The Artist:

“Yes, I will”

His words made bubbles of excitement rush through my veins and I faltered to keep my longing in check, instinctively pulling him closer to myself. I am afraid he isn’t fully aware about what it is to model for a painter but since he is agreeing to it I guess I’ll have to guide him through this, not like I mind anyway.

My mind went to the warmth in between our palms as our fingers stayed laced together. He hadn’t drawn away from me yet, let’s take that as a good sign.

“Even if I...if I..” I felt myself getting lost in those pools of honey brown yet again as he watched me with intense curiosity and picked his brows in question to my sudden stuttering.

“If I tell you to bare it all before me?”

I watched his mouth part and eyes spark wide momentarily before he drew away his gaze, ears burning red and I don’t know why my heart cooed at him for being this adorably cute.

He’s shy one, but what’s the use when I can see myself lusting for your soul even if you try to hide your body from me

“It’s a pa-part of this m-modelling thing right?”

He moved back from me and I tugged at his hand, not intending to let go.

“Yes, of course” I replied desperately trying to push away the tempting images flaring in my head as I cursed at myself for being this pathetic, but I’m only human.

“Ok-kay then, I guess..” he looked down, gulping a bit and my eyes latched onto his lips again. So sinfully cherry and appealing that I found myself leaning in closer and closer, realizing I’d need inhuman resistance to not touch him when he models for me.

“Good” my breath fanned his cheek as I edged impossibly close to him, his flushed cheek as if waiting for my forbidden touch and I realized he is possibly the hardest of challenges I have been through, probably the only one I’d wilfully fail.

This weakness to you feels so rewarding that I can’t stop myself

It was evening already but I did not feel like parting with him just yet, more like ever again.

So I tugged him down the stairs of the cruise, his steps matching mine as he let himself be guided by me through the pier and the walkway to the car.

“Let’s go, I want you to meet someone” I actually can’t figure out anything else for now, hopefully Jimin’s home.

I really didn’t feel like letting go of his hand but had to, my fingers feeling awkward and worthless the moment I did so.

“Oh ok..a friend?” “Yeah-he’s more like family” I smiled watching him fumble with the seatbelt, I guess he thinks I’m crazy for being this impulsive but the next question he asked made me realize he wasn’t just judging me.

“Do I have to model for him too?” He chewed on his lip, nervous eyes waiting for my answer. “I mean..umm..do I need to” he uneasily gestured to his clothes.

“Oh..n-no. No, he isn’t a painter” I chuckled, trying to clear away the awkwardness, realizing why he looked so confused and uneasy.

“Ah, so we’re going to just meet him” he settled into the seat more comfortably, a smile gracing his lips now and I set my eyes on the road, trying not to let my smile show.

Pride, and an unknown sense of gratification filled me realizing the hint beneath all of what had just passed, and I let my eyes flicker over him for one slight second.

He is comfortable being bare for my eyes only.

“Still won’t tell me your name?”

I swear his voice is like a sweet warm relish, like a big cup of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows on a wintry eve, makes me want to indulge and keep listening to him.

My fingers edged to his again, snatching them to myself as I tugged him to follow me into the apartment building. 

“I rather like you calling me Mr. Artist” I turned to him as we stepped inside the elevator, and just when I thought it was lucky for me to get him alone here a couple, with a skimpy toothed youngster and a weeping toddler along with a dog, joined us.

I chose to squeeze nearer to Seokjin rather than get separated from him, and he pushed himself into a corner, giving me a timid tight-lipped smile, eyes snapping away as I stood a breath away from him.

It was the ninth floor for us, and I knew I was being shameless, staring at him like he belonged to me but I couldn’t help it.

His every single nuance seemed to have been crafted out of my dreams, custom made to my liking, not a single thing in him that could stop me from craving more.

The dog wiggled nearer to him and he flinched, pressing onto my chest, and while he frowned down at the fur ball, my eyes set ardently on his grasp at my jacket. I could hear the woman’s voice calling away the dog and apologizing to us, saw him smile with a soft bow to her but couldn’t pull my gaze away from the side of his face.

“What?” He asked suddenly turning to see me staring at him, and my dazed brain couldn’t find words being confronted like that.

“I-I like my-I mean your ear” I blurted out, feeling horribly stupid and internally face-palming.

“My ear?” He gave me a quizzical look and chuckled “painters are weird people I guess”.

And I could only nod taking the insult like I deserved.

Sadly, Jimin wasn’t home.

“You should’ve called me before you arrived” he yelled at me as I gave a weak smile to Seokjin, who began looking around the place.

“Yeah, I know, I screwed up” “Wait a bit, will you? I’ll be there in thirty” he assured and I agreed. Shoving the phone away, I looked around to see the hallway empty, Jin nowhere around me.

A void gripped at my chest, the urge to yell for him clawing at my throat.

I trotted down the hallway, rounding the corner back to the elevator thinking he’d plan to go back knowing I had screwed up the plan for the evening.

Nope, not here.

Could he have left without a word?

A pang speared through me realizing that he had no reason to be thoughtful towards me anyway. I am no one to him.

