time that I'm in front of the portrait hole, hot tears are running down my face.