When I came back from work, Kai was sitting by the fountain.

My legs refused to move and pass by him. A five-metre radius around him felt like a danger zone. If I got close, I’d get sucked into a blackhole.

But I had to eventually go inside.

I took small steps towards the double doors of the mansion, keeping my head hung low as if I had never noticed him in the first place. My irregular breaths were creating a white fog around my mouth in the cold.

“Melanie, I was waiting for you,” Kai called.

My skin grew goosebumps. I stopped on my spot. Why couldn’t he just let me pass and pretend he didn’t see me? What would he want from me?

I craned my neck his way and found him smiling, but his features were barely recognisable due to the dim lighting. He had his arms propped backwards as his body leant on them.

“Yeah?” I responded, fists clenching.

Kai hopped down from his place and walked up to me. He stared at me, scrutinised me, then his eyebrows knitted. “You look pale as if you’ve seen a ghost. Are you okay?”

I gulped. “I’m fine. It’s just cold.”

He nodded then stuffed his hands in his pockets. “How was your day?” he asked, noticing my exhaustion.

I looked up at him, blinking. “My day?” I pointed to myself. I almost snorted. “It was normal. School, work, and now I’m back home.”

“When do you not have work?” Kai pressed his lips in a tight line.

“Huh? Why do you wanna know?”

Kai smiled at me and rubbed his nape sheepishly. “I wanna take you out if you have the time and don’t mind.”

I thought my ears were playing tricks on me, but no, Kai Kingston was very much in front of me and asking me out. I wished it was that easy. I wished I could say yes immediately and go on with my life, but the simple answer to that request held a lot at stake.

I licked my lips, thinking of the right words to say, so they wouldn’t hurt him and wouldn’t embarrass me at the same time. “Kai…” I stammered.

His goofy smile grew wider. “You didn’t actually expect me to spend a lot of time with you and get intimate then not try to make it serious, did you?”

Oh, wow. I actually did, and it gave me a sense of relief that we didn’t have to get serious and face his parents —simply enjoying a short-lived euphoria. No one would ever know about what we were doing as long as it stayed behind the closed walls of the library.

“I…” I had thoughts that couldn’t be morphed into words. I wanted to tell him his parents would not approve because they wanted him to get closer to Massie, a higher-class lady, not me. I was hurt he hid that from me. I was the maid’s daughter and shouldn’t go out with my master, but I couldn’t find the right way to phrase those hurtful facts.

So, I opted for a simple, unjustified answer and walked away with tears in my eyes.

“I can’t.”

\

There were rooms in that mansion I have never entered or even passed by.

When I was asked to take morning coffee to Mr Kingston’s office, more like another suite, I couldn’t help but get anxious. The man had specifically asked for me to bring it, arising suspicions in me and my mum.

“I think he only wants to check on you, sweetie,” Mum alleged, giving me a reassuring smile.

I tried to convince myself he only wanted to have a normal conversation, probably about my university grades. He was the one to grant me the scholarship that saved my educational path, so it would be normal to check on the student you had dumped your money on.

I knocked once and waited with the shaky, silver tray in one hand. I quickly held it with both hands because if the tray fell because of my clumsiness, that would be the end of me.

“Come in,” I heard.

I slowly twisted the knob and made my appearance. His office’s white walls were framed by bookcases that stored documents and trophies his business had achieved. He was behind his deep brown wooden desk, checking out some papers and scrolling through some documents on his pc. His desk had shiny stationery and a ‘Kenneth Kingston —Chairman’ nameplate.

“Your coffee is here, sir.”

He didn’t look my way. “Put it on the centre table and sit down,” he ordered, and I obeyed.

He got up from his swivel chair and sat opposite of me on the yellow leather sofa. He took one sip from his cup and nodded in approval. That soothed me a little, at least.

“How’s school? Are you comfortable with your colleagues and professors?” he asked.

I nodded. “Everyone is nice and cooperative. I’m lucky to be there. Kai already helped me make friends,” I answered.

His lips pressed in a tight line. For a minute, he looked deep in thought, and I wondered whether my answer was the cause. Did I say anything he didn’t like? I thought if I praised his institute, he would be happy.

“How often do you see Kai and his friends?” he added.

My fists clenched in my lap. His further interest in my entanglement with Kai and his friends definitely meant something. “Every day. I share lectures with some.”