I keep forgetting he can’t read my mind, doesn’t see what I see in him, won’t understand the pain I feel right now.

“Hey..” That sugar delight of a voice called to me and I turned around in a flash to see him peeking “were you leaving without me?”

I smiled too loud as I felt my heart beaming at how infinitely adorable of a human he is.

“I was looking for you, he said it’s gonna take him fifteen minutes to get here. Do you wanna wait or..” I said, adding a bit of a white lie as I stared at his eyes hoping he’d say okay to it “or go back?” “The city looks amazing from here” he said half turning to the large bay window at the other end of the passage, and an idea clicked in my sly brain.

“It looks better from the roof, come, I’ll show you” my mind felt at peace as I felt his warm palm curl around mine the moment I edged my hand to him.

I jerked open the heavy door to the roof, the cold breeze raced through our hairs as I guided him around the damp floor as to find just the nook I was looking for, tugged him to the winding stair coiling up to reach nearer to the night sky. My hand helping him up as we stepped closer to the place I had often come to lose myself among the stars and drank to the night, just usual weekends of four artsy college students, easier times.

I felt glad to see his mouth fall open at the view and watched his eyes twinkle brighter than the glow of the city stretched in front or the stars watching over us. He walked nearer to the edge, fingers gripping at the railing.

“This is so unbelievably beautiful” he gushed, voice almost a whisper as the wind carried away the words.

And tonight I had a better delight to lose myself in than the stars, “truly beautiful” so beautiful that I can’t seem to be able to look away.

The evening darkened to sketch the skies with innumerable constellations, the winds grew icier nipping into our core and I saw his cheeks freeze to pink, nose and ears matching colour.

“Good God, it’s freezing” he hastily searched his carry-on to pull out a scarf and wrapped it about himself, I watched him rub his palms to blow into them and then turned to me.

“You seem used to this” he spoke through chattering teeth, and I smiled at his adorable look.

Taking his hands and blanketing them in mine I blew warm puffs to help him through the chill.

“Better?” He nodded lying, his shoulders still shivering and I took the chance, feeling confident or maybe foolish, not sure, as I pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around him. I watched him intently, waiting for his reaction but he only snuggled closer, pushing his head into my shoulder and all the cold in the world could never hamper the warmth that filled me at the moment.

I breathed into his neck feeling his arms wrap around me under my jacket.

“A lot better” he spoke into my neck and I felt my heart wrench, the bliss was just too much, painful almost.

We stayed like that for a while, letting everything else roll on at its own pace while we stilled living inexplicably in the moment, another addition to my list of times that endow eternal sunshine to my head and heart.

A buzz startled both of us as we broke away from the trance.

“Must be Minnie” I cleared my throat to gather my wits as I fumbled trying to remember where I put my phone, then realized I could just follow the vibrations.

We headed down and came face to face with all four of them as we rounded the corner.

My little greeting to see them melted to nothing as their confused wide eyes stayed on Jin, and I felt him pressing closer to me awkwardly.

Jimin’s eyes jumped from him to our laced fingers and then came to set on mine in question, and I simply gave him a smile and shrugged.

“Hello” I saw Jimin give him a smile which Jin returned with a polite bow, following the same gesture when I took up the duty to introduce him to all of them and they began greeting him one after another before I tugged him along to enter the apartment.

“I assume he is the one you ditched us for yesterday huh?” Hoseok whispered to me as Jennie and Jimin went into the kitchen to put down the takeaway they had brought along.

“Tae! Will you come and help me a bit?” I heard Jimin yell from the kitchen and turned to see Jin take a seat on the couch as Yoongi sat oddly occupied with his phone beside him.

“Don’t say anything stupid to him or I swear I’ll be the death of you” I threatened Hobi, knowing the man inside out and the extent of his goofiness “and keep an eye on Yoongi too”.

I almost race to the kitchen, intending to be back by Jin as soon as possible.

“Now that’s a surprise” Jennie giggled as Jimin perked an eyebrow at me “spill the tea, what’s going on? Last I checked you were following him around and now you look like you’re dati-” I put my palm on his mouth trying to shut his loud mouth up.

“Will you just calm tf down! Don’t mess it up for me you guys, he’s shy and sensitive, it took me all day to make him agree...so please!” I realized I was whisper-yelling at them.

“He agreed?!” Jimin asked pulling my palm away from his mouth, voice loud and squealing. “Shhh!!”

“Agreed to what?” “Yeah, agreed to what?” Hoseok came, draping an arm around Jennie’s neck as he leaned in to listen to our whispers.

“Shit! You left him alone with Yoongi” I tried to hurry away when all of them grabbed back at me.

“To model for him, apparently our Tae here is head over heels for the man” Jimin chirped, mockingly eyeing me and Hoseok and Jennie joined him.
It felt like I had just brought my hot date home to meet my family.

“It’s nothing like that” I weakly tried not to look like a complete fool “he’s gorgeous, and I just want to paint him”.

“He’s cute” Jennie spoke peering over me to look at Jin on the couch awkwardly fumbling with the hem of his coat, and I realized I was smiling as if she had just complimented me.

From the corner of my eye I saw Jimin skip his way towards the couch and clutched at his collar to pull him back “I’m warning you, don’t make him feel awkward. No stupid talks” I growl at him, knowing how much of evil he was capable of.

“Chill, I just wanna know him better, ask a few questions” “Nope! I don’t-“ I began but was cut-off.

“What are you so scared of anyway?
Don’t you wanna know him better? You should if you like him”

I let go of his collar, debating on the words sitting at the tip of my tongue.
“What’s the use anyway..” I mumbled almost to myself “I only got four days with him, he’s gonna leave. I don’t want to do the same mistake”

The silence that took over was rather gloomy, I guess they were sympathizing yet again. Although it was all my fault really, I have bad reflexes, never learning how to brace my heart from falling too hard.

A clinking tune echoed in the sudden heavy silence around us, taking all of us by surprise and we looked about trying to figure out where it was coming from.

“He plays..” I followed Jimin’s gaze to see Jin seated before the piano at the corner of the living room, his hands gliding mesmerizingly over the keys but it was the elusive glow in his eyes and that soft curl on his lips that snatched my breath away.

“He plays beautifully” Hoseok acknowledged the talent as we stayed frozen. Even Yoongi stared at Jin forgetting his phone as we listened to the magic his waltzing fingers created.

I walked carefully nearer to him, my eyes trained on his back as he softly swayed back and forth playing with the keys. The music creating volleying waves of unknown effervescence within my chest.

He’s playing Haydn, a curiously familiar note but the charm was breathtaking. I halted a step away from him, my stupid head reminiscing the moment on the roof when he had coiled into my embrace, accepting my actions.

Leaning low I place my face right beside his as I set my fingers on the keys, tinkling with those alongside him. The moments’ surprise in his eyes flitted away when he saw it was me and he resumed, taking up the next note as I carried the tune forward.

The warmth emanating from him was a sweet invitation and I snuggled closer, my chin almost touching his shoulder, pressing my arms closer to him, practically embracing him again.

My heart casually skipped a beat when he turned to me, smiling with a familiarity that clearly went more than the day old acquaintance we actually share. A comforting, warm and pleasing smile.

“Wow..you can play the piano too, and quite well at that”

His words hit my cheek as I followed his nimble digits, carrying the note he had been playing.

“I’ve gifted hands” I voiced smiling to myself, strictly avoiding to meet his eyes because as appealing as the proximity felt, it was messing further with my restraint.

“I don’t doubt that Tae” he softly spoke mimicking Jimin’s loud holler a while ago as he returned his gaze to the keys, or so I thought until he nudged my fingers with his, softly teasing and side-eyeing me as I caught a smirk. I chuckled into his ear and he giggled as I nudged closer teasing him back, he kept returning my teasing actions with equally taunting tickles till I grabbed his palms feeling restless and overwhelmed with his sly little gestures.

“Don’t play with me” my voice had become low and husky as I spoke into his ear, realizing that my lips are pressed on the shell of his ear and although it was the tiniest one, a short squeaky whine made goose bumps flare all over my skin catching that little sound slip out of his lips.

I shouldn’t have frozen like that because he turned bright red in embarrassment and snapped his head to the other side, coughing into his fist and straightening away from me, breaking the tune we had been playing midway. But paled further as he turned about and I straightened by him to see all eyes set widely at us, mouths half open till I heard Yoongi chuckle and return to scrolling down his phone.

“You guys..you’re good, nice little performance you got going there..” Hoseok spoke holding back a grin and I was simply frozen behind Jin.

He smiled, edging back towards the couch, probably trying to move away from me. Like that would work after the little revelation I just witnessed.

Not happening, I don’t think your subtle coy actions will keep you safely guarded from my yearning...I don’t think you’ll be able to keep away, I don’t think you want to.

A certain gnawing urge caught on me, the sanity that had been telling me all day to hold back had began to wane out. Clearly he wasn’t completely unaffected by me, that little whiny reaction opened several doors to bring about this realization on me.

I stared at him unfazed, and saw his gaze time and again find me.

And throughout the evening, as we got busy in mundane chitchats and saw him fumble and stutter through their varied piles of questions, I kept my eyes on him, unmoving and stern, demanding him to not hide from me like he had been doing.

Because here I was, standing at the edge of my restraint, needing him to see how utterly he had stripped me off of all my strengths, how utterly weak I was to him, willingly laying bare myself...if only he be willing to see.

As we left the apartment I tugged him along again, completely blocking away Hoseok and Jennie’s banters or Yoongi’s complaints against them for being too loud, as I felt the sin of greed churn within my belly. The heavy hand of appropriate manners slipping away as I blurted out the words the moment the others dispersed and we came back to my car.

“Do you wanna go to my studio and see how gifted my hands are?”

Yes, I intentionally phrased it to hint more than what I was hinting at, and his response was quick.

“Yeah, I’ve kinda been waiting” and that smirk made my breath catch, eyes setting sharply on mine.

Truly, I have never seen such fiery eyes ever before, like a blazing ball of sensations have been living in there, and the world turned to a mere cacophony while my very existence slowly chained itself to him. 

á na márië

[A\N] Hopefully the story is going somewhere although I feel terribly lost 😅