He nodded curtly and put down the cup. “You know, Melanie, I hate liars.”

I blinked at him. “Pardon?”

“I hate liars,” he stressed out the word. “When I asked my son why he was around you a lot, he said he wasn’t. I think he is lying, considering your opposing words.”

My fists clenched on my lap. “Oh.”

“And now I’m asking you, but I’m not expecting you to lie like him.”

His words left a heavyweight on me, a heavy responsibility. I was suddenly self-conscious with every word I had said. I didn’t know the appropriate reply to him while he hinted he didn’t want his son any close to me, yet Massie was even encouraged to. If it was about studies, then we both needed to stay away. I guessed there was a dramatic difference for them.

“Kai is already late for his studies because of personal problems from last year. I’m hoping he would work harder on himself and try to catch up,” he explained. “Because you know, big chances and responsibilities await him.”

I wanted to ask why and where Kai was, but I knew he would rather be upset with my unnecessary curiosity. I cleared my throat. “Sir, if there is anything I can do to help, I assure you I will not save myself. What do you expect me to do?” I asked although I knew I could hardly offer anything.

“You’re an attractive girl,” he praised. “I want you to try your best not to distract the guy; that includes not being around him much.”

I didn’t want to admit I understood where he was getting at. I reddened in embarrassment. Did he know the things we did? Did he know about the erotica library? Was he ashamed of granting someone like me that scholarship? Well, I already rejected going out with Kai anyway.

“I assure you I’ll only do what’s right, sir,” I said, bowing my head.

“I didn’t expect anything different from you.”

I exited the office with a lump in my throat. The back of my hand automatically came up to cover my quivering lips, then I realised I was starting to cry. My legs hurried me back to my room before I could be humiliated further. The maid’s room. That was my worth to the Kingstons.

When I closed the door behind, I gave myself a little more freedom to cry. I felt humiliated. I didn’t deserve to be talked to like that because I came from an underprivileged family, yet I could not stop him. It wasn’t my fault I was less lucky than his son. Did he even consider Kai’s personal choices?

Kai wasn’t like his parents. He never brought up the fact I was lower than him on the social ranks. Our time together was enjoyable and carefree. It almost made me forget who I was around him, so I made myself comfortable in his presence.

That didn’t stop me from hating him a little because of the jealousy. I hugged my knees to my chest and wiped my tears with my sleeves. Someone like me didn’t even have the time to cry anyway. I had work to go to.

\

“Ryan, would you date a person from a class below yours?” I asked through the phone then bit my lip.

Ryan chuckled. “I don’t know. Is there a difference? Is the middle class different?”

I sighed, palming my face. “I’m asking you to know if there is.”

To clear my confusion on the topic, I found Ryan Martinez to be the best person to aid my doubts. He was Kai’s best friend and an aristocrat’s son as well, so I supposed what applied to Kai applied to him too. If anything was wrong with my situation, he’d know better.

“Are you in love with the janitor’s son or something?”

I gulped. The fact he thought I talked about myself as the higher class left an unsettling feeling in my stomach. I disliked lying or pretending, but it wasn’t my fault he initially assumed of me that way. I never gave that hint. I never gave a hint of anything.

“I’m not in love with anyone or anything of the sort. I’m just… wondering.”

The line went dead for a second until Ryan spoke of something I had no idea about, “You’ve got to ask Kevin Kingston about that… Ha, he probably knows better.”

Great. Another Kingston. “Sorry? Who’s that?”

“Kai’s brother. Judging by your reaction, I guess Kai has not met him yet, or he would talk about him. He looks up to his brother. You haven’t met him yet.”

“How’s he like?”

“A serious guy. I don’t like him. I don’t think anyone does, except his father. He is probably proud of him.”

My head hurt with all the information dump through a phone call. My ear started sweating. I cringed in disgust, looking for my earphones to replace the discomfort.

“But Mel, I’m disappointed. I thought you and Kai were going to be a thing soon. He is helping you passionately, and with you, he has a smile on his face I haven’t seen on him for a while. Do you like anyone else?”

I choked on my saliva. “What? No! We’re just… friends. I bet he thinks the same. I was around him a lot at first because I was new. That’s all.” I swallowed. “Kai needs to focus on university anyway. I don’t want to distract him.”

. . .

Thoughts of Mr Kingston?

Expectations of Melanie’s decision?

